"Loving God More than We Love The World"

I'm teaching the lesson in Relief Society (the women's organization) in church today. Here is the outline of my lesson. The lesson from the manual is here. My thanks to The Exponent for their ideas about the lesson as well (I used several of them).

The parts in bold are the section headings from the manual. The parts in italics are the questions I asked of the class (and the parts [in brackets] following them are answers I anticipate, or the direction I will guide the discussion into if needed]. Quoted things are indented.

The title of this lesson is “Loving God more than we love the world”

I want to begin by defining what it is to love God, and then move into what it is to love the world.

 In October 2012 conference Elder Holland told the story of the eleven remaining apostles immediately after Christ’s death and resurrection. They were not sure what they should do now that Christ was not there, so they returned to their fishing boats. Christ came to them on the beach and told them that they should not be still fishing, because they should be changed because of their time with Him. This is when He asks Peter “do you love me” and Peter says yes he does. Jesus tells him “if you love me, feed my sheep.”

[quoting from his talk]

My beloved brothers and sisters, I am not certain just what our experience will be on Judgment Day, but I will be very surprised if at some point in that conversation, God does not ask us exactly what Christ asked Peter: “Did you love me?” I think He will want to know if in our very mortal, very inadequate, and sometimes childish grasp of things, did we at least understand one commandment, the first and greatest commandment of them all—“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind.” And if at such a moment we can stammer out, “Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee,” then He may remind us that the crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty.
“If ye love me, keep my commandments,” Jesus said. So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. We can’t quit and we can’t go back. After an encounter with the living Son of the living God, nothing is ever again to be as it was before. The Crucifixion, Atonement, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ mark the beginning of a Christian life, not the end of it. It was this truth, this reality, that allowed a handful of Galilean fishermen-turned-again-Apostles without “a single synagogue or sword” to leave those nets a second time and go on to shape the history of the world in which we now live. 

I have often noticed that basically every commandment we have, from the ten commandments on down, falls into one of the “two great commandments” of loving God and loving our neighbor as ourselves.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. All hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” ~ John Lennon 

We’ve been told that faith is the opposite of fear, and also that it drives it out. I like this comparison of faith and love, because it goes right along with the idea that if we have the faith to love God, then we’ll show it in fearless love of others.

God shows us an example of unconditional love, forgiving us our faults and offering support in our struggles. Julian of Norwich was an early Christian mystic and she said “If there is anywhere on earth a lover of God who is always kept safe, I know nothing of it, for it was not shown to me. But this was shown: that in falling and rising again we are always kept in that same precious love.”

As our Heavenly Parents love us, so we are to show our love in return by serving our neighbor. And who is our neighbor? In the story of the Good Samaritan the neighbor was simply someone who was there, who was willing and able to help, regardless of religious, political, or economic differences.

What acts does Elder Holland suggest we perform to show our love for God? 
[neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, truth to defend, wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship]

How do you show love for God in your daily acts? 

[Going back to faith and love over fear…my story of picking up the old man on Christmas Eve if there is time]

Christ says that when we do something for another person—ANY other person—then we are doing it for Him. When we clothe the naked, feed the hungry, mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, we are loving God.

Most of us have probably heard the quote from President Kimball “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other.”

I really like the way that Mother Theresa put it “I’m a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.”
Do you ever feel like God’s little pencil? In what ways? 


When people allow worldliness to pervade their minds and hearts, they turn their backs on eternal principles. 

Now that we’ve established what it looks like to love God, let’s move on to what it is to love the world.

In this lesson, President Snow discusses a time in church history where many people had powerful spiritual experiences during the dedication of the Kirtland Temple, including prophesying, speaking in tongues, and seeing and hearing angels. Shortly afterward there was a great deal of speculation—financial risk-taking—going on in the area. Many of the church members got involved in it, and divisions and contention came among them because of it. At every level people were leaving the church, even including several of the apostles, all because their focus on personal gain—or potential personal gain—was the center of their focus and they stopped remembering the Lord.

So what do we mean when we talk about “worldliness” or loving the world? 
How did it happen then? How can it happen to us now? 

From the manual:

The god of the world is the gold and the silver. The world worships this god. It is all-powerful to them, though they might not be willing to acknowledge it. Now, it is designed, in the providence of God, that the Latter-day Saints should show whether they have so far advanced in the knowledge, in the wisdom and in the power of God that they cannot be overcome by the god of the world. We must come to that point. We have also got to reach another standard, a higher plane: we have got to love God more than we love the world, more than we love gold or silver, and love our neighbor as ourselves. 

Can someone do their callings, pay their tithing, read their scriptures, come to meetings every week and still succumb to worldliness?
[Obviously yes]
Are there people outside the church who are loving and serving and doing good in the world?
[Obviously yes]

We have covenanted to separate ourselves from worldliness and devote ourselves to the kingdom of God. 

From the manual:

I thank God that in these times of corruption and wickedness in the world, we have holy and righteous men and women who can devote those superior talents which God has bestowed upon them to His praise and glory. And I might say further, that there are thousands of virtuous and honorable men and women, whom the Lord has gathered out from the nations, that are also willing to devote their time and talents to aid in accomplishing the work of God in the interest of His children. 

How do you avoid worldliness in your daily life? 
How can we help others do so?
[working long hours instead of spending time with family or other loved ones, focusing on social status, overconsumption of worldly goods, vanity, intolerance of other cultures, religions, political positions, _________]

From Matthew 6:

19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
24 No [one] can serve two masters. 

We follow the Savior’s example when we refuse to trade the glories of eternity for the riches of the world.

From the manual:

Now let me ask the question, Who [does] possess anything, who can really and truly call any of this world’s goods [her] own? I do not presume to, I am merely a steward over a very little, and unto God I am held accountable for its use and disposition… Who shall say that the rich, or those that possess many talents, have any better hope or prospect to inherit these blessings than the poor, or those who have but one talent? As I understand it, [one person] who lives according to the law of the Gospel, and is honest and faithful in his [or her] calling, that [person] is just as eligible to the receiving of these and all the blessings of the New and Everlasting Covenant as any other [person]. 

I think sometimes we have a hard time translating Jesus’ example to a modern context. He walked around the desert healing people and telling stories, but we have jobs and kids and laundry to do. However there is a modern day person who I think does an amazing job of following the Savior’s example and that is Pope Francis. I’m hoping that you have seen some of the many articles about him. He may not heal people or feed them by the thousand, but he does talk with them, pray with them, and hug them. He made the Vatican get rid of the expensive mercedes and since then he’s been using inexpensive and used vehicles. He keeps setting aside the extravagant things, and instead spending his time and energy with people, especially those who are poor, sick, disabled, disfigured, or otherwise disenfranchised.

From Matthew 25

34 Then shall the King say unto them…Come, ye blessed, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35 For I was hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me.

What can we do to make sure we are loving God more than the world?

 My testimony that serving others makes us happy. 

Christmas Eve Miracles

Today I was on my way to a friend's house to finish up a Christmas present project (I didn't have space to keep it hidden here, so she let me hide it at her place). I also had a loaf of cardamom bread to drop off to a friend in the same area, and decided to take the route to drop off the bread first.
As I turned up my (bread) friend's street, I saw a hunched-over gentleman shuffling along with crutches. The roads were icy, there was no sidewalk, the temperature was below freezing, and he was moving about 4 inches per step. I guessed that he was on his way between the senior center and the assisted living apartments (they are a block apart, and he was nearly to the driveway of the latter), but something told me to stop and offer him a ride anyway. Even if I only took him up the hill of the driveway, I figured he would appreciate it.
So I stopped right there in the middle of the road next to him, rolled down the window, and said "can I give you a lift?"

He stopped, looked over, and said "God does answer prayers!"

It turns out he was not going to the assisted living apartments. He was going to some other apartments, and they were up two hills and a mile away. I imagine it would have taken him an hour or two to cover that distance at the pace he was going.
I am humbled. I was the answer to a prayer. So many times others have answered my prayers (spoken or only felt), and today it was my turn to pay it forward in some measure. It puts me in mind of two years ago when I was blessed to be in the middle of another miracle. I could have done my errands in a different order this morning. I could have not stopped (I did have my kids with me in the car, and plenty of things to get done). But God used me to make a miracle for someone who needed one today.

Miracles are all around us. We just have to recognize them for what they are.

The Amethyst Network

It is official, the website is up and running.
And I am tired, but very very pleased.
Please, take a look! (click the image)


THANK YOU!
♥ to my fellow founders Kimberlee, Molly, Jena, and Michelle. I could not have done this alone.
♥ to the several etsians who have agreed to donate portions of their sales to TAN.
♥ to my awesome brother for designing this logo.
♥ to anyone who has 'liked' us on facebook or followed us on twitter.
♥ to each of the doulas and mothers (aka peer doulas) who has signed up to join the network.

Forces For Good

I stumbled across this book today at the library. I brought it home because in the last two days ideas have begun swirling in my head. The more I think, the more the ideas come, and the more they fit together, and the more they feel good and, just, right.
Forces for Good" the six practices of high-impact nonprofits is specifically directed toward those who run or support nonprofit organizations, but its message is broader than that: anyone can be a force for good in the world, and if they access and utilize a few techniques and resources then they can be a BIG force for good in the world. It's in our hands.
Ghandi said "Be the change you want to see in the world." For over three years now I have used this blog (among other things) as a place to try to educate people, to encourage people to think about things from a new perspective, and to be a force for good in the world. Suddenly a concept for a nonprofit organization has been dropped in my lap by circumstance...by coincidence...or, maybe, by God. An idea that had never occurred to me as of three days ago is suddenly consuming many of my thoughts. An opportunity to be a bigger force for good in the world. An opportunity to be an activist in a cause I really really believe in. I am doing my research, and seeking partners for this endeavor, because I'm not naive enough to think that I can do this alone. But the idea just feels so right.
Hubby and I watched a movie tonight. It was a cheesy comedy and I can't really recommend it...except that there was one little thing in it that jumped out at me: the idea of saying yes to opportunities, even intimidating ones. Finding the book + seeing the movie + this recent train of thought + my recent path of trusting and following rather than trying to control things = perhaps I'm supposed to do this?

So I suppose you will want to know, what is this nonprofit I'm thinking about? In the most simple of terms, it would be focused on miscarriage education and (more importantly) support. It would involve a network of doulas to support women though their actual miscarriages as well as postpartum. It would involve counselors (professional or peer) to help parents in their grief. It would have information to help women know what to expect of a miscarriage at various stages, and it would have a place to share stories and photos. The more I think about this idea, the more it excites me. The more I become attached to it.
Just minutes ago I realized that even the date is significant in fact. August 17 was my due date for one of the babies I lost. August 17 was the date I miscarried another baby. And this year on August 17 the cosmos aligned to push me toward something new.

Why I'm NOT a "Big Sister"

I am a big sister of course, given that I have 8 younger siblings...
I am a "big sister" in that I have a personality that leads me to reach out to friends and neighbors and women/girls around me and talk with them and teach them things...
But when I finally began to follow through on my desire to be a Big Sister with the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program, I concluded that this is not the time of my life to do that.
The BBBS coordinator was really excited about me when I applied and even more when she interviewed me. However one of the rules of the program is that the Big spends time alone with the Little--no other kiddos, and that they need to meet in a neutral place (not in either home) for the first six months. I get why they have those rules, but I'm not willing to sacrifice my mothering of my children in order to help another child. I WANT to help other children, but not at the expense of my own. There will always be other children who need Big Sisters (sad though that is), and so for now I am focusing on my kids--only my kids--and someday when my kids are grown up and secure and solid on their own, I will have the time and focus to divert to other kids. But now is not that time.

Delight in service and good works

(continuing with the topics from the RS theme...)

I have always been one who was ready and willing to help others. I enjoy making others happy and helping them out. However, service has two sides--in order for someone to give, someone else has to receive--and I have never been good at receiving. I have a hard time taking a compliment. I have a hard time letting people help me. When Eagle was born my husband stayed home from work for a week so that I could take it easy. It took a great deal of willpower to make myself stay in bed for the first 24 hours, and I had a hard time sitting around for the remainder of the week and letting him make meals and do dishes and laundry. I knew I shouldn't try to be up and doing things, but it was hard for me to let him do things.
This last week I had a good lesson in receiving service. We've had some things come up recently that have caused some stress and worry (financial concerns, a family member in the hospital, etc). I emailed a dear friend of mine--not to ask for anything (because I'm terrible about asking even if I'm in need), but just to have someone to talk to about it all. She emailed back and said "here is my phone card number, please use ALL OF IT and call your grandma in the hospital without worrying about the cost."
My first thought was oh that's sweet, but of course I couldn't...and then I stopped myself. Yes, it is very sweet. But she would not have offered if she hadn't meant it. In the long run it amounts to a few dollars--dollars that I don't really have at the moment and dollars that she does have. But on Sunday evening I spent an hour and a half on the phone with my grandma. (At present her body is unable to do much but her mind is alert so she's really struggling with being stuck in a bed in a boring hospital room, and she said my phone call really brightened her day.)
So thank you to my dear friend for your gift, and for a chance to practice accepting service.

Reconsidering Christmas Gifts

Last year I did daily posts throughout the month prior to Christmas, and while that was really fun for me (and hopefully for you!) I have a newborn this year and don't have that kind of energy! Furthermore, I've said a lot of the profound things I wanted to say!! BUT, I do still have a few topics for thoughtful posts this season, so every week or so I'll be waxing philosophical again.
Enjoy my (holiday) monday musings!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

In the past, Hubby and I have typically set a dollar budget for Christmas (and then typically tried to get as many items as possible within that budget). On the one hand it meant we kept Christmas 'modest' in a monetary sense, which I think is good for moving away from the greed and more toward the giving and Christ-centered holiday that we want to teach our children...on the other hand the whole stress over how much stuff can we get for how little money kinda defeated the point of it all.

So this year we were talking about it and I brought up the idea of only having 3 gifts per person (since the Wise Men brought the Christ Child three gifts). Some people make it more specific where "The gold gift is something they want. The frankincense gift is something they need, like socks. And the myrrh gift is something to nurture their souls." (I've also heard the idea of giving 4 gifts: "something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read.") These ideas felt closer to where we wanted to be, and yet neither was quite what we wanted, because one of the biggest issues is that we want our kids to care about the giving side of Christmas, so we want to encourage/help them to give to the other family members. Then Hubby came up with a brilliant idea!
We have concluded that from here on out each person in the family will get just one gift from each other family member. While the kids are young we will help them pick out gifts for each other person (and we'll subsidize) but as they get older we'll encourage them to think of gifts themselves (we'll still subsidize--within reason!). So for example Bear will get one gift each from dad, mom, Wolf, Santa, and each set of grandparents (not sure if we're gonna have gifts 'from' the baby brother this year, since he'll only be a few weeks old!). BUT, I'll also be helping Bear choose/give gifts to each other family member as well.
In the long run, we figure we'll be spending about the same amount of money, because there will only be one gift from mom, and one from dad (rather than several from us)...things will just have different 'from' labels, and be thought of/chosen by different people rather than all from mom and dad. (Hubby likes to do the Santa thing, so that will still happen...but I'm currently trying to negotiate for Santa gifts to be things that fit inside the stocking, so they will be small...keep the fun and 'magic' of the idea of Santa, but stay away from the greedy side of it. )

Anyway, I'm really excited because it will still keep Christmas spending/greed/stress to a real minimum, but this idea feels like we're going at it from the other direction--it's not about the dollar amount or the number of gifts, but since we each get to pick out just one gift for each other person, each of us is going to end up making it more personal and meaningful, you know? Especially as the kids get older I'm hoping to encourage homemade things or passing along things (like books or toys that they've outgrown). It feels so much better than if we were just trying to pack in the maximum possible bang for our buck.

What Gifts Can YOU Give?

My former roommate Nicole wrote a piece for Women Doing More this last week (I almost said "my old roommate" but she's only 6months older than I am, so I guess I shouldn't call her old!) She talked about non-monetary ways that she and her husband have found to give--through donating blood, hair, and even a kidney. You should go read her article right now--go on, it's not very long.

Did you read it yet?


Get over there now! I'll wait.


It's not that long...



So did you read it now?

Good.

When I read that article it got me thinking about the ways that I am able to give... as you may know, my Hubby is a school teacher. It means that he has a great schedule (summers off!), but it's not a huge paycheck, so I rarely have money that I'm able to give. However there are many things that I can give:

• I make things for people (cloth diapers, baby blankets, hats). This isn't free, but supplies are cheaper than finished products, and since these creative skills are able to bring me an income, I feel that it's appropriate that I should use the same skills to help as well. "Unto whom much is given, much is required"
  
• I teach skills--I've taught friends how to make bread, sew diapers, and sew their own pads. I've posted a few tutorials on my shop blog, and am always willing to show somebody how to do something.
  
• I share knowledge--I hope this blog is educational! I also share recipes and cooking tips on my cooking blog, and I hope they are helpful (and yummy) for some of you too! I tend to offer lots of information when someone asks me a question--it doesn't matter if it took me a long time to acquire all that knowledge for myself, I figure that knowledge is a good thing, and should be shared freely. Who am I to hoard it?
  
• Throughout college I gave blood regularly. I'm no longer able to do this (because Hubby lived in England for 3 years so now we're both on the 'no' list for blood donation because of fear over mad cow disease), but I definitely encourage others to do this simple service--it really does save lives! Actually, if you donate before Feb 28, you can join in the virtual blood drive and be entered to win some pretty cool stuff...but that's not why you're doing it, right?
  
• I do my part to save the world by living a pretty green lifestyle, being a good steward of what I have, and teaching my children (and hopefully others) how to do the same. Never doubt the power of a good example!
  
• And the last one I want to tell about is sharing my breastmilk.

I wrote once about my friend who was not able to lactate. It's a very rare thing, but occasionally it does happen. Her baby was born in November, and mine was born the following January. In the early weeks, as she was struggling to try to get her milk to come in, many friends donated breastmilk to her, but by the time my milk came in she had only one person still sharing milk. I was blessed with an abundant supply of milk, so I started pumping and freezing it. Over the next 7 months I probably gave her a couple of gallons of my milk...not as much as I wish I could have given, but that is a lot of milk that she was able to give her baby which she would not have been able to otherwise. (She used formula to make up the difference, but I've commented before that formula makers are always discovering some new thing to add that breastmilk has had all along, so I'll always maintain my stance that breastmilk is the ideal.) Sharing my milk didn't cost me a thing, and it meant the world to her. (If you don't personally know someone in need, there are milkshare programs that help connect mothers with milk to mothers in need--just search "share breastmilk" or "donate breastmilk".)

So what about you? What non-monetary ways can you give?

In the Middle of a Miracle

God does notice us, and he watches over us.
But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.
~Spencer W Kimball, 1974

This year I had the opportunity to be a part of a miracle.
I had this little scrap of pretty blue fabric with the Star of David on it. It had been tucked away for a couple of years, with the thought that maybe I could make some beanbags or something with it. This year I dug it out and did just that, thinking that beanbags might sell in my etsy shop. I made a little trio of beanbags, took photos, and made the listing...
And then I was reading along in the MDC thread about the Holiday Helpers. I have mentioned before how I like to help with HH. The coordinator mentioned that many people were supplying clothing and gift cards, but they really wanted to try to provide at least one toy for each child on the list, and did anyone have toys they could contribute. I had the immediate urging to ask if there were any Jewish families in need. Why yes, family #63 was Jewish. So I went and read their profile. They have a toddler who is just a few months younger than Bear, and they actually had beanbags specifically on their list of hoped-for items!

Only one family (of over 200) was Jewish.

Only one family had beanbags on their list.

It was the same family.

And I had a trio of perfect Chanukah beanbags sitting in a box under my sewing desk.

I had sewn a set of beanbags with the thought that they might earn me a little money. I didn't know at the time that God was going to use me to bless a family in need. When I learned the truth, I was overwhelmed. Truly, God's tender mercies made a little miracle for this family, and I was just blessed enough to get to be in the middle of it.

Share the Love

I believe strongly in serving others. I've been on the receiving end before, and I feel it is incumbent on me to continually pay it forward in whatever way I can. We are blessed when we serve, and as my sister pointed out
"I'm poor, so I can't afford not to serve!"

So today I'm sharing information about a few groups that I think are worth supporting:

Help locally
A lot of folks help in soup kitchens, give to toy drives, or donate to angel trees. Those are all great ways to serve! Remember that if you don't have money, you can still give goods or time!

Give to your church charities
Many churches have programs for giving to the needy. If you don't have one already, I recommend checking out my church's humanitarian projects here. We have a lay ministry and lay missionaries who do the work, so everything goes to the needy. My grandparents worked as volunteer missionaries in the humanitarian services distribution center for 18 months, and have some awesome stories to tell; My parents-in-law are currently in China working with a wheelchair distribution program.

Heifer International
This group gives farm animals (chickens, sheep, cows, llamas, goats, rabbits, and even water buffalo!) to people in need all over the world, to help them afford to support themselves. You can donate as little as $20 for a dozen chicks, ducks, or geese, all the way up to $5000 for a "Gift Arc" of 15 animal pairs. You can get some fun combinations such as the "Knitting Basket" (two sheep and two llamas) or a bundle of tree saplings. The full list of donation packages is here.

Holiday Helpers
I've already mentioned them once this year, but I just had to again. I love that this is 100% volunteer--there is no overhead, everything goes to the families in need. There is even a cool raffle you can enter for $1/ticket. Give to those in need, and maybe win some presents for yourself! (New things have been added since I last mentioned it, so even if you looked then, you might want to look again.)


If you have other great charities you like to support, I would love to hear about them!