Thanksgiving Week 6--Taikuu

So I missed a couple of weeks, but I'll catch them up.☺

 Taikuu ("tay-koo") is the Inupaq word for thanks. It is pretty standard usage up here. I even see it on otherwise-English signs in businesses and such. I like it. I think it's pretty, and also I have a geekish fascination with words that have a double-u.

1. I'm thankful for the gift of literacy, and for all the doors it opens.
2. I'm thankful for the gift of writing, for the fulfillment it brings, for the things I am able to accomplish with it.
3. I'm thankful for the gift of travel, and for many places I have been able to go in the world at various points in my life.
4. I'm thankful for teamwork, and for the fantastic people I work with at The Amethyst Network and other organizations I am part of.
5. I'm so SO thankful for the technology of the internet. That I can communicate with people from around the world, even in real time. I'm thrilled to be able to have video chats with multiple family members at the same time, so we can have a monthly sisters' book club even though we are spread across 4 states and 4 time zones, and so that I can see my grandparents on thanksgiving even though they are 3000 miles away
6. I'm thankful for my family far away. For the phone calls and emails and letters and texts.
7. I'm thankful for my family right here. For the hugs and cuddles and "Honey I'll make dinner tonight"s and "Mommy I'm happy"s. I sure love my crazy boys.

Thanksgiving week 5: Fresh Beginnings

This morning there is a fresh layer of snow on the ground. We had a slight dusting a few weeks ago, but this is the first real snow of the season.
As is the case with many bush towns, Kotzebue has a lot of STUFF around. People save everything (usually in their yards) because you never know when you might need it, and it's expensive to ship things out, so if it's already here you definitely don't want to throw it away. In addition, many houses are made with plywood, sheet metal and tar paper. I joked to my husband last spring that you know you might be in a bush town if you look at a house and can't tell whether it's occupied or set for demolition... A significant number of houses really do look that way.
In short, this is not a pretty town.
Until it snows.
Snow covers all the ugly things with a gentle blanket of white, and suddenly my neighbor's front yard junk heap is just a white mound... the ugliness is gone. (Well, it's not all gone, but it's going, and a little more snow will finish the job...if the mess is big enough, these things can take time.)

This is 1 of our 4 wood piles. The green shed there is also full (about 2 more piles worth).

As I looked out the window this morning I thought of the election results last night. Months of intensity, anger, and even sheer hatred all led up to one night of high emotions: elation for some, depression or resignation for others...I suspect it's some kind of mix for most. All the ugliness--theoretically--is over now. The results are what they are, and whether we like it or not, the decisions have been made. Now we all have a chance to start over fresh, with a new congress, a newly (re)chosen president, and a variety of new laws chosen by the will of the people. I hope we can move forward gracefully and kindly, in spite of whatever personal feelings might be hiding under the snow.

Today I am grateful

1. that the election is over. I hope that the hatred and anger will calm now as well.
2. to have the right to vote. It's only been 90 years that women have had that right in this country.
3. that all the candidates who made significant rape-accepting comments during this campaign (such as that "some girls rape so easy" or that "if it's a legitimate rape the female body can shut [conception] down" or that "having a baby out of wedlock is similar to rape") were DEFEATED. As Stephen Colbert said, yes, abortion is a complex issue and we don't all agree on it. But I thought we agreed on rape. Yes indeed, the people have spoken. We DO agree on rape.
4. for New Hamshire making another first: they were first to ratify the constitution (earning their slogan as "the first state"), 4 years ago they were the first state to have a female majority in their state senate, and last night they were the first ever state to elect a completely female federal delegation and governor.
5. that we have the highest ever percentage of women in congress. 17% was our prior high. As of today, there are 19 women in the senate (with two more races still too close to call). As I explained to a friend, I have never made a political decision based on the candidates sex or race. I have always looked at issues and voting records. I'm not saying that women are superior either. I'm not saying they should run it all... I'm saying they have not been equally represented, and I think it *affects how our legislature functions, so I am happy to see an increasing percentage of women in these roles.
6. that Elizabeth Warren got into the Senate. She is awesome. She is one of the few people I've ever seen that I think may be able to remain unsullied by politics. She has a beautiful track record of truthfulness and wisdom (she's a big proponent of fiscal responsibility, and warned the last administration of the impending financial crisis before it happened but they ignored her). It's just encouraging to see somebody honest slide in from behind and win a big race.
7. and in my one partisan statement of the week, I am very very glad that Barack Obama won.

*How does the number of women in congress affect legislative function? In two ways:
Firstly, 51% of the population is female, but less than 20% of congress is, and obviously that's seriously skewed. Now I grant that either sex could represent either sex, but I think there is still something to women being SO underrepresented. It means that women's concerns (such as maternity leave or maternal mortality rates) are essentially ignored by our congress. Because there are not enough people there who care enough to do anything about them. (The USA has a pathetic record on maternity leave compared to all other first world countries, and our maternal mortality rate is next in line with Albania and other eastern European countries...not what it should be for a country with the most money and the best doctors...)
Secondly--I know this is a stereotype but there IS something to it--men tend to want to win, women tend to be willing to compromise for the common good. In other words, a higher percentage of women in congress may help with bipartisanship and help do away with this gridlock...
So that is why I care about there being more women in congress.

Thanksgiving week 4: Safe and Secure

In the midst of the news about an earthquake in Canada, tsunamis in parts of Alaska (smallish ones, but still related to the earthquake), and of course the massive destruction of Storm Sandy in the eastern parts of the USA, today I am grateful for many things.

1. To have a wood stove, and a huge wood pile that we spent several months building, so that my house can always be warm, even in the absence of electricity or fuel.
2. My gas cook stove (because cooking on the wood stove is not really that hard, but the baking is terrible!)
3. I have food stored in my house. It's not a year's supply, but we could live exclusively on it for a few weeks at least (still rebuilding it after being gone all summer).
4. That I live in not-hurricane country. Because earthquakes and tsunamis don't scare me half as much, I admit. (And maybe that's a matter of habit, but it's true!) I'm also glad to live in not-tornado country. Blizzards don't worry me because of #1, 2 and 3.
5. That my parents taught me frugality and self-sufficiency. Have I said that before? Probably. But I'm very serious about it. As I go through life I keep meeting people who don't know how to cook from scratch, budget, or otherwise be economical...and I am SO grateful that I was taught these things.
6. That all my family and friends in Sandy's path are ok. 
7. For the many people who have worked and are working to help take care of those who are not ok.

My prayers go up for the many people who are suffering right now.

Thanksgiving week 3--Feminism Strikes Again

I'm a few days late on this... but we'll all politely ignore that, ok? It's still the first half of the week. That's close enough!

This week I have been reading a book about the women's movement in the United States from 1960-2008. I was fairly uneducated on all of this, having heard snippets of "bra burning" and "ERA marches" but not really knowing the details of any of it. When Everything Changed by Gail Collins is 400 pages long and I have devoured it in a week. It is fascinating.
As I gain a better understanding of the status quo in 1960, I sympathize with why those feminists were so radical. They had to be. Women fought for 100 years to get the right to vote, but even after that they were limited in many ways. For example, a woman (even a single woman) could not get a credit card or loan unless she had her spouse (or father) to co-sign with her. One principal proudly explained that he loved hiring women teachers because they were just as good as the men "but I can pay them half as much!" As late as 1972, a woman senator was literally forced to share a chair (with a black male senator) in committee, because the committee chairman considered them each to be "only half a person."


Wow we have come a long way. And yet in some areas we continue to fight exactly the same problems. Although I love being a stay at home mom, I recognize that not everyone wants to do that, or is able to do that. While the economy struggles, more and more women feel that they need to work, even if they want to be home with their children. Most women in this country (and certainly teachers) now get paid more than half of men's wages...but the national average is 78%, so the gender gap is still there. Women are half the population, but only 17% of the US congress. Is this because fewer women run for office? Or because the citizenry believe that men are more capable? Regardless, it does mean that most of women's concerns are underrepresented in federal legislation. In households where both parents work, usually the woman is still expected to handle the majority of the housekeeping and cooking. In broken families, women usually keep the children, but about a third of fathers do not contribute financial or other child support. Only 3 of every 100 rapists ever spends even one day behind bars. In other words, we still have a long way to go.

And so in that spirit, I would like to share a list of things that this feminist is grateful for this week

1. That my husband (both financially and otherwise) supports my desire to be a stay at home parent.
2. That my parents (especially my mother) taught me frugality and sustainability as a way of life, so that I have the skills to live modestly and within our means.
3. That I have sufficient education (and in an appropriate field) that I could support my family if I needed too.
4. That I and my family have been able to take advantage of programs such as WIC and medicaid to help us make ends meet when we were struggling.
5. That, in spite of how notoriously low teacher's pay is, that it also comes with good medical benefits.
6. For the many women--and men--who went before me, fighting battles for women (such as getting the right to vote, or to get loans, or own property, or escape abusive marriages) so that there is a little less left to fight for now.
7. For the many women--and men--who are still fighting the good fight, in their many ways. Whether they are teaching their daughters that they are equally important with their sons, or giving them the skills and education to go somewhere in the world. Whether they are making laws or catching babies or counseling victims. And for the many who will continue to do these things in the future.

Thanksgiving week 2, "Committed" and "The Vow"

I don't know if this will continue for all the weeks of thanksgiving this year, but this week as I think over my list of things I'm grateful for, I again find myself pondering over things I have read and seen in recent days.

This week I began reading "Committed: A Love Story" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It was recommended by a friend, and I didn't realize when I got it that it was a memoir (I thought it was more of a marriage advice book). Ms Gilbert had been through a really rough divorce, and swore she would never marry again...but then her boyfriend got deported and they realized that the only way they could be together was to get married... and so she spent a year researching marriage (via both reading and doing interviews around the world), to try to warm up to the idea. In the book she contemplates the religious and social functions of marriage, the purpose of it, and the implications. In many ways she gained a more mature view of marriage, and learned a great deal about what makes marriages work (or not), and how to have a healthier marriage for herself on her second time around. One of the major things she discussed was being responsible for her own happiness, rather than expecting marriage to automatically make her life into a "happily ever after," and she went on at some length about accepting each other as whole people, with our grubby parts as well as our shiny ones.

Last night I watched the movie "The Vow" which is based on a Nicholas Sparks book. In the story, a young married couple got in a car accident and she suffered a serious head injury. After she woke up, she had no memory of her husband or their courtship. She had previously cut off contact with her parents, but after the accident she had no memory of that either, and they were only too happy to have her back--and to cut him out. The husband patiently works to court her and try to get her to fall in love with him all over again. What I loved most about the story was not the (perhaps inevitable) happy Nicholas Sparks ending, but that the whole thing is based (I don't know how loosely) on a true story, and that the real couple is currently married with two kids, even though she never did regain her memory.

So, with those things on my mind, here are the things I am grateful for this week:

1. My husband
2. That my spouse knows my faults not only likes me anyway, but also helps make up the slack with his own strengths. (We both tend to take up the slack for the other.)
3. My egalitarian marriage.
4. The opportunity to be (and support from my spouse in being) a stay at home parent
5. The opportunity to birth and raise children
6. My children themselves, both for the fulfillment they bring me, and for the lessons they teach me.
7. The repeated validation that the most important and worthwhile thing I can be doing with my time and energies right now is to be present with my children, and teach them to love.

Thanksgiving week 1, and Half the Sky

This weekend was Canadian Thanksgiving.
The US celebrates Thanksgiving in about 6 weeks.
Since I began homeschooling, I spend far less time blogging, which I think is good, but I'm going to shoot for weekly posts during this time (because daily ones are laughably unrealistic!) Every week, I plan to post at least 7 things I am grateful for.

 This week's list is much inspired by the PBS Special Half the Sky (which is available to stream for two more days, and then will be available for purchase via pbs--maybe you can talk your local library into getting it. It was fantastic).

The title "Half the Sky" comes from the thought that half the sky is held up by women. The documentary (which is 4 hours long) is based on a book of the same title, written by a pair of journalists who were writing on economic and political issues in southeast asia, and realized that issue after issue related to women.
I recently heard the statistic that women do 40% of the world's work, but control 1% of the world's money. Throughout the world (especially in third world countries and impoverished regions, but truly everywhere) females are regarded as inferior. Sometimes they are even seen as completely expendable. Everything from gender-based abortions or infanticides to rape, forced prostitution, female genital mutilation, and keeping girls out of school to run the house (so that both parents can work)...the lists are long and painful. In watching the documentary, I was struck by two things: 1--how blessed I am to live where and when I do, and 2--how unconscionably selfish it would be if I did not share of my abundance.

And so, without further ado, this week's list of thanksgiving:

1. I am grateful to live in a land of plenty, where even though I may get bored with what is available for dinner, I never have to go without dinner.
2. I am grateful to live in a land where education is readily available to every child, regardless of race, sex, or income, where my parents never had to literally skip meals in order to pay for me to be literate, and where I do not have starve myself to educate my own children.
3. I am grateful for the education that I have.
4. I am grateful to live in a family with people with whom I can feel safe, without fear of being abused, abducted, sold, belittled, or held back from my potential.
5. I am grateful that right now kiva.org is hosting a sponsorship program, so that every new person who signs up (you can do it via me at this link) can send $25 of microloan to someone (of their choice) at no cost to themselves. If you feel able to do so (and truly, we all should) you can add some of your own money as well. If you do, then when it is repaid to you (often within a few months), you can turn around and re-loan that money to someone else. Kiva is a wonderful and reputable organization.
6. I am grateful for the way that modern technology makes it so easy to share of our abundance with those who are in need. (Today, via kiva, I helped a woman in Peru buy a cow, a woman in Tajikistan buy a sewing machine, a woman in Albania send her daughter to school, and a woman in Ukraine buy goods for her store...all without having to leave my chair.)
7. I am grateful for the ability of one person to be a force for good in the world. May I ever be so. May we all be so.

Thanksgiving

"We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." ~Thornton Wilder

If you don't remember it, or haven't read it recently, take the time to read President Monson's talk on gratitude from last conference. If you're not going to do that (be honest), then at the very least watch this little video

"Our minds have a marvelous capacity to notice the unusual; however, the opposite is true as well. The more often we see the things around us--even the beautiful and wonderful things--the more they become invisible to us. That's why we often take things for granted...because we see things so often, we see them less and less."

Now let's all go out and follow President Monson's counsel to "cultivate an attitude of gratitude." ☺

Tender Mercies and Little Joys

This morning's post was pretty dismal, I know. I was definitely in a depressed state both yesterday and this morning when I wrote it. However a good shower, a comfortable night's sleep, and just writing out all my story has been cathartic and I'm feeling better now. Not 100%, but better.
Our trip did have good parts, and that's what this post is about.
Tender Mercies

• The new transmission for the van was under warranty--no monetary cost to us. They also fixed the back seat which has been stuck (it's supposed to be easily removable but we haven't been able to get it to pop loose in the last year or so).
• When the van went kapoot (or, rather, when the transmission went kapoot) we were 1--in a decent sized city (Alaska only has a couple of those, and it's literally hundreds of miles between them) 2--that city had a Kia dealership (Our hometown does not, so if it had died at home we would have been worse off...)
  
• All the kids are pretty good travelers
• The audiobook "The Lightning Thief: Percy Jackson and the Olympians" (thank you public library!) which got us through many hours in the car...and led to some amusing discussions of Greek Mythology as well.
• Bear's bright orange pants (his favorites) which made it very easy to find him even on a crowded playground.

Little Joys

• Seeing Bear's grins when we said that yes he could go on "the horses" (carousel) and when he picked out "the stripy horse" (zebra) and as he came around and around on his first carousel ride. (Daddy went next to him, because Mommy gets nauseous on merry-go-rounds.)
• The fact that every time the carousel came around, Wolf was in a different position on the horse...

• Wolf's getting up before anyone else and go out to chop wood...because he was so excited about being allowed to do the work. (OK, I think maybe we can get a wood stove now ☺)
• Watching Bear run around everywhere barefoot--yes, including outside in campgrounds, over gravel, etc. He just likes being barefoot apparently. He took off his shoes at every opportunity.
• Watching as Wolf grows into a great babysitter
  
• I came home to four packages--three etsy trades plus a box from my secret sister.
• A beautiful sunset over the ocean (at 11:15pm) and Mt Illiamna on the way home

Count Your Blessings

I have had a long and trying last month or so. There have been emotional, financial, scholastic, social, and health issues in our family; none of them small, but most of them of such a nature that privacy is warranted and thus I've had them pent up inside and they have been eating away at me. This last weekend my husband was gone for two days (and two nights) for a conference he had to go to, and as I was doing the single parent thing yet again I had a bit of a breakdown. I ran out of coping skills. I got tired of being strong all the time.
Thankfully some sweet friends buoyed me with encouraging words and even brought me dinner and ice cream. I am grateful to them for supporting me when I needed it, and realize that in spite of all the struggles we face right now I need to be better about taking the time to count my blessings.
I am grateful for a husband who works hard to provide for our family, who supports my staying home with our kids, and who supports me in my other ambitions as well (like the book I'm writing).
I am grateful for a mother who is always there to talk to, and who has unlimited long distance calling (which I don't) and frequently answers the phone with "shall I call you right back so we can talk for a while?"
I am grateful for my physical health, and the health of my spouse and kids.
I am grateful to have a functional computer again.
I am grateful for the fellowship and support I have with friends online.
I am grateful for the 'big picture' worldview that the gospel of Christ brings me.
I am grateful for the peace brought by prayer.
I am grateful for my sight.
I am grateful for my mobility.
I am grateful to live in a beautiful place.
I am grateful for the friends and neighbors I have here.
I am grateful that the weather is warming (a little) and that I'm able to turn down the heaters and reduce the bills.
I am grateful to not be in Pelican!

Little things I ♥ that make me happy

• The bubbles that show that my yeast/water mixture is growing and ready to be added to the bread dough.
• Putting a diaper on my baby and knowing that *I* made it.
• Watching any member of my family use or wear something that I made for them.
• Holding an armful of warm, clean, soft cloth diapers straight from the dryer.
• Baby smiles
• Toddler laughs
• Hugs from my kids
• Cuddles with my Honey
• When my Hubby says "It's your call, I'll support whatever you want to do" ♥
• The smell of bread baking, and eating freshly-baked bread
• The sense of accomplishment when I finish something--making a meal, baking bread, sewing or knitting something, etc.
• Hearing that someone loved something I made for them (whether it was a business transaction or a gift).
• Using my glass bowls & pans, bamboo cutting boards, stainless steel utensils, pans & measuring cups, wooden spoons, or other quality kitchen tools that my Hubby has been giving me at almost every birthday and Christmas since we got married.
• Using my bernina sewing machine. Having a good quality tool makes the work so much nicer.
• Using my knitpicks options knitting needles.
• Going to unload the dishwasher and discovering that someone else did it for me.
• Waking up and realizing that I've just slept for 4 continuous hours.
• Getting comments on my blog posts.

The Greatest Gift I Ever Got

This summer my dad's family had a big reunion. My dad had put together an activity that involved asking questions (and collecting answers) from his parents and all his siblings, and then putting the unlabeled answers on a page and everyone trying to guess who had given which answer.
One of the questions was "What was the best gift you ever received from a family member?" Answers were varied of course, but of 9 responses, only two or three were purchased items. All the others were handmade or were actions instead of things, including "the letter I got from the kids on fathers day," "green needle-point diaper bag," "visits to my home," and "my better half." Great gifts are just not about the money.
They never have been.

When one of my brothers was about 6 or 7 he was given a little plastic marble run. It had about 20 pieces of track and a few connectors and a half dozen marbles. I'm sure it was not terribly expensive, but he enjoyed it. As the years passed, of course, he outgrew it. It sat on his shelf collecting dust until one year he decided to give it to our younger brother--who was then 6 or 7 himself. The younger brother also got several years of enjoyment out of it before it ended up on a back shelf. Two years ago my oldest son (age 7!) had expressed interest in a marble run, but we had been unable to find one we could afford. I happened to mention it to my then-teenage brother, and he said "I have one, it's getting old, but I would love to give it to him if you think he would like it..." So my brother passed the marble run along to my son, and yet another little boy found hours of amusement in this simple toy. Now Wolf is more interested in other things, and while he has not formally given the marble run to Bear, it is Bear who now plays with it almost daily. Some of the pieces are cracking, but the marbles run down the tracks as well as they ever did (and as loudly as they ever did too). ☺

Often we get caught up with the notion that a gift must be something purchased, something new, something fancy or hot-off-the-presses. The truth is that the best gifts are often things that are tried and true and yes, often used. When Wolf turned 7 we had gone to the trouble to get a somewhat expensive but (we thought) very exciting birthday gift for him. He was thrilled with it...until two minutes later when he opened something that Hubby had decided to wrap up at the last minute: a big baggie full of his 20-year-old plastic army men. Guess which toy has seen the most playtime?!

I remember one year when I was in my early teens and my little brother was 2 or 3. He was just learning about giving, and in the excitement of the holiday, as we watched the pile of gifts under the tree grow, he started asking for help wrapping up this or that to give to other family members. By the time Christmas Day rolled around he had a virtually empty toy box because he had wrapped almost every one of his toys (certainly all his favorites) to give to all of us. Of course none of us particularly wanted little teddy bears or trucks, but when we tried to sneak them back into his toy box he would get them out and bring them back to us "I gave this to you!" he'd announce. He missed his toys, but he really wanted to give to the people he loved. This is the kind of attitude that we hope to cultivate with our children. (Luckily for this little brother, his birthday was less than a month after Christmas, and we were able to wrap up all his toys and give them all back to him. He was very happy to have his favorite things back. ☺)

Since we've established our new Christmas gifting plan, I have been talking with the boys about what they want to give to the other family members (daddy will help them figure out things for me, but I tend to head up the gifts for everyone else--writing the wish lists and coordinating with grandmas--so I'm helping them with most gifts). I was talking with Bear one night, asking him what kinds of things he liked to play with, and he mentioned that he really liked "the blue lego motorcycle" (it's Wolf's, but Bear plays with it a lot). From the other side of the room I heard "ooooooo!" from Wolf...later, when I was talking with Wolf, he said "I think I will give Bear that blue motorcycle, and a guy to go on it."
I asked Wolf if he'd prefer to buy something for Bear (I'm subsidizing, so he certainly could). He said he'd rather give the blue motorcycle. That blue motorcycle is missing one of the handlebars, and it's nothing like new. In fact, it was my blue motorcycle loooong ago (I passed my bucket of legos along to Wolf a couple of years ago). The mainstream world would probably look upon that blue motorcycle as a poor gift indeed...but I think that Bear is going to love it.

What is the greatest gift I ever got? I'm not sure, but I don't think it was something off my wish list. Of course I appreciate getting things I need or want, but it's usually the things that weren't on my list that are the most touching. It might be the co-sleeper that Hubby built for me (since we couldn't afford to buy one and couldn't fit the crib beside the bed in our small bedroom). It might be the framed, hand-written note from my then-teenage sister "sisters by nature ~ friends by choice." Perhaps the plug-in l.e.d. nightlight of praying hands that my brother gave to me in college, and which now lights my children's bedroom, or my favorite candy bar (from that same brother) when we were both too little to afford anything bigger. Maybe it's the phrase my husband had engraved on the inside of my wedding ring (which was free at the store where we bought the rings). Maybe it's my mother's ring, which admittedly did cost some money, but has far more value in sentiment than in dollars. I still think the greatest gift I've ever given was the group gift my siblings gave to my parents two years ago. It also involved money, but was more about sentiment than funds.
I'm not saying that great gifts cannot be purchased items, just that the greatness of a gift is not correlated to its cost.

What are some great gifts you have gotten? Or given?

Facebook Friday

Saturday 11/28
1:03pm
Jenni had a crying baby but needed to finish getting the laundry into the drier before getting him, so the toddler offered to nurse the baby!
[I chuckled at his suggestion and said "you're gonna nurse the baby for me huh? That's very nice of you!" And he cuddled up next to the baby for a few moments, then announced that they were done, and he ran off again. *shrug*]
4:33pm
Jenni made the world's cutest diaper (yet again...I've done that so many times), and put it on the baby...and he promptly pooped in it. Way to break it in kiddo. -------->
[It's an all-in-one with velour inner and two rows of snaps to make the rise adjustable...]

Monday 11/30
9:05am
Jenni wishes that the two little ones would take turns needing me rather than wanting me at the same times in the middle of the night...I'd really like to sleep of course, but if they'd take turns then at least I could attend to them both, rather than having to ignore one and winding up with crying that wakes the whole house.
11:43am
Jenni loves looking at the snow...but upon going to the pediatrician's this morning she remembers how much she hates driving in it.
6:01pm
Jenni will not be online on Tuesdays. Must sew and knit more. Must stare at screen less. If you ever catch me online on a Tuesday then chew me out, ok?! (Peer pressure at its finest!!)

Tuesday 12/1 I sewed and knitted and played with my kids. ☺

Wednesday 12/2
9:52am
Jenni is thankful for gripe water.
1:43pm
Jenni is so blessed: healthy kids, generous friends, a break in the clouds, a season of giving, and the most beautiful place on earth to call home.


Friday 12/4
9:22am
Jenni's sister is coming to visit!
10:13am
Jenni WILL BE COMPLETELY HONEST... you can ask me ONE question. Any question, no matter how crazy. I WILL answer no matter what. You have my FULL honesty, but I DARE you to put this as your status and see what questions you get...
[no questions yet...I'll answer you in the comments here too though. I find it fascinating what people think to ask!]
10:20am
Jenni wishes the baby would stay latched on without needing my help so much. I got spoiled nursing a toddler and forgot how much work it can be with an infant!!

Reconsidering Christmas Gifts

Last year I did daily posts throughout the month prior to Christmas, and while that was really fun for me (and hopefully for you!) I have a newborn this year and don't have that kind of energy! Furthermore, I've said a lot of the profound things I wanted to say!! BUT, I do still have a few topics for thoughtful posts this season, so every week or so I'll be waxing philosophical again.
Enjoy my (holiday) monday musings!

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

In the past, Hubby and I have typically set a dollar budget for Christmas (and then typically tried to get as many items as possible within that budget). On the one hand it meant we kept Christmas 'modest' in a monetary sense, which I think is good for moving away from the greed and more toward the giving and Christ-centered holiday that we want to teach our children...on the other hand the whole stress over how much stuff can we get for how little money kinda defeated the point of it all.

So this year we were talking about it and I brought up the idea of only having 3 gifts per person (since the Wise Men brought the Christ Child three gifts). Some people make it more specific where "The gold gift is something they want. The frankincense gift is something they need, like socks. And the myrrh gift is something to nurture their souls." (I've also heard the idea of giving 4 gifts: "something they want, something they need, something to wear, and something to read.") These ideas felt closer to where we wanted to be, and yet neither was quite what we wanted, because one of the biggest issues is that we want our kids to care about the giving side of Christmas, so we want to encourage/help them to give to the other family members. Then Hubby came up with a brilliant idea!
We have concluded that from here on out each person in the family will get just one gift from each other family member. While the kids are young we will help them pick out gifts for each other person (and we'll subsidize) but as they get older we'll encourage them to think of gifts themselves (we'll still subsidize--within reason!). So for example Bear will get one gift each from dad, mom, Wolf, Santa, and each set of grandparents (not sure if we're gonna have gifts 'from' the baby brother this year, since he'll only be a few weeks old!). BUT, I'll also be helping Bear choose/give gifts to each other family member as well.
In the long run, we figure we'll be spending about the same amount of money, because there will only be one gift from mom, and one from dad (rather than several from us)...things will just have different 'from' labels, and be thought of/chosen by different people rather than all from mom and dad. (Hubby likes to do the Santa thing, so that will still happen...but I'm currently trying to negotiate for Santa gifts to be things that fit inside the stocking, so they will be small...keep the fun and 'magic' of the idea of Santa, but stay away from the greedy side of it. )

Anyway, I'm really excited because it will still keep Christmas spending/greed/stress to a real minimum, but this idea feels like we're going at it from the other direction--it's not about the dollar amount or the number of gifts, but since we each get to pick out just one gift for each other person, each of us is going to end up making it more personal and meaningful, you know? Especially as the kids get older I'm hoping to encourage homemade things or passing along things (like books or toys that they've outgrown). It feels so much better than if we were just trying to pack in the maximum possible bang for our buck.

Facebook Friday

Sunday 11/22
Jenni wonders why people always ask if the baby is "a good baby." Of course he's good. He's straight from Heaven. Some babies have more needs than others, but they are ALL good.

Monday 11/23
...forgot how much harder it is to nurse a LITTLE baby at the computer...he doesn't hold on by himself very well!

Tuesday 11/24
... loves that new baby smell...mmm, milk breath!

Wednesday 11/25
... is going grocery shopping, to the post office, and to my 2wk postpartum visit with the midwife...Hubby is back to work and I'm back to normal life. I'm not sure if it's exciting or sad that the babymoon is over.

Thursday 11/26
Thanksgiving Day
...is thankful for three little guys and a big guy
[and also for the church friends who invited us to join them at their inn--along with about 30 other people--for Thanksgiving dinner and 6 hours of friends to play with and good conversation.]

Friday 11/27
...is thinking about putting up some twinkle lights in the window...betcha Eagle will love them. (I know Bear will.)
[Christmas-related stuff is officially allowed now that Thanksgiving has passed]

Musings on Contentment

Why is it that so few people are content? Why does it seem that the grass is always greener elsewhere? Some other job, some other house, some other city, some other partner... Why are we always saying "I would be happy if only I had _____"? How is it that we become so fixated on what we don't have that we forget what we do have?
It's something of an epidemic I think, and it's not a healthy one. Yes, it is good to make progress in life, to make changes and improvements, and to "move up in the world." BUT, most often the changes and improvements that need to be made are not in our environment but in ourselves.
The truth is that no thing, no person, no job, no house, no place will ever be perfectly perfect. I know people who spent vast quantities of money building their dream home, and almost as soon as it was finished they found aspects of it to dislike. Couples who are "totally in love" have divorced within a year of the wedding. The ideal job inevitably loses some of its excitement , and the perfect city reveals itself to have rainy days, cranky people, and bad traffic just like anywhere else.

I am convinced that contentment is not something that happens to us, but rather it is something that we choose. Contentment is an attitude. Life will always have imperfections, but scripture teaches us that "man is that he might have joy" and I take God at His word on that. If we are meant to be happy, but circumstances will never be perfect, then clearly we can--and should--make the choice to be happy regardless of our circumstances.
I know that is usually easier said than done. I have to frequently remind myself to notice the little things that are good and right in my life and world. Sometimes they seem elusive, but the more I practice finding them the easier they become to find. Last year this month I issued a Thanksgiving Challenge to myself and to any readers who cared to join me--on Thanksgiving Day I posted 365 things I was thankful for (one for each day of the year). When I started writing the list it felt slow, laborious even, to come up with so many things...but as I progressed through the list it became easier and easier. When I reached #365 I realized that I could think of a half dozen more things to boot.

There is always something to be discontent about...but there is always something to be content about too. The real difference between contentment and discontentment is not what kind of life you have, but which things you choose to focus on.

So no, this year I'm not issuing a formal Thanksgiving Challenge like I did last year, however I am issuing an informal one: Take a good look at yourself and your level of personal contentment. If you are happy, then good for you! If you are not happy, then step up to the plate and make the choice to get happy--to make contentment yours. Because it's there available to all of us, if we'll just make the choice to have it.

Because God Cares

Every once in a while one gets a slap-in-the-face reminder of the fact that yes, God is paying attention, and yes, He does care.
We may be without a job (although a few more interviews have felt promising), and unable to sell our house (although we did find some new renters who will move in August 1--giving us enough time to do a little work on the place)...but yes, God is paying attention.

Some time ago, when we learned that we'd be coming to Utah for the summer, Hubby had approached Wolf about taking a special father-son camping trip for a few days. Wolf asked could they please go to Grand Canyon. We spent the last week camping near Bryce Canyon at a reunion with my dad's side of the family, and as plans came together we realized that the smart thing to do would be for Wolf and daddy to depart for their trip directly from the reunion, and for me and Bear to catch a ride back north with my folks (who agreed to drop us off at my in-laws home where we're staying this summer).
So far so good.
Friday morning Wolf and Hubby loaded up and headed out. My in-laws had lent us their tent trailer for the trip (taking pity on the pregnant woman I guess!) and my parents hitched it to their van to haul back up and drop off along with Bear and me. We drove for over 4 hours with a packed-full extended-length van, pulling a tent trailer, with 2 dogs and 8 people (including the pregnant lady and toddler) through the center of Utah. We were not on the interstate because we knew we'd have to drive slow anyway and figured the old state road was fewer miles. We passed cars occasionally (or, I should say, they passed us!) but there were very few people out there. The trip was completely uneventful. As we backed the trailer into my in-laws driveway some red fluid started gushing out from under the van, and it died and refused to restart. We enlisted some help and pulled the trailer into place by hand, and had to call a tow truck for the van. It will probably not be ready until Tuesday (Monday if they are lucky). My parents and siblings had planned to drive on up to grandma's house in Idaho today, but instead they are stuck here through the weekend...
...but what a blessing to be stuck here, in a large home with hospitable people (not in an expensive and/or grungy motel, and/or the middle of nowhere). There is room for everyone to sleep here (yeah, we did put a couple of them in the tent trailer, but there are spare beds too). There are showers and a kitchen and generous hosts who simply smiled and said "you're family, and this is what family is for."

Happy Resurrection Day

I love this Easter song (appropriately titled "Easter Song"). It's written by 2nd Chapter of Acts, and here performed by one of my favorite acapella groups, Glad.



(for those who can't see it embedded, here is the direct link to see it at youtube)

Thankful Thursday

This week I particularly needed to remind myself of the things I am thankful for.

Long-distance telephone and phone cards
Orange juice
Bacon
Homemade yogurt
Homemade fudgy wudgy brownies
A little boy who loves to help
A bigger boy who loves to help with his little brother
That I can sew, that I enjoy it, and that I’m even able to bring in a little money doing something I love
That we got paid this week
That we have our taxes done and will have our refund soon (and that it’s bigger than I expected!)
That Bear hasn’t really nursed at night in a week!
Finally, I am thankful for cloth pads. They are so much more comfortable than disposables…it was a miscarriage that spurred me to make the switch in the first place, but this is the first time I’ve actually used them for one. I’m thankful that they are comfortable. I’m thankful for velour! I’m thankful that when I used them all up in one day I was able to make some new ones while I waited for the laundry—and don’t underestimate the happiness quotient associated with pretty new pads! I sew a lot of pads for other people, but it had been a looong time since I made any new ones for myself, and I’d never made myself any with velour!

Season of Light

You probably noticed my new banner there at the top...Winter 2008, the season of light...
Since posting about Santa Lucia's day this weekend I've been thinking about how so many celebrations at this time of year focus on light. (You haven't even seen the posts I've written for hanukkah and solstice!) I've been thinking about how illogical it is to celebrate Christ's birth at a time of year when we know it could not have really happened (the facts about shepherding teach us that shepherds would have only been in the fields at night in spring or fall, and my own religion teaches that Jesus was born in April). Why then should we celebrate birth and life in winter rather than in spring? Because this is the season of light! All faiths (and non-faiths) seem to recognize that. When the sunlight wanes, we realize its strength, and rejoice in the knowledge of its return. We light candles and fires, and cling to one another in fellowship and love as we walk forward toward the increasing light.
In the dark winter of eternity--the time when we live apart from the One Light--we can cling to one another in fellowship and love, creating our own little lights to share, and walking foward toward the time when His Light will be seen by everyone, and when Lightness and Goodness will rule the universe.

In the Middle of a Miracle

God does notice us, and he watches over us.
But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs.
~Spencer W Kimball, 1974

This year I had the opportunity to be a part of a miracle.
I had this little scrap of pretty blue fabric with the Star of David on it. It had been tucked away for a couple of years, with the thought that maybe I could make some beanbags or something with it. This year I dug it out and did just that, thinking that beanbags might sell in my etsy shop. I made a little trio of beanbags, took photos, and made the listing...
And then I was reading along in the MDC thread about the Holiday Helpers. I have mentioned before how I like to help with HH. The coordinator mentioned that many people were supplying clothing and gift cards, but they really wanted to try to provide at least one toy for each child on the list, and did anyone have toys they could contribute. I had the immediate urging to ask if there were any Jewish families in need. Why yes, family #63 was Jewish. So I went and read their profile. They have a toddler who is just a few months younger than Bear, and they actually had beanbags specifically on their list of hoped-for items!

Only one family (of over 200) was Jewish.

Only one family had beanbags on their list.

It was the same family.

And I had a trio of perfect Chanukah beanbags sitting in a box under my sewing desk.

I had sewn a set of beanbags with the thought that they might earn me a little money. I didn't know at the time that God was going to use me to bless a family in need. When I learned the truth, I was overwhelmed. Truly, God's tender mercies made a little miracle for this family, and I was just blessed enough to get to be in the middle of it.