Eagle is now 23 months old; just weeks away from the age Bear was when I got pregnant with Eagle.
But I'm not pregnant. Yes, I am fertile (it took 22 months this time instead of 20), but we're not trying to get pregnant; actually we are actively preventing pregnancy. Maybe forever.
If you had asked me a year ago (as my husband did), I would have said no way was I ready to be done having kids. Ever since my teens I had been planning on 5 kids at least... Even with my slow start and wider-than-anticipated spacing I was 28 when Eagle was born, so I could certainly have another child or two before 35! But when Eagle was just a couple of weeks old, Hubby said something about how we were outnumbered now (more kids than parents), and he thought maybe we should be done having kids. I figured he was tired and stressed with the newborn, and brushed it off. When he brought it up again a few months later, I began to think about it.
Initially I hated the thought of being done. Only three children? But I have so much to give! I'm pretty good at this mommy thing, I know how to handle lots of kids, shouldn't I give a good home to as many kids as I can? Pregnancy is not that hard for me physically--I don't get that sick and my body doesn't fall apart. Birth isn't hard on me either--in fact it's exhilarating.
And then a friend gave me a piece of very sound wisdom. Some kids need more than others (and I do have a couple of high-needs kids). If a mother has a finite amount of energy (which I think she does!), then no matter how much love she has, it makes sense to go with a family size that is appropriate to her energy. Sometimes that might mean 9 children, and sometimes it might mean 3. As I considered the possibility that I might actually have my quiver full with [only] three children, I began to accept that it was probably true.
So we made the decision to be done with having babies. I admit I made it more mentally than emotionally--part of me keep thinking "we're just done for now, in a few years we'll have another one or two." But I set it in my head and then let it marinate... and it took a while. Some days I would think "ok, I can wait 3 or 4 or 5 years, but I want at least one more" and other days I would think "how nice would it be to have no kids in diapers?!" or "we'll never have to buy a bigger van!"
And then, one day last winter, my sister called and told me she was pregnant. And for the first time, instead of thinking "I wish I were" I thought "I am so glad I'm not." And that was a massive turning point. I had never experienced not wanting to be pregnant in a particular moment. It was weird, and also it helped me realize that maybe I could make this transition.
I don't know precisely what the future holds, but I do know that it does not hold pregnancy for me--not for several years at least, and very probably not ever again. Some days I still struggle with the finality of it, but I also feel confident that this is the right choice for us at this time.
I have an IUD now (because breastfeeding was messing with my charting, and we did not want to allow the possibility of an 'oopsie'). Even though I intellectually knew that I wanted to do this (Hubby and I discussed at length and agreed on this option), it was still hard emotionally. I felt as though I had voluntarily given up my "full bloom" of fertility, as it were, in trade for a forced infertility. Like I had handed in the fullness of my womanhood for premature old age. I appreciate that that probably sounds like hyperbole, but I really felt it keenly. It didn't hit me until I was in the CNM's office getting ready to have the IUD put in, and then I bawled and gushed to her (a veritable stranger) about it. I suppose she doesn't get that very often! I cried much of the day after I came home too. I had not expected to react that way--after all, an IUD can be removed! But the next day I calmed down enough to do a closure ritual for myself, and felt much better for it. It was shortly after this time that I had my epiphany about the three phases of womanhood which I wrote about here.
I may be finishing with one stage of my life, but I still have many stages to live and enjoy. Perhaps I am done with pregnancy and birthing (for myself), but of course motherhood goes on. My children are young, there is much to do with them. As I exit the baby stage, I can enter another stage--a stage I have been thinking about (but putting on hold for six years)--a stage where I can reach out to other women and teach and support them as a doula and a childbirth educator. It's actually pretty exciting.
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnancy. Show all posts
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Pregnancy After Miscarriage
After a miscarriage, some couples do not want to think about babies for a while, but many want to try to conceive again right away. Here are a few thoughts based on my own experiences, and on things that friends have shared with me.
1--Be honest about why you do (or do not) want to get pregnant again right away. It may be a manifestation of denial--wanting to hurry up and be pregnant again so that you can pretend that you were never 'unpregnant.' You may carry the hope that conceiving again will help heal the loss. I can say from experience that a new pregnancy may help distract you from the loss, but unless you are well on the way to healing already it will not magically fix anything.
If you do not want to get pregnant, is it a product of fear, or simply a desire to wait? It's important to be sensitive to your spouse's feelings and desires too. I don't think there is any one right answer, and certainly not a simple one, but realize that both perspectives are valid.
2--Realize that being pregnant after having miscarried is a scary thing for most of us. There is an ever present fear of miscarrying again. Women who have never lost a baby may have some concerns about miscarriage, but they do not compare to when you have actually been there before. We tend to fixate on every little thing as either a sign that all is well, or a sign that we're about to miscarry again. For example, vaginal moisture is common in pregnancy, but after having lost babies I found myself running to the bathroom six times a day to check and make sure that what I was feeling wasn't blood. When I began to feel better from my morning sickness, I was terrified that it might mean that I was about to lose the baby.
3--Consider your timing. Different providers give different advice. My first OB told me that we should abstain from procreative activities for so long as I was bleeding, and then use preventative measures until after I had had at least one normal period. Essentially his advice was to let my body figure out that it is not pregnant before trying to get it pregnant again.
I have also heard the recommendation that after a baby you should wait for a time equal to (or longer than) the length of the pregnancy. So after a full-term baby you should wait 9 months, after a 13wk miscarriage you should wait 3 months, after a 5wk miscarriage you should wait at least a month, and so on.
On the other hand, I have heard many midwives and mothers say that that first ovulation after miscarriage (in other words, before that 'one normal period') is particularly fertile, and that if you really want to get pregnant again then you should try right away. I believe the theory is that the body doesn't figure out that it's not pregnant, and is therefore more welcoming of a new embryo. I don't know if there is any science to that or if it's just an old wives tale, but I do know an awful lot of women--including myself--who have conceived in the first month following a miscarriage.
1--Be honest about why you do (or do not) want to get pregnant again right away. It may be a manifestation of denial--wanting to hurry up and be pregnant again so that you can pretend that you were never 'unpregnant.' You may carry the hope that conceiving again will help heal the loss. I can say from experience that a new pregnancy may help distract you from the loss, but unless you are well on the way to healing already it will not magically fix anything.
If you do not want to get pregnant, is it a product of fear, or simply a desire to wait? It's important to be sensitive to your spouse's feelings and desires too. I don't think there is any one right answer, and certainly not a simple one, but realize that both perspectives are valid.
2--Realize that being pregnant after having miscarried is a scary thing for most of us. There is an ever present fear of miscarrying again. Women who have never lost a baby may have some concerns about miscarriage, but they do not compare to when you have actually been there before. We tend to fixate on every little thing as either a sign that all is well, or a sign that we're about to miscarry again. For example, vaginal moisture is common in pregnancy, but after having lost babies I found myself running to the bathroom six times a day to check and make sure that what I was feeling wasn't blood. When I began to feel better from my morning sickness, I was terrified that it might mean that I was about to lose the baby.
3--Consider your timing. Different providers give different advice. My first OB told me that we should abstain from procreative activities for so long as I was bleeding, and then use preventative measures until after I had had at least one normal period. Essentially his advice was to let my body figure out that it is not pregnant before trying to get it pregnant again.
I have also heard the recommendation that after a baby you should wait for a time equal to (or longer than) the length of the pregnancy. So after a full-term baby you should wait 9 months, after a 13wk miscarriage you should wait 3 months, after a 5wk miscarriage you should wait at least a month, and so on.
On the other hand, I have heard many midwives and mothers say that that first ovulation after miscarriage (in other words, before that 'one normal period') is particularly fertile, and that if you really want to get pregnant again then you should try right away. I believe the theory is that the body doesn't figure out that it's not pregnant, and is therefore more welcoming of a new embryo. I don't know if there is any science to that or if it's just an old wives tale, but I do know an awful lot of women--including myself--who have conceived in the first month following a miscarriage.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Facebook Saturday ☺
Sat 11/7
Jenni just noticed a dusting of snow on the ground...last summer I was trying to help Bear understand when the baby would come, and told him "after the snow comes." This last week I was thinking our mild autumn would make a liar out of me, but I guess not. Maybe this is what baby was waiting for?!
Sunday 11/8
7:33am
...is somewhat annoyed that the boy who can hardly drag himself out of bed at 7am on a school day has NO trouble getting up at 6 on the weekend to play computer games (but can't manage to take a break long enough to put on a Wiggles movie for his now-awakened toddler brother so I have to get up too).
Monday 11/9
8:11am
...spent most of the night fighting with my unborn child. He thought it was a good idea to kick my rib. I didn't. I pushed that foot away a LOT of times. Just come on down and out kiddo, then you can stretch your legs all you want!
1:07pm
...is doing hip circles on the birth ball. Move down baby, engage, move down...
Tuesday 11/10
8:17am
...watched a house a block away burn to the ground in under 15 minutes last night. The family escaped safely but has *nothing* but the clothes on their backs. It really makes you stop and think about what is really important in life.
11:13pm [Hubby was stuffed up and it made him snore and I couldn't sleep]
...is accepting that 2ish weeks of laborish stuff + no baby = no baby will ever come out and she will be pregnant forever. That's labor math for you!!
Wednesday 11/11
...just published the 40 wk belly photos. Hmm, didn't get to do that last time since Bear was born before the EDD.
[Guess I got those just in time, eh? I had planned to take some belly shots in labor which is what I did with Bear, but from the time I woke up in labor there was no way I was going to stand still long enough to pose for pictures because contractions are much easier when moving!]
Thursday 11/12
...announces the arrival of [Eagle], born at home in the water and into daddy's hands at 8:03am. 8lbs even, 14.5in head AND *nuchal hand, and mama has not so much as a **skidmark. (Yay for waterbirth!)
*A Nuchal hand means that rather than his arms being down at his sides, his hand was up at his head--in this case, on his cheek. It is not uncommon (I looked it up and it seems it may be as frequent as 15-20% of babies), but it does mean that the baby's head--already usually the biggest/hardest part to birth--now has something next to it as well so even MORE stretching is required. Nuchal hands are not dangerous, but they do usually involve tearing for mama. My thoughts on why I didn't tear will be included with the birth story which I'll probably get written and posted sometime in the coming week.
**A 'skidmark' is a very small tear, often not even stitched because it's so minor.
Jenni just noticed a dusting of snow on the ground...last summer I was trying to help Bear understand when the baby would come, and told him "after the snow comes." This last week I was thinking our mild autumn would make a liar out of me, but I guess not. Maybe this is what baby was waiting for?!
- Bear just went and looked out the window at the snow coming down and said "hey mommy, our baby is all ready to come out!!"
- For the last three days every evening has been sprinkled with good contractions for several hours, but they always petered out when I went to bed. This morning though I'm already getting a few, so who knows, maybe today will do it! It's not really a storm out there...just a dusting so far, with more gently sifting down...but if it keeps up for a few hours we'll get a decent accumulation, so we'll just have to see!
Sunday 11/8
7:33am
...is somewhat annoyed that the boy who can hardly drag himself out of bed at 7am on a school day has NO trouble getting up at 6 on the weekend to play computer games (but can't manage to take a break long enough to put on a Wiggles movie for his now-awakened toddler brother so I have to get up too).
Monday 11/9
8:11am
...spent most of the night fighting with my unborn child. He thought it was a good idea to kick my rib. I didn't. I pushed that foot away a LOT of times. Just come on down and out kiddo, then you can stretch your legs all you want!
1:07pm
...is doing hip circles on the birth ball. Move down baby, engage, move down...
Tuesday 11/10
8:17am
...watched a house a block away burn to the ground in under 15 minutes last night. The family escaped safely but has *nothing* but the clothes on their backs. It really makes you stop and think about what is really important in life.
11:13pm [Hubby was stuffed up and it made him snore and I couldn't sleep]
...is accepting that 2ish weeks of laborish stuff + no baby = no baby will ever come out and she will be pregnant forever. That's labor math for you!!
Wednesday 11/11
...just published the 40 wk belly photos. Hmm, didn't get to do that last time since Bear was born before the EDD.
[Guess I got those just in time, eh? I had planned to take some belly shots in labor which is what I did with Bear, but from the time I woke up in labor there was no way I was going to stand still long enough to pose for pictures because contractions are much easier when moving!]
Thursday 11/12
...announces the arrival of [Eagle], born at home in the water and into daddy's hands at 8:03am. 8lbs even, 14.5in head AND *nuchal hand, and mama has not so much as a **skidmark. (Yay for waterbirth!)
*A Nuchal hand means that rather than his arms being down at his sides, his hand was up at his head--in this case, on his cheek. It is not uncommon (I looked it up and it seems it may be as frequent as 15-20% of babies), but it does mean that the baby's head--already usually the biggest/hardest part to birth--now has something next to it as well so even MORE stretching is required. Nuchal hands are not dangerous, but they do usually involve tearing for mama. My thoughts on why I didn't tear will be included with the birth story which I'll probably get written and posted sometime in the coming week.
**A 'skidmark' is a very small tear, often not even stitched because it's so minor.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
40 Weeks
It's here: that big official estimated due date! Of course, it doesn't really mean anything except that I'm now halfway through the period during which my baby is considered "on time." Thanks to the two weeks of prodromal labor I am feeling like he'll never come. It's frustrating and tiring and I feel sore and I'm sick of all the false starts. If I add up all the hours of contractions I've had over the last two weeks I'm sure I've clocked a good 12-15 hours of early labor. Most days I have minimal appetite and it's difficult to maintain my attempts to stay well-hydrated, avoid sugar, eat lots of protein, and take all my vitamins/supplements every day.
Bear was born at 39w1d (have I mentioned that yet?!) and of course laborish things started with this kiddo at 38w2d, so I've been anticipating birth any day now for a while. That is mentally exhausting in and of itself...plus the physical discomforts of loose hips and a big belly. I think I mentioned before that there have been several nights where I was so sure that I'd be wakened in the middle of the night with hard labor that when I woke in the morning and found myself still pregnant it was a bit befuddling.
About a week ago there was a rainstorm all night long...every time I woke to go to the bathroom or settle my toddler I heard the rain pattering on the roof and thought "that would be perfect for laboring...tonight would have been a good night to have a baby."
Last Saturday we woke up to a dusting of snow, and throughout the morning more gently wafted down, and I thought "this is so beautiful, this would be a good day to have a baby."
Yesterday was 11/10/09, and I thought (as I have been thinking for several weeks) "this is such a neat date, it would be a great day for a birthday."
But Eagle has not come on any of those perfect days. I don't know why, but apparently the time is not yet right. I am having contractions--even regular ones that come close together for several hours at a time--but they never progress. We know that the baby is floating pretty high, and until he comes down and his head engages then my cervix isn't likely to dilate because it has no pressure on it...so all these contractions are essentially unable to progress into active labor because of his position.
Ironically, most labor encouragements focus on stimulating contractions--and I'm already getting plenty of those--so they are useless to me. Even a pitocin drip would probably do me no good, since it merely causes contractions, and I have plenty of those! If I were to go in for a traditional induction I would probably spend several hours hooked to an IV with hard contractions but little or no dilation, then they'd conclude that my labor was not progressing so they'd break my water, (which brings the risk of prolapsed cord since the baby's head isn't covering the cervix, and that's an automatic c-section...) If the cord didn't prolapse then the birth would probably follow shortly BUT then one still has to ask the question--if this baby is not engaging on his own, why not?! And is it really a healthy idea to force him out if he's not ready yet?
So instead I am spending time doing hip tuck/belly lifts, hip spirals on the birth ball, and some lunges. All those positions are supposed to encourage the baby to drop into position, and once he does that I suspect that labor will come on and move quickly. For now it's just a matter of waiting for baby to come down (because I can only encourage and facilitate, not force him down!) so I keep talking to him about it and sooner or later he'll decide he's ready.
Until then, I have only one pair of pants left that fits, I have managed to accumulate more stretch marks (in spite of being well-striped already from last time), and I am feeling very very large. I keep crashing into things with my belly because I'm just not used to sticking out so far (need a cup from the cupboard? I'll need to grab a step stool cuz my belly holds me out so far from the counter that I can't reach the shelf any other way!) I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm cranky, and it's entirely possible that I'm losing my mental acuity at least a little bit (remember how I keep waking up confused at still being pregnant? Yeah, that...)
Here are a couple of pictures taken today (please forgive them being slightly fuzzy...it's hard to take pictures of myself in the mirror one-handed, but I consistently forget to remember to ask Hubby to take the pictures on the right day, so this is what ya get!):
(No, I did not wear my shirt tucked into my pants all day--I may be losing my mind but I'm not THAT geeky! It was just easier to get an accurate profile that way.)
And the belly in all it's big stripey roundness:
(The other night Hubby put his hand on it as I was having a contraction and commented at how hard it was "it's like a basketball" he said "I could palm it!" Yeah, but betcha he couldn't throw it through a hoop!)
Bear was born at 39w1d (have I mentioned that yet?!) and of course laborish things started with this kiddo at 38w2d, so I've been anticipating birth any day now for a while. That is mentally exhausting in and of itself...plus the physical discomforts of loose hips and a big belly. I think I mentioned before that there have been several nights where I was so sure that I'd be wakened in the middle of the night with hard labor that when I woke in the morning and found myself still pregnant it was a bit befuddling.
About a week ago there was a rainstorm all night long...every time I woke to go to the bathroom or settle my toddler I heard the rain pattering on the roof and thought "that would be perfect for laboring...tonight would have been a good night to have a baby."
Last Saturday we woke up to a dusting of snow, and throughout the morning more gently wafted down, and I thought "this is so beautiful, this would be a good day to have a baby."
Yesterday was 11/10/09, and I thought (as I have been thinking for several weeks) "this is such a neat date, it would be a great day for a birthday."
But Eagle has not come on any of those perfect days. I don't know why, but apparently the time is not yet right. I am having contractions--even regular ones that come close together for several hours at a time--but they never progress. We know that the baby is floating pretty high, and until he comes down and his head engages then my cervix isn't likely to dilate because it has no pressure on it...so all these contractions are essentially unable to progress into active labor because of his position.
Ironically, most labor encouragements focus on stimulating contractions--and I'm already getting plenty of those--so they are useless to me. Even a pitocin drip would probably do me no good, since it merely causes contractions, and I have plenty of those! If I were to go in for a traditional induction I would probably spend several hours hooked to an IV with hard contractions but little or no dilation, then they'd conclude that my labor was not progressing so they'd break my water, (which brings the risk of prolapsed cord since the baby's head isn't covering the cervix, and that's an automatic c-section...) If the cord didn't prolapse then the birth would probably follow shortly BUT then one still has to ask the question--if this baby is not engaging on his own, why not?! And is it really a healthy idea to force him out if he's not ready yet?
So instead I am spending time doing hip tuck/belly lifts, hip spirals on the birth ball, and some lunges. All those positions are supposed to encourage the baby to drop into position, and once he does that I suspect that labor will come on and move quickly. For now it's just a matter of waiting for baby to come down (because I can only encourage and facilitate, not force him down!) so I keep talking to him about it and sooner or later he'll decide he's ready.
Until then, I have only one pair of pants left that fits, I have managed to accumulate more stretch marks (in spite of being well-striped already from last time), and I am feeling very very large. I keep crashing into things with my belly because I'm just not used to sticking out so far (need a cup from the cupboard? I'll need to grab a step stool cuz my belly holds me out so far from the counter that I can't reach the shelf any other way!) I'm tired, I'm sore, I'm cranky, and it's entirely possible that I'm losing my mental acuity at least a little bit (remember how I keep waking up confused at still being pregnant? Yeah, that...)
Here are a couple of pictures taken today (please forgive them being slightly fuzzy...it's hard to take pictures of myself in the mirror one-handed, but I consistently forget to remember to ask Hubby to take the pictures on the right day, so this is what ya get!):
(No, I did not wear my shirt tucked into my pants all day--I may be losing my mind but I'm not THAT geeky! It was just easier to get an accurate profile that way.)
And the belly in all it's big stripey roundness:
(The other night Hubby put his hand on it as I was having a contraction and commented at how hard it was "it's like a basketball" he said "I could palm it!" Yeah, but betcha he couldn't throw it through a hoop!)Friday, November 6, 2009
Facebook Friday (with bonus comments!)
(quick review of the end of last week...)
Friday 10/30
Jenni thinks that if last night is anything to go by, we're on babywatch proper now. The moon is full, I keep having contractions, and this little one may decide to be an October baby instead of a November one. [Also I lost my plug, which, you know, may mean 2 hours or 2 weeks...With Bear it happened at the beginning of labor...]
Saturday 10/31
...FINALLY has a middle name for the kiddo. Now he can come out!
Sunday 11/1
... isn't in labor, and wishes her body wouldn't imply things and then back out. Just follow through already!!
Monday 11/2
...has nested until it seems there's nothing left to do...laundry is done, kitchen is clean, bathrooms glisten...I guess I'll make some bread. Nothing like getting involved in a time-consuming project to make sure you get interrupted, right?!
Tuesday 11/3
7:59am
...made bread (both regular and banana), plus zuppa de tuscana for dinner, and managed to get some nice contractions going around bedtime...but they didn't stick. Today we'll try hands and knees scrubbing floors...
1:06pm
...just found out that my midwife is catching another baby today, so I guess I'm glad I'm not in labor at the moment...
Wednesday 11/4 (My sister's birthday, 39wks, and the gestational date at which in went into labor with Bear)
6:44am
...will let you know when there's a baby to announce...until then, I'm still feeling crabby, my appetite is screwed up, my hips hurt, and I keep walking around chanting "down and out baby, down and out."
...made homemade sesame chicken for dinner tonight--it's the first food that's actually appealed in a week, so I ate lots. Mmm, protein...
Thursday 11/5 (The gestational date at which Bear was born--yeah, he held off till after midnight)
9:18am
...sees the midwife this morning...Since Bear had been born by this gestational date, I'd kinda hoped to not make it to this appointment. Oh well, every day is one day closer to meeting Eagle.
10:03am
...is officially waddling. I guess the babe did move down last night, even if he didn't manage to get *all* the way down!
At my midwife appointment today we found that I'm still 1cm dilated and not at all effaced, and baby is still at a -2 station (meaning 2 cm above the pelvic bone)...no change from last week. She thinks I "look done" though...sortof like when you peek at the cookies in the oven and can tell that they are done even though the timer hasn't gone off yet. Neither of us expects me to make it to next week's appointment...
Tonight for the second night in a row I've had pretty decent contractions going through the afternoon/evening, and really thought we were probably going to see a baby out of it...but in both cases once I'd taken the time off to put the older kids to bed the contractions stopped. I think--and my midwife agrees--that my body won't labor when I'm in mommy-mode. She anticipates that I'll go into labor after bedtime one of these nights, and while that's possible, I'm noticing that the bedtime routine seems to be the end of my contractions...so maybe next time I'll have hubby put the kids to bed and I'll do other stuff and see if the contractions will keep going...
Friday 11/6
...has decided to take it upon herself to create/organize a breastfeeding support group here in Homer. There doesn't seem to be one, and the nearest LLL is 90 min away. For all my friends who are involved with such things, do you recommend joining LLL or just striking out solo?
Friday 10/30
Jenni thinks that if last night is anything to go by, we're on babywatch proper now. The moon is full, I keep having contractions, and this little one may decide to be an October baby instead of a November one. [Also I lost my plug, which, you know, may mean 2 hours or 2 weeks...With Bear it happened at the beginning of labor...]
Most of my status updates this week involve being on babywatch...that is, that final few days of wondering and waiting and obsessing over every little thing that just might be a sign that labor is beginning. So I've included not just the status updates, but also some excerpts from the comments (the bullet points). Most of them are me answering questions from other commenters... there are also a couple of general comments from me, as usual...
Saturday 10/31
...FINALLY has a middle name for the kiddo. Now he can come out!
Sunday 11/1
... isn't in labor, and wishes her body wouldn't imply things and then back out. Just follow through already!!
- I didn't have nearly so hard a time waiting last time...I think because I didn't get these crazy false starts. When labor started it was slow and long, but it was the real thing...this time I've had twice now with intense contractions right on top of each other...and then they just quit.
- The name thing may have been holding me up mentally, along with not wanting him to come on halloween...but I'm particularly frustrated now because those are over/resolved, and still nothin. I think the big issue is that I don't contract when the kids are up--so I figure i'll go into labor after their bedtime, fine, but it seems the *entire* family is conspiring against me on that one.
I know it's not false labor, but it's definitely false starts, and I'm so burned out (and miserable--physically and otherwise) right now that I had a massive breakdown this morning already and I haven't even been up for 2 hours. It's going to be a looooong day. - I've been napping with Bear every day, so that's something. I've stayed up a little bit with hubby the last few nights watching movies but I'm not going to do that anymore. If he wants to skip the sleep that's fine I'll go to bed without him.
I do have a couple of people I can call to help out, but if I can labor at night then they'll just sleep and it should be easier on everybody to not have the extra people around...The way these mid-night contractions have been (and also my midwife's prediction based on how soft I am) I think this labor may be a hard fast one, so if that works out then hopefully I won't need to call anybody in.
Monday 11/2
...has nested until it seems there's nothing left to do...laundry is done, kitchen is clean, bathrooms glisten...I guess I'll make some bread. Nothing like getting involved in a time-consuming project to make sure you get interrupted, right?!
- [a couple of commenters asked if I'd come to their houses next ☺]
- [JV] Aww, baby bread! I wonder if there's a recipe out there anywhere called that because it's "guaranteed" to make you go into labor either in making or eating it. Then again, that sounds a little... morbid. Never mind. Have fun with the breadmaking!
Tuesday 11/3
7:59am
...made bread (both regular and banana), plus zuppa de tuscana for dinner, and managed to get some nice contractions going around bedtime...but they didn't stick. Today we'll try hands and knees scrubbing floors...
1:06pm
...just found out that my midwife is catching another baby today, so I guess I'm glad I'm not in labor at the moment...
Wednesday 11/4 (My sister's birthday, 39wks, and the gestational date at which in went into labor with Bear)
6:44am
...will let you know when there's a baby to announce...until then, I'm still feeling crabby, my appetite is screwed up, my hips hurt, and I keep walking around chanting "down and out baby, down and out."
- [DR] Sleep while you can woman!
- oh I am D__. I nap with Bear every day and I've been trying to head to bed early. One of these nights I'd just like to be awakened by the baby coming out instead of the toddler coming in. ;)
...made homemade sesame chicken for dinner tonight--it's the first food that's actually appealed in a week, so I ate lots. Mmm, protein...
Thursday 11/5 (The gestational date at which Bear was born--yeah, he held off till after midnight)
9:18am
...sees the midwife this morning...Since Bear had been born by this gestational date, I'd kinda hoped to not make it to this appointment. Oh well, every day is one day closer to meeting Eagle.
10:03am
...is officially waddling. I guess the babe did move down last night, even if he didn't manage to get *all* the way down!
At my midwife appointment today we found that I'm still 1cm dilated and not at all effaced, and baby is still at a -2 station (meaning 2 cm above the pelvic bone)...no change from last week. She thinks I "look done" though...sortof like when you peek at the cookies in the oven and can tell that they are done even though the timer hasn't gone off yet. Neither of us expects me to make it to next week's appointment...
Tonight for the second night in a row I've had pretty decent contractions going through the afternoon/evening, and really thought we were probably going to see a baby out of it...but in both cases once I'd taken the time off to put the older kids to bed the contractions stopped. I think--and my midwife agrees--that my body won't labor when I'm in mommy-mode. She anticipates that I'll go into labor after bedtime one of these nights, and while that's possible, I'm noticing that the bedtime routine seems to be the end of my contractions...so maybe next time I'll have hubby put the kids to bed and I'll do other stuff and see if the contractions will keep going...
Friday 11/6
...has decided to take it upon herself to create/organize a breastfeeding support group here in Homer. There doesn't seem to be one, and the nearest LLL is 90 min away. For all my friends who are involved with such things, do you recommend joining LLL or just striking out solo?
- (yes, I am actively seeking ways to stay busy/distracted right now...but this is something I believe in and want to see happen anyway, so I'm not gonna ditch it when labor starts LOL!!)
Friday, October 30, 2009
Facebook Friday
Sunday 10/18
Jenni's toddler has a new toy, a "pu-la-la-la-la-la-lice car" (we don't know wh
y he puts the tongue wiggle in the middle...maybe he's adding a siren?! In any case, it's adorable.)
[also posting new belly pics--36wks] ------>
Tuesday 10/20
...just found out that my best friend may not be able to come after the baby (even though we've been planning this for months) because her work won't let her off. In moments like this I have to question whether employment isn't a bit overrated...
Wednesday 10/21
...has finalized plans for Saturday's "estre-fest" aka henna party. Oh yes, I need some estrogen in this house to gear me up for this baby!!
Thursday 10/22
... notices her boys putting syrup AND whipped cream on their pancakes (I had the whipped cream out cuz I had my pancakes with berries) and wonders if the fact that they are whole wheat pancakes is enough to justify still calling it 'breakfast' rather than 'dessert'?
Friday 10/23
...discovered that if I am willing to drive 6 miles I can go to a post office where there are no lines and the clerks are nice. Given that the PO in town involved 10+ person lines and cranky clerks every time I went, I don't mind the drive--my time... spent is the same and I don't come away hating anybody.
Saturday 10/24
...has henna on her belly...spirals and sunbursts and some personal touches. :) [photos posted last wednesday]
Monday 10/26
...has cute--and geeky--kids.
Tuesday 10/27
...is contemplating *just* how naughty it would be if she made candy corn cookies this afternoon...
Wednesday 10/28 [38 weeks] --------->
... is taking bets on when the baby will come...(no prize for the winner, except, you know, winning!!) Stats: *official due date is 11/11 *last baby came at 39w1d (labor started at 39w, but he was born after midnight) *my gut says this one will come on the earlier side as well *as of tuesday I'm 1cm, "very soft" and baby is at -2 station [I got bets for 11/3, 11/4, 11/6, 11/7 (two of them), and 11/8]
Thursday 10/29
... is amused that all her Utah friends who thought that "Alaska is so cold" now have enough snow to go sledding...and we had a bright sunny day with no snow yet this season!
Friday 10/30
...thinks that if last night is anything to go by, we're on babywatch proper now. The moon is full, I keep having contractions, and this little one may decide to be an October baby instead of a November one. [Also I lost my plug, which, you know, may mean 2 hours or 2 weeks...With Bear it happened at the beginning of labor...]
Jenni's toddler has a new toy, a "pu-la-la-la-la-la-lice car" (we don't know wh
y he puts the tongue wiggle in the middle...maybe he's adding a siren?! In any case, it's adorable.)[also posting new belly pics--36wks] ------>
Tuesday 10/20
...just found out that my best friend may not be able to come after the baby (even though we've been planning this for months) because her work won't let her off. In moments like this I have to question whether employment isn't a bit overrated...
Wednesday 10/21
...has finalized plans for Saturday's "estre-fest" aka henna party. Oh yes, I need some estrogen in this house to gear me up for this baby!!
Thursday 10/22
... notices her boys putting syrup AND whipped cream on their pancakes (I had the whipped cream out cuz I had my pancakes with berries) and wonders if the fact that they are whole wheat pancakes is enough to justify still calling it 'breakfast' rather than 'dessert'?
Friday 10/23
...discovered that if I am willing to drive 6 miles I can go to a post office where there are no lines and the clerks are nice. Given that the PO in town involved 10+ person lines and cranky clerks every time I went, I don't mind the drive--my time... spent is the same and I don't come away hating anybody.
Saturday 10/24
...has henna on her belly...spirals and sunbursts and some personal touches. :) [photos posted last wednesday]
Monday 10/26
...has cute--and geeky--kids.
Tuesday 10/27
...is contemplating *just* how naughty it would be if she made candy corn cookies this afternoon...
Wednesday 10/28 [38 weeks] --------->
... is taking bets on when the baby will come...(no prize for the winner, except, you know, winning!!) Stats: *official due date is 11/11 *last baby came at 39w1d (labor started at 39w, but he was born after midnight) *my gut says this one will come on the earlier side as well *as of tuesday I'm 1cm, "very soft" and baby is at -2 station [I got bets for 11/3, 11/4, 11/6, 11/7 (two of them), and 11/8]
Thursday 10/29
... is amused that all her Utah friends who thought that "Alaska is so cold" now have enough snow to go sledding...and we had a bright sunny day with no snow yet this season!
Friday 10/30
...thinks that if last night is anything to go by, we're on babywatch proper now. The moon is full, I keep having contractions, and this little one may decide to be an October baby instead of a November one. [Also I lost my plug, which, you know, may mean 2 hours or 2 weeks...With Bear it happened at the beginning of labor...]
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
38 Weeks -- "Full Term" and the henna
Estimated due dates are just that--estimates. For years a baby has still been considered "on time" if it was born anywhere between 38-42 weeks. The formulas uses to estimate due dates are not always reliable, and some babies just seem to need a little longer in the oven than others. ☺ In more recent years, some providers have begun to consider 37 weeks as full term, or at least close enough to full-term that the baby will not likely have complications as a result of prematurity, however 38 weeks is still pretty standard, at least in my book.
So, today makes me full term.
And just as a note, the third trimester (particularly this last month) is the one time in my life when I don't feel like a large-busted lady...somehow the belly manages to overwhelm even my generous endowment for a few weeks. Of course, as soon as the kiddo arrives my belly will shrink and my milk will come in and I will be more top-heavy than ever. Ahh the irony!
Last weekend I gathered some women in my home and we put henna on my belly. Some of you may remember that I did this last time I was pregnant, but I am much happier with the results this time--I like the design better, and the stain is much darker and should last better as well.
(Yes, I have managed to acquire a few new stretch marks this time--they didn't start coming out until these last couple of weeks, but all along the top there is a new little row...yet another reason for me to think that Eagle is bigger than his brother Bear was...)
(with the paste on--including the glitter dust)
Here's a short breakdown of the reasons behind the design:
The spiral is a symbol of eternity (significant in that this baby is being born into an eternal family)
The sunburst is a symbol of birth or new beginnings
Each of the little symbols within the spiral were either drawn by my friends/family who attended, or represent those that could not attend.
♥Dragon (lower left) is Hubby
♥Car (center) drawn by Bear (he made some little circles then told me it was a car and asked me to "fix it better" so I did)
♥Mountains (lower right) drawn by Wolf. He said they weren't very good (applying henna takes a little practice) but I can see mountains, can't you?
♥Flower (bottom center), pink butterfly (just above flower), and baby with aura (upper left) were drawn by my friends who attended.
♥Forget-Me-Not (blue flower--upper right) is for my mother. Horseshoe, (purple) celtic knot, and the heart are for my sisters.
♥The leaf (for new life), the concentric circles (for birthing), and star (for light) round out the design, with a few little artistic dot trios to fill in the empty spaces.
(after the paste was off--the actual stain of the henna)
I love this picture...we used glitter dust on parts of the wet henna, and the boys were blowing off the excess so we could take the photos...
So, today makes me full term.
And just as a note, the third trimester (particularly this last month) is the one time in my life when I don't feel like a large-busted lady...somehow the belly manages to overwhelm even my generous endowment for a few weeks. Of course, as soon as the kiddo arrives my belly will shrink and my milk will come in and I will be more top-heavy than ever. Ahh the irony!
It’s the calm before the storm. Changes in your baby's weight have leveled off with only a few ounces of fat added this week. At this point your baby should weigh in at around 7 lbs and 20 inches (with boys somewhat heavier and longer than girls). Happily, as far as internal organs go, they are now developed enough to function in the outside world although the oh-so-important immune system is still developing and will continue to do so after birth. With a large boost of antibodies provided by breast milk when nursing begins. Fighting infection and staying healthy should be well within their physical capacity when your little fighter is born.Yesterday I saw my midwife and asked her if she'd do an internal check (she doesn't do them until ~39 weeks unless the mother asks). The baby's head is at a -2 station (2 cm above the pelvic bone) and I'm 1 cm dilated but very very soft. That means that once he comes down enough to engage (put pressure on my cervix) things will probably move right along, but for the moment nothing much is going on. I've had a few pretty good contractions (Sunday night I had several strong ones quite close together and started to wonder if labor was starting) but they have never continued more than half an hour. So I know we're getting close, but 'close' could mean two days or two weeks. It's normal to dilate a cm or two (or four) in the weeks preceding labor, and it doesn't mean that labor is imminent.
Your health care provider will assess the likelihood of where you are relative to your upcoming birthing process—seeing as you’ve now arrived at that waiting phase that could turn into labor at any time. Various charming indicators such as loose stools, expelling your mucus plus (along with the bloody show), a dilated cervix and increased Braxton-Hicks contractions are all signs that labor is only a few days away. The infamous water breaking may or may not be your first true indicator that labor has commenced. However, water breaks for only 15% of mothers and despite what Hollywood would have us believe, is more frequently just a slow leak rather than a large gush.
(But I have a plastic sheet on my bed under the sheet just in case, so that I don't ruin our new mattress!! ☺)
Be patient: if labor doesn’t start this week, or even next, keep in mind that only 4-5% of women actual deliver on their predicted due date. What’s more if this is your first pregnancy, you can expect to be anywhere from two days to two weeks late. You can distract yourself by keeping track of fetal movements, mostly to reassure yourself that all is well with your little miracle. In the off chance that movements do start to decrease substantially, try not to freak out and instead, call your doctor of midwife and discuss it with them.
If you're having trouble sleeping (which about 100% of women in this phase of pregnancy are), try to take little catnaps during the day, get one of those neato full-body pregnancy pillows, or at least lots of pillows that you can shove between your legs and under your belly to support your awkward shape more comfortably. Also, if you're feeling weird electrical tingles in your legs and inside your vagina, this would be none other than your not-so-little baby hitting various nerves as they settle into the pelvic area.
~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~
Last weekend I gathered some women in my home and we put henna on my belly. Some of you may remember that I did this last time I was pregnant, but I am much happier with the results this time--I like the design better, and the stain is much darker and should last better as well.
(Yes, I have managed to acquire a few new stretch marks this time--they didn't start coming out until these last couple of weeks, but all along the top there is a new little row...yet another reason for me to think that Eagle is bigger than his brother Bear was...)
(with the paste on--including the glitter dust)The spiral is a symbol of eternity (significant in that this baby is being born into an eternal family)
The sunburst is a symbol of birth or new beginnings
Each of the little symbols within the spiral were either drawn by my friends/family who attended, or represent those that could not attend.
♥Dragon (lower left) is Hubby
♥Car (center) drawn by Bear (he made some little circles then told me it was a car and asked me to "fix it better" so I did)
♥Mountains (lower right) drawn by Wolf. He said they weren't very good (applying henna takes a little practice) but I can see mountains, can't you?
♥Flower (bottom center), pink butterfly (just above flower), and baby with aura (upper left) were drawn by my friends who attended.
♥Forget-Me-Not (blue flower--upper right) is for my mother. Horseshoe, (purple) celtic knot, and the heart are for my sisters.
♥The leaf (for new life), the concentric circles (for birthing), and star (for light) round out the design, with a few little artistic dot trios to fill in the empty spaces.
(after the paste was off--the actual stain of the henna)I love this picture...we used glitter dust on parts of the wet henna, and the boys were blowing off the excess so we could take the photos...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
You Might Be 37 Weeks Pregnant...
...if you desperately have to go to the potty, and when you get there it hits you that you did this just 20 minutes ago.
...and you can't make much of anything.
...and even after emptying your bladder it doesn't feel much different.
...if you've definitely got that waddle goin' on.
...if you can't get comfortable on any couch or chair in your house, and have taken to carrying around an exercise ball (aka "birth ball") to sit on instead.
...if all the baby everything in the house is washed, the crib is set up, and you've made up your bed with an old shower curtain under the sheet (in case your water breaks in the middle of the night) because you don't want to ruin your new mattress.
...if your hips feel sortof loose and sore, like you just spent 20 minutes in a deep yoga squat...except you didn't. (That's the relaxin kicking in--getting everything nice and loose so the kiddo can slide through!)
...if you can feel that head nestled in your pelvis, and that foot pushing on your rib, and see one half of your belly sticking out further than the other half because that's the side where the kiddo's back is.
...and you can see precisely where his little bottom is, so sometimes you pat it because you know it's cute even though you can't see it yet.
...if you need to pee at least once and often twice every night.
...if getting out of bed is a production, especially if it involves rolling over, and you know that if you were so short-sighted as to lay down on the floor you might never ever get up again.
...if you feel a renewed commitment to taking your red raspberry leaf, cod liver oil, probiotics, and drinking lots and lots of water.
...if your dinner appetite is about the same as the two-year-old's (because your stomach is also about the same size).
...if you feel tired pretty much from the time you wake up, and yet you have these weird bursts of energy wherein you deep clean the bathroom or wash all the towels and sheets in the whole house.
...if you got three times the normal number of braxton hicks yesterday (including a couple strong enough to count as honest-to-goodness contractions) because your body seemed to know that 37 weeks is officially "full term" and therefore in the clear for labor to start.
...if you have to go to the potty again.
So, how has your week been?!
...and you can't make much of anything.
...and even after emptying your bladder it doesn't feel much different.
...if you've definitely got that waddle goin' on.
...if you can't get comfortable on any couch or chair in your house, and have taken to carrying around an exercise ball (aka "birth ball") to sit on instead.
...if all the baby everything in the house is washed, the crib is set up, and you've made up your bed with an old shower curtain under the sheet (in case your water breaks in the middle of the night) because you don't want to ruin your new mattress.
...if your hips feel sortof loose and sore, like you just spent 20 minutes in a deep yoga squat...except you didn't. (That's the relaxin kicking in--getting everything nice and loose so the kiddo can slide through!)
...if you can feel that head nestled in your pelvis, and that foot pushing on your rib, and see one half of your belly sticking out further than the other half because that's the side where the kiddo's back is.
...and you can see precisely where his little bottom is, so sometimes you pat it because you know it's cute even though you can't see it yet.
...if you need to pee at least once and often twice every night.
...if getting out of bed is a production, especially if it involves rolling over, and you know that if you were so short-sighted as to lay down on the floor you might never ever get up again.
...if you feel a renewed commitment to taking your red raspberry leaf, cod liver oil, probiotics, and drinking lots and lots of water.
...if your dinner appetite is about the same as the two-year-old's (because your stomach is also about the same size).
...if you feel tired pretty much from the time you wake up, and yet you have these weird bursts of energy wherein you deep clean the bathroom or wash all the towels and sheets in the whole house.
...if you got three times the normal number of braxton hicks yesterday (including a couple strong enough to count as honest-to-goodness contractions) because your body seemed to know that 37 weeks is officially "full term" and therefore in the clear for labor to start.
...if you have to go to the potty again.
So, how has your week been?!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
35 weeks, or, OHMYGOSH I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO!
No, I don't really have that much left to do...but when that nesting instinct kicks in, it really kicks in!
I think I mentioned a lot of these before (because they've been done for a while) but all the blankets are washed and in the drawer. All the small cloth diapers are out (though I am thinking I'll give them a prewash, even though of course I washed them all before putting them in the box!). All the babywearing stuff is washed and in the drawer. I've been watching birthy movies and reading birthy books and getting my head into labor mode (as much as I can!). I'm working on a list of things I want to remember (or have someone else remember for me) during labor. (Last time I had a whole birth plan written up and given to my OB by 28wks, but conversations with my midwife have shown me that I don't need to be nearly so formal, and that her 'standard procedure' is much closer to what I want so I don't need to lay things out so specifically for her.)
Labor and birth are feeling very close now. Bear was born at 39 weeks, and I have a gut feeling that Eagle has a good chance of coming on the earlier side as well. I don't believe in doing anything to try to affect the timing of when baby chooses to come, but I just kindof have that feeling... I'm not nervous about labor or birthing, and I'm not terribly anxious either (in that I'm glad I still have a few weeks because I don't feel like I have everything ready!) but I do know that it's coming, and probably sooner rather than later, so I'm starting to think about labor as fairly imminent. (The frequent braxton-hicks are a good reminder of that too--and they've just continued to get more frequent in the last few weeks.)
I have not washed the little jammies and hats, so I do need to do that. I need to gather up the birth day stuff and get it into one place so that I'm not running around when labor actually starts. I need to assemble the crib (which, with one side off and scooted next to our bed, will be a co-sleeper). Otherwise, I'm basically just trying to savor the time I have now with my older kids, because I know that once the baby comes things will get busier.
Oh, and we need to find a middle name for the little guy. That's starting to feel really urgent to me.
I think I mentioned a lot of these before (because they've been done for a while) but all the blankets are washed and in the drawer. All the small cloth diapers are out (though I am thinking I'll give them a prewash, even though of course I washed them all before putting them in the box!). All the babywearing stuff is washed and in the drawer. I've been watching birthy movies and reading birthy books and getting my head into labor mode (as much as I can!). I'm working on a list of things I want to remember (or have someone else remember for me) during labor. (Last time I had a whole birth plan written up and given to my OB by 28wks, but conversations with my midwife have shown me that I don't need to be nearly so formal, and that her 'standard procedure' is much closer to what I want so I don't need to lay things out so specifically for her.)
Labor and birth are feeling very close now. Bear was born at 39 weeks, and I have a gut feeling that Eagle has a good chance of coming on the earlier side as well. I don't believe in doing anything to try to affect the timing of when baby chooses to come, but I just kindof have that feeling... I'm not nervous about labor or birthing, and I'm not terribly anxious either (in that I'm glad I still have a few weeks because I don't feel like I have everything ready!) but I do know that it's coming, and probably sooner rather than later, so I'm starting to think about labor as fairly imminent. (The frequent braxton-hicks are a good reminder of that too--and they've just continued to get more frequent in the last few weeks.)
I have not washed the little jammies and hats, so I do need to do that. I need to gather up the birth day stuff and get it into one place so that I'm not running around when labor actually starts. I need to assemble the crib (which, with one side off and scooted next to our bed, will be a co-sleeper). Otherwise, I'm basically just trying to savor the time I have now with my older kids, because I know that once the baby comes things will get busier.
Oh, and we need to find a middle name for the little guy. That's starting to feel really urgent to me.
Congratulations! You’re now carrying nearly 6 lbs of baby not counting their amniotic fluid, the umbilical cord, or the placenta itself. We’re impressed because that’s a LOT of work non-stop. Are you feeling proud of yourself yet? Well, get to it—you’ve done an amazing job! At this point, your little grower is almost busting out of the womb size-wise, which make their restricted attempts to move much challenging. Of course, your stubborn little sucker is still trying to move around as if he weren’t in a cramped space. And the accumulating baby fat deposits are starting to level off so your little butter ball will be padded and warm when he heads out of his super snug little home.
The baby is definitely filling up all the space in there. I'm feeling big and somewhat worn out. I'm looking forward to the little things like being able to see my feet, bend over to pick something up, or just roll over in bed without it being a major production. Of course I know very well that it's easier to care for a baby who's on the inside than for one that's on the outside, so I'm not about to rush him...but I will be thoroughly ready to welcome him out (and my normal little body back) when the time comes.
The baby is definitely filling up all the space in there. I'm feeling big and somewhat worn out. I'm looking forward to the little things like being able to see my feet, bend over to pick something up, or just roll over in bed without it being a major production. Of course I know very well that it's easier to care for a baby who's on the inside than for one that's on the outside, so I'm not about to rush him...but I will be thoroughly ready to welcome him out (and my normal little body back) when the time comes.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Facebook Friday
shall we make this a multi-week roundup? ☺
Sunday Sep 6
Jenni is glad that Bear was happy in both hours of nursery today, and that I was able to actually go to my classes instead of sitting with him. [After a slow start, he's been liking nursery all month. A few times he's asked me when we get to go to nursery, and during the one meeting before it (when he gets to sit with me) he has started saying "I'm done here, let's go to nursery now."]
Monday Sep 7
...has a whole bunch of etsy orders to fill this week. Yay for income!
Wednesday Sep 9
...admits to having started to unpack the baby stuff. Heeheehee!
Thursday Sep 10
...dated a half dozen things with 9/11 instead of 9/10 today...is it because it's a familiar date or because I'm trying to speed up time till baby comes? Hmm, maybe it's just because I have no idea what day it is (as usual).
Friday Sep 11
... is getting a new vacuum. WOOT WOOT!!!
Saturday Sep 12
...needs to find somewhere to get a good family photo this Christmas...now that I'm unpacking things I haven't seen in years I've discovered that our last family photo was over *coughfivecough* years ago!!!
Monday Sep 14
...had a productive day....but is really wishing she had a chiropractor appointment instead of a dentist appointment this afternoon.
...also wants chocolate pie. Anybody want to make me one?!
Tuesday Sep 15
...is so inspired: my friend just gave birth to twins, naturally, at home, they were both breech, they were full term, and they were not tiny babies either (both close to 7 lbs--she's a little lady). God made our bodies to do such amazing things!
Friday Sep 18
...spent a while at the chiropractor yesterday...whew, I feel like a new woman!
Sunday Sep 20
...thinks that more people should do more of their shopping on etsy. I'm just sayin!!!
Monday Sep 21
...JUST GOT HER VACUUM!! (thank you UPS man!!) and it is AWESOME!!!
Tuesday Sep 22
...wonders why school pictures are so expensive. They're usually not even that good. [Wolf's order form came home that day *sigh*]
Monday Sep 28
...is glad that we finally get PFDs this year...and has already figured out productive ways to spend all of ours...twice over...
The midwife felt my belly and said I'm "all baby"...does that mean that I have no extra fat (good), or that the kiddo is 15lbs?! (not so good!)
[yes, I've gained 15lbs as of my last appointment...oh, and the photo is from last week at 33wks]
Wednesday Sep 30
...is glad for some free moose meat, a sleeping toddler, and a little time to get some sewing done (without said toddler trying to climb in my lap!)
Thursday Oct 1
...got the paycheck today and PFDs are due in one week...joy, now we can pay all the bills!
Friday Oct 2
...realized that I'm 34wks pregnant now, but rather than a month and a half till baby, it's likely to only be a month (based on the timing last time). Ohmygosh I suddenly feel like time is very very short...gotta nest, gotta nest! [thankfully the only things I really have left are assembling the cosleeper aka crib, washing some clothing, and collecting the stuff I'll need for labor/birth...the blankets and diapers are already washed and in the drawers. ☺]
... is blaring Indigo Girls and making homemade pizza dough for dinner.
Sunday Sep 6
Jenni is glad that Bear was happy in both hours of nursery today, and that I was able to actually go to my classes instead of sitting with him. [After a slow start, he's been liking nursery all month. A few times he's asked me when we get to go to nursery, and during the one meeting before it (when he gets to sit with me) he has started saying "I'm done here, let's go to nursery now."]
Monday Sep 7
...has a whole bunch of etsy orders to fill this week. Yay for income!
Wednesday Sep 9
...admits to having started to unpack the baby stuff. Heeheehee!
Thursday Sep 10
...dated a half dozen things with 9/11 instead of 9/10 today...is it because it's a familiar date or because I'm trying to speed up time till baby comes? Hmm, maybe it's just because I have no idea what day it is (as usual).
Friday Sep 11
... is getting a new vacuum. WOOT WOOT!!!
Saturday Sep 12
...needs to find somewhere to get a good family photo this Christmas...now that I'm unpacking things I haven't seen in years I've discovered that our last family photo was over *coughfivecough* years ago!!!
Monday Sep 14
...had a productive day....but is really wishing she had a chiropractor appointment instead of a dentist appointment this afternoon.
...also wants chocolate pie. Anybody want to make me one?!
Tuesday Sep 15
...is so inspired: my friend just gave birth to twins, naturally, at home, they were both breech, they were full term, and they were not tiny babies either (both close to 7 lbs--she's a little lady). God made our bodies to do such amazing things!
Friday Sep 18
...spent a while at the chiropractor yesterday...whew, I feel like a new woman!
Sunday Sep 20
...thinks that more people should do more of their shopping on etsy. I'm just sayin!!!
Monday Sep 21
...JUST GOT HER VACUUM!! (thank you UPS man!!) and it is AWESOME!!!
Tuesday Sep 22
...wonders why school pictures are so expensive. They're usually not even that good. [Wolf's order form came home that day *sigh*]
Monday Sep 28...is glad that we finally get PFDs this year...and has already figured out productive ways to spend all of ours...twice over...
The midwife felt my belly and said I'm "all baby"...does that mean that I have no extra fat (good), or that the kiddo is 15lbs?! (not so good!)
[yes, I've gained 15lbs as of my last appointment...oh, and the photo is from last week at 33wks]
Wednesday Sep 30
...is glad for some free moose meat, a sleeping toddler, and a little time to get some sewing done (without said toddler trying to climb in my lap!)
Thursday Oct 1
...got the paycheck today and PFDs are due in one week...joy, now we can pay all the bills!
Friday Oct 2
...realized that I'm 34wks pregnant now, but rather than a month and a half till baby, it's likely to only be a month (based on the timing last time). Ohmygosh I suddenly feel like time is very very short...gotta nest, gotta nest! [thankfully the only things I really have left are assembling the cosleeper aka crib, washing some clothing, and collecting the stuff I'll need for labor/birth...the blankets and diapers are already washed and in the drawers. ☺]
... is blaring Indigo Girls and making homemade pizza dough for dinner.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
32 Weeks--Nesting and the New Midwife
Ahh, over 4lbs and about a foot and a half long (you got that, he's close to birth length, even though he's got at least a couple of pounds to grow) no wonder I can feel him pushing and wiggling all over in there. He likes to stretch out and push against my pelvis and my ribs at the same time...laying down in bed at night feels great because it lets me (and him) stretch out. I'm blessed with a long torso, so I guess I have more room in there than a lot of women do, but even I start getting squished at this point. ☺
Your not-so-little-one is just a bit closer to their birth weight and height at around 4 pounds and 17 inches. With each added layer of baby fat, your baby's skin starts to look more and more like it will when they finally get to see the light of day. The heavy news: you can expect your miracle-gro muffin to gain about a half a pound of weight per week from now until about two weeks before birth.I am getting Braxton-Hicks contractions fairly regularly now. I don't generally find them painful, although I definitely do notice them...it's just a big squeeze in my middle. BHs are sometimes referred to as "false labor" but that's something of a misnomer...they are real and they are doing something, it's just not full on labor. It's more like "practice labor," and thank heaven for it because every little bit that can get done now is a bit that I won't have to worry about on delivery day!
Your baby's still-developing immune system has gained substantial strength over the past few weeks getting them in full gear to face our disease-ridden world o’ wonders. Obviously, a large majority of your child’s immune strength will be derived from exposure to breast milk as well as the outside elements. Their cute little noggin’ (which could already be covered with luscious locks or just purty peach fuzz), is still soft because the skull bones have not yet fused together. As much as that sounds a little too vulnerable, their “skull softness” allows for a much smoother passage through the birth canal during labor—something both you and your little swimmer will appreciate when it’s finally time to “go!” Also, some babies will have that “soft spot” on their head for up to one year after birth.
I've gained about 15lbs at this point, which I think is slightly 'behind' on the average curve, but it seems pretty normal for me. I had gained 10 or 11lbs at this stage last time. I seem to just wait till the second half of my pregnancy to put on any weight, but then I gain it steadily enough and Bear was a healthy size so I'm not the least bit worried about Eagle. I have a gut feeling that Eagle is (or will be) a little bigger than Bear was, but I'm really not worried. Bear wasn't that big (I was actually surprised at how little he was--just over 7lbs) so we've easily got a couple of pounds leeway.
32 weeks, as you may recall, was the time when I got my first stretch marks with Bear. Well, I haven't noticed any new ones this time around, and since I have plenty and to spare leftover from that pregnancy I am hoping that they will last me through this one too and I won't need any new stripes this time. I guess only time will tell!
I had my first prenatal appointment with my new midwife last week and I'm so happy with her. Even when I was seeing the midwives in Utah I felt like I was on a bit of an assembly line, or a to-do list...it was just such a busy clinic that I'd have to wait for my appointment, then they'd take me back and I'd wait some more in the room, then the midwife would come in and spend 5 minutes with me and be on her way. 45minutes in the office and only 5 of it with the midwife, you know? Sure, they were nice, but they were just in a hurry. My midwife here, A, practices on her own, so it's a small office and she doesn't take too many mothers at once. I hardly had to wait at all and she spent over an hour with me. One thing I really liked was that she felt my belly to determine the baby's position (my OB did that one time with Bear--toward the end, to make sure he'd turned head-down, but A does it at every visit). Since she knew precisely how the little Eagle was laying, she was able to put the doppler in precisely the right spot to hear his heart (rather than moving it around and spreading goo all over my belly as she hunted, which is what the other midwives always did). Another thing I loved about A was that she made Bear part of the appointment--she let him climb up on the table next to me and then let him put the doppler on my belly in the place she indicated--he was so pleased with himself when that thumpa-thumpa came over the speaker.
Aaaaand, yes, I'm nesting. As we've gotten things unpacked and settled in here in our new home, I've found myself feeling the need to get out baby things too. So I've gotten out (and washed) all the baby blankets. I've gotten out the small size of cloth diapers. I've got all my babywearing things unpacked again...it's terribly fun looking at the tiny jammies and remembering how they are way too big for the newborns...but how they get outgrown in a matter of weeks (or days) after birth. I haven't set up the crib yet--but I have to save something for the last month, right?!
Now that I have my midwife here, and I have seen where I'll be giving birth, I'm able to start visualizing D-day (delivery day). I'm getting really excited for this birth...I was always excited for the baby, but I'm starting to get into the headspace of preparing for the actual birth, and that's exciting. Two of my friends have had babies recently and I've been reading their birth stories (one had twins, naturally, at home, and both were breech!). I've been reading [natural] birth stories from books too, and it's so inspiring to read page after page of stories of women bringing their babies into the world. ☺
Friday, August 28, 2009
Expectations when You're Expecting
A recent conversation with a friend gave me the chance to sort and organize my thoughts about how a woman’s preconceptions about labor affect how she perceives the sensations of labor as they are happening. I felt like I was fairly eloquent in that conversation and I hope that my attempt to transcribe my thoughts here will come out as well.
The short version of it all is that every woman and every labor are different. But I believe (and have heard quite a few birth stories which vindicate the belief) that most women get the labor they expect. It may not be the labor they planned for, it may not be the labor they wanted, but at least to some degree it was probably the one that they expected. “Expected” may not be the best word…in some cases perhaps it is more accurate to say that they get the labor that they feared…but that is actually precisely what I am getting at: if a woman has negative expectations (or the fear of certain negative things happening) I think that her body will probably get the message, and she is much more likely to have a negative experience.
(As a note, yes I realize that there are various complications which can affect the realities of labor, regardless of the woman’s mindset…chemical induction or augmentation of labor tends to cause more intense contractions, a poorly positioned baby can lead to back labor which by all accounts is much harder than laboring with a better-positioned baby, and if the mother is tired or stressed or inhibited for other reasons those can all affect labor too...So of course I make these comments merely as general observations. Since we’re on the subject of complications though, it is also worth noting that many of them, including things like poor positioning and induction, can be avoided in many cases, so it’s worth being educated enough to avoid those complications if at all possible!)
I can only speculate of course. I cannot get into the inner psyche of another woman and determine what kinds of thoughts and preconceptions were in her head prior to labor. I only know what my experience was, and what other women have told me about theirs. Based on those though, here is what I have concluded:
Women tend to fall into three main groups in their perceptions of labor
Those who know my personality can probably guess which mindset I chose, and guess what: I got precisely what I expected. Labor was a lot of work, it was tiring, and after 12 or 15 hours it got pretty hard. I remember the thing that ended up being the most helpful during contractions was for my husband to repeat to me over and over “you can do anything for one minute,” because you know, I could! At the moment of the “ring of fire” (just as the head squeezed through) it hurt like crazy…but those few seconds passed in, well, seconds, and then I had a baby to hold. I have no hesitation in going into my second labor with the same mindset. I think back to Stephen Gaskin’s quote about labor being heavy, and that if you’ve never done anything heavy (or hard) in your life then labor is going to be thoroughly overwhelming…but if you’re not afraid of some hard work, then what’s to fear about labor?!
The short version of it all is that every woman and every labor are different. But I believe (and have heard quite a few birth stories which vindicate the belief) that most women get the labor they expect. It may not be the labor they planned for, it may not be the labor they wanted, but at least to some degree it was probably the one that they expected. “Expected” may not be the best word…in some cases perhaps it is more accurate to say that they get the labor that they feared…but that is actually precisely what I am getting at: if a woman has negative expectations (or the fear of certain negative things happening) I think that her body will probably get the message, and she is much more likely to have a negative experience.
(As a note, yes I realize that there are various complications which can affect the realities of labor, regardless of the woman’s mindset…chemical induction or augmentation of labor tends to cause more intense contractions, a poorly positioned baby can lead to back labor which by all accounts is much harder than laboring with a better-positioned baby, and if the mother is tired or stressed or inhibited for other reasons those can all affect labor too...So of course I make these comments merely as general observations. Since we’re on the subject of complications though, it is also worth noting that many of them, including things like poor positioning and induction, can be avoided in many cases, so it’s worth being educated enough to avoid those complications if at all possible!)
I can only speculate of course. I cannot get into the inner psyche of another woman and determine what kinds of thoughts and preconceptions were in her head prior to labor. I only know what my experience was, and what other women have told me about theirs. Based on those though, here is what I have concluded:
Women tend to fall into three main groups in their perceptions of labor
- Those who expect pain, and either plan for medication or else take classes to learn coping techniques to deal with that pain. These women may take classes that promise painless birthing or totally relaxed birthing, but if they still expect labor to be painful, then (in my opinion) no amount of practicing techniques is likely to remove the pain from their labors. (One woman I know practiced her birth hypnosis routines faithfully and told me that in labor she was completely relaxed but still in the worst pain of her life. Complicating factors aside, I am left to wonder if the psychological was part of that.)
- Those who expect no pain, in spite of avoiding medication, and may even plan to relax though the whole thing (typically because they have taken a class that told them they could). These women usually use words like “surges” or “rushes” instead of “contractions” because they find them more positive. I confess I’m slightly skeptical of this group because, unless she’s had a painless labor before, I’d be surprised to find any woman who genuinely expects labor to be painless.
- Those who expect work, which will be intense, and may include hurting (like a serious workout), but not ‘pain’ in a negative sense of the word. They don’t mind hearing the “hard labor” stories, nor using words like “contraction” (it IS an accurate description of the uterine motion, after all), but they perceive it all through the lens of ‘work’ rather than the lens of ‘pain.’ They gear up for labor as for a marathon, and they don’t mind getting down and dirty because they know that they will also get the high that comes from completing the race.
Those who know my personality can probably guess which mindset I chose, and guess what: I got precisely what I expected. Labor was a lot of work, it was tiring, and after 12 or 15 hours it got pretty hard. I remember the thing that ended up being the most helpful during contractions was for my husband to repeat to me over and over “you can do anything for one minute,” because you know, I could! At the moment of the “ring of fire” (just as the head squeezed through) it hurt like crazy…but those few seconds passed in, well, seconds, and then I had a baby to hold. I have no hesitation in going into my second labor with the same mindset. I think back to Stephen Gaskin’s quote about labor being heavy, and that if you’ve never done anything heavy (or hard) in your life then labor is going to be thoroughly overwhelming…but if you’re not afraid of some hard work, then what’s to fear about labor?!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
29 Weeks
First of all, it has been a really long time since I've posted pictures. My apologies, but see I've been busy. First I sorted my entire household into "stuff we will need during the summer" and "stuff that can sit in storage" and "stuff to sell/leave behind." Then I packed/mailed/sold/left it. Then I spent a week and a half on the road, including 12 hours on ferries and 16 in the car and 5 on a jet. Then I spent two months in another state, 3000 miles from home (oh, wait, without a home...) where the weather was rediculously hot. I put dozens of hours of work in at my house (you know, the one I own, which isn't the one I live in). I found new renters for that house, and chased down an apartment for us to move into when we got back up here. Then we spent another 5 hours flying back up here, and 4 hours driving to our new city. Since then I've spent two weeks unpacking and organizing my new home, along with about 12 hours worth of traveling to other cities to do things like get the rest of our stuff from storage or *ahem* buy a couch. All the while I've been chasing a toddler, trying to get him to sleep through the night, helping two kids get settled into a new place, helping one kid get ready to start at a new school (including riding the bus which he's never done before)...
All of this is why I feel tired I think...more tired than at this stage of the last pregnancy anyway. I don't think being 3 years older is enough to make me feel this much more tired...but then again, who knows.
In any case, here are some photos:
28 wks with Bear ~~~~~~~and~~~~~~~28 wks with Eagle
And one showing the belly (cuz I know you all thought I'd been stuffing a pillow in there all this time)...complete with stripes. I haven't gotten any new ones this time...not yet anyhow. Fingers crossed that Bear gave me enough stripes that I won't need any more!
(I look kinda tired or something...hmm...wonder why that is...)And now for a few minutes on the progress of the little guy...
He is 15-16 inches long, and about 2.5lbs. He can open and close his eyes, hear us when we talk to him (or even when we don't), and he has started being interactive!
His wiggles are no longer "little flutters" like when he weighed mere ounces. Instead he is able to push things right off my belly, and his movement is easily visible from the outside! He's big enough that if I lay on my side for a while I can feel his spine...if I prod around a bit I can push on his bum (which of course moves his whole body, and tends to press his head into my bladder, so I find it just as annoying as he probably does!). I've also been able to locate hands or feet a couple of times (I can't tell which, but they are small, bony, and he always punches me when I grab them!)
Names are still under debate...we think we've found a first name, so that's something, but for some reason we are really struggling with a middle name this time around. Oh well, at least we have something to call him besides "little brother" and "the baby"...but I will feel better when we have his whole name figured out.
In the meantime, I am meeting with a couple of local care providers, so within a week or two I'll finally know who is going to be attending me for this birth. It's a weird thing to not get that figured out until the last 10 weeks, but I guess this pregnancy has been weird in a lot of ways. ☺
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
26 Weeks
Ahh, week 26--that means we're entering the third trimester now! Less than 100 days to go till we get to meet this kiddo (give or take!)
We are on the road (in the midst of getting settled into our new place in Alaska, so there's not much of a post...more coming when we are settled. ☺
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
23 Weeks
At this point you’ve pretty much adjusted to the fact you’ve got a moving little gymnast inside of you, but now they’re going to kick up the party a notch because they can hear and react to sounds from the outside world. Sounds from your alarm clock, a thunder roll, or that darned car honking at you across the intersection can actually jar their little ears enough to elicit a kick or violent bout of squirming. Of course this also means that their little ears are picking up the sounds of your voice and those near you. So go ahead, sing a lullaby to your little angel—if they start kicking, it’s likely they just want you to stop… or maybe it was a kick of approval? You decide. Your baby's tiny taste buds are still growing and their bones are continuing to ossify (harden), their tiny veins are visible through their translucent yet wrinkly skin. (Think of it this way: they’ve been swimming in the equivalent of a long hot bath for the past 23 weeks, so you can’t blame them for being a little prune-like.)
They aren't kidding when they refer to the kiddo as a little gymnast. I've been feeling little flutters and bumps for weeks, but since the last update I've started being able to see them (yep, from the outside...little bulges pushing out of my belly, or something moving along under the surface in an eerily alien-like way). Daddy and big brothers have been able to feel the little brother's movements now too, which is always a nice stage to reach.
As for myself, I feel wiped out all the time (which I think is only partly due to the pregnancy, and partly due to the July heat in Utah and partly due to the 6000' altitude here compared to the sea level that I'm used to). I am eagerly looking forward to returning to Alaska with the cooler, moister air and more hospitable altitude.
I've also started needing to pee every couple of hours. While other women have told me that they had this need from the mid- or even early parts of pregnancy, my experience with Bear was that I had pretty normal bladder needs until the last month or so. That is not the case with this child! Bear was head-up until 30-something weeks, whereas the ultrasound said that this baby is already head-down, so I wonder if that may be part of it (heads are large and heavy and having one on my bladder seems a logical reason for needing extra potty trips!) Regardless of the reason, I'm making a midnight potty trip (or two) nearly every night, and lots more than I'm accustomed to during the day.
(By the way, I'll write this in small print because it's not set in stone quite yet...but I think that little brother will be called Eagle...oh if only it were that easy to choose his legal name!)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Well we had one of them ultrasound things...
...they took a lot of measurements (baby's head, baby's abdomen, baby's femur, etc) and concluded that I was right with the due date I'd estimated. Um, folks, my husband was out of town for two weeks, then home for 5 days, then out of town for another two weeks...I was pretty darn sure that I was right about my dates!!
Yep, unless we are having a girl with some odd cyst or tumor on her lower abdomen, this baby will bring the score to Boys: 3 Girls: 0
I guess I should stock up on camo fabric.
Yep, unless we are having a girl with some odd cyst or tumor on her lower abdomen, this baby will bring the score to Boys: 3 Girls: 0
I guess I should stock up on camo fabric.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
20 Weeks - fundal measurements and other belly fun
Of course, yours truly measured a little ahead at my prenatal appointment two weeks ago (in the latter parts of pregnancy it is common to measure fundal height, which is from the pubic bone to the top of the fundus/uterus. The centimeters of the measurement supposedly should stay about equal with the weeks of gestation, and if there is a consistent major difference between them it could mean a mistake about gestational dates or that there is more than one baby. Thus mothers of twins may make comments such as "I measured 46 weeks along when I delivered" even though they delivered at 38 weeks.) At my 18wk appointment, I measured 21cm, or "21 weeks." I measured exactly "on schedule" at every appointment with Bear, but I theorize that now that my belly has been out there once, it's obligingly stretching a little faster this time (which is common for subsequent pregnancies). I'm not the least bit worried about it, but do find it an interesting observation.
And then there are stretch marks...but I posted about those last week!
Oh, and since we're talking about bellies, yes, here's mine (sorry I never got one in at the 17ish week post...this photo is from 19 wks)
(every mama needs a leopard print maternity shirt, don't you think?!)Thursday, June 18, 2009
Tiger Stripes
This is the part of pregnancy where women start to get stressed (if they weren't already) about stretch marks.
They buy lotions and creams and rub them on their bellies religiously, in the hope that somehow their postpartum belly will look just the same as their pre-pregnancy tummy did. However the simple truth is that stretch marks are genetic and there's not much of anything you can do to affect whether you get them. Some women will not get any, and some women will get a million. Keeping yourself well-hydrated is your best bet, because it will help your skin be more elastic, BUT if you have stretch marks anywhere else (hips, breasts, etc) then you are almost certain to get them on your belly when pregnant. Period. And that's ok!
I didn't get any stretch marks until I was about 32 weeks along with Bear (I had nearly concluded that I might not get any at all!) then I got a little row right along the very bottom of my belly... Two weeks later I noticed another little row developing just above the original ones. In the final few weeks of my pregnancy my belly filled in with stripes all the way up to (and a few past) my belly button. I didn't get particularly large in my pregnancy--I was at a healthy weight before it and gained a very healthy 27lbs. But I got well-striped.
This picture is from about a year after Bear was born (a year before I became pregnant with this kiddo), and you can see both my not-so-flat belly and my beautiful stripes.
Yep, I just said beautiful stripes. It's not the belly I was born with, and it's not a belly that's going to make the cover of any magazines I suppose, but it's beautiful, because those marks are the indication of a belly that has fulfilled its calling in life: it has grown a baby (or several), and just as the weather-worn farmer shows the beauty of a productive life, so a baby-striped belly is beautiful too.
They were a little hard to accept at first--I had never been one to show my midriff so it wasn't that it affected my wardrobe at all--but I felt that I'd lost something of my youthfulness, and was sure that my husband would find me less attractive because of it. Over time I adjusted to the new me, and I've had a few thoughts about stripey tummies. First of all, most mothers have them. Seriously, some have more stripes than others, but most women are going to get at least a few stretch marks. Of course the magazine-cover models (even the ones who've had children) are airbrushed, so even if they have marks (and I bet at least some of them do) their marks don't make the final print...but we all know that those kinds of photos aren't realistic anyway, right? Yeah, I know, they are in our faces all the time, but they're inaccurate and it's much healthier to focus on what real women look like. That's why I would like to recommend the website The Shape of a Mother. The goal of SOAM is to share photos of what real women look like, and I know many mothers who have found it comforting to realize that they are not alone in their new shapes and stripes. I will warn that most of the photos are unclothed to some degree (most show bellies, many show breasts, some are fully bare, and some angles are more discreet than others), so use your own judgment and comfort level in determining whether to visit the site or how much to peruse.
They buy lotions and creams and rub them on their bellies religiously, in the hope that somehow their postpartum belly will look just the same as their pre-pregnancy tummy did. However the simple truth is that stretch marks are genetic and there's not much of anything you can do to affect whether you get them. Some women will not get any, and some women will get a million. Keeping yourself well-hydrated is your best bet, because it will help your skin be more elastic, BUT if you have stretch marks anywhere else (hips, breasts, etc) then you are almost certain to get them on your belly when pregnant. Period. And that's ok!
I didn't get any stretch marks until I was about 32 weeks along with Bear (I had nearly concluded that I might not get any at all!) then I got a little row right along the very bottom of my belly... Two weeks later I noticed another little row developing just above the original ones. In the final few weeks of my pregnancy my belly filled in with stripes all the way up to (and a few past) my belly button. I didn't get particularly large in my pregnancy--I was at a healthy weight before it and gained a very healthy 27lbs. But I got well-striped.
This picture is from about a year after Bear was born (a year before I became pregnant with this kiddo), and you can see both my not-so-flat belly and my beautiful stripes.
Yep, I just said beautiful stripes. It's not the belly I was born with, and it's not a belly that's going to make the cover of any magazines I suppose, but it's beautiful, because those marks are the indication of a belly that has fulfilled its calling in life: it has grown a baby (or several), and just as the weather-worn farmer shows the beauty of a productive life, so a baby-striped belly is beautiful too.
They were a little hard to accept at first--I had never been one to show my midriff so it wasn't that it affected my wardrobe at all--but I felt that I'd lost something of my youthfulness, and was sure that my husband would find me less attractive because of it. Over time I adjusted to the new me, and I've had a few thoughts about stripey tummies. First of all, most mothers have them. Seriously, some have more stripes than others, but most women are going to get at least a few stretch marks. Of course the magazine-cover models (even the ones who've had children) are airbrushed, so even if they have marks (and I bet at least some of them do) their marks don't make the final print...but we all know that those kinds of photos aren't realistic anyway, right? Yeah, I know, they are in our faces all the time, but they're inaccurate and it's much healthier to focus on what real women look like. That's why I would like to recommend the website The Shape of a Mother. The goal of SOAM is to share photos of what real women look like, and I know many mothers who have found it comforting to realize that they are not alone in their new shapes and stripes. I will warn that most of the photos are unclothed to some degree (most show bellies, many show breasts, some are fully bare, and some angles are more discreet than others), so use your own judgment and comfort level in determining whether to visit the site or how much to peruse.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The Most Beautiful Sound in the World
There are lots of beautiful sounds in the world: laughter, spring rain, a crackling campfire, Andrea Bocelli singing...
But there is one that is more beautiful than all the others:
Lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub
It's the sound of your unborn baby's heartbeat (especially the first time you hear it). I've been feeling the little one move for over a month--little flutters at first, and in the last couple of weeks some good thumps too (the kind that can't be mistaken for intestinal bubbles!), so I know that baby is alive and well...but there is still nothing quite like that quick little lub-dub lub-dub on the doppler.
So my first prenatal appointment was today. Given the choice, I would have liked to do it a month or so ago, but this was how the logistics worked out, so 18wks gestation it is. Being the small world that it is, the midwife I saw (whom I'd never met before) lived in Alaska for several years--including 4 years in one of the areas we're considering moving to. She told me her recommendations concerning the providers there, and when I mentioned the provider I'd heard recommended (a GP who does obstetrics), she said oh yes he's wonderful, and by the way he's also LDS...and on the school board...she said he's the kind of guy that if we call him and say hi from her and then tell him our situation, he'll probably go out of his way to pull strings and try to help Hubby find a job there. So I'm inclined to call him. ☺
In a couple of weeks I'll have an ultrasound and at that point we hope to be able to see whether this wild thing is made with pink babydust or blue; but until then I am more than content to hear the soft little patter of lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub.
But there is one that is more beautiful than all the others:
Lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub
It's the sound of your unborn baby's heartbeat (especially the first time you hear it). I've been feeling the little one move for over a month--little flutters at first, and in the last couple of weeks some good thumps too (the kind that can't be mistaken for intestinal bubbles!), so I know that baby is alive and well...but there is still nothing quite like that quick little lub-dub lub-dub on the doppler.
So my first prenatal appointment was today. Given the choice, I would have liked to do it a month or so ago, but this was how the logistics worked out, so 18wks gestation it is. Being the small world that it is, the midwife I saw (whom I'd never met before) lived in Alaska for several years--including 4 years in one of the areas we're considering moving to. She told me her recommendations concerning the providers there, and when I mentioned the provider I'd heard recommended (a GP who does obstetrics), she said oh yes he's wonderful, and by the way he's also LDS...and on the school board...she said he's the kind of guy that if we call him and say hi from her and then tell him our situation, he'll probably go out of his way to pull strings and try to help Hubby find a job there. So I'm inclined to call him. ☺
In a couple of weeks I'll have an ultrasound and at that point we hope to be able to see whether this wild thing is made with pink babydust or blue; but until then I am more than content to hear the soft little patter of lub-dub lub-dub lub-dub.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
17 Weeks
(did you notice that I've started using different tickers each time? It's kinda fun finding new tickers! This particular site has a whole bunch of cool icons--babywearing, carseats, finger signs, zodiac...oh yeah, and did you notice the brilliant use of leopard print?! ☺ )
Don't be too shocked but... your baby is EVEN bigger than it was last week, not to mention getting cuter, and smarter every day! As you’ve come to expect, there’s no shortage of growth and development this week: your fantastic little bean stalk has added yet another half inch to their overall height-- making them nearly half a foot long! Their little limbs have reached (or are within one week of) their relative proportions, and will continue to grow evenly with the rest of the body after this week. Reactive listening has begun for your baby, even though their ears are not yet structurally complete or fully functional. Meanwhile, different parts of their astonishingly complex brain are developing to process your little one’s hearing and other senses, (you know, sight, smell, taste and touch). Mind boggling factoid of the week: if you’re having going to have a little girl, her ovaries have already produced millions of primordial egg cells, which, within a few weeks, will develop into actual eggs!
I can't post a picture this time because we're still on the road, BUT I will try to get one soon, along with updating you on all the other fun stuff that's going on!
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