Thursday, March 12, 2009

Ways to Get Pregnant

Please note that this post is written in a lighthearted manner and intended to be humorous...I realize that those who have struggled with infertility may find it a bit flippant and so I thought it best to just say something right off the top so as to avoid hurting feelings...
~~~~~~

I'm not saying these things are guaranteed, but let's just say I know more than a few cases where these held true...
  1. Spend the money/time to get a diva cup or buy/make a bunch of new cloth pads. Pregnancy commonly follows the next month.
  2. Move. This is especially effective if the moving date is the same week as ovulation.
  3. After months of charting and trying to conceive, get busy and take a month off. You'll probably get pregnant that month.
  4. Buy some new skinny jeans--you'll only get to wear them once.
  5. Finally lose all the weight from the last pregnancy and/or get back into your clothes from several years ago.
  6. Buy really expensive, non-refundable tickets to some concert/show/event around 9 months in the future to which you won't be able to bring kids.
  7. Give up trying to conceive; accept that you are 'done having kids' or 'won't be having kids this way.'
  8. Give away all your baby clothing/gear because you're done having kids.
  9. Adopt. Pregnancy often follows within weeks.
  10. If all that fails, try the guaranteed recipes from Daring Young Mom or my friend Alisa (hers worked twice!)

15 comments:

Anji Gallanos said...

Well..it's true...we adopted and 1 month after our oldest came home I was pregnant with our second after 6 years of "trying".

cheers

Anji

Elizabeth said...

Yeah, that was pretty funny since it's pretty true...people that we know couldn't have kids, so they adopted and then had four kids pretty close together! I think God has a sense of humor sometimes.

Carolyn said...

There was a family in my ward who adopted after years of infertility and, yep, they got pregnant pretty soon thereafter!

Carrie said...

Hilarious and SO true! Both 3, 7 and Alisa's "go back to school" worked for me. That is my recipe for success.

Lisa said...

Well, neither adopting nor stopping ttc worked for me, nor for the vast majority of women I know. (Anecdotal miracle stories to the contrary.)

But when we finally were able to adopt our son, it happened right during the time we had scheduled our first ever out-of-state vacation (which was very joyfully cancelled!)

Becky N. said...

Don't forget to give away your baby clothes and gear! That's how we ended up with our little surprise pregnancy, after all! Found out I was pregnant the month after I got rid of all my baby clothes.

Sigh.

I think God must have a healthy sense of humor.

annie2006 said...

yep - have done 5, 6 and 7!

Future Mama said...

Hmm, I'll have to remember these ;op

megandjon said...

I have a theory with the adopting and then suddenly conceiving after years of trying thing...I think being in the presence of babies does something to the mom's hormones. I've always wondered if it would also help to just hang around lots of babies when your trying to conceive...you know, see if your body gets the hint!

Lisa said...

I once read a statistic on infertile women getting pregnant after adopting. It was something around 2%. It's really very rare! It seems more common simply because the stories seem so miraculous that they get passed around and retold a lot. I hang out with a lot of adoptive mothers online, and I am one myself. A few have gotten pregnant, but not very many. (I would say less than 10 out of the hundred+ women I've interacted with over the past 7 years.) And for most of those women, it didn't happen immediately, it sometimes was years later. The two friends I can think of each adopted four children before experiencing their surprise pregnancies. And for one of those friends, the primary reason she got pregnant was because of having surgery, I believe to correct endometriosis.

My feeling is that sometimes God has a specific child or children that need to come to that family through adoption, and after that task is completed, the way is opened for the rest of the (biological) children to come.

I know this is intended to be humorous, but the statement "Oh, now that you've adopted, you'll get pregnant" is among the top three most annoying statements that we adoptive mothers hear. (Accompanied by "adoption is the easy way to have a baby" and "so what do you know about his/her 'real' mom?")

Mommy Bee said...

Lisa, I do hope I didn't hurt your feelings. I started writing the post and realized that there was a time in my life when I maybe wouldn't have wanted to read it either...so that's why I put the note at the top. I know none of these things actually have any bearing on conception, and I really think that all of them are the exception rather than the rule, but we just hear about these ones more. ((hugs))

Lisa said...

Oh, no, my feelings weren't hurt. I wasn't even going to say anything about it (because you're right, it does happen occasionally), but so many of the comments focused on that one thing that I couldn't resist setting the record straight. It's one of those myths that a lot of people really do believe.

Miche said...

Wow, I didn't realize the 2% thing-I actually have two friends that ended up pregnant after adopting-BUT I think they also had stopped birth control completely because they just thought they would never get pregnant, and then perhaps you were right-being around a baby-and being so terribly happy too! Probably causes some changes to their bodies (husband and wife!)

I would love to adopt someday though;but it will take awhile to save the money for it! I just keep feeling like some little kid out there needs us and would be a perfect addition to our family.

natalie said...

Less green variation on #1- purchase the largest pack of pads, because it is more economical.

Just make sure you have room to store them... ;-)

Jessica said...

Right there on #1! I walked 16 blocks on a hot day last summer to get my Diva Cup from one of the only places in the area that sells them, intending to use it for my next period. I used it the next month and thought it was amazing since I had my shortest period EVER (1.5 days, lol, and super light). Turns out it was implantation bleeding, not a period! Ah well, maybe I'll get to use it this summer.

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