Turtleneck Appreciation Week

A little story

Once upon a time, there was a lovely thing called the turtleneck sweater. It was soft and stretchy, and kept people's necks warm when the weather got cool. It could roll down to cover just part of the neck in the warmer cool weather, and it could unroll for the really cold times. Everyone appreciated turtlenecks,  everyone had them, and everyone was happy.

One day, a Designer got it into his head that turtlenecks looked funny. He cut the turtlenecks off all the sweaters he could find, leaving wide collars and open necks. At first people didn't like it; their necks got cold, they had to use scarves and other extra things to stay warm enough. Where once just the simple turtleneck had been enough, now they needed accessories.

Of course this was good business for the Designers, and so one after another jumped on board with the new look. Low-cut necks! Scarves! Necklaces! What's not to love! Over time, people became so accustomed to the low-cut look that it became considered 'normal.' The rare person who did wear a turtleneck was considered old-fashioned or backward.

But some people remembered what turtlenecks were like. They remembered how soft and comfortable and warm and simple and practical they were. They went on wearing them, and tried to help others realize that the Designers were following whim and income, rather than practicality or common sense. Some people believed them, and even though the vast majority of the population had given up turtlenecks for over a century, slowly they started trying them again. Once someone tried turtlenecks, they almost always became an advocate for them, and so slowly the turtleneck-wearing population increased to nearly half.

The Designers were distraught. How could they make money on accessories if everyone went back to turtlenecks? So they devised a plan. Soon, the prestigious American Academy of Apparel authoritatively declared that turtlenecks were a relic of the past, and that all educated, forward-thinking people should avoid them at all costs.

This is why this week, turtleneck-lovers are uniting to call the American Academy of Apparel on their greedy and unethical behavior.  

Today, the American Academy of Pediatrics released a statement supporting the routine circumcision of infant males. This flies in the face of ALL competent medical research in the area. No other medical organization in any country recommends routine circumcision. The AAP is motivated by their pocketbooks, not their ethics. (Frankly, the fact that they would make such a statement leaves me with the conclusion that I dare not trust their advice in any area.)

Dr. Bob Block, the current president of the AAP, proudly proclaims “AAP ROCKS” on his open hands in his profile picture on Twitter. In response,  human rights advocates everywhere are protesting him and the AAP by writing our thoughts on our hands and sharing them across the internet (as well writing numerous letters and emails of course). We are "washing our hands of the AAP," and showing the world exactly what we think of the American Academy of Pediatrics and their infant circumcision policy.

What I Really Do...

These have been flying around facebook the last few days. A few applied to me (more or less), and I found them amusing.
(I know the captions are too small to read here on the blog, but if you click on the image then you'll be able to see it full size)
Enjoy!

 

Link Roundup

Alaska:
Orange Goo at Alaskan Village found to be Fungal Spore, Not Eggs at NPR (news story about a town not far from here...it's in our same school district).

Attachment Parenting:
Babywearing Through the Ages at 9 Davids (lots of fun babywearing pictures from all over the world and all over the timeline)

Believing "children are resiliant" may be a fantasy at Psychology Today (discussing resilience or 'surviving' as opposed to thriving, and some educated guesses as to why kids today are not doing very well...science vindicates attachment parenting yet again).

Funny:
How Harry Potter Should Have Ended (youtube video, thoroughly amusing, although only if you're familiar with the stories and movies)

Intactivism:
Intact or Circumcised: A Significant Difference in the Adult Penis by DrMomma (this post has some graphic photos, but they are very educational as well).

"If we surgically amputate the eyelids or fingernails, we will face the repercussions of making an organ that was designed to be internal, external. In order to survive this damage, the organ must adapt...it is the same with the glans of the penis..."

Kids do the Darndest Things:
Kids do the Darndest Things (I've been adding new stories to the blog...if you haven't been there in a while, go visit! also, there's a new URL)

Makin' Stuff:
5 ingredient (vanilla) ice cream recipe from allrecipes.com (and I can verify the validity of the freezing method--which does not require an ice cream maker--although I recommend stirring every 20-30 min after that first hour).

My Faith:
Hi, I'm Jenni. I'm an intellectual, granola mom, and miscarriage activist living on the Last Frontier. I'm a Mormon. (My new "I'm a Mormon" profile, which I actually submitted last spring but they take a while to get them actually up).

Fasting For the Goddess at Daughters of Mormonism (a podcast interview with a dear friend of mine, who has proposed that if we want to know more about Mother in Heaven, we should pray for answers--and she offers up the third sunday of each month as a time to join together in doing so)
 
Saying Goodbye to my LDS Home at Project Conversion (if you haven't seen this blog, it's very cool. A guy giving 12 religions a legitimate try for a month each...July was mormon month, and this is his final post with some of his conclusions about the faith)  
And I will end with a quote from this last link:

This reaction, of thanking me for just listening, is a common theme I find with all the faiths. People don’t want to argue or convince me that every other faith is wrong, they just want people to give them a chance–to listen instead of criticize or judge. It surprises me every time it happens.
Are we that bad at listening? Why are we so quick to condemn those who think differently than we do?
You know, I used to think that I was doing something unique with Project Conversion, that I might start some theological revolution, but the more I do this the more I realize that all I’m doing is listening. When my kids were babies, they cried to communicate. I can’t imagine how frustrating it must be for an infant trying to communicate and no one listens or understands. Is that what religious strife is, everyone fighting, pitching a fit because we stopped listening to one another?

“Well, I don’t understand those people. They do things differently so how can I listen or even want to?”

Here’s a suggestion: Take a year of your life and devote it to living among, listening to, and devoting yourself to those outside your current orbit of understanding. That’s right. That means turning off the talking heads on that right-wing, left-wing or no wing cable channel and learn something for yourself. Want to know what a Hindu really thinks? Ask a Hindu and then ask about ten more because they each have different ideas. Did you know it’s the same way with other faiths?

A "Crunchy" Mama

(I started this post a looong time ago, then I got morning sick, then I didn't get around to finishing it...but I still wanted to post it so here goes!)


So, I labeled myself as a crunchy mama, then Jenn over at BabyMakinMachine asked me what it meant, so I tried to explain, and it led to her writing this post in which she pondered crunchiness and whether it was for her. That post then led to nearly 50 comments (most of them lengthy and some of them quite heated)... and I concluded that I was gonna just lay it all out.
I think Jenn put it quite fairly when she suggested that perhaps there's a middle level, somewhere between 'crunchy' and 'soggy' (or mainstream) which might be called 'chewy.' I find myself chewy in a number of things, because I'm not nearly so far off the beaten path as many of my uber-crunchy friends. On the other hand, I'm pretty far off the beaten path!

My reasons for being crunchy (or chewy) come from one main thing, and that is that I believe in questioning the status quo, and doing my own research about things, so that I can make my own decisions about what is best for me and my family. Again and again I discover that mainstream practices were born of the greedy side of capitalism (not that capitalism is evil in and of itself, but the associated greediness certainly is...) and that the things that really seem best are falling into this category called "crunchy." Here are my few basic tenets:

1. I believe in not messing with the way God made things.
2. I believe that Godmade is better than manmade, and should be utilized if available.
3. I believe in avoiding unnecessary interventions/chemicals
4. I believe in respecting people and the Earth.
5. I believe in logic
6. I believe in making things cheap, easy, and comfortable unless there's a good reason not to (you got it folks, I'm lazy!).

So what does this mean?

I believe in not messing with the way God made things

• My body gives me signs every month of what is going on with my fertility, so I observe them and take notes rather than trying to control or change them.
• My body makes milk for my baby, therefore, I should give it to the baby.
• God made baby boys with foreskins. End of discussion.
• If you're gonna drink cow milk (which is actually made for baby cows you know), then at least drink it whole, or even raw. Its vitamins are fat-soluable, so if you want the nutritive benefits of it, you'd better be getting the fat with it. Oh, and the low/no-fat versions have petroleum in them, just FYI.
• God made some people women, and some people men, and then He gave them each bodies built to fulfill certain roles, therefore I birth and nurture children and keep our home, while my husband provides for and protects our family.

I believe that Godmade is better than manmade

• So infant formula is only for emergencies, not for the average baby.
• Food out of the dirt or off a tree = good, food out of a box = not so good.
• If there's an herb that fits the bill, then I don't want some chemically formulated pill. Ideally I'd like nothing at all.
• I think HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) is bad news...I'm trying to restrict it in our diet, though I doubt we'll manage to remove it entirely.
• Partially hydrogenated anything = evil
• I believe in butter. Margarine is the devil (also it tastes like BLECH).
• I've recently found that I vastly prefer natural fibers (cotton, wool, hemp, bamboo) over almost all of the synthetics. Especially now that Eagle seems to break out when he wears synthetics.
• I don't typically wear makeup--I wear the face God gave me.

I believe in avoiding unnecessary interventions and chemicals

• The vast majority of women's bodies can give birth without intervention, so they should be allowed to do so.
• If my child is exploring, I don't get in the way unless injury is imminent.
• If (older) kids disagree, I try to help them work it out, rather than stepping in and taking over.
• I think that antibiotics are making superbugs, so I don't use antibacterial soaps or products in my home, and would not seek (or take) a prescription for an antibiotic unless there were a good reason for it (such as post-surgery).
• I don't wear makeup (most of it is toxic to some degree)
• I don't use scented soaps/lotions/shampoos/detergents.

I believe in respecting people...

• I try to boycott companies that treat their employees badly (such as Walmart)
• My children do not call adults by their first names. If an adult is more than a few years older than myself *I* usually do not call them by their first name.
• I think it's offensive to do cosmetic surgery on an infant boy's private parts without his permission.
• I follow my infant's schedule, rather than demanding that he follow mine.
• I don't let a small infant cry. I don't let an older child cry for long.
• I try to be gentle and respectful in my parenting.
• I try to take care of myself by eating (relatively) well and dressing modestly
• If I can tell that my infant needs to poop, I often remove his diaper and hold him over the toilet. There's no reason to force him to sit in his own waste for even a moment if I can help it.

...and respecting the earth

• I try to support local farmers, and sustainable farming practices
• I recycle
• I buy second-hand if I can
• I re-use or re-purpose things because I don't throwing away good fabric/wood/etc
• I try to be minimalist
• I try to stock my kitchen (and my kids' toyboxes) with things that will last--things made from wood, metal, or glass.
• I use recycled packaging when I mail things
• I use cloth diapers, wipes, rags, etc. (I do use cloth pads, but this was a very secondary reason for it--the primary reason is below)

I believe in logic

• I make milk + baby is hungry = give the kid a boob!
• I need sleep + baby needs sleep + baby needs to eat during the night = let's all sleep in the same place
• Babies like to be held + mommy needs to get stuff done = babywearing
• Children learn by example, therefore I should be gentle with them if I want them to learn to be gentle with me or anyone else.
• I see the sense in some vaccines (though not all) but I also see the dangers...so the ones we get we get on a spread-out schedule.

I'm lazy, frugal, and like my comforts

• I use cloth pads and cloth diapers because fabric is more comfortable than plastic on tender parts.
• babywearing is cheaper and easier than strollers and carriers (and doesn't require smooth sidewalks, of which we have precious few here!)
• I re-use or re-purpose things because I don't want to spend the money to buy new ones.
• I don't wear makeup--I've got the face I've got and if you don't like it then don't look, I'm not going to paint it for anybody.

I'm sure there are other things, but this is what comes to mind off the top of my head. ☺

Come back tomorrow and hear about my "soggy side"

"The Vulnerability of Men"

This is excerpted from an essay by Vincent Bach (you can read the full text here). He was born in the 60s in the USA when almost all boys were circumcised, but "by a fluke" as he says, he was left intact. He was aware of the difference from a very early age, and has written a number of essays about the issue. Incidentally, he is grateful for that "fluke" and strongly opposes circumcision.
As most of my readers probably know by now, I oppose routine infant circumcision. In talking with other mothers though, I find that many of them don't like the idea, but when they bring it up with their husbands, the father is insistent on circumcising so mom gives in and goes with it in spite of her feelings on the matter. For those mothers in particular, I share this essay.

First of all, you need to understand that circumcised men are cornered on this issue. They were circumcised without their consent and have no inherent knowledge of what being intact is like. Even though they rarely will discuss the issue, they are keenly aware that they have been surgically altered in a very private way. There are several ways for a man to deal with this issue but the safest way, psychologically speaking, is to believe at all cost that the surgery performed on them was an enhancement and is preferred by women. Confirmation of this belief is essential to their sexual self-image. Do I need to tell you that sexual self-image is a major issue for men? Didn’t think so.

Now put yourself in the shoes of the circumcised man. He asks for very little. All he wants is football on Sunday and to be assured that there is nothing wrong with his package. A nice bonus would be that women actually prefer it the way it is. Then along comes the newly pregnant wife and the issue of circumcision is no more personal to her than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and she starts openly discussing it with him with all the casualness that she would with her gal pals down at the salon. Yikes! Batten down the hatch. Incoming torpedo!!!! At first the strategy is to dismiss her without appearing to be alarmed. He’ll probably toss back the usual "It's not clean" or "That could cause health problems" hoping this will scare her off since he assumes she’s heard those things before. He won’t seem particularly disturbed at first. Its part of being a man to not show vulnerability.

(continued)

I think it's important to acknowledge that its perfectly understandable that our circumcised friends react this way. Men who have been circumcised have an extremely difficult dilemma. For them to acknowledge that the practice is unnecessary and harmful means that they must acknowledge a painful personal reality. For that reason circumcised men can be forgiven if they don't want to lead the parade in the fight against routine infant circumcision. I can empathize and therefore understand completely why so many men will voluntarily offer their sons up for the same procedure without giving it a second thought. To do otherwise opens them up to some vulnerable feelings that can be most unpleasant. Society puts lots of expectations on women but it also puts a couple on men. One of them is that he be sexually virile. You know - masculine, strong, potent GRRRRR!! I think many circumcised men accept without question and perpetuate the myths regarding the intact penis in order to cope with this particular expectation.

So, the problem is how do we save our son’s genitals without psychologically emasculating their fathers?

Hmm...well I think the first step is having a better understanding of just how personal an issue this is for him. The reason I spent so long discussing it is because it's extremely important and he’s not going to tell you about it.

Going into the discussion, you’ll be much better off knowing what’s really bothering him. Trust me, he really doesn’t give a hooey whether his son’s penis looks like his. What is important is that his bulb is not dimmed. Probably not a good idea to refer to the practice in initial discussions as genital mutilation (although it certainly is that). The thing that you need to get across to him with all your female charm is that you love him EXACTLY the way he is and wouldn’t change a thing. In other words, I think the best strategy is probably to build him up as high as you can before lowering this boom on him. The ship can only take a hit so big before going under. So get your armor out and start fortifying his self-image. What means everything to him is that he is the best lover and provider that you could ever hope for.
Please don’t use my lame words exactly. I ain’t got no feminine charm :-). I suspect you get it and can take it from here. Ironically, if you succeed, you’ll be giving your man a huge future reward in that his son will someday be a man and will know all too well the tremendous courage it took for his father to break with this barbaric custom and leave him intact.

You can read further writings of Vincent Bach here.

The big deal about circumcision

Recently a friend shared this link with me, and I want to share it with all of you:

"Want to know what the big deal is about circumcision?"

I here quote the very beginning (it is a lengthy post, but well-referenced, and I HIGHLY recommend it).

I am posting this as a mom who is first, Jewish, and second, who has two sons who are circumcised. Since my pregnancy with my third son, however, I have researched the issue of circumcision and have left my third son intact, as will be this fourth son due in October. Below are a few of the reasons I made this decision. For anyone planning on giving birth in the future, this information is critical to protect your unborn sons. I am certainly in no position to judge anyone who has circumcised sons, as I have no stones to throw. However, I would like to share what I have learned and hope that it does some good to protect future little boys...

Please, if you are in your childbearing years, take the time to read through the research before making this choice. It's not a little thing to make a decision about your child's genital integrity, whether they are female or male. (I confess that, with what I know now, it truly boggles me that so many people can be staunchly opposed to female circumcision, yet think that male circumcision is ok...it is really the same thing, even if the details look different.)
I grew up thinking that circumcision was normal and a good idea...no one had ever taught me otherwise, and I figured it wouldn't be so common if it wasn't good. A few years ago though someone said something to me that made me start wondering...so (as I tend to do) I started researching. As most of my readers probably know, I try to avoid resources that are anecdotal or emotionally-charged, and just stick with hard scientific facts inasmuch as it is possible to do so. The medical evidence on circumcision is quite one-sided--circumcision is unnecessary, painful, and probably damaging (some things are difficult to test or prove, and at least one study on this subject had to be stopped early because they concluded that the baby boys involved were being too traumatized to ethically continue the study...but there are indications that circumcision can do real and lasting harm).
As I said, visit the link I posted above. She has LOTS of links to references and resources that are well worth your time to visit.


About two years ago, when Bear was a fairly new baby, I posted about intactivism (or activism in favor of intactness--non-circumcision). I don't really have anything new to say, or any better ways to say it, but I do think the topic bears repeating, so today I am just going to re-post what I wrote before.

"I did then what I knew how to do. When you know better, you do better." ~ Maya Angelou

I've been a little hesitant to post anything on this topic, because I know members of my extended family read here, and I think that many of them disagree with me on this topic. But I was recently part of a conversation that made me realize that I should talk about this, and most especially to the people I care about.
My baby son is intact. That means that his body is precisely as God made it--we did not cut off part of his penis. Circumcision may be common, but so was the black plague and smallpox. Just because something is common doesn't mean it's good or right. I don't like to make any kind of major decision without doing the research--so I did it. I studied from sources like the World Health Organization, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and so on. Sure, there are a lot of emotionally-charged hotheads out there preaching against circumcision, but there is a lot of careful, logical information as well. And it all says the same thing--there is no good reason to circumcise unless your God requires it. The only faiths I'm aware of that call for circumcision are Islam and Judaism. My own faith has scriptures which are blatantly against circumcision (Moroni 8:8 Behold, I came into the world not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance; the whole need no physician, but they that are sick; wherefore, little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing sin; wherefore the curse of Adam is taken from them in me, that it hath no power over them; and the law of circumcision is done away in me.) SO, there is no good reason for me to cut my son.

There are many arguments in favor of routine circumcision, but none of them hold water. I'll just run over the ones I hear the most:
1) Looking like Dad--so, if my baby's nose doesn't look like mine, shall I get him a nose job? Shall I get him color contacts if his eyes are a different shade than mine? Really, this must be the strangest reason ever for a cosmetic surgery on a baby
2) Looking like other boys--well, circumcision rates in this country are on the decline...somewhere around 50% at present, with various areas ranging from 35% to a high of about 65%. Most of the rest of the world (with the middle east as the exception) has MUCH lower rates.
3) Risk of penile cancer--penile cancer is very rare. Even among high risk groups, studies indicate that the difference in penile cancer rates between circumcised and intact men is something like 0.03%. Not statistically significant. In other words, it's too small to be considered evidence or 'proof' of anything...
4) Hygiene--underneath the foreskin is something called smegma. It is a lubricant-not unlike the fluids which women have in their genital regions. It not only lubricates, but also works much like snot--it catches anything that may get in there and flushes it out. So, actually, the intact penis is MORE hygienic than the circumcised one.
5) Risk of infections--see #4
6) More likely to give wife infections--see #4
7) Harder to wash--um, have you ever washed a little girl? Furthermore, during childhood an intact penis is about as complicated to wash as a finger. Anybody want to cut off their fingers in an effort to make handwashing simpler? I didn't think so! And in adulthood, well, an extra two seconds in the shower to rinse in and out, and voila, cleanliness is still easy.
8) Lower risk of STDs and AIDS--well, the studies that have suggested this have not taken into account things like socio-economical status or sexual habits...they have just said oh, this man is intact or this man is circumcised, and let's see who has STDs. The studies are biased. Frankly, a little education and monogamy would solve a whole lot more than cutting off some skin.

And, in case you have heard the rumors or believed them, let me set you straight: circumcision HURTS LIKE CRAZY. Grown men get general anesthesia if they choose to have it done. Babies are lucky to get a local. And then, while they have a raw, fresh wound, they are put into snug diapers which not only rub the wound, but also expose it to urine and feces on a regular basis. Mmmmm, just what you want on a wound in the most sensitive part of your body, isn't it.

As I pointed out to my friend--I spent 9 months of pregnancy doing everything I could to protect my baby. That isn't going to change just because he's now living outside of me rather than inside. I will still protect him.

I want to make a comment for those who noticed that I use the word 'intact' rather than 'uncircumcised.' The prefix 'un-' suggests that something was incomplete. The penis was meant to be the way it is; it is not an incomplete circumcision, it is intact. I realize that there are circumcised men out there who may feel hurt at the thought that they are not the way they were meant to be. Unfortunately, that is exactly true. Generations of the blind following the blind (or the circumcised following the circumcised) have injured countless boys and men. I cry thinking of it. I wish I could restore to you what was taken without your permission...but unfortunately I cannot. All I can do is try to spread the information in the hopes of protecting future little boys. "...when you know better, you do better."

Every day when I change his diapers or bathe him, I see my son's healthy, intact body. It is just as we made him. It is just as God designed him. It is how he was born, and it is how he is meant to be. Who am I to take away his choice to be intact? Every day when I see his intactness, I remember that I chose to respect my son. It reminds me to respect everyone. I think this world could use a little more respect.

Mom Wars: Making Choices

I've been thinking recently over the way that many parents (especially moms) get into 'wars' over certain parenting topics: breastfeeding vs formula; co-sleeping vs crying-it-out; mom staying-at-home vs working; vaccination; circumcision; methods for discipline; even things like labor induction or epidurals.

On the one hand I very much understand why these are such hot topics: the parent is making a choice that affects another person's life, a choice which may even have lifelong consequences. That's a lot of responsibility, and I would hope that none of the choices would be taken lightly.

Inevitably people get defensive when someone else questions their choices. I have two basic thoughts on that:
One--if you have to be defensive about it, then are you really that sure about it?! If you truly believe in it, you shouldn't feel the need to defend your decision. Stand up for it, sure, but defend it? If it's so good and right, then won't it speak for itself? (I recently had this realization in regards to nursing in public. Either you do it or you don't, but if you do it then don't be apologetic about it, you know?!)
Two--I've always said that I can respect a person who makes an educated choice (even if I don't agree with the choice), but I cannot respect an UNeducated choice, or the choice-maker. Especially in this age of information, I think there's really no excuse to trust anybody's word on anything, parents should be able to learn things for themselves and make their own decisions. Nobody should just take the word of their doctor, or friend, or neighbor, or mother, or the author of some book...every decision should be based on study, thought, and (at least in all the cases I mentioned above) prayer.

Consider This...

Here are a few quotes I collected from this site. (I recommend the site for anyone not convinced on the circumcision issue--although I say this with the disclaimer that it has actual photos...) I believe these quotes can apply to a lot more than routine infant circumcision though...the cesarian epidemic, early weaning, separating babies from their parents, CIO (crying it out)...the list goes on and on.


"Tradition will accustom people to any atrocity." --George Bernard Shaw

"Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to waste and destroy." --Henri de Lubac

"As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities." --Voltaire

"Often the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it." --Mark Twain

"What's done to children they will do to society." --Karl Menniger

"The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children." --Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." --Mark Twain

"Whenever a doctor cannot do good, he must be kept from doing harm." --Hippocrates

"We shall have to learn to refrain from doing things merely because we know how to do them." --Theodore Fox, Spech to Royal Physicians

"Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom." --Bertrand Russell

"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies." --Friedrich Nietzsche

"What history teaches us is that men have never learned anything from it." --Georg Wilhelm Hegel

"It is never too late to give up your prejudices." --Henry David Thoreau

"All truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident." --Arthur Schoepenhauer

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." --Margaret Mead

"Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day." --Thomas Jefferson

"Each time a person stands up for an idea, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance." --Robert F. Kennedy

"[A] long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defence of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." --Thomas Paine, Common Sense

"Whoever has overthrown an existing law of custom has always first been accounted a bad man: but when, as did happen, the law could not afterwards be reinstated and this fact was accepted, the predicate gradually changed; - history treats almost exclusively of these bad men who subsequently became good men!" --Frederich Nietzsche

"It's not the facts which guide the conduct of men, but their opinions about the facts; which may be entirely wrong. We can only make them right by discussion." --Sir Norman Angell

Going There Again

I've recently read some more things on this subject, and feel the need to preach it again...(last time was here). Circumcision hurts boys and men, yes. It also hurts their wives. And their mothers. In other words, it hurts everyone. How did this ever get to be considered acceptable, let alone 'normal'?!


I will tell you here and now that if you think circumcision is ok, you will probably be offended by this site.
I also highly recommend going there.
The more I learn, the more I am thankful that my baby is intact...and the more I wish I had known more sooner, and that I could have somehow spared other babies...and thus I try to spread the word to whomever I can, in the hopes of teaching one mother, one father, and sparing one more baby...

Intactivism

"I did then what I knew how to do. When you know better, you do better." ~ Maya Angelou

I've been a little hesitant to post anything on this topic, because I know members of my extended family read here, and I think that many of them disagree with me on this topic. But I was recently part of a conversation that made me realize that I should talk about this, and most especially to the people I care about.
My baby son is intact. That means that his body is precisely as God made it--we did not cut off part of his penis. Circumcision may be common, but so was the black plague and smallpox. Just because something is common doesn't mean it's good or right. I don't like to make any kind of major decision without doing the research--so I did it. I studied from sources like the World Health Organization, the American Academy of Pediatrics, and so on. Sure, there are a lot of emotionally-charged hotheads out there preaching against circumcision, but there is a lot of careful, logical information as well. And it all says the same thing--there is no good reason to circumcise unless your God requires it. The only faiths I'm aware of that call for circumcision are Islam and Judaism. My own faith has scriptures which are blatantly against circumcision (Moroni 8:8 Behold, I came into the world not to call the righteous but sinners to repentance; the whole need no physician, but they that are sick; wherefore, little children are whole, for they are not capable of committing esin; wherefore the curse of Adam is taken from them in me, that it hath no power over them; and the law of circumcision is done away in me.) SO, there is no good reason for me to cut my son.

There are many arguments in favor of routine circumcision, but none of them hold water. I'll just run over the ones I hear the most:
1) Looking like Dad--so, if my baby's nose doesn't look like mine, shall I get him a nose job? Shall I get him color contacts if his eyes are a different shade than mine? Really, this is the most stupid reason ever for a cosmetic surgery on a baby
2) Looking like other boys--well, circumcision rates in this country are on the decline...somewhere around 50% at present, with various areas ranging from 35% to a high of about 65%. Most of the rest of the world (with the middle east as the exception) has MUCH lower rates.
3) Risk of penile cancer--penile cancer is very rare. Even among high risk groups, studies indicate that the difference in penile cancer rates between circumcised and intact men is something like 0.03%. Not statistically significant. In other words, it's too small to be considered evidence or 'proof' of anything...
4) Hygeine--underneath the foreskin is something called smegma. It is a lubricant-not unlike the fluids which women have in their genital regions. It not only lubricates, but also works much like snot--it catches anything that may get in there and flushes it out. So, actually, the intact penis is MORE hygenic than the circumcised one.
5) Risk of infections--see #4
6) More likely to give wife infections--see #4
7) Harder to wash--um, have you ever washed a little girl? Furthermore, during childhood an intact penis is about as complicated to wash as a finger. Anybody want to cut off their fingers in an effort to make handwashing simpler? I didn't think so! And in adulthood, well, an extra two seconds in the shower to rinse in and out, and voila, cleanliness is still easy.
8) Lower risk of STDs and AIDS--well, the studies that have suggested this have not taken into account things like socio-economical status or sexual habits...they have just said oh, this man is intact or this man is circumcised, and let's see who has STDs. The studies are biased. Frankly, a little education and monogamy would solve a whole lot more than cutting off some skin.

And, in case you have heard the rumors or believed them, let me set you straight: circumcision HURTS LIKE CRAZY. Grown men get general anesthesia if they choose to have it done. Babies are lucky to get a local. And then, while they have a raw, fresh wound, they are put into snug diapers which not only rub the wound, but also expose it to urine and feces on a regular basis. Mmmmm, just what you want on a wound in the most sensitive part of your body, isn't it.

As I pointed out to my friend--I spent 9 months of pregnancy doing everything I could to protect my baby. That isn't going to change just because he's now living outside of me rather than inside. I will still protect him.

I want to make a comment for those who noticed that I use the word 'intact' rather than 'uncircumcised.' The prefix 'un-' suggests that something was incomplete. The penis was meant to be the way it is; it is not an incomplete circumcision, it is intact. I realize that there are circumcised men out there who may feel hurt at the thought that they are not the way they were meant to be. Unfortunately, that is exactly true. Generations of the blind following the blind (or the circumcised following the circumcised) have injured countless boys and men. I cry thinking of it. I wish I could restore to you what was taken without your permission...but unfortunately I cannot. All I can do is try to spread the information in the hopes of protecting future little boys. "...when you know better, you do better."

Every day when I change his diapers or bathe him, I see my son's healthy, intact body. It is just as we made him. It is just as God designed him. It is how he was born, and it is how he is meant to be. Who am I to take away his choice to be intact? Every day when I see his intactness, I remember that I chose to respect my son. It reminds me to respect everyone. I think this world could use a little more respect.