Sunday, May 2, 2010

Femininity vs. Feminism

Once upon a time women in this country were repressed. They were not just "the gentle sex" or "the fair sex" but also "the lesser sex." They were beaten and abused and in most cultures had few if any rights. Once upon a time suffragettes marched for the right to vote. Had I been alive, I would have been there right beside Cady Stanton, Susan B Anthony, and Amelia Bloomer, demanding that women be allowed to dress as they pleased and vote in elections.Once those rights were secured, women began pushing into other things that had previously been male-only domain. They demanded easier access to education, and the right to work. They instigated legislation to punish perpetrators of domestic violence, abuse, and sexual harassment. Were these fights still being fought I would be standing there beside the fighters.

With equal rights established however, the movement called 'feminism' began to push for other things. It began to focus on cultural acceptance and approval for crudeness in language and behavior. It fought for--and won--the right to abort babies without medical reason (where are the rights of the unborn women?!) It fought to teach women that they cannot be complete or fulfilled unless they have a career outside the home, and to preach the notion that keeping a home and raising children is inferior to having a career. In other words, the feminist movement began to undermine all the things that made women unique. In the quest for 'equality' feminism has pushed so far and so fast that it has gone far beyond the mark, so that now women are fighting, not for the right to be women, but for the right to be men; or, more accurately, to be more than men. By demanding sameness across the genders, women are forfeiting the things that make us special and unique. In order for masculinity to be valuable, it must be balanced by femininity! As the movement of feminism gains strength in the world, femininity is losing the ability to be a moderating force in the world, or to create balance between masculine and feminine. This is not empowering anyone; it is stifling everyone.

I am staunchly feminine, staunchly pro-woman. Therefore, I can only conclude that in this country, and at this stage in history, I must be anti-feminism.

There are fights worth fighting, even still. Women are being held down in places like Afghanistan and what support we can give is worth the fight. Women are victims of domestic abuse in our own country, and what we can do to support and help them here is of course worth our while. However the larger 'feminism' movement in this country has lost the nobility of purpose that once guided them. They have turned toward anger and vulgarity to accomplish their goals, and their goals are no longer positive or even things worth fighting for.
If you dare, you might check out the post "I HATED The Vagina Monologues and So Should You" (disclaimer: the play--and therefore the post--have sexual content including pedophilia, rape, lesbianism and prostitution).

I conclude with a link to two inspirational blog posts:


Ayla said...


Laura said...

Hi, I lurk around your blog :)

I am totally with you. I would have been right there with Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony. In fact, I did a report on Elizabeth Cady Stanton in eighth grade.

But I cannot stand with the feminists who insist on women not being wives and mothers, and just have careers. I think it's just fine for women to have some kind of an outlet, but not at the expense of neglecting their families.

Mallory said...

My husband and I talk about this a lot...the good that the feminist movement did in the beginning....but the horrible consequences that have come about now. (I blame the feminist movement for the low breastfeeding statistics today!)

Aprillium said...

This is an interesting stance to me. mainly because I am an admitted feminist :) You have every right to your opinion, but I thought I might take a stab at showing the other point of view?

I'm a feminist because I believe in equality. Not because I believe women at "better". I believe a male rape victim should have just as much retribution is a female one, believe it or not, this is a feminist stance. Those that say otherwise are really misandrists (it's the opposite of misogynists).

I think that though women now have many rights that are equal to men in this country, in the majority of the world they do not (see genital feminine mutilation) and have no recourse. I think those women are worth fighting for.

Basically, I don't think being a feminist means I can't be feminine (I love, LOVE high heals!), it means that I don't want to be treated differently only on account of my gender, and I would be ticked if the same thing were to happen to my husband...

As far as the abortion topic goes I think that many feminists (at least religious ones) are not "anti-life" and they hesitate to label themselves "pro-choice". Many view abortion as murder, but have a hard time putting the choice of when it is needed (aka mom or child or both are going to die) in the grasp of the government (I know I would feel deeply violated if the government decided it needed to investigate my miscarriage on the grounds that it might have been a self induced abortion...) instead of their doctors and themselves.

I sincerely hope I caused no offense by disagreeing. I do see your points and agree that women and men are different and should find value in those differences(heck I'm a stay at home mom by choice!), I just don't think that choices should be pushed on people (be they to go be a professional, or to be a stay at home mom) unless the individual truly chooses it.

Sorry for the novel!

Sarah Garner said...

I loved this post and definitely share your sentiments. I also loved the post about the Vagina Monolouges and am glad I won't have to waste money to find out for myself that it does not represent the "feminism" I believe in.

I honestly feel so happy, empowered and blessed to be a woman. I feel sad for women who feel they have to shun their "feminine" selves and become more manly to make it in the world.

I was trying to find a quote that I love (which speaks about how women are divinely different from men and to have women participating in certain activities of men hardens them and makes them more manlike and less feminine - but obviously written more eloquently than that) but I was unable to find it but found this quote in the process of looking which I also loved:

"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity."
Margaret D. Nadauld

Your post also made me think of this post by CJane which I enjoyed - there's a good discussion in the comments as well.

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