"Loving God More than We Love The World"

I'm teaching the lesson in Relief Society (the women's organization) in church today. Here is the outline of my lesson. The lesson from the manual is here. My thanks to The Exponent for their ideas about the lesson as well (I used several of them).

The parts in bold are the section headings from the manual. The parts in italics are the questions I asked of the class (and the parts [in brackets] following them are answers I anticipate, or the direction I will guide the discussion into if needed]. Quoted things are indented.

The title of this lesson is “Loving God more than we love the world”

I want to begin by defining what it is to love God, and then move into what it is to love the world.

 In October 2012 conference Elder Holland told the story of the eleven remaining apostles immediately after Christ’s death and resurrection. They were not sure what they should do now that Christ was not there, so they returned to their fishing boats. Christ came to them on the beach and told them that they should not be still fishing, because they should be changed because of their time with Him. This is when He asks Peter “do you love me” and Peter says yes he does. Jesus tells him “if you love me, feed my sheep.”

[quoting from his talk]

My beloved brothers and sisters, I am not certain just what our experience will be on Judgment Day, but I will be very surprised if at some point in that conversation, God does not ask us exactly what Christ asked Peter: “Did you love me?” I think He will want to know if in our very mortal, very inadequate, and sometimes childish grasp of things, did we at least understand one commandment, the first and greatest commandment of them all—“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind.” And if at such a moment we can stammer out, “Yea, Lord, thou knowest that I love thee,” then He may remind us that the crowning characteristic of love is always loyalty.
“If ye love me, keep my commandments,” Jesus said. So we have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. We have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. We can’t quit and we can’t go back. After an encounter with the living Son of the living God, nothing is ever again to be as it was before. The Crucifixion, Atonement, and Resurrection of Jesus Christ mark the beginning of a Christian life, not the end of it. It was this truth, this reality, that allowed a handful of Galilean fishermen-turned-again-Apostles without “a single synagogue or sword” to leave those nets a second time and go on to shape the history of the world in which we now live. 

I have often noticed that basically every commandment we have, from the ten commandments on down, falls into one of the “two great commandments” of loving God and loving our neighbor as ourselves.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. All hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” ~ John Lennon 

We’ve been told that faith is the opposite of fear, and also that it drives it out. I like this comparison of faith and love, because it goes right along with the idea that if we have the faith to love God, then we’ll show it in fearless love of others.

God shows us an example of unconditional love, forgiving us our faults and offering support in our struggles. Julian of Norwich was an early Christian mystic and she said “If there is anywhere on earth a lover of God who is always kept safe, I know nothing of it, for it was not shown to me. But this was shown: that in falling and rising again we are always kept in that same precious love.”

As our Heavenly Parents love us, so we are to show our love in return by serving our neighbor. And who is our neighbor? In the story of the Good Samaritan the neighbor was simply someone who was there, who was willing and able to help, regardless of religious, political, or economic differences.

What acts does Elder Holland suggest we perform to show our love for God? 
[neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, truth to defend, wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, we have a life of devoted discipleship]

How do you show love for God in your daily acts? 

[Going back to faith and love over fear…my story of picking up the old man on Christmas Eve if there is time]

Christ says that when we do something for another person—ANY other person—then we are doing it for Him. When we clothe the naked, feed the hungry, mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort, we are loving God.

Most of us have probably heard the quote from President Kimball “God does notice us, and he watches over us. But it is usually through another person that he meets our needs. Therefore, it is vital that we serve each other.”

I really like the way that Mother Theresa put it “I’m a little pencil in the hand of a writing God, who is sending a love letter to the world.”
Do you ever feel like God’s little pencil? In what ways? 


When people allow worldliness to pervade their minds and hearts, they turn their backs on eternal principles. 

Now that we’ve established what it looks like to love God, let’s move on to what it is to love the world.

In this lesson, President Snow discusses a time in church history where many people had powerful spiritual experiences during the dedication of the Kirtland Temple, including prophesying, speaking in tongues, and seeing and hearing angels. Shortly afterward there was a great deal of speculation—financial risk-taking—going on in the area. Many of the church members got involved in it, and divisions and contention came among them because of it. At every level people were leaving the church, even including several of the apostles, all because their focus on personal gain—or potential personal gain—was the center of their focus and they stopped remembering the Lord.

So what do we mean when we talk about “worldliness” or loving the world? 
How did it happen then? How can it happen to us now? 

From the manual:

The god of the world is the gold and the silver. The world worships this god. It is all-powerful to them, though they might not be willing to acknowledge it. Now, it is designed, in the providence of God, that the Latter-day Saints should show whether they have so far advanced in the knowledge, in the wisdom and in the power of God that they cannot be overcome by the god of the world. We must come to that point. We have also got to reach another standard, a higher plane: we have got to love God more than we love the world, more than we love gold or silver, and love our neighbor as ourselves. 

Can someone do their callings, pay their tithing, read their scriptures, come to meetings every week and still succumb to worldliness?
[Obviously yes]
Are there people outside the church who are loving and serving and doing good in the world?
[Obviously yes]

We have covenanted to separate ourselves from worldliness and devote ourselves to the kingdom of God. 

From the manual:

I thank God that in these times of corruption and wickedness in the world, we have holy and righteous men and women who can devote those superior talents which God has bestowed upon them to His praise and glory. And I might say further, that there are thousands of virtuous and honorable men and women, whom the Lord has gathered out from the nations, that are also willing to devote their time and talents to aid in accomplishing the work of God in the interest of His children. 

How do you avoid worldliness in your daily life? 
How can we help others do so?
[working long hours instead of spending time with family or other loved ones, focusing on social status, overconsumption of worldly goods, vanity, intolerance of other cultures, religions, political positions, _________]

From Matthew 6:

19 Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:
21 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
24 No [one] can serve two masters. 

We follow the Savior’s example when we refuse to trade the glories of eternity for the riches of the world.

From the manual:

Now let me ask the question, Who [does] possess anything, who can really and truly call any of this world’s goods [her] own? I do not presume to, I am merely a steward over a very little, and unto God I am held accountable for its use and disposition… Who shall say that the rich, or those that possess many talents, have any better hope or prospect to inherit these blessings than the poor, or those who have but one talent? As I understand it, [one person] who lives according to the law of the Gospel, and is honest and faithful in his [or her] calling, that [person] is just as eligible to the receiving of these and all the blessings of the New and Everlasting Covenant as any other [person]. 

I think sometimes we have a hard time translating Jesus’ example to a modern context. He walked around the desert healing people and telling stories, but we have jobs and kids and laundry to do. However there is a modern day person who I think does an amazing job of following the Savior’s example and that is Pope Francis. I’m hoping that you have seen some of the many articles about him. He may not heal people or feed them by the thousand, but he does talk with them, pray with them, and hug them. He made the Vatican get rid of the expensive mercedes and since then he’s been using inexpensive and used vehicles. He keeps setting aside the extravagant things, and instead spending his time and energy with people, especially those who are poor, sick, disabled, disfigured, or otherwise disenfranchised.

From Matthew 25

34 Then shall the King say unto them…Come, ye blessed, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world:
35 For I was hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:
36 Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.
37 Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?
38 When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?
39 Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?
40 And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these, ye have done it unto me.

What can we do to make sure we are loving God more than the world?

 My testimony that serving others makes us happy. 

Why this Pro-Lifer Votes 'Pro-Choice' (for now)

I hope you don't mind if I share a thought on an issue (which is a realization that led me to shift my political stances significantly a few years ago).

I am heartily pro-life. In the past I had sometimes let that issue be the single issue that determined who I voted for. After all, killing babies is evil, so anyone who doesn't fight abortion must also be evil. But in light of the facts I've changed my mind.

I appreciate that there are a GREAT many arguments about when a baby becomes a baby...certainly in the first few hours or days after the sperm meets the egg it doesn't seem like much of a baby. A significant number of these joinings don't manage to implant in the uterus and are miscarried...sometimes this is the result of a birth control pill or an IUD or something like a morning-after-pill, and probably just as often it just happens naturally. I, personally, do not consider this to be an abortion. I think that morning after pills should be readily available to victims of rape and incest, and you know what, frankly, probably to anyone who wants them. A morning after pill taken the day after sex works the same way as a birth control pill taken the day before.
Once we get past implantation though, things change. Human babies have a heartbeat by about 5 weeks gestation (this is 1 week after mom has missed her period, or within a few days of when she gets a positive pregnancy test). I know plenty of people who will argue about whether the spirit/soul of the child is in there yet at this stage--the baby certainly doesn't look very human yet. [see image]
But a heartbeat seems to me to be a fair designation of "life." In other words, I think a baby is a baby by the time that mommy knows it is there.

Without equivocation, I affirm that I want to protect the lives of babies before they are born. I also state, equally vehemently, that I want to protect the lives of people of all ages after they are born. I think that someone who values life needs to value comprehensive healthcare and welfare programs for the impoverished, because every year far more people die preventable deaths outside of wombs than in them.

I really hate abortion, personally. I cannot imagine a circumstance where I would ever have one, nor would I ever advise a friend to do so.  BUT, currently our society has SO LITTLE support for poor parents, single parents, working mothers, etc that I have sympathy for why some women feel that they simply cannot have a(nother) baby. They can't afford the child, the diapers, the food, the clothes, the childcare, etc etc. Giving up babies to adoption is stigmatized, keeping a baby and raising it alone is stigmatized... it's a lose-lose-lose situation. Some of these women are married and simply feel they cannot afford another baby, or are afraid to bring a child into an abusive situation. I know we sensationalize stories about abortions for gender-selection and things like that, but those are such a small minority. The one person I have personally known who got an abortion did so because she had been drinking and using drugs at the time she conceived and she feared that her actions would harm the child for a lifetime. She considered abortion the humane choice. Whether anyone else agrees with her is not the point. The point is that she took the matter seriously, and was trying to make a moral choice from her perspective.

If we make abortion illegal, then women are still going to do it, but instead of going to doctors in clean offices they will be doing it with coat hangers in basements...that's what they were doing before 1972 and I have no hesitation in thinking they will do it again. Women used to die from those abortions. Yes, babies are dying now, but the death toll was twice as high when both baby and mother died. Making something illegal doesn't make it stop. Consider marijuana! Or the speakeasies during prohibition!

I would love to see the abortion rates go down in this country, but I don't think that overturning Roe vs Wade is the solution. In order to reduce the abortion rate, the first step is to reduce those unwanted pregnancies. This requires easy and affordable access to contraceptives for any woman who wants them. It requires reducing the cultural stigma that surrounds rape, so that women who are raped will not be afraid to go to the hospital (and get the morning after pill). It should include reducing rape--a good first step there would be to prosecute and punish more than 3 of every 100 rapists, or to even report more than the half that get reported currently. It also requires more comprehensive sex education for every young person in the country. I love the idea of having parents do this teaching, but since most of them don't, then it should be available in schools. (Abstinence is a great part of sex ed, but should never be the only thing taught, because there will always be kids who simply are not going to do it.)
Once we've reduced the number of unplanned pregnancies, there remains the question of how to address the ones that do happen. Here again, society needs to step up. These women and girls need to be supported. They need to know that if they have this baby, they will be able to afford those diapers and clothes, that food, that childcare. They need people around them who will help them through the pregnancy, birth, and parenting processes. If they choose to give the child up for adoption, they need to have the option of choosing the adoptive parents, having an open or closed adoption, or whatever else feels most comfortable to them. AND they need to be supported before, during, and after the adoptive process (I hear that giving up a child for adoption can feel very much like losing a child, and that intense grieving is normal, even for a mother who felt sure in her choice. If she felt pressured into it at all, I'm sure it is much worse.)

I am pro-life, but I believe that abortion needs to remain legal in this country, at least for now. I certainly support there being some limitations and restrictions, but until the social structure and support is in place for these women and girls, I find it counter-productive to try to make abortion entirely illegal. There is a letter here which provides an excellent example of someone who is trying to work on that social support (I know it's long, but it is really really good). It is one tiny step and we have so much further to go, but it is heading in the right direction. My hope (and my vote) go toward supporting the social policies that will reduce the unplanned pregnancies, and support those who have them: it is the most pro-life option I can think of.

Thanksgiving week 1, and Half the Sky

This weekend was Canadian Thanksgiving.
The US celebrates Thanksgiving in about 6 weeks.
Since I began homeschooling, I spend far less time blogging, which I think is good, but I'm going to shoot for weekly posts during this time (because daily ones are laughably unrealistic!) Every week, I plan to post at least 7 things I am grateful for.

 This week's list is much inspired by the PBS Special Half the Sky (which is available to stream for two more days, and then will be available for purchase via pbs--maybe you can talk your local library into getting it. It was fantastic).

The title "Half the Sky" comes from the thought that half the sky is held up by women. The documentary (which is 4 hours long) is based on a book of the same title, written by a pair of journalists who were writing on economic and political issues in southeast asia, and realized that issue after issue related to women.
I recently heard the statistic that women do 40% of the world's work, but control 1% of the world's money. Throughout the world (especially in third world countries and impoverished regions, but truly everywhere) females are regarded as inferior. Sometimes they are even seen as completely expendable. Everything from gender-based abortions or infanticides to rape, forced prostitution, female genital mutilation, and keeping girls out of school to run the house (so that both parents can work)...the lists are long and painful. In watching the documentary, I was struck by two things: 1--how blessed I am to live where and when I do, and 2--how unconscionably selfish it would be if I did not share of my abundance.

And so, without further ado, this week's list of thanksgiving:

1. I am grateful to live in a land of plenty, where even though I may get bored with what is available for dinner, I never have to go without dinner.
2. I am grateful to live in a land where education is readily available to every child, regardless of race, sex, or income, where my parents never had to literally skip meals in order to pay for me to be literate, and where I do not have starve myself to educate my own children.
3. I am grateful for the education that I have.
4. I am grateful to live in a family with people with whom I can feel safe, without fear of being abused, abducted, sold, belittled, or held back from my potential.
5. I am grateful that right now kiva.org is hosting a sponsorship program, so that every new person who signs up (you can do it via me at this link) can send $25 of microloan to someone (of their choice) at no cost to themselves. If you feel able to do so (and truly, we all should) you can add some of your own money as well. If you do, then when it is repaid to you (often within a few months), you can turn around and re-loan that money to someone else. Kiva is a wonderful and reputable organization.
6. I am grateful for the way that modern technology makes it so easy to share of our abundance with those who are in need. (Today, via kiva, I helped a woman in Peru buy a cow, a woman in Tajikistan buy a sewing machine, a woman in Albania send her daughter to school, and a woman in Ukraine buy goods for her store...all without having to leave my chair.)
7. I am grateful for the ability of one person to be a force for good in the world. May I ever be so. May we all be so.

On Assumptions and Attribution, or, In Defense of Wild-Eyed Idealism

"Wild-eyed idealism is noble, wonderful, and impractical. Because we ourselves do good, and because we so ardently want everyone to be good, we think that simple social legislation will enable them to be so. But people don’t do good. People are selfish, and if we don’t make them work, they won’t."

I recently received the following as part of a longer letter from a family member. I've heard this argument from several sources lately, and it seems prevalent among the politically conservative demographic. I'm studying social psychology this term though, and it seems that there is a scientific explanation for this perspective, as well as for my own.
So this was my reply.



Enter social psychology, and the note that the majority of people assume internal attribution for behavior. In other words, the natural human inclination (apparently) is to assume that a person is what he is and does what he does because of who he is (without regard to circumstances). They guy in line ahead of you is slow and bumbling because he's stupid, or lazy, or careless; not because he narrowly avoided an accident getting here, or because he just found out that his wife has cancer.

There are some people (apparently I am one, as I discovered in a class exercise), who tend to be willing to give people the benefit of the doubt, and allow for the possibility--even probability--of an external attribution.
The book discussed social politics, in particular the example of welfare, and noted that the typical conservative line is that poor people got there because they were lazy or uncaring (internal attribute), and that they would prefer to just mooch off the system indefinitely. The typical liberal perspective is that people are poor because of lack of education, layoffs, lack of access to training or employment, and other such external attributes. The opinion on that side is that, given a little help, and some opportunities, they will use the system for a time, but ultimately that they want to be independent and support themselves.

So they've collected some statistics. It seems that the average person on government assistance is there for about a year. Then they are gainfully employed and support themselves. I found it interesting that the statistics seem to point much more one direction than the other...

Now I realize that in many cases the real truth is probably somewhere in the middle--that most situations arise out of a combination of internal and external reasons. It's interesting how we displace though. Several members of our family have been unemployed or underemployed within the last few years, and (knowing the specifics), we have all given each other the benefit of the doubt. We have assumed that each was doing the best he could to be employed, and we have prayed for each others' success. I did not hear any judgments about getting WIC, unemployment benefits, medicaid, or food stamps (although I know several of us have done that). Why then do we assume that the people that we don't know are any different from the ones we do know?

Judge not that ye be not judged. For with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured unto you (Matt 7:2). Christ taught that, Elder Uchdorf just quoted him a few days ago, with the simple sermon, "Stop It!" Obviously, feel free to vote as you believe is best. But in the meantime, watch your words, and your deeds, and even your thoughts (Mosiah 4:30), because a judgment within your heart is still a judgment.
I dare say this injunction against judgment applies not just to the behavior of individuals, but also to their politics. I feel strongly about my idealistic stances, and I don't think they are impractical. They may be improbable for right now, but wasn't Jesus himself the original wild-eyed liberal idealist? Is improbability (or even impracticability) a reason to give up on those ideals? Jesus didn't. And I may be the most tenacious person I know.

Yep, I'm pretty universalist. 'Love one another' meant everybody, not just the people who look/think/believe like you do.

9-11 ~ Ten Years

The reason I don't worry about society is, nineteen people knocked down two buildings and killed thousands. Hundreds of people ran into those buildings to save them. I'll take those odds every ***** day.

                           -Jon Stewart

May we all be among the hundreds who run in to save.

I am only one, but I AM one

Recently, my husband and I watched The Blind Side. It's a movie about a woman who takes in a homeless boy and makes him part of her family. Initially she just offered him a place to stay for a few nights, but over time she got him a tutor so that he could graduate from high school, and then she adopted him, and put him through college. They lived in the south, and her white friends all gave her grief for taking in a black boy, saying that he would rob her and leave in the night, and that he was dangerous. But she was not hung up on social or racial stereotypes, she just saw a need, and she filled it, and she changed not only his life but her own in the process. (It was a great movie, by the way.)
We may not all have the financial means to take in a big teenager as she did, but we do all have the means to do something--to be forces for good in the world around us. Just a few days ago I showed my 11 year old son the Heifer Intl website, and he got really excited at the idea of using part of our christmas budget to provide animals to people in third world countries. A friend of mine has begun spending about $20/month to give micro-loans via Kiva. You don't have to do something big in order to do something good.

I am only one, but I am one.

I cannot do everything, but I can do something.

And what I can do, with God's help, I will do.

And I dare say, if I am not doing what I can do, shame on me!

Arctic Homestead

When I was growing up, my mother always started off our homeschool day by reading to us. She read us biographies and historical fiction mostly, counting it toward our history studies. I think I was 8 or 9 when she read Tisha to us. It was about a young woman who took a job teaching school in rural Alaska in the early 1900s.
I was fascinated.
I guess that was really the beginning for me, of wanting to come to Alaska. I re-read the book a couple of times in my teenage years too. As I was finishing college, I was contemplating getting dual certification (Alaska and my then-homestate of Washington have a reciprocal certification agreement) and I was going to come teach for a year or two in the middle of nowhere in Alaska, save up my money, and then go back south and get married. I was going to do what Tisha did...only Tisha found a spouse up in Alaska and stayed...and, well, if that happened that was ok too.
Only I found a spouse before I got a chance to go to Alaska and get rich. So I stayed poor and got married, and I'm not sure whether Alaska was still on my radar or not...I certainly wasn't thinking about it in any concrete way. But less than 4 years into our marriage we had an opportunity to move our family to Alaska, and even though we had never made serious plans to do so, we both jumped at the opportunity. Sometimes, something is so in your blood that you don't have to talk about it. I hadn't realized that my husband felt the call of the wild too, but he did, and we came.
And when we got here, we realized that it was home.

In the early part of our marriage, we had talked about buying a little piece of land where we could have a big garden, some fruit trees, and maybe raise some chickens or something. Now that we have realized that Alaska is home--more particularly that this region is where we want to stay for the long term (employment permitting)--now we have begun researching what exactly will be involved in creating an independent, sustainable, mostly-off-grid homestead for our family in this area. We've been getting books from the library, and reading up on everything from yurts and earthbag homes to cob houses and underground dwellings. We're learning about building with logs and how to use passive solar. We plan on heating with wood and geothermal energy, and will probably have a sod roof. We're reading about wind and hydropower. We know we'll need to build a greenhouse for our fruit trees and some of our vegetables. We're studying up on breeds of chickens and sheep to find which ones are gentle with children, which ones are hearty in cold weather, and which ones are the best for eating (and eggs, and wool...) The more we talk about it, the more excited we become. We know we need to sell our house down south before we can buy land here, and we don't want to buy land until we have tenure with a school district, so as to avoid what happened last time we bought a house (getting laid off and not being able to find another job within commuting distance of the place we owned!) So this is a 5 year plan at least...but it is a plan, and we are doing our reading, and it's exciting every time we talk about it.
Lots of people talk about things, but if the last few years are anything to go by, we are not just talkers, we are doers. We are the people who hold hands, hold our breath, and just jump already.

Recently, a fellow Alaskan friend recommended the book Arctic Homestead by Norma Cobb. She was another jumper. She and her husband took their five small children and settled in the wilderness north of Fairbanks in the 1970s. I admit I am not that daring, I have no desire to be that far north. I'll stay on my very sub-arctic peninsula thank you...but reading her story was inspiring, and reminded me of the reasons why I want to live off the land, with the land, in the land...and why I want to do it here. (It was also a thoroughly delightful read, so whether you have a homesteader's mindset or not I recommend the book!)


I conclude with a post from the book that seems to capture the way I feel about living in Alaska.

"There was breathtaking beauty in the howling of the wolves, the glisten and sparkle of new snow beneath lights, the splendid aurora borealis that never failed to fill me with wonder. It was as though God hung the great curtains of fire to fill space with myriad colors of dancing forms and vast spears and shafts of light flashing from one horizon to the next in a dazzling display of His power and majesty."

That Kid

Recent news reports have been full of stories of gay teens who have committed suicide after being teased or bullied. Celebrities and others have risen to the occasion with the "it gets better" campaign of youtube videos, encouraging kids to not give up, because it life will get better. I think they are trying to do a good thing--encouraging kids to persevere--but everyone is overlooking something crucial. It's not just gay kids who get teased. And it's not just gay kids who commit suicide. In fact, "suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15-to-24-year-olds, and the sixth leading cause of death for 5-to-14-year-olds" [American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry].
I appreciate the effort to reach out to the gay kids, but there are so many kids--so many people--who need acceptance and love. Let's not focus our lenses too tightly.

We all knew somebody who was "that kid." You remember him (or her); the one who was different. Maybe he talked funny or had body odor. Maybe she was fat or really socially awkward. Maybe he was bigger than everybody else his age, or maybe he was clumsy. Maybe she wore weird clothes. Or maybe it was something else.
And because that kid was different, he got harassed. And sometimes somebody told an adult, and sometimes they didn't. And sometimes the kid got more 'normal' with time, and sometimes they didn't. And sometimes the bullies got in trouble, but often they didn't. And the bullies may have varied from year to year, but oftentimes the kid was the same kid who got picked on day after day and week after week and month after month...

And sometimes, that kid is my kid.

A month ago I started talking with Wolf about what he wanted to dress up as for Halloween. Very early on he made up his mind. We talked and planned and I bought the fabric. I consulted with him multiple times to be sure I was making it 'right' by what he wanted. He wanted to be a "sackperson" (the character from the Little Big Planet video game). We settled on burlap as a good, textured fabric. It was a hassle to cut and sew, but I stuck it out and we ended up with a costume that he loved. Hubby and I both thought it was unlike any other costume we'd ever seen, but hey, so is a sackperson! Wolf was happy with it, and that's what mattered. Wednesday was the school halloween party and costume parade. Wednesday morning he was beaming as he put on his costume before catching the bus to school.
Wednesday afternoon when he got home he threw the crumpled costume into a corner and said no way was he going to wear it to the church party on saturday. Understanding that he was frustrated, Hubby suggested just setting it in the costume box rather than throwing it away in the garbage can. "No dad," Wolf said, "you can't save it for Bear, he would get teased too." Wolf had been teased all day long, taunted with chants of "sackboy, sackboy" ("I was a sackperson mom," he explained), and harrassed with old standbyes like a girl repeatedly stepping on his heels so that his shoes kept coming off as he tried to walk in the parade.
These kids are 5th and 6th graders. I know people often try to excuse elementary schoolers by suggesting that they are too young to know any better, or too immature to filter their actions, but that is bull. These kids are 10-12 years old. They are NOT too young. Just as my son is old enough to not punch them in the face when they harass him, so too they are old enough to be nice to him, even if he's the weird kid.
I'll be honest, Wolf does struggle socially. He is one of those kids who kinda lives in his own world, and he's not very good at reading social cues. He's very bright and very social, but he can be awkward. We have been working with him to help him learn better social skills. He doesn't hit the kids who tease him, and he doesn't harass them back either. He sometimes reports to an adult, but much of the time I think he just takes it, and then comes home and melts down.
My son has a strong support system around him. He has parents who love him and go to bat for him. He has a teacher and a counselor at the school who are his friends and who he trusts and feels safe with, and who help him work through things. He has two little brothers who adore him. Even with all that support, he still suffers when he is treated badly. Anyone would. Bullying is always unacceptable.

This youtube video has been going around facebook this week. It's part of the "It Gets Better" campaign which I mentioned before. Granted, they made it with gay kids in mind, but when I watch it I think of all those kids who are "that kid," including my kid, and including me. Everybody needs love and acceptance.



So let's all grow up a little, shall we? Let's be nice to people, no matter whether we agree with them or even if we like them. There is no excuse for being mean. Ever. And as we are nice to people, let us make sure we are teaching our children to be nice too.

The Amethyst Network

It is official, the website is up and running.
And I am tired, but very very pleased.
Please, take a look! (click the image)


THANK YOU!
♥ to my fellow founders Kimberlee, Molly, Jena, and Michelle. I could not have done this alone.
♥ to the several etsians who have agreed to donate portions of their sales to TAN.
♥ to my awesome brother for designing this logo.
♥ to anyone who has 'liked' us on facebook or followed us on twitter.
♥ to each of the doulas and mothers (aka peer doulas) who has signed up to join the network.

Being Aware; It's Not All Pink

I was a guest author over at LDS WAVE today.

October is National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This is a fact widely acknowledged in the media and everybody seems to get on board with everything from all-night cancer walks to facebook status games. My grandmother is one of those “1 in 8 women” who has been diagnosed with breast cancer, as are dear family friends, and I have joined those all-night walks and regularly remind my blog-readers to do their self breast exams.

However, October after October, I notice that the flood of awareness is decidedly (and almost exclusively) pink. It seems that we either overlook or are unaware of the many other “Awareness Months” going on in October.

Yes, 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer in their lifetime. However 1 in 4 women will experience a miscarriage or infant loss, and 1 in 3 will be a victim of domestic violence...

click here to read the rest

"The Soul of Sex" by Thomas Moore

"The Soul of Sex: culturing life as an act of love"
by Thomas Moore was such an interesting book, and with such an interesting thesis. I stumbled across it at the library and read the inside flap and had to bring it home.

Here is an excerpt from the flap:

In our age of science and psychology it's tempting to think of human sexuality in terms of biology and interpersonal relationships. But this new book...regards sex as an experience of the soul and emphasizes the themes of fantasy, desire, meaning, and morality. In [this book] Moore turns especially to religion, mythology, literature, rites, stories, and visual imagery [like classic art] that see sex in some of the most profound mysteries of life. He finds spirituality inherent in sex and at the same time explores the many ways in which spiritual values can sometimes wound our sexuality. He recommends chastity and celibacy for everyone--as aspects of sexuality and not only as literal lifestyles--and presents them as a means of developing a sensuous spirituality.
The Soul of Sex also establishes the principle that one can't have a fully satisfying sex life in a world that is asexual and antierotic. Thomas Moore recommends many ways in which society could tone down its moralism and create a public life that is erotic, one that affirms desire and pleasure. He sees widespread attention to sex in the media as a symptom of our failure to find a positive place for sex in the culture, and he spells out an Epicurean way of life in which the simple, deep pleasures of good food, friends, family, home, and intimacy with nature provide and appropriate erotic base for a fulfilling sex life.

The author is conservative catholic and was even a monk for a while. It's been interesting for me to read about sexuality from a distinctly moral perspective (although he does make the specification that 'moral' is not the same as 'moralistic'...in other words, having morals isn't the same as being all hoity-toity about stuff). So much of what is out there now is from a more 'natural man' point of view, and this is definitely not. He is very pro-marriage and pro-fidelity, and also pro-spirituality. As he says "If there is any substance in the common sentiment that sex is sacred, it would seem appropriate to explore that sacredness in religious terms."
This book also isn't erotica, or a 'how to' in any sense. Like I said, it's philosophy.
He talks a lot about archtypes--Aphrodite of course, but also Artemis (the virgin), Eros, and even Christ. I certainly never thought I'd read something about Jesus as sexual (he doesn't say sexually active, merely pro-sexuality), but it's entirely respectful and the author makes some very thought provoking points.
He talks about sexual symbols such as the phallus (which is more than just a penis, it's a symbol of honor, power, vitality, humor, playfulness, etc) and also the vagina (which he suggests is a symbolic harbor, a source of stability, calmness, and safety).
It's really fascinating to look at sex and sexuality from a more encompassing perspective--as symbols of larger (sacred) things. Or as a rite that reminds us of the sacred.

The book is full of highly quotable things, so rather than try to talk about the book any more I will just let it speak for itself...

In modern life sex is one of the few numinous areas we have left, numinosity being the aura of awe and mystery usually associated with religious feeling. We have destroyed the mystery of the planets and stars with our telescopes and roving machines. We have diminished the numinosity of nature through our countless studies and exploitation. But fortunately we have not yet reduced the power of sex to stir deep desire and to compel contemplation.

If we understand marriage only as a literal living arrangement, then it entails a literal giving up of the solitary life. But as an initiation of the soul, marriage takes us deeper into ourselves... We can imagine marriage as something we do for ourselves. Marriage is not a surrender to another person but to another condition of life, one that can be deeply rewarding. (208)

In our symptoms lie the seeds of our revitalization. If we want to know how to gain new life and fresh sensibility, all we have to do is look closely and appreciatively at our problems. We have to be careful not to leap into compensation--championing the opposite of what our symptoms embody. Rampant pornography, for instance, suggests that we might consider the value of sexual imagery. Rampant divorce suggests that our idea of marriage might need some space. Rape suggests that we have not yet learned to use the power of love. Excessive sex in the media suggestions that we have not built an erotically rich society. (235)
Modern society's combined moralism against and obsession with sex indicates that we have not yet discovered the deeper meaning of sexuality. We think of it in purely personal terms, in contrast with many cultures that treat sex as a sacred cosmic force. We try to keep sex hidden, apparently thinking that what we cant' see won't hurt us. But like all powerful elements in the soul, sex needs to be manifested. Otherwise we suffer not only from the sudden return of the repressed--sex breaking through our repression in negative and uncontrollable ways--but also from a diminishment of life and vitality. Sex gives life color and vivacity. When we hide it out of fear, our personal lives and our social lie become flat. (276-7)

And finally, an idea that was on my mind a great deal this last week as I drove up and down the billboard-lined, 8 (soon to be 12)-lane scar of pavement that is I-15 in Utah (and thought about the pretty little tree-lined, winding, 2-lane road that I live off of here in Alaska)

It seems clear to me that the plague of sexual images that fill the internet and line our city streets, and the so-called gratuitous sex that spices most grown-up movies are exaggerated, autonomous, and noisome because we don't understand the importance of a sexy road or an appealing building or a sensuous workplace. The principle at play is simple: whatever we don't have the imagination to weave into our human lives beautifully and intimately will haunt us in the form of autonomous temptation and shadow values. There seems to be no middle ground. Either we build a beautiful road or the ugly version will soon begin to destroy the culture we are striving so hard to make. As always, our choices are basic: either Eros or Thanatos, sex or death. (248)

If we'll loosen up and let a little more 'sexy' into our world, and embrace the sexuality within us as the holy and powerful thing that it is, then we won't have so much negative sexuality bursting through the seams of repression. And we'll all be happier besides.

Love Your _______

Recently as I was driving home I saw a marquee out in front of a church that said "Love Your Enemy." That phrase got me to thinking of the other phrase we hear so often: "love your neighbor."

Firstly, who is my enemy? I actually can't personally think of any--I'm sure there are people out there who don't like me, but I figure that's their problem, not mine. I suspect that for most of us, in our day to day life, our 'enemies' are not close to home. They are distant and conceptual, and we have other things to worry about in our busy lives. So when the sermon on the mount tells us "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you," we smile and nod, say something cursory in our prayers, send a donation to somebody who does work in poor places (that's where terrorists come from, right?), and then pat ourselves on the back and go about our business.

Loving an unseen enemy can be easy. The depth of the love may be in question, but since we're not having any personal interactions with said enemies, it's not that big a deal...

But loving your neighbor?

You mean the neighbor who lets his dog poop in my yard?
How about the one who always drives on my grass?
Or the one who drives too fast down my little residential street where my kids play?
What about the son who never seems to pee quite in the toilet?
And the spouse who leaves his clothes on the floor?
The daughter who steals your makeup and then misses curfew? Frequently?
The child who talks back?
The family member who takes the last cookie?!

How easy is it to love these people?

Oh, sure, we 'love' them. We say we love them, we do nice things to and for them, we take care of them. But do we let ourselves get frustrated over things that don't really matter in the long run? Do we speak to them in anger? Why is it that we 'let our hair down' and act our worst when we are with the ones who matter most?

Yes, we certainly should make efforts to love our enemies. BUT, I think that the higher priority needs to be to love those who are all around us right here at home. After all, they have to live with us.

Forces For Good

I stumbled across this book today at the library. I brought it home because in the last two days ideas have begun swirling in my head. The more I think, the more the ideas come, and the more they fit together, and the more they feel good and, just, right.
Forces for Good" the six practices of high-impact nonprofits is specifically directed toward those who run or support nonprofit organizations, but its message is broader than that: anyone can be a force for good in the world, and if they access and utilize a few techniques and resources then they can be a BIG force for good in the world. It's in our hands.
Ghandi said "Be the change you want to see in the world." For over three years now I have used this blog (among other things) as a place to try to educate people, to encourage people to think about things from a new perspective, and to be a force for good in the world. Suddenly a concept for a nonprofit organization has been dropped in my lap by circumstance...by coincidence...or, maybe, by God. An idea that had never occurred to me as of three days ago is suddenly consuming many of my thoughts. An opportunity to be a bigger force for good in the world. An opportunity to be an activist in a cause I really really believe in. I am doing my research, and seeking partners for this endeavor, because I'm not naive enough to think that I can do this alone. But the idea just feels so right.
Hubby and I watched a movie tonight. It was a cheesy comedy and I can't really recommend it...except that there was one little thing in it that jumped out at me: the idea of saying yes to opportunities, even intimidating ones. Finding the book + seeing the movie + this recent train of thought + my recent path of trusting and following rather than trying to control things = perhaps I'm supposed to do this?

So I suppose you will want to know, what is this nonprofit I'm thinking about? In the most simple of terms, it would be focused on miscarriage education and (more importantly) support. It would involve a network of doulas to support women though their actual miscarriages as well as postpartum. It would involve counselors (professional or peer) to help parents in their grief. It would have information to help women know what to expect of a miscarriage at various stages, and it would have a place to share stories and photos. The more I think about this idea, the more it excites me. The more I become attached to it.
Just minutes ago I realized that even the date is significant in fact. August 17 was my due date for one of the babies I lost. August 17 was the date I miscarried another baby. And this year on August 17 the cosmos aligned to push me toward something new.

The problem with neutrality

"Take sides.
Neutrality helps the oppressor,
never the oppressed.
Silence encourages the tormentor,
never the tormented."

--Elie Weisel (holocaust survivor, author of "Night")

Precisely why I will not be neutral, and will not be quiet. ☺

Femininity vs. Feminism

Once upon a time women in this country were repressed. They were not just "the gentle sex" or "the fair sex" but also "the lesser sex." They were beaten and abused and in most cultures had few if any rights. Once upon a time suffragettes marched for the right to vote. Had I been alive, I would have been there right beside Cady Stanton, Susan B Anthony, and Amelia Bloomer, demanding that women be allowed to dress as they pleased and vote in elections.Once those rights were secured, women began pushing into other things that had previously been male-only domain. They demanded easier access to education, and the right to work. They instigated legislation to punish perpetrators of domestic violence, abuse, and sexual harassment. Were these fights still being fought I would be standing there beside the fighters.

With equal rights established however, the movement called 'feminism' began to push for other things. It began to focus on cultural acceptance and approval for crudeness in language and behavior. It fought for--and won--the right to abort babies without medical reason (where are the rights of the unborn women?!) It fought to teach women that they cannot be complete or fulfilled unless they have a career outside the home, and to preach the notion that keeping a home and raising children is inferior to having a career. In other words, the feminist movement began to undermine all the things that made women unique. In the quest for 'equality' feminism has pushed so far and so fast that it has gone far beyond the mark, so that now women are fighting, not for the right to be women, but for the right to be men; or, more accurately, to be more than men. By demanding sameness across the genders, women are forfeiting the things that make us special and unique. In order for masculinity to be valuable, it must be balanced by femininity! As the movement of feminism gains strength in the world, femininity is losing the ability to be a moderating force in the world, or to create balance between masculine and feminine. This is not empowering anyone; it is stifling everyone.

I am staunchly feminine, staunchly pro-woman. Therefore, I can only conclude that in this country, and at this stage in history, I must be anti-feminism.

There are fights worth fighting, even still. Women are being held down in places like Afghanistan and what support we can give is worth the fight. Women are victims of domestic abuse in our own country, and what we can do to support and help them here is of course worth our while. However the larger 'feminism' movement in this country has lost the nobility of purpose that once guided them. They have turned toward anger and vulgarity to accomplish their goals, and their goals are no longer positive or even things worth fighting for.
If you dare, you might check out the post "I HATED The Vagina Monologues and So Should You" (disclaimer: the play--and therefore the post--have sexual content including pedophilia, rape, lesbianism and prostitution).

I conclude with a link to two inspirational blog posts:

• The truth about Women that Feminists Don't Want You to Know, posted at Ladies Against Feminism: Promoting Beautiful Womanhood. I don't agree with everything written at that site, but I find that I agree with them more often than not. Their post talks about powerful historical women, and how they did not need feminism to be who they were and accomplish what they did. I found it inspiring to review examples of powerful women who gloried in womanhood, motherhood, and homemaking.
• Returning to Motherhood: One Solution for the Economic Crisis, posted by my friend at MotherLoverGoddess. I don't agree with everything she writes either, but I think this post makes excellent points about women in the home verses women in the workplace.

Frugal Friday--cleaning up

Household cleaning chemicals are expensive and (as research continues to verify) they may not all be as safe as we've been told! Here are some cheaper alternatives.

BAKING SODA

• I use an old parmesan cheese shaker to store/dispense the baking powder. I pretty much use it anywhere I want something 'scrubby' or mildly abrasive...tub, sink, oven, you name it. It does tend to leave some residue (as most powdered cleaners do) so you have to rinse really well.
• A great deodorizer/odor-absorber, I use it in my diaper pail, or sprinkle a little on musty carpet, let it sit a few minutes, then vacuum it up.
• Good for clogged drains (see below)
  
• Baking soda is also a main component of homemade laundry detergent.
  

VINEGAR

• I use a spray bottle for the vinegar (which I usually blend with water). This is what I use in place of most spray cleaners--in and on the fridge, the stove, and the microwave (when we used to have one). Sinks, counters, and the outside of the toilet.
• Pour a cup or so of straight vinegar into a stained toilet, let it sit for 30 minutes, then scrub and flush and it will get rid of most rings and stains.
• If you have a clogged drain, pack it with baking soda, then pour in vinegar...remember those elementary volcanos? Same thing in your drain...and yes it's effective as well as entertaining.
• Vinegar is a germ-buster and odor-killer too, so I use it in places where I want to disinfect, such as places that have developed mold or mildew.
  
• I am told that you can use vinegar in place of liquid fabric softener--just pour it into the dispenser in your washing machine where the fabric softener would go.
  
• Vinegar does not work so well for windows, just FYI.

SALT

• A great laundry enhancer, salt loosens the fibers of the fabric (without damaging them) allowing the water to flow through and clean them more thoroughly. Adding a little salt to each wash load allows you to use less soap.
• Abrasive, good for things that need to be scrubbed (put some in with your baking soda for scrubbing a grubby tub).
• Does great things for copper--see below
  

LEMON JUICE

• Pour a little lemon juice (with or without water) into a small microwave-safe dish and set it in the microwave on high for a couple of minutes. The humidity it produces will soften any stuck-on stuff so that it's easy to wipe out, plus the lemon scent will freshen it. Lemon juice can be used in place of vinegar for cleaning most things.
• If you have a copper-bottomed pan, sprinkle it with some salt, then a little lemon juice, and scrub with a cloth (the abrasive salt does the actual 'scrubbing) and it will shine that copper right up!

RUBBING ALCOHOL

• Put some on a soft cloth, and it will give you lovely streak-free mirrors and windows.

That's what I know...what do you know?!

Forming Opinions of Birth

I remember one morning, when I was three and a half, sitting on the end of my mom’s bed with my two-year-old sister. I had a flashlight, and every so often I would turn it on and use the light to peer at the little tunnel from which Daddy said that our baby brother was about to be born. I confess that I don’t actually remember watching his birth (although I know I did), but I remember the excitement of being there.
For various reasons I missed the next two siblings’ births, but at ten and a half I was wakened early one morning by my brother (the one I’d seen born) bursting into my room with the words “mom’s dilated to a six!” I remember that birth much more clearly, as well as the ones that followed two and five years later.

Birth is part of life, and I find it sad that in our culture it is so often hushed up or hidden. There is nothing dirty or shameful about birth. There should not be anything scary about it…and yet most women go into their first labor with little but screaming media renditions and horror stories to guide their expectations. How much more confident would we women be if we had been present for several births prior to doing it ourselves? How much more quickly would older siblings connect with the new addition if they witnessed the birth and even got to participate in things like cutting the cord or announcing the sex? (Wolf cut Bear's cord, and has requested to do so for this baby too.)
I know a number of women who invite their teen or pre-teen daughters to attend the birth of a younger sibling, presumably with the rationale that said daughter is nearing her own childbearing, but I wouldn't dream of limiting attendance to just daughters or only those over a certain age. In my experience it is the smaller children who actually show the most interest, and why not take advantage of their impressionable age to let them form their first opinions of what birth is? Imagine the impact we might have on our culture's concept of birth if little children of both sexes grew up comfortable with birthing! Imagine if not only the future mothers, but also the future fathers, and the future doctors, midwives, and nurses all had witnessed a birth (or several) prior to adulthood.

Some women have told me that they think their children would be upset at the sight of mommy in pain, or would be distressed by “all the blood.” I suppose every child is different, and perhaps some would not do so well at a birth…but my tenderhearted Wolf showed nothing but excitement when he watched Bear’s birth, and both boys have informed me in no uncertain terms that they want to see this baby be born.
Obviously I would not force a child to be present if they didn’t want to be...but I hope to always keep the option open for my children. I do take the time to explain the physical process of birth (the baby is in mommy's uterus, the uterus will start squeezing to get the baby out, the baby will come down and out through a tunnel called the birth canal). Depending on the age of the child, we might look at diagrams or photos in books to enhance their understanding.
I also try to help them understand some of what will happen (mommy will be working hard, so she might make weird noises or be loud because she's working. She might be tired and sore and won't be able to hold you or play with you while the baby is coming. There might be some blood but it's ok because nobody is hurt it just goes with the placenta...)
I also show them some birth videos--yes, graphic show-it-all videos. I preview them first of course, but I think it's healthy for them to see that one woman might just hummmm and another might scream and holler and it's ok either way. I think if they see it on film first it helps them be comfortable with whatever may happen in real life.
Finally, I arrange for a "kids' doula" or babysitter...It's not truly a babysitter, because I'm not sending the kids away to be babysat. It is someone that they feel comfortable with and that I feel comfortable with, who can attend to their needs (food, sleep, play, etc) during my labor, answer their questions, take them out if they feel uncomfortable, and make sure they able to see as much as they want to see.


So, I'm curious what you think. Did you ever get to witness a birth before you were there as the parent? Would you invite your children to witness their sibling(s) birth(s)? What sorts of preparatory measures would you utilize?




Incidentally, lest anyone think that this sibling-attendance thing is limited to homebirths, or birth center births, it's not. Bear was born in a hospital. Being in a hospital or other such facility makes it all the more important that there is someone specifically designated to supervise the siblings, but they can still attend the birth.

Little Things

I am only one, but still I am one;
I cannot do everything, but still I can do something;
And because I cannot do everything,
I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.
~~Edward Everett Hale
(commonly mis-attributed to Helen Keller)

This week I wiped up a spill on the kitchen floor with a cloth which I then tossed into a hamper rather than with a paper towel which would go into the trash.
I bought local tomatoes and lettuce (grown in-state) rather than ones shipped from 3000 miles away.
I made spaghetti with basil plucked from plants growing on my kitchen windowsill.
I combined my errands into one trip on one day rather than going out multiple times on different days.
I wiped my toddler's runny nose with cloth tissues (he calls them 'nuggert wipers') that I make by cutting up old t-shirts, and tossed them into the wash.
I used cloth wipes for myself (I know not everybody is up for that but wow I can't stand how scratchy toilet paper is anymore!), and of course I washed those too.
I paid my bills online instead of using paper checks and envelopes.
I bought my toddler boots at a second-hand store.
I cooked most of our meals from scratch. I made breakfast for my school-goers every morning.
I turned off lights and kept our heater on a lowish setting.
I sewed a couple of cloth diapers.
I washed our clothing in an energy-efficient washing machine.
I took my kids to the library and we all got books to read.
I read to my kids every day.
I cuddled with my kids almost every night (sometimes daddy does the cuddles ♥).
I am only one, but I AM one.
I cannot do everything, but I CAN do SOMEthing.
And if I am too lazy or selfish to do the things that I can do, well, shame on me. And if I take some small pride in doing the small things I can do, well, I think that's probably healthy.

"Animal Vegetable Miracle" by Barbara Kingsolver

I don't remember when I first heard about this book. I do know that it was not an unfamiliar title last summer when my mother was reading it and told me that she loved it. I made a mental note to get around to reading it sometime...
A month ago I saw it on the rental shelf at our little library (they have a program where they can rent recent or popular books for less than buying them, so there is a decent rotating collection there), so I snatched it up.

I should probably warn you that if you are pregnant and craving fresh fruit and vegetables (especially if you live in a rural corner of Alaska and cannot get them no matter how much you want them), and it's the end of a long winter where none of the produce is very good even if you could get it, and you haven't had your own garden in three years and you miss it terribly...then this book may leave you feeling very very hungry and dreaming about things like farmers markets and hoeing weeds and canning peaches. Of course, I still heartily recommend it.


Animal Vegetable Miracle follows a year in the life of Barbara Kingsolver, her husband, and two teenage daughters. They decided that they wanted to be 'locavores' for a year, as a sortof social experiment. They did make one exception per family member--dad got his coffee (organic and fair trade of course), one daughter got hot chocolate, mom got her spices...but other than that they ate locally. They planted a massive garden, raised their own chickens and turkeys, went to their farmers market religiously, and almost everything they consumed that year was produced within their own county (I think the most distant item came from two states away). The book tells not only their story of learning to eat locally (and in season!), but also includes several essays from Stephen Hopp (her husband, a professor of environmental studies), essays from the elder daughter Camille Kingsolver, and a mouthwatering collection of recipes that follow the 'in season' rule (in other words, nothing calls for mixing produce from one season with produce from another).

Here are a couple of my favorite quotes from the book:

"[O]ur vegetables have come to lack two features of interest: nutrition and flavor. Storage and transport take predictable tolls on the volatile plant compounds that subtly add up to taste and food value. Breeding to increase shelf life also has tended to decrease palatability. Bizarre as it seams, we've accepted a tradeoff that amounts to: 'Give me every vegetable in every season, even if it tastes like a cardboard picture of its former self.' You'd think we cared more about the idea of what we're eating than about what we're eating."

"Each plant part we eat must come in its turn--leaves, buds, flowers, green fruits, ripe fruits, hard fruits--because that is the necessary order of things for an annual plant. For the life of them, they can't do it differently...
"Waiting for [some foods] is harder. It's tempting to reach for melons, red peppers, tomatoes, and other late-summer delights before summer even arrives. But it's actually possible to wait, celebrating each season when it comes, not fretting about its being absent at all other times because something else good is at hand.
"If many of us would view this style of eating as deprevation [only getting foods when they are in season], that's only because we've grown accustomed to the botanically outrageious condition of having everything, always."

"Waiting for foods to come into season means tasting them when they're good, but waiting is also part of most value equasions...It's hard to reduce our modern complex of food choices into unifying principles, but this is one that generally works: eating home-cooked meals from whole, in-season ingredients obtained from the most local source available is eating well, in every sense. Good for the habitat, good for the body...
"That's the sublime paradox of a food culture: restraint equals indulgence."

"It's interesting that penny-pinching is an accepted defense for toxic food habits, when frugality so rarely rules other consumer domains."

I found the book at once riveting, thought-provoking, and inspiring. It's not just about eating organic foods (though Kingsolver clearly feels strongly about that, and explains why); it's not just about eating local foods (though she obviously feels strongly about that too); it's not even wholly about eating in season (although that comes closer to the mark). No, Animal Vegetable Miracle is about mindful eating. About choosing our foods--and preparing them--with conscientiousness and thought.