And I used to do this too

♥ ☺

The Na-na is Sleeping

I'm weaning Eagle. He'll be 2 next month and I'm ready for it. We've dealt with chronic thrush on and off for nearly a year (I nearly weaned him a couple of times) and I think we may just be giving it back and forth to each other. I need to start sleeping through the night and he's old enough to do so too.

I was going to wean him in conjunction with our move--I did that with Bear and it worked quite well. But it was not working well for Eagle. Perhaps it was because he was 6 months younger than Bear had been, and perhaps it was because this was a much higher stress transition, but he seemed to really need the comfort and attachment (and I did not have the energy to stick to non-nursing comfort measures) so that fell through.
I still wanted to wean him around his birthday, but wasn't sure how best to go about it.

Then I came across the book Nursies When the Sun Shines, which was written by a mama who was nightweaning her toddler. Basically she explained to her daughter that the nursies (or, as Eagle calls it, "na-na") goes to sleep when the sun goes to sleep. She used this method for nightweaning, but as soon as I saw it I realized that it would help us for full weaning.
Because we live in the arctic! So by late november or early december we won't have any real daylight at all. The sun will sleep 24/7. (Technically at solstice we have two hours between sunrise and sunset, but it doesn't amount to much light.) Following the light and dark seems better than picking an arbitrary day (like his birthday) and going cold turkey then.

So we've been going on a couple of weeks now, We started just after equinox, with nearly equal parts light and dark. We change by 7-8 minutes per day. On Sep 30 (the first day), sunrise was just before 9am and sunset was just after 8pm. Today sunrise is 9:45 and sunset at 7:30 (you can see a full calendar of the times here if you're curious). The first week we mostly focused on not nursing at night. Some nights went better than others, but he's adjusted pretty well, especially because he knows that he can still have na-na in the daytime. It's simple to just point to the window and show him that it's dark, and he'll cuddle up and accept it. He has been nursing more during the day, but I expected that. This last week we've been cutting out the bedtime nursing, as it's getting dark right about bedtime and if we're running late or he's not feeling sleepy then he may get pre-bedtime na-na, but it's gone to sleep before he does, so he can't nurse to sleep. We have had a couple of late nights and more than a few tears, but I know they are only tears of frustration (he's held and cuddled and has a water bottle and so on) and he is learning to go back to sleep without nursing.

I definitely feel better about doing this gradually and with a toddler than I would with a younger child. I still hold to all my reasons for extended breastfeeding, and I'm glad we stuck it out in spite of teeth and thrush and all the rest. Sometimes I feel guilty for pushing my kids to wean when they still love nursing, but I know that by age 2 their need for it changes to a want. And after two years my want for sleeping through the night I think validly becomes a need (especially with grad school and all those kids I babysit!). He's not a baby anymore, he'll be alright.

It can't be thrush if you don't have the right symptoms, right?

We've got thrush (also known as a yeast infection of the mother's breast/baby's mouth).
We don't look like we've got it, and so we didn't figure it out for a long time.
But we do have it.
I'm writing today in the hopes that maybe someone else will read this and be able to spare themselves six months of pain by correctly diagnosing their own thrush MUCH faster than we did!

I was pretty sure we got our first case of yeast late last December. It seemed logical to me to have a sugar overgrowth during Christmas cookie season, and then my breasts got sore and nursing started to hurt. Around the first of the year I did a several day intensive no-sugar-or-yeast-in-any-form diet, and it cleared up. Problem solved!

Then in early March or so I started having shooting pain when we nursed, and thought it might be thrush, but I didn't have the classic symptoms (redness or itching), and when I tried a nipple cream (for the pain) it improved within hours. So my local *IBCLC and I concluded that perhaps it had just been chapped nipples. It can't be thrush if you don't have the symptoms, right?

*(international board certified lactation consultant)

But it is back. A few days ago, literally overnight, we went from normal to nursing pain so intense that I was considering forcing Eagle to wean cold-turkey that day. When he latched on it felt like dozens of needles or knives were stabbing into me, fire radiating out from the nipple and up through my breast. It continued and only increased during the nursing, and when he was done it hurt to put my bra back on. I refused him the breast most of the day because it hurt so much.
But it can't be thrush if you don't have the right symptoms, right?
After putting Eagle to bed that night I happened to be chatting online with a friend of mine who lives in another state. I had forgotten that she is an IBCLC, but when I mentioned the pain she said "that sounds like yeast." I explained that I used to think so to but then the situation in March had left me with the conclusion that no, it wasn't yeast because my symptoms were wrong. I suspected that the pain was a combination of chapped nipples and Eagle getting 6 new teeth in the last month. She asked me what my symptoms were.  I told her. She told me that she would bet money that it was yeast. Apparently she had had a similar non-typical-symptomatic case of thrush, and it took 6 months for her lactation consultant to figure out what it was. That's part of why she decided to become an IBCLC herself. She sent me to a couple of websites with more comprehensive lists of yeast/thrush symptoms (especially Dr Jack Newman's page here), and it was eye-opening.

Here is an excerpt from another breastfeeding site:

Symptoms in the mother include severe stinging, burning pain, which may be on the surface of the nipples, or may be felt deep inside the breast. Pain often continues throughout the feeding and in between feedings - especially immediately after. (Nipple pain caused by incorrect positioning and latch on rarely hurts except when the baby is nursing). Sometimes sharp, shooting pain radiates from the nipple into the breast or into the back or arm. Nipples are sensitive to light touch, so it may hurt to have clothes rubbing against them, and it may be very painful to take a shower and have the hot water spray touch the breast. Mothers describe the pain as 'liquid fire', 'hot needles', 'razor blades', 'a piece of glass stuck in my nipple', etc. I've heard many mothers say that they would rather go through labor again than have yeast on their nipples or in their milk ducts, which gives you an idea of just how painful this condition is.

So I concluded that we definitely have yeast. I started doing some things at home, but also made an appointment to go in to the doctor to get nystatin. Nystatin is an anti-fungal, and designed specifically to be safe to ingest. Gentian violet is a common "natural" treatment for thrush, but it is NOT supposed to be ingested, and since we're dealing with the inside of my baby's mouth...well, I felt like I'd like to get some nystatin. So we went to the doctor. She looked in his mouth and said nope, he doesn't have thrush. He does have some markings on his tongue, but apparently that is just a geographic tongue, which is not the same. (As an interesting note, though, now that I'm reading up on geographic tongue, though it is considered benign, it can be overcome by doing basically the same things as you do to treat yeast...)

The nipples may look puffy, scaly, flaky, weepy, or have tiny blisters. They may be itchy. The color is often a deep pink. The nipples may also look completely normal, but be terribly painful (just as the baby's mouth may be infected, but not have white patches). Generally, the nipples don't "look as bad as they feel', so there is often a tendency to underestimate the severity of the problem based simply on visual examination of the nipples. If you have yeast on your nipples, or if your baby has it in his mouth, your milk supply will often decrease. Pain inhibits the let-down reflex, and babies with yeast often do not nurse as efficiently as they do when their mouths are not sore. Yeast infections may also lead to plugged duct and mastitis.

Oh, wait, supply may decrease? Hmm, so perhaps this is why a few months ago (maybe around December?!) Eagle started nursing twice as often as he previously had?
And the baby (and mom) can have thrush without anything visible on the mouth/nipple? So, in other words, if our symptoms show it, we SHOULD be treating it, even if the doctor says we don't have it.


In any case, it seems are are left with treating this entirely on our own. So here is what we are doing, in case you want to know:

• Treat both mom's nipples and baby's mouth, even if only one (or neither) of you has visible symptoms. Any topical treatments will probably get to both of you anyway.
• Probiotics. I am taking 50 billion (no, that's not a typo) at least 50 billion organisms of probiotics per day. The best probiotics are the ones that have to be refrigerated, but if you can't find that then find something with multiple kinds of bacilli in it, and that has a high enough dosage. 
• Coconut oil. Eat several Tbs a day if you can (be careful, too much will give you the runs...but at least a couple Tbs a day!) Also use it externally on your nipples.
• Stop eating sugar, especially refined sugar. You can allow yourself minimal amounts of natural sugar (in fruit, for example) but try to stick with lower-sugar content foods even there. Here is a list with the sugar content of some common fruits.
• Get some ultraviolet rays on your affected parts. You could go tanning, or you could sunbathe topless. At the very least, try some topless nursing next to a big open window. Bring a book and stay a while. (Lucky for me, I live on the second story, and none of my nearby neighbors have second stories, so I can get away with this!)
• Gentian violet, as I mentioned, is commonly recommended as a treatment for thrush. It is an anti-viral, and I have been using it, but I am doing so with care. I followed Dr Jack Newman's guide for how to put it on (great advice about putting olive oil on the baby's face first!) but due to the risks about ingesting it, I put it on AFTER the baby nurses rather than before, or I put it on and let it dry completely (at least several minutes) before he nurses. That way I am minimizing any ingestion. Also, as a note, if you use GV, be sure to use nursing pads and/or an old bra--I did both and still got purple stains on my bra. I also laid an old blanket in my baby's bed before putting him down, so any drool or dribbles would be on the old blanket rather than a nice one--and I'm very glad I did so!
• Grapefruit Seed Extract (not grape seed extract!!) I have not tried this yet (I'm going shopping to look for it this afternoon), but I've heard other mothers swear by it. Dr Jay Gordon has a page explaining why he recommends this over other treatments, and also how to use it.
• I have been making daily smoothies, with my 5Tbs of liquid probiotics, 2 Tbs of coconut oil, half a banana, 4-5 frozen strawberries, and a little milk to smooth it out.  Last night we made a batch of unflavored/unsweetened yogurt so today I'll use that instead of the banana. The coconut oil clumps up a bit when it's that cold, so you have to let it mix in the blender for about a whole minute. It's pretty good!

This page http://www.kellymom.com/bf/concerns/thrush/thrush-resources.html has links to just about anything and everything you might need or want to know about thrush (including most of what I've linked in this post).

A "Crunchy" Mama

(I started this post a looong time ago, then I got morning sick, then I didn't get around to finishing it...but I still wanted to post it so here goes!)


So, I labeled myself as a crunchy mama, then Jenn over at BabyMakinMachine asked me what it meant, so I tried to explain, and it led to her writing this post in which she pondered crunchiness and whether it was for her. That post then led to nearly 50 comments (most of them lengthy and some of them quite heated)... and I concluded that I was gonna just lay it all out.
I think Jenn put it quite fairly when she suggested that perhaps there's a middle level, somewhere between 'crunchy' and 'soggy' (or mainstream) which might be called 'chewy.' I find myself chewy in a number of things, because I'm not nearly so far off the beaten path as many of my uber-crunchy friends. On the other hand, I'm pretty far off the beaten path!

My reasons for being crunchy (or chewy) come from one main thing, and that is that I believe in questioning the status quo, and doing my own research about things, so that I can make my own decisions about what is best for me and my family. Again and again I discover that mainstream practices were born of the greedy side of capitalism (not that capitalism is evil in and of itself, but the associated greediness certainly is...) and that the things that really seem best are falling into this category called "crunchy." Here are my few basic tenets:

1. I believe in not messing with the way God made things.
2. I believe that Godmade is better than manmade, and should be utilized if available.
3. I believe in avoiding unnecessary interventions/chemicals
4. I believe in respecting people and the Earth.
5. I believe in logic
6. I believe in making things cheap, easy, and comfortable unless there's a good reason not to (you got it folks, I'm lazy!).

So what does this mean?

I believe in not messing with the way God made things

• My body gives me signs every month of what is going on with my fertility, so I observe them and take notes rather than trying to control or change them.
• My body makes milk for my baby, therefore, I should give it to the baby.
• God made baby boys with foreskins. End of discussion.
• If you're gonna drink cow milk (which is actually made for baby cows you know), then at least drink it whole, or even raw. Its vitamins are fat-soluable, so if you want the nutritive benefits of it, you'd better be getting the fat with it. Oh, and the low/no-fat versions have petroleum in them, just FYI.
• God made some people women, and some people men, and then He gave them each bodies built to fulfill certain roles, therefore I birth and nurture children and keep our home, while my husband provides for and protects our family.

I believe that Godmade is better than manmade

• So infant formula is only for emergencies, not for the average baby.
• Food out of the dirt or off a tree = good, food out of a box = not so good.
• If there's an herb that fits the bill, then I don't want some chemically formulated pill. Ideally I'd like nothing at all.
• I think HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) is bad news...I'm trying to restrict it in our diet, though I doubt we'll manage to remove it entirely.
• Partially hydrogenated anything = evil
• I believe in butter. Margarine is the devil (also it tastes like BLECH).
• I've recently found that I vastly prefer natural fibers (cotton, wool, hemp, bamboo) over almost all of the synthetics. Especially now that Eagle seems to break out when he wears synthetics.
• I don't typically wear makeup--I wear the face God gave me.

I believe in avoiding unnecessary interventions and chemicals

• The vast majority of women's bodies can give birth without intervention, so they should be allowed to do so.
• If my child is exploring, I don't get in the way unless injury is imminent.
• If (older) kids disagree, I try to help them work it out, rather than stepping in and taking over.
• I think that antibiotics are making superbugs, so I don't use antibacterial soaps or products in my home, and would not seek (or take) a prescription for an antibiotic unless there were a good reason for it (such as post-surgery).
• I don't wear makeup (most of it is toxic to some degree)
• I don't use scented soaps/lotions/shampoos/detergents.

I believe in respecting people...

• I try to boycott companies that treat their employees badly (such as Walmart)
• My children do not call adults by their first names. If an adult is more than a few years older than myself *I* usually do not call them by their first name.
• I think it's offensive to do cosmetic surgery on an infant boy's private parts without his permission.
• I follow my infant's schedule, rather than demanding that he follow mine.
• I don't let a small infant cry. I don't let an older child cry for long.
• I try to be gentle and respectful in my parenting.
• I try to take care of myself by eating (relatively) well and dressing modestly
• If I can tell that my infant needs to poop, I often remove his diaper and hold him over the toilet. There's no reason to force him to sit in his own waste for even a moment if I can help it.

...and respecting the earth

• I try to support local farmers, and sustainable farming practices
• I recycle
• I buy second-hand if I can
• I re-use or re-purpose things because I don't throwing away good fabric/wood/etc
• I try to be minimalist
• I try to stock my kitchen (and my kids' toyboxes) with things that will last--things made from wood, metal, or glass.
• I use recycled packaging when I mail things
• I use cloth diapers, wipes, rags, etc. (I do use cloth pads, but this was a very secondary reason for it--the primary reason is below)

I believe in logic

• I make milk + baby is hungry = give the kid a boob!
• I need sleep + baby needs sleep + baby needs to eat during the night = let's all sleep in the same place
• Babies like to be held + mommy needs to get stuff done = babywearing
• Children learn by example, therefore I should be gentle with them if I want them to learn to be gentle with me or anyone else.
• I see the sense in some vaccines (though not all) but I also see the dangers...so the ones we get we get on a spread-out schedule.

I'm lazy, frugal, and like my comforts

• I use cloth pads and cloth diapers because fabric is more comfortable than plastic on tender parts.
• babywearing is cheaper and easier than strollers and carriers (and doesn't require smooth sidewalks, of which we have precious few here!)
• I re-use or re-purpose things because I don't want to spend the money to buy new ones.
• I don't wear makeup--I've got the face I've got and if you don't like it then don't look, I'm not going to paint it for anybody.

I'm sure there are other things, but this is what comes to mind off the top of my head. ☺

Come back tomorrow and hear about my "soggy side"

What I ♥ about Breastfeeding

• It releases oxytocin which helps the uterus clamp down after birth, drastically reducing the likelihood of postpartum hemorrhage.
• Oxytocin is the 'love' hormone--it helps facilitate the bond between mother and child, as well as making her feel warm fuzzies.
• That it's convenient--always available, never left behind, always the right temperature, always enough.
• It's ready right now, no making a hungry baby wait.
• It's FREE!
• It's easy at night. 
• Breastfed babies don't have nasty or stinky diapers.
• That it's the perfect nourishment for a child. 
• The supply adjusts to the baby's suckling--so I have more when he's in a growth spurt, and less when he's not, and I don't have to try to figure out which phase we're in because it happens automatically.
• That the nutrients adjust to the needs of my child as he grows and changes. 
• That it bolsters the baby's immune system by sharing my antibodies.
• That it delays the resumption of my menstruation.
• It lowers my risk of breast cancer.
• It lowers my childrens' risk of breast cancer and other cancers, including leukemia.
• That 'nursing' is so much more than just feeding my child at my breast--it is developing a relationship of attachment and love.

Eagle at about a week old
See his little hand holding on? 
Even then he knew what the good stuff was!

You might also enjoy TopHat's "Top Ten Cool Things about Breastmilk"

Why I Nurse in Public

Since posting about my breastfeeding in church dilemma, I have been thinking a great deal about why I nurse in public, and about why I have always done so without a cover.

I nurse in public because I believe strongly that breastfeeding needs to be normal, and therefore needs to be accepted. I want to nurse in places where people will see me doing so, and will know what I am doing. I strongly believe in normalizing breastfeeding, and also in the good that I can do by being an example to other mothers and future mothers--and their husbands and sons.

With that said, I am a pretty modest person. I have never wanted to be flashing breast at anybody. I have always tried to keep my skin to myself when nursing in public, and used walls, layered clothing, and the baby's body as shields. I have used the tail of my sling a few times too. The reason I nurse without a blanket is that blankets are a hassle--they are heavy, stifling, and slip off.
On this topic, my dad shared this thought:
"I was always taught that modesty, and manners, are the art of making the next person comfortable. If the crowd is comfortable naked, then I guess naked is modest. But the principle is probably to do what the leaves the best taste in the audience's mouth, unless it contravenes God's commandments, and then to follow God."
 There is nothing like a blanket over your shoulder to shout "hey everybody, I'm nursing over here!" So in the interest of modesty (of not attracting undue attention), I felt that uncovered nursing was my best option.

I am now finding that perhaps my 'no cover' standard is in need of review. Bear loved nursing, held on with gusto, and was easy to nurse without much ongoing attention from me. I could get him latched on and then arrange my clothing so that nothing really showed. Eagle, on the other hand, is somewhat of a 'lazy' nurser--which is to say that he often loosens his latch on me, causing him to slip out to the end of the nipple. Sometimes he lets go altogether which generally results in a wild spray of milk in his face and/or down my shirt and/or across the room. Often he is distracted and tries to look around, sometimes he just seems bored with nursing. Regardless, I can't just hook him on and go, I usually need to make frequent re-adjustments, which requires me to use both hands and be able to see what I am doing. Even if I'd started with a blanket, and even if I tried really hard to pull it back into place regularly, it is quite inevitable that I'd still be flashing people. But even when I stick to my old standard--wearing layers and nursing without a blanket--I am finding that I'm not able to be so modest as I'd like to be.

So I am seriously considering purchasing a nursing cover. I am realizing that it fulfills both my goals--being very public about nursing, and keeping my skin to myself. Yes, it is one more thing to carry around, but who are we kidding, I already carry a diaper bag pretty much everywhere anyway. And as one of my always-used-to-nurse-uncovered-but-recently-converted-to-covers friends pointed out "I don't have to worry about pulling the whole breast out while I nurse...I use my cover now because it is convenient for ME. It is cool, covers me like a tent, and lets me nurse while enjoying sacrament and letting my baby get a nice little break. My stress level is lower. I can wear a wider variety of clothing. I don't have to layer as much. And, if I forget it, no big deal. I whip the boob out and no one is surprised."
There are several etsians who make nice covers with a stiff bit of boning around the top so that it stands out, allowing mom to see the baby while still keeping everybody covered. Sure, I could make something like that, but I'd have to buy special materials for it, so I'd just as soon get it from someone else.

<--- I kinda like this one. Nothing like a camo nursing cover to say "you can't see me, but you know I'm nursing over here!"

What do you think?



Dad did conclude with the comment "I guess you need to cover up, or move to Latin America or Eastern Europe, where folks are either more enlightened, or less inhibited."
Who's up for Norway?☺ heeheehee

Dilemma

I believe that everyone has a right to eat the food that is best for them.
I believe that everyone has a right to eat without having to hide the fact that they are doing so.
Therefore, I breastfeed my baby and I don't put a blanket over his head. Blankets are hot and stuffy, and frankly Eagle is still young enough that I frequently need to see him so that I can adjust his latch on my breast (he likes to slide off halfway which leaves him improperly latched and can cause problems for both of us if I leave him that way).
I do make an effort to be discreet when I nurse in public--I typically dress in layers so that I can get out what I need without exposing anything extra. The baby's head and body usually cover most of my exposed parts from any perspective except mine. It's true that I may show a little more skin than I mean to while adjusting the baby or something, but it's not intentional. I really don't want to flash anybody, and as I said, I am trying to be as discreet as I can.

In addition, for those who do see a bit of something, well, I think it is healthy for people (especially young people) to see that a breast's primary purpose is to nourish children. The media is full of breasts, but rarely in as appropriate a context as breastfeeding. A relative once expressed to us that she was uncomfortable about my breastfeeding when her teenage son was in the room, and Hubby looked her in the eye and said "you let him go to PG-13 movies with his friends, trust me he's seen a lot more breast than this, and in less appropriate contexts."
It reminds me of this (double-click to see it larger):

(From Sunstone Magazine, Oct 2007 issue)

Well, a couple of weeks ago I got a phone call from a woman in my ward. She is a friend of mine, and someone whom I respect very much. Apparently some men and/or young men had expressed discomfort about my nursing in Sacrament Meeting. I don't know quite what channels the discussion had gone through (although I suspect that half the ward knows), but the Bishop had made a request (which was assigned to my friend to deliver) that I be given this message from him: "Breastfeeding is a great thing, my wife did it with all our kids, and we certainly don't mind your nursing in church. But some people are uncomfortable with it so could you please use a blanket." My friend went on to state that she was just the messenger, and that she wasn't going to tell me what I should or shouldn't do (she's quite pro-breastfeeding herself), but that she'd been asked to deliver the message and so was doing so.
My first thought was when is anyone seeing enough to be uncomfortable about?! But then it occurred to me that I typically sit on the outside edge of the pew (so that I can step out easily to change diapers etc). If I'm nursing during the administration of the sacrament (which I often have been, because it keeps the baby quiet) then the man/young man who brings the tray to our pew would be standing next to/over me and be privvy to my perspective of the nursing babe...ok, yes, I can see that that could make someone uncomfortable.
So now I have this dilemma.
On the one hand, I firmly believe in nursing in public, and I prefer to do it without a blanket or cover, for all the reasons explained above. I know that Alaskan law excludes nursing mothers from public indecency statutes. On the other hand, my leader has asked me to do something, and I have covenanted to sustain my leaders. He is not being obnoxioius either, he is trying to find a gentle way to resolve everyones concerns in the matter.

So Hubby and I discussed my options.
There is a room where mothers can go to change diapers and nurse their babies, however there is no speaker hooked up to that room, and I want to be able to hear the meeting. Bear nursed frequently but briefly, but Eagle likes to tank up for 30-40 minutes, so if I were to go out with him I would miss half the meeting. There is a classroom that has a speaker hooked up, but it is on the far side of the building (ie--one has to walk through the chapel to get from one room to the other), and there is nowhere to change a baby over there. If they would provide both a speaker and a changing space on the same side of the building I would be much more inclined to utilize them. (I shared this with the woman who initially called me, and she said that was a very good point and she passed the information back up to the leadership, so hopefully they will install a fold-away changing table on the other side or something, but thus far all they've done is make an announcement in church that the room over there has a speaker and that young mothers are welcome to utilize the room in caring for their little ones.)
A second reason why I do not want to leave the chapel is actually far bigger--it means leaving Hubby alone with the other boys. It's not that he can't handle two kids in church, but we are both able to get more out of the meeting when we tag-team on the parenting. And as I said, when nursing Eagle, it's not like I would just be gone for a few minutes.
I could pump milk and bring a bottle to use for feeding Eagle during the meeting. In a way that seems the simplest solution...but what if I don't bring enough? Then we are back where we started anyway! I don't have any problem with teaching my child to take a bottle, but if I use a bottle in church solely because someone felt uncomfortable about breastfeeding, then it seems counter-productive in the whole goal of normalizing breastfeeding and the primary purpose of breasts.
A final option--and the one we've decided to go with for now--is that I will continue to breastfeed in church (without a blanket) but that I will sit next to the wall. If I'm against the wall then I'll automatically be more discreet because there won't be anyone standing over me at the edge of the pew. If (as yesterday) there are no side pews available when we arrive at church, then I will probably step out.

Breastfeeding among Great Apes

Mother chimpanzee with baby
Originally uploaded by Frenzy McKenzie

I just read a fascinating post about great apes and when they wean.

Of course there is variation between the species, but they all nurse until at least 3 years, and some routinely nurse until 5 or 6 or even 7. Their biological development is similar to ours (how and how long it takes the brain to develop for example), so then logically humans' "natural" weaning time is probably in a similar time frame.
I'm not saying that we all need to nurse our kids until they start kindergarten, but I do think the oft-preached practice of weaning at 12 months does a great disservice to the average child (and mother). My plan was always for 2 years. I nursed Bear several months longer than that because he wanted it, but weaned him at about 2 1/2. At 12 months old he was actually still consuming more breastmilk than solid foods--it would have been hard on both of us to make him give up his primary source of nutrition. Besides which, the older a child is when he is introduced to a new food, the less likely it is that he will have an allergic reaction to it.
Eagle I will nurse until we reach some mutually agreeable age--it will probably be around 2 as well. There is a huge difference in the maturity of a child between age 1 and age 2, both physically and emotionally. So that is why I continue to believe in extended breastfeeding.

And it came to pass...

1. ... that on the twelfth day of the eleventh month the woman did bring forth a son.
2. And she did bring him to her breast, and he did suckle.
3. On the third day her milk did come in, and she was full unto leaking, and the child did nurse and was glad.
4. And the mother was full, and did pump, and leak, and nurse, and leak, and nurse, and leak again.
5. And the child did grow ten ounces in eleven days.
6. And the mother was glad for good bras and washable nursing pads and olive oil and water bottles and the smell of the baby's milk breath.
7. And at four weeks of age the child was found to weigh two pounds and one ounce more than at the time of his birth.
8. And thus we see that mama milk is not nearly so thin as it appeareth!

(yeah, still got that hand by his head...all the time!)

Weaning the Bear

I wanted to wait until we'd actually finished our weaning process, and then give it a little time to see how things went for the next few weeks as well...but I promised I'd report on how weaning went so here it is. ☺

I mentioned at the time that I did not make the decision to wean hastily. I had already been working on night-weaning (on and off) for several months, and I took the time to talk with other mothers who had weaned children of this age, as well as with mothers who had tandem nursed toddlers and newborns. It was around the first of May that I made the firm decision to wean.

Here is what we did:

PHASE ONE
We chose a date near the end of the month (the day we were leaving on the ferry) and started prepping him for it. "You are a very big boy, and I know you love nursing, but you don't need it." "When we drive the car onto the big boat and go away on the big boat then we won't have nanu anymore."
I cut out all nursing except naptime and bedtime. We had mostly done this previously, but for the times when he did ask, I worked on distracting him--offering him other food or drinks, finding a toy, etc.
Next, I cut the nap and bedtime nursing sessions to 5 minutes. Yes, I watched on my watch. I told him that we could just have a little bit of nanu, and I gave him a "one minute warning" as we were getting to the end. We did this for about a week. In the meantime I became a stickler about the night-weaning...as I said we'd worked on it before, but I started wearing a bra to bed again so he couldn't nurse without waking me--and it worked to help me wake up enough to remember that I'd rather hold a sad baby for a little while than have him keep nursing...
It was in the first couple of days of this phase that I did have some engorgement (ie, being full of milk because he wasn't nursing it out) but that was one day of discomfort and then my body adjusted to the lowered production.
As we cut back on the nursing, we made sure that other things were part of the bedtime routine--brushing teeth, saying prayers, a story, a song, some snuggles...I'd been doing this somewhat before, but I was more diligent about it as I started really focusing on cutting out the nursing.
This all lasted for about a week.

PHASE TWO
I cut the bed/naptime nursing to 2 minutes (again, by my watch) and did that for about another week...maybe 4-5 days.
We also concluded night-weaning in this phase.
I did notice at this point that as I nursed him less, I became less tolerant of it as well. Tender breasts has always been a pregnancy symptom of mine and I had feared that it might affect him nursing, but in the early months I rarely noticed tenderness when he nursed. As my body got less familiar with the sensation though, it got more sensitive to it I guess. So as I shortened the nursing times I told him--very honestly--that the nurns hurt and we could only nurse for a very short time. He was not excited about this, but was concerned about my pain (he kissed the nurns a few times) and didn't really complain about the changes.
I did notice this week that his appetite really increased. I'd noticed it a little before, but especially with the night-weaning finalized he started eating really big breakfasts (I guess he'd been nursing more in the night than I'd realized!)

PHASE THREE
I stopped the naptime nursings--I cheated a lot by putting him to bed with movies this week, but hey, it worked. I also cut the bedtime nursing to 1 minute by the clock. He often would tell me that he wanted some more, or that he "needed da nanu." I told him that the nanu hurt, and that I knew he loved it, but he didn't need it. Then I'd cuddle him and sing to him all the more.
Again, 4-5 days for this phase.

By the time we reached Weaning Day, he was not nursing anytime except bedtime, and then only for (literally) a minute. He usually needed snuggles for quite a while to get to sleep, but he was not nursing, which was the goal. He had gone to sleep for several naps (and even a couple of bedtimes) without nursing and even without mommy--usually thanks to movies but sometimes with daddy cuddles instead.
The ferry departed Pelican around 4pm, and it arrived in Juneau late, so I wanted to be sure that Bear had a good nap. Knowing that we would not have night-nursing that night, I did nurse him down for that nap. Being the last time, I let him nurse as long as he wanted (he only nursed about 10 minutes before he conked out).

AFTERWARDS
For the first couple of weeks he frequently asked to "just hold dem," which I allowed if we were cuddled in the bed, and he periodically tried to sneak little sucks when he thought I wasn't looking, which I did not allow. Ironically it was 4 days after W-Day that he woke up in the middle of the night barfing, and so I allowed him to nurse again a bit that night because I know that nothing is as good for a sick tummy as some good mama milk. By morning though he was ok and we resumed our weaned status.
After about a month I started discouraging the "holding dem" thing even in bed. He became quite the master of sneaking a hand into my shirt to hold them anyway, and expressed annoyance and frustration when I pulled his hand back out. I started taking preventative measures (mostly just putting my hand in the way) to ensure that he wouldn't reach in for them anymore.

So where are we now? He's not nursing, my milk finally dried up (it took a month or so), and he only tries to reach into my shirt occasionally. He doesn't talk to me about the act of nursing, although he does talk about "da nurns" in reference to the anatomical parts. In the tub he pointed out his own nurns and was thoroughly amused by them. Since little brother will be coming in only about 3 months, I'm going to start occasionally mentioning that babies nurse...we continue to celebrate how big Bear is, so I don't think he'll confuse himself with the baby in that regard, and I hope he won't be jealous, but who knows. I guess we shall just have to see!

Why "Extended" Breastfeeding?

Extended Breastfeeding: breastfeeding a child beyond 12 months after birth.


Recently a friend from college found out that I'm weaning Bear at 27 months, and she said "wow, you're more dedicated than I am. I'll go to 12 months but then I am DONE!" Now I don't think she's a bad parent, but her particular choice of words got me thinking. Dedicated? Um, if I wasn't willing to be dedicated to my children, then why would I have them? Seriously, if you want a pet, get a dog or a cat. If you want a child, you'd better plan on being dedicated. Is that such a strange notion?!

But that's not really the point of this post. The point of this post is that nursing beyond 12 months is not about dedication, it's about practicality, simplicity, and health for both me and the baby. Consider these facts:

• Human milk is the perfect food for little humans--as much so on the day after their first birthday as it was on the day before it. (In regards to physical maturation, what is a birthday but an arbitrary date anyway?!)
  
• For every year that a woman breastfeeds, she lowers her own risk of breast cancer.
• For as long as a child breastfeeds, they get the benefits of mom's immune system. Considering that kids are at the peak of their exploratory phase (and still putting everything in their mouths) at age 1, it seems logical to continue giving them that extra protection through that stage.
• Nursing provides a great way to re-connect with a toddler who is in that busybody exploratory stage...they may be walking and running, but they are still not very old, and every mother I have talked to agrees that their nursing toddlers benefit from continuing that special one-on-one mommy time.
  
• Nothing calms a tantrum like nursing.
• Many mothers find the nursing time a calming break in their daily routine.
  
• Many 1 year olds do not have many teeth yet, or are not interested in many solid foods, but continued nursing ensures that their nutrition does not suffer. (Bear had only one molar at that age--so obviously he couldn't chew much, and could only eat limited foods--knowing that he could still get all the nutrients he needed from me was a great comfort.)
• Nursing longer means that you can wait longer to introduce common allergins (like cow milk). The longer you wait, the less likely the child is to have a severe response to those foods.
  
• Breastfeeding is really really convenient for traveling with a toddler (especially one who still has a limited diet). No matter where you are, you can bust out a breast--no need to pack snacks, worry about dehydration, or stress about whether appropriate foods will be available for your child.
  
• When they do get sick, and won't eat anything, the average toddler will still nurse--so they can continue to get the nutrition (and immunilogical boost) that they need.
• Primary brain myelination is not complete until age 2 (myelin is a sheath of fat that covers the neurons, allowing them to move faster--something like greasing them. The high fat content of mother's milk (which greatly exceeds even 'whole' cow's milk) contributes greatly to this process. Incomplete or improper myelination = slower brain function. In other words, nursing longer may make your kids smarter (actually, research suggests that it does).
  
• Breastfeeding on demand (ie, when the child wants it, rather than on a schedule) usually causes lactational amenorrhea, or the lack of ovulation, for an average of 14 months. Depending on your child spacing plans, this can be a very convenient form of birth control. (Please note that 14 months is an average; I was infertile for 20 months, but I've had friends who were fertile again in under 6.)
  
• The worldwide average age for weaning is around 4. I happen to feel comfortable with weaning anytime after 2, but I know many mothers (yes, in the USA) who are nursing their toddlers until 3 or 4. It may not be something that is seen very often in public, but that doesn't mean it's a bad idea.
• (if you have others please comment and I'll add them, this is just what came to me off the top of my head!)
  

Obviously not every mother can nurse beyond a year. Some struggle with supply issues, some have health problems. And some mothers, for whatever reason, struggle emotionally with continuing to breastfeed. As I have said before (and will continue to say!) a healthy relationship means that it is working for both parties involved. If mom is resenting nursing, then it's not a healthy relationship...I would encourage her to consider why she is resenting it, as well as whether her child still seems to really need it, and whether there might be alternatives (ie, will it be detrimental to the child to wean? Is she just tired of nursing, or is it affecting her health or sleep patterns? Would cutting back/night weaning solve the issue?). Personally, I think mom should do her best to stick it out, no matter the challenges, until the child is 12 months. Ideally, I think children should be nursed until 24 months, and longer if mother and child desire it...but like I said, each mother needs to make her own decision. I just wanted to share my reasons for choosing extended breastfeeding...which, by the way, I don't think is very extended at all...I wish nursing till 2 were a whole lot more normal.


And because I know it's bound to come up, yes, there are potential cons to extended breastfeeding. Toddlers don't like to let mommy be discreet. Toddlers may prefer nursing over table food and refuse to eat many solids. Obviously things can become complicated if mother becomes pregnant and/or is tandem nursing a toddler and a newborn. I thought about a lot of these things when making my decision about how to proceed with Bear. The simple truth is that I feel that the pros far outweigh the cons, at least with nursing until 2. Now that he is past 2, I think the scales have shifted a bit, and given the other circumstances, weaning feels like the right choice. As I said before though, it would take some pretty extenuating circumstances to make me consider weaning before 18-24 months.

Time to Wean

I mentioned in my Facebook Friday update last week that I had decided to wean Bear. First though, I want to take a minute to talk about why a 27month old is (still) nursing...since that's not a very common thing in this country.

I am not weaning him because I think he is too old to nurse (although obviously I do think that he is old enough to wean...details on that difference in a minute!)
There are great physical benefits to nursing until age 2. For one thing, the brain is not fully myelinized until age 2, and the high fat content of breastmilk helps with the myelinating. (This is why they say to only give children that age whole milk...but even whole cows milk has a lower fat content than human milk...and I do believe in human milk for human babies!). The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends nursing "at least 12 months" frankly because they don't think they can talk the average American woman into nursing for longer. However, if you turn to a global group like the World Health Organization, they recommend nursing for at least two years. The world average age for weaning is actually around 4 years old (and considering how many children in this country are weaned before 1, I think that says something!) So I do not think I would consider weaning a child under 18-24months, unless there were some pretty extreme circumstances. However, nursing past that age (and how far past that age) is very much a matter of personal preference.
By the way, nursing a toddler is just plain neat. I have very much enjoyed having a little guy who snuggles up to me with lovestruck eyes and whispers "I love da nurn."

I am not weaning him because I am pregnant.
If I had an objection to nursing while pregnant then I would have weaned him several months ago. Contrary to popular rumor, nursing while pregnant is possible and safe for the vast majority of women (here is a great article on the subject). Some women find it painful, and wean for that reason. Some women's milk dries up, and although some children choose to keep suckling even when there is no milk, most of the time this leads to weaning as well. In very rare cases the mother is unable to maintain her own health (losing weight as she tries to support both fetus and nursling), or increases her risk for miscarriage (this is most likely to be seen in a woman who already needs hormone supplements to maintain a pregnancy). However, the average woman can nurse while pregnant, and many do. Many women also choose to tandem nurse--to continue nursing an older child after the baby is born and begins nursing. Many people feel that tandem nursing helps the older child accept and adjust to the newborn better.

Well, Bear loves to nurse. I mean, he really adores his beloved 'nurn.' He often tells me that he loves it, or that he needs it, and frequently gives it kisses and little affectionate pats. I felt that, between his attachment, and the fact that I had no supply issues and only moderate tenderness (not extreme pain), I should just nurse him right through the pregnancy and then tandem nurse him with the baby. I thought he would cope with all the changes better if he could share his nurn with the baby rather than having to wean. Mothers who have done it both ways report that children who tandem nurse are less likely to be jealous of the new baby, and cope better with the new family dynamic. SO, I was planning to tandem nurse. I figured that Bear would be 3 just a few months after the baby was born, and that he would wean by then...but that there would be those few months of overlap to soften the adjustments.

Well, about a week ago Hubby and I were talking, and he said "you know, I think Bear needs to wean. If we do it now, it will be long enough that by the time the baby comes he will have forgotten about it, so I don't think he'll be jealous...and meanwhile we can help him adjust to a bedtime routine that doesn't involve nursing. Once the baby comes he'll need to be able to go to bed for daddy, so we might as well start working on that now."
I wholeheartedly agreed about the needing to learn to go to sleep with daddy (or a babysitter, of all shocking things!), but I wasn't entirely sure about the forgetting part...he's not an infant anymore, after all. So I started talking with friends who had weaned, and with friends who had tandem nursed, and I was slightly surprised that most of them agreed: toddlers do forget pretty quickly, and 5-6 months is certainly long enough that by the time the baby comes Bear is not likely to remember nursing. Even if he does remember that he did it, he probably will have forgotten how to latch on, so even if he wants to try (and I would let him), he would not be able to get any milk. With the thought in mind that weaning him and not tandem nursing was probably not going to be traumatic after all, I started actually considering that option (something I had not previously done) and realized that I liked it a lot better.

[here I have copied and pasted an excerpt from the post I wrote about it on NaturalLDSLiving]

Prior to birthing and nursing any kids, I felt that i would probably nurse for 18m-2yrs. I really figured that 2yrs was plenty old enough though. But of course, once you're doing it it's easy to just keep doing it...Bear showed no inclination to give up nursing, and I had finally gotten my cycles back (that did take 20m ) so I figured the nursing wasn't in the way of trying to conceive...so we just kept going. I had been afraid that I might have a lot of nipple pain (that was my earliest sign of pregnancy with prior pregnancies), but I was pretty much ok...until about 8wks, then it started being tender after a little nursing...and then around 10wks it started being tender all the time. I'd already committed to night-weaning (honestly I've been attempting that on and off since last summer), but I guess I had been feeling like tandem nursing was this ideal thing that I should strive for, you know? I think that sometimes hanging around in crunchy circles (or, heck, in non-crunchy ones where I feel the need to be an example) leads us (or at least lead me) to make efforts beyond what I really wanted, because I feel like it's what I should do. Does that make sense? A sort of peer-pressure-induced idealism.
Anyway, I had been planning on tandeming--even though I now realize that I didn't particularly want to--because I felt like it was going to be better for Bear. Now that I've made the conscious choice to wean him this coming month, I feel like a weight is off my shoulders. I hadn't realized how much this had been bothering me, but I guess it had. Now that I've made the decision, I know there will be hard days, but having made the whole decision (to wean entirely, not just cut back) it's easier because it feels like the end is in site. I know he's old enough, I know he's going to be ok, I know I'll probably stress about what he eats for a while (I'd never worried because I knew he could always make up for it with nursing), and this morning he did eat a bigger breakfast than I've seen in a while... But yeah, anyway, I just wanted to share that it's a relief to have made the choice.

I am obviously not opposed to nursing during pregnancy or to tandem nursing. If the spacing between Bear and this baby was closer, I might have made a different choice. But as it is, I feel that a child over 2 does not need to nurse any longer (no matter how much he likes or wants it). I do not think that weaning will do him any physical, emotional, or psychological detriment at this age. So, we are weaning, not because we need to, or because he wants to, but because I am ready...and any relationship needs to be working for both of the people involved or else it's just not healthy.

This post has gotten quite long, so I will hold off a couple of weeks before writing about how we're doing this weaning thing, and how it goes. Suffice it to say that so far so good. He is not thrilled that I am insisting on short nursing sessions, but he is not waking in the night like he used to, and he is not crying when I refuse him the 'nanu' in the night or after we've finished our designated minutes. He generally seems to be accepting of the changes, although it's clear that he's not excited about them. He does know that he still gets it sometimes, and I can tell that that is important to him. The final step of this process will most likely be the hardest, but I have some ideas about how to help it happen gently...so like I said, I will post more about all of that in a couple of weeks!!

Nursing an [Older] Toddler

I originally posted "Nursing a Toddler" a year ago when Bear was 15 months old. Today I'm participating in a blog carnival about nursing toddlers, so I'm re-posting it...along with a few new entries that are more specific to my now 27month old nursling...

~~~~~~~~~~

Nursing a toddler is not like nursing an infant.


An infant nurses for nourishment, comfort, and security.


A toddler nurses for nourishment, comfort, security, and FUN!

• Toddlers engage in "walk-by nursings" wherein they sneak in a sip while literally still walking by.
• Toddlers like to play "peek-a-boobie."
• Toddlers know how to lift up your shirt and get at what they want--by themselves.
• Older toddlers can unhook the bra by themselves as well.
• Toddlers think it's funny when the milk shoots across the room, and they will pull off repeatedly just to see it do so.
• Toddlers get so excited about nursing that they laugh and then milk comes out their nose.
• Toddlers like to drink from one side while cuddling the other (without that pesky bra in the way, thank-you-very-much!)
• Older toddlers like to switch back and forth to the 'udder one' every few minutes (or moments!).
  
• Older toddlers justify this switching behavior by pointing back and forth and explaining "I yuv [love] dis one, and dis one, and dis one, and dis one!"
  
• Toddlers give lup-bats* to the breast. *Wolf's toddler pronunciation of 'love pats' (so-named because pats on the bottom are obviously not little spanks...)
• Toddlers like to nurse while climbing, standing, sitting, rocking, playing with blocks, or otherwise wiggling a LOT.
• Toddlers like to nurse upside-down.
• Toddlers like to give breast-zerberts in between sucks.
• Toddlers say "nurn!" and sign "milk" while nursing, and then afterwards smile and say "doo!" [thank you]
• Older toddlers say "mommy I need some nurn peese" and when they are done they grin and say "sank oo for da nurn"
• Toddlers run and run and run and run...and then climb into the big bed (by themselves) and lay down and start signing 'milk' because they are ready to nurse to sleep now.
• Older toddlers can understand that they need to wait just a minute before we nurse.

Toddlers melt mommy's heart in a whole new way.

And when it does come time to wean them, an older toddler can look you in the eye and say "mommy, I yuv da nurn, but I don't need it" and then pat your face and snuggle anyway.

~~~~~~~~~~

Here are the other entries in the "This is what nursing a toddler looks like" carnival:

• Comfort in Sick Times (home base/host)
  
• The Joys, Humors, and Struggles of nursing a toddler
  
• Calm in the Midst of the Storm
• I Never Thought I'd Nurse a Toddler
• The Pros and Cons of Nursing a Toddler
  
• Nursing a Toddler in a Ring Sling
• This is what a Nursing Toddler Looks Like
  
• A Nursing Toddler Story
• A Breastfeeding Toddler Photo Shoot
• This is what Toddler Nursing Looks Like
  
• Nursing a (and around a) Toddler Creates Cute Stories
• This is what Nursing a Toddler Looks Like
• This is a Nursing Toddler
  
• Beautiful at Every Age
  

Mom Wars: Making Choices

I've been thinking recently over the way that many parents (especially moms) get into 'wars' over certain parenting topics: breastfeeding vs formula; co-sleeping vs crying-it-out; mom staying-at-home vs working; vaccination; circumcision; methods for discipline; even things like labor induction or epidurals.

On the one hand I very much understand why these are such hot topics: the parent is making a choice that affects another person's life, a choice which may even have lifelong consequences. That's a lot of responsibility, and I would hope that none of the choices would be taken lightly.

Inevitably people get defensive when someone else questions their choices. I have two basic thoughts on that:
One--if you have to be defensive about it, then are you really that sure about it?! If you truly believe in it, you shouldn't feel the need to defend your decision. Stand up for it, sure, but defend it? If it's so good and right, then won't it speak for itself? (I recently had this realization in regards to nursing in public. Either you do it or you don't, but if you do it then don't be apologetic about it, you know?!)
Two--I've always said that I can respect a person who makes an educated choice (even if I don't agree with the choice), but I cannot respect an UNeducated choice, or the choice-maker. Especially in this age of information, I think there's really no excuse to trust anybody's word on anything, parents should be able to learn things for themselves and make their own decisions. Nobody should just take the word of their doctor, or friend, or neighbor, or mother, or the author of some book...every decision should be based on study, thought, and (at least in all the cases I mentioned above) prayer.

Tips for Gentle Weaning

I must preface this post with the CLEAR statement that these tips are geared to a child who is at least 12 months old. I don't believe in pushing weaning before a year of age (with the rare exception of extreme medical situations), and I feel it is preferable for a child to nurse at least 18-24 months.

First of all, I ask you to evaluate why you are trying to wean--is it because you want to, or because you feel pressure from others? I encourage you to review the reasons you have chosen to breastfeed in the first place, and to keep it up for as long as you and your child are both happy with the status quo. With that said, if one of you is genuinely not happy, making changes can be healthy and good.

Whether you're night-weaning, fully-weaning, or just cutting back a bit on your nursing routine, hopefully some of these will be helpful. By no means should you feel the need to try them all! But hopefully something here will work for you.

• Stop offering the breast. This might seem obvious, but some kids don't really ask for it, they just take it when offered. If you stop offering it all the time that could greatly reduce their nursing.
  
• Nurse whenever they ask, but only for a short time--for example count to 10 and then say 'all done' and stop. They can ask again as often as they want, and never be turned away...but each nursing episode is very brief. With time the child will likely adjust to short-duration nursing, and it then becomes easier to cut back the frequency. (I posted about my experience with this here.)
• When the child asks to nurse, offer a drink or other snack. (If they are asking out of hunger, then find other ways to meet the need.)
  
• When they ask to nurse, distract them with a book, toy, or other activity (Little Bear often will ask to nurse simply because he just remembered that the milk is there--via seeing me changing or whatever. In these situations it is easy to distract him.)
• Cuddle, sing, rock in the chair...do all the things you do when nursing, but don't get out the breast.
• Get pregnant. No, I'm not being facetious. Many children self-wean because the milk either dries up or changes in taste during pregnancy...of course, many women experience acute breast tenderness when pregnant and have to push weaning because of the pain...so take the idea with a grain of salt. If you've been thinking about getting pregnant though, know that yes, you can nurse while pregnant, and it may help your older child to wean (or it may not, and you may get to tandem nurse... ☺)
• Here is KellyMom's list of articles on weaning (including information about whether or not a medical situation warrents weaning--most do not--and more ideas on how to do it gently)
• Here is an index of all Dr Sears' articles on breastfeeding (including weaning).
  

NIGHT WEANING

• Many women have said that they handled night-weaning by telling the child that the breast/milk went to sleep at night (this is best after 18months, as they may not understand the logic before then). This is the tack we've taken and while Bear is frustrated over it, he accepts that the nanu sleeps just like everybody else.
  
• Put the breast away--this can be done during the day too, but is especially applicable at night, when many of us just leave it hanging out...easy access usually means lots of nursing. Toddlers rarely even wake up in these cases--they just latch on and keep on sleeping. If there is nothing to latch on to, they may just sleep!
• Scoot over or roll away. If the child is co-sleeping, they may be nursing simply because it's there...even with your shirt pulled down the persistent child can feel the breast and knows that it's right there. The determined ones may pull up your shirt and go after it! However, if you roll onto your back, or scoot away from the child a bit, then the breast is not right there, access is not so easy, and they are more likely to forget about it.
  
• For night-weaning, consider Dr Jay Gordon's program (it is geared to the over 12months co-sleeping crowd)
• Here are 12 ideas from Dr Sears for gentle night weaning.
  

Please take into account that when a child is sick, or learning a new skill (walking, talking, potty-learning, etc) they will probably not handle other changes (ie, weaning) very well. It is best to just do one thing at a time.


Please let me know if you have other gentle weaning tips and I'll add them to the list.

What Gifts Can YOU Give?

My former roommate Nicole wrote a piece for Women Doing More this last week (I almost said "my old roommate" but she's only 6months older than I am, so I guess I shouldn't call her old!) She talked about non-monetary ways that she and her husband have found to give--through donating blood, hair, and even a kidney. You should go read her article right now--go on, it's not very long.

Did you read it yet?


Get over there now! I'll wait.


It's not that long...



So did you read it now?

Good.

When I read that article it got me thinking about the ways that I am able to give... as you may know, my Hubby is a school teacher. It means that he has a great schedule (summers off!), but it's not a huge paycheck, so I rarely have money that I'm able to give. However there are many things that I can give:

• I make things for people (cloth diapers, baby blankets, hats). This isn't free, but supplies are cheaper than finished products, and since these creative skills are able to bring me an income, I feel that it's appropriate that I should use the same skills to help as well. "Unto whom much is given, much is required"
  
• I teach skills--I've taught friends how to make bread, sew diapers, and sew their own pads. I've posted a few tutorials on my shop blog, and am always willing to show somebody how to do something.
  
• I share knowledge--I hope this blog is educational! I also share recipes and cooking tips on my cooking blog, and I hope they are helpful (and yummy) for some of you too! I tend to offer lots of information when someone asks me a question--it doesn't matter if it took me a long time to acquire all that knowledge for myself, I figure that knowledge is a good thing, and should be shared freely. Who am I to hoard it?
  
• Throughout college I gave blood regularly. I'm no longer able to do this (because Hubby lived in England for 3 years so now we're both on the 'no' list for blood donation because of fear over mad cow disease), but I definitely encourage others to do this simple service--it really does save lives! Actually, if you donate before Feb 28, you can join in the virtual blood drive and be entered to win some pretty cool stuff...but that's not why you're doing it, right?
  
• I do my part to save the world by living a pretty green lifestyle, being a good steward of what I have, and teaching my children (and hopefully others) how to do the same. Never doubt the power of a good example!
  
• And the last one I want to tell about is sharing my breastmilk.

I wrote once about my friend who was not able to lactate. It's a very rare thing, but occasionally it does happen. Her baby was born in November, and mine was born the following January. In the early weeks, as she was struggling to try to get her milk to come in, many friends donated breastmilk to her, but by the time my milk came in she had only one person still sharing milk. I was blessed with an abundant supply of milk, so I started pumping and freezing it. Over the next 7 months I probably gave her a couple of gallons of my milk...not as much as I wish I could have given, but that is a lot of milk that she was able to give her baby which she would not have been able to otherwise. (She used formula to make up the difference, but I've commented before that formula makers are always discovering some new thing to add that breastmilk has had all along, so I'll always maintain my stance that breastmilk is the ideal.) Sharing my milk didn't cost me a thing, and it meant the world to her. (If you don't personally know someone in need, there are milkshare programs that help connect mothers with milk to mothers in need--just search "share breastmilk" or "donate breastmilk".)

So what about you? What non-monetary ways can you give?

Facebook Nurse-In

You know what a nurse-in is, right? It's like a sit-in, only with nursing. ☺
When someone says or does something rude to a breastfeeder, the militant lactivists (lactation activists) of the world unite and go stage a nurse-in. I've always wanted to join one, but never had the chance...until now. So what if it's just a virtual nurse-in, it's a nurse-in, and I'm there!!
<------ I posted this picture on my facebook profile, along with the status "J likes to nurse her kiddo in public, and would like to remind Facebook and everyone else that she has a legal right to do so!" Why are we doing this? Well, a lot of facebookers have been flagging breastfeeding photos as obscene, and facebook takes them down. Now I am a staunch believer in utilizing a certain amount of modesty and deorum when nursing in public, however the only way to normalize nursing in public is to NURSE IN PUBLIC, and a little boob flashing is bound to happen from time to time. Nope, I didn't post a boob-flashing picture, (although I thought about posting this one...Wolf said the other one was better though, and for FB, I had to agree...) but lucky you, you get to see it here. ☺

So, if you're on facebook, and believe in nursing, take a few minutes to go change your profile picture and status to join the nurse-in!

ETA--new status says "J thinks Facebook's sidebar ads show more skin than most breastfeeding pictures...who is 'obscene' now?!"

SBE when Lactating

It's the first Friday of the month, that time when I remind everybody to do a Self Breast Exam. Feel 'em up folks!
For what it's worth, men can get breast cancer too, so hey, go for it guys, poke around a bit, ok?
☺
OK, so like I mentioned before, with each months reminder I'm trying to add some additional health info. This month (at the request of a commenter) I'm taking on doing SBEs when lactating. Obviously lactation (while reducing the likelihood of future breast cancer) leaves the breasts full of milk, which makes it harder to feel lumps.
The short and simple answer can be found at Breastfeeding123, which recommends doing the self-exams immediately after nursing, so that the breast will be as un-full as possible.
MamaKnowsBreast (Oct 4 entry) agrees that it's good to continue to do self exams when breastfeeding, although there is a good chance that you'll notice tissue changes which are not cancerous. Everyday Health comments that if you have not previously been doing SBEs, then pregnancy or lactating may not be great times to start because your breasts are going through so many changes. On the other hand, if you already have the habit, then it's a good thing to continue.
My own thought is that SBEs could be helpful with those non-cancerous changes too though--for example if you are familiar with the 'normal' feel of your breasts, then if you get a plugged duct you'll be able to quickly recognize the abnormality and address the issue... For the same reason, I think it makes sense for lactating women to do at least 'quick once-over' type exams in the shower on a more frequent basis.
This article is packed with information about breast health during pregnancy and lactation. (Incidentally, you should never have a mammogram while lactating.)

Here are directions for doing a SBE when you are lactating.

Wan Too Ree

The little Bear is nearly 2 (just 3 more months!). I don't have a hard and fast weaning schedule by any means--I'm certainly willing to nurse for naps and bedtime for a while longer--but I want him to pretty much let go of random daytime nursings before his birthday. He doesn't spend a lot of time on them, doesn't need them for nutrition, and does them out of habit as much as anything. I'm hoping to get pregnant soon and SUPER tender breasts is one of my earliest and strongest symptoms of pregnancy, so I'd like to minimize pain and trauma for everyone involved here by getting him to ease off now while we have the time to do it gently. (I'm also trying to get him to let go of the mid-night nursings, and developing a habit of short nursing times rather than long ones will help with that I think...they'll just shorten up until they go away!)
Anyway, I decided to do counting with him. So when he comes up to me during the day and wants to nurse, I latch him on and then count to 10, then say "all done!" and we're done. The first time he gave me a funny look but accepted it. The second time he gave me a dirty look and promptly asked for the other breast (which I gave him--also for 10--and then he was satisfied). But since then he's gotten into the rhythm of it and it's going well. We count, he smiles, and readily lets go on his own when we get to 'all done'. He's even stopped asking for 'nurn' or 'nanu' much of the time--instead he comes over and pulls at my shirt and says 'wan, too?" (1, 2?)
He also wanders around the house saying things like "wan, too, ree(3), foe(4), sen(7), eight, nine, ten, AWW DONE!!" It is so stinkin cute!

Wanna read other cute stuff that kids say? Check out Tiny Talk Tuesday, celebrating our kids, the things they say, and their view of the world.

Hey look, they got something right!

“Exclusive breastfeeding is ideal nutrition and sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months after birth. Infants weaned before 12 months of age should not receive cow's milk feedings but should receive iron-fortified infant formula. Gradual introduction of iron-enriched solid foods in the second half of the first year should complement the breast milk diet. It is recommended that breastfeeding continue for at least 12 months, and thereafter for as long as mutually desired.”

The American Academy of Pediatrics--statement issued in 1997.

My happy little nurn-monkey is still goin' strong at 20 months old. Except last week Hubby tried to get him to start calling it 'nanu' instead of 'nurn.' Now sometimes he comes up to me and says 'nanu nanu...'