Turtleneck Appreciation Week

A little story

Once upon a time, there was a lovely thing called the turtleneck sweater. It was soft and stretchy, and kept people's necks warm when the weather got cool. It could roll down to cover just part of the neck in the warmer cool weather, and it could unroll for the really cold times. Everyone appreciated turtlenecks,  everyone had them, and everyone was happy.

One day, a Designer got it into his head that turtlenecks looked funny. He cut the turtlenecks off all the sweaters he could find, leaving wide collars and open necks. At first people didn't like it; their necks got cold, they had to use scarves and other extra things to stay warm enough. Where once just the simple turtleneck had been enough, now they needed accessories.

Of course this was good business for the Designers, and so one after another jumped on board with the new look. Low-cut necks! Scarves! Necklaces! What's not to love! Over time, people became so accustomed to the low-cut look that it became considered 'normal.' The rare person who did wear a turtleneck was considered old-fashioned or backward.

But some people remembered what turtlenecks were like. They remembered how soft and comfortable and warm and simple and practical they were. They went on wearing them, and tried to help others realize that the Designers were following whim and income, rather than practicality or common sense. Some people believed them, and even though the vast majority of the population had given up turtlenecks for over a century, slowly they started trying them again. Once someone tried turtlenecks, they almost always became an advocate for them, and so slowly the turtleneck-wearing population increased to nearly half.

The Designers were distraught. How could they make money on accessories if everyone went back to turtlenecks? So they devised a plan. Soon, the prestigious American Academy of Apparel authoritatively declared that turtlenecks were a relic of the past, and that all educated, forward-thinking people should avoid them at all costs.

This is why this week, turtleneck-lovers are uniting to call the American Academy of Apparel on their greedy and unethical behavior.  

Today, the American Academy of Pediatrics released a statement supporting the routine circumcision of infant males. This flies in the face of ALL competent medical research in the area. No other medical organization in any country recommends routine circumcision. The AAP is motivated by their pocketbooks, not their ethics. (Frankly, the fact that they would make such a statement leaves me with the conclusion that I dare not trust their advice in any area.)

Dr. Bob Block, the current president of the AAP, proudly proclaims “AAP ROCKS” on his open hands in his profile picture on Twitter. In response,  human rights advocates everywhere are protesting him and the AAP by writing our thoughts on our hands and sharing them across the internet (as well writing numerous letters and emails of course). We are "washing our hands of the AAP," and showing the world exactly what we think of the American Academy of Pediatrics and their infant circumcision policy.

Thoughts on Patriotism

(I'll warn you upfront that this post carries a tone of frustration and annoyance at the narrow definition of 'patriotism' that I often encounter.)

I like to be patriotic. I think our national holiday is a good time to think about what patriotism is and how we can be patriotic. I do NOT think that the military is the be all and end all of patriotism.
There you have it. I'm sick and tired of people saying "well I wanted to serve my country so I enlisted..." By all means, support the troops. If you'd like to enlist, feel free! But if you'd like to serve your country, please remember that you can do it in many other ways too. My husband wanted to serve his country, so he became a school teacher. My friend wanted to serve, so she works for a local women's shelter. I care about my country, so I teach my children to take care of the earth we live on and to serve the people we live around. I care about my country, so I get involved with politics, and I always vote.
As I said, I support the troops--the men and women who get out and do things. I really don't support the military-industrial complex that the USA has developed. I'm a pacifist, conscientious objector, and so on.  A friend of mine (who served in the military for several years by the way) has some very similar opinions about this. She wrote a great post here.

There's another thing that really makes me sick, and I hear it every Independence Day too: We live in a great country ("the promised land" yadda yadda yadda), and in fact it is the best country on earth. No it's not folks. We live in a great country, definitely. We in the United States have a lot of blessings and opportunities that are not available elsewhere. We have a lot of wealth (a ridiculous amount in fact). But we are not superior to other countries or peoples. More blessed (in certain areas), sure, but not superior.
Can we please learn to appreciate what we have without knocking down others in the process? Julie can be pretty without saying that Susie is ugly, you know?

That's all. Be grateful and happy with what you have. Work to take care of it and of the people around you. Remember that no one is inherently superior to anyone else, especially not because of being born between some transient manmade borders.

Food Hypocrisy

[warning, this post is mostly a rant...]

I know a lot of people who follow a particular diet, whether it's eating vegetarian, vegan, raw, organic, local, or dairy/nut/gluten/wheat-free.
I will state off the top that I do see allergies as somewhat of an exception--nobody asks to have a food allergy, and as I'm muddling into the middle of it myself I certainly feel the pain of thinking "but if I can't have ___, then what CAN I have?!" and it is overwhelming. However, this post is more about people who are choosing a particular dietary style based on morals or ideals, not on allergies.

My husband (before he was my husband obviously) took a girl out to dinner once. She told him that she was vegetarian, and he said ok, well, where would you like to go? He proposed an Indian restaurant, or a Thai restaurant, knowing that both of those places would have some great vegetarian dishes. She declined. He thought perhaps that was a little to exotic for her so asked about Chinese, but she said no. Where did she want to go? A soup and salad place...and once there, her dinner consisted of iceburg lettuce with a couple of carrots and tomatoes. She said that's what she usually ate.
I will bet you anything that her vegetarianism was short-lived, because you cannot survive on iceburg lettuce, and this girl wasn't willing to branch out and explore what vegetarianism had to offer.
In the grocery stores in November I always see something frightening: tofurky. Really? Turkey flavored tofu? Does anyone else think that sounds just gross? If you want to eat turkey, then do so. If you want to be vegetarian, then make a Thanksgiving meal centered on baked potatoes, or an amazing 'stuffing' casserole, or something like that.
If you like hamburgers, then eat them. If you are concerned about the treatment of the animals, then try eating local, grass-fed beef, or humanely-shot wild moose or elk burger. If you are morally opposed to meat, then feel free to grill up a portabella mushroom cap, or make rice & bean patties (which are good, but nothing like meat). But the 'veggie burgers' that are supposed to taste and feel like meat? Oh give me a break! They are full of fillers for one thing--they may be vegetarian, but I don't for a second believe that they are healthy...and if you're just eating substitute meats, then how committed are you to a meatless life? In my humble opinion, eating meat substitutes is still supporting a culture of meat-eating, even if you're not consuming it yourself, and if you don't believe in that...

The second part of my rant is this: if you DO eat meat, then you should be willing to participate in the whole process. I remember a college roommate who wouldn't touch raw chicken--it was too slimy and gross she said. But she liked to eat chicken. After the second time that she refused to help with that part of the meal preparation I told her that she had better give up chicken or else come help, because she was being a hypocrite and I wasn't going to enable her. (Yeah, I'm blunt like that ☺) From then on she helped...squeamishly, sure, but she helped.
Last weekend my husband went fishing and brought home a bunch of wild silver salmon. Salmon isn't my favorite fish, but they are plentiful here and very healthy, and you can't beat the price (or the feeling of fulfillment of literally providing food for your family with your bare hands). So he brought home fish...which then needed to be gutted and filleted. Do I enjoy gutting fish? Oh my no. But if I am going to eat the fish then I'd better be willing to start with an actual flopping fish, bash it's head myself, and so on. Yes, I have to touch it. Yes, I am taking a life. But I eat meat--that inherently means something died for me. So I participate in the whole process, doing my best to waste nothing (the heads and bones and other parts we don't eat get tossed back into the sea, where they will be put to good use).

The honest truth is that I don't really care what diet you have concluded is best for you and your family--be it vegetarian, vegan, raw, traditional foodism, or whatever else. I think that different families in different places have different needs. BUT, whatever it is that you decide you believe in, do it all the way, ok? Don't cheat on yourself. You're better than that. ☺

~~~~~~~

One of my food idols blogs here, and she not only has lots of appetizing photos and amazing recipes (mostly vegetarian + lots of gluten-free), she also blogs about her reasons for her dietary choices, her perception of 'real food,' and her active participation in the process. Go on over to her sites, be inspired. ☺

Dear Mrs Hatfield...

...this is Mrs McCoy calling. I have said this already in private, but since I know that we have many mutual friends, and also that those friends are aware of the recent situation between us, I wanted to say it in public (in front of all them) too. I don't know if you will read this, but I wanted to say it anyway. I'm sorry for the misunderstandings. I'm sorry for the frustrations. I never wanted our business contract to damage our friendship and I'm sorry that it did.


It's an awkward thing, doing business with friends. Everybody has misunderstandings sometimes, but when money gets involved somehow it becomes more personal...harder to brush off or to forgive. I've carried out dozens of business transactions with friends and rarely had a problem, but perhaps it is inevitable that problems should arise now and then.
I've always tried to be honest and forthcoming, and while that usually serves me well I guess sometimes we make the mistake of assuming that something was understood when it wasn't...or we think we've discussed something but the other person didn't realize what we meant by it.
In my business dealings I've always tried to be fair--more than fair even (I'm notoriously self-deprecating), and I confess I take it a little personally when someone feels that I've been unfair to them. In these cases there is usually fault with both parties, and while I try to take responsibility (and apologize) for my part of it, I have to be fair to myself too and realize that sometimes it's not all me, and I can't fix everything, nor can I please all of the people all of the time.
It's unfortunate (in my opinion) that a business deal gone sour can turn the people sour too, but sometimes it does. It is hard to do business with friends, no question, because of the multi-faceted (and therefore complicated) nature that develops in the relationship. It can be hard to be roommates with a friend; it can be hard to go into business with a friend; it can be problematic to co-sign on a loan with a friend or family member... and while there are any number of reasons as to why, I think that it comes back to one main thing: friendships are built on feelings, intentions, and effort; business is built on facts, results, and cold hard cash. In some cases they work together harmoniously, and in some cases they do not. I'm sorry to have had to be part of one of the latter, but am thankful for my many experiences with the former.


(As a note to those parties who are the aforementioned mutual friends...I know you know more about the specific situation, but it's really between the Hs and us, so I don't want to talk about it. Therefore I won't be publishing any comments with any specifics about the people or situations involved. I just wanted to make a public apology and spend a few minutes musing over the topic in general.)

Musings on Perfume

Long ago, before much of anyone bothered with things like bathing or changing their clothing, everybody stank a bit. It was just one of the facts of life. At some point the rich people began using strongly scented oils to cover up their own odor...wearing perfume developed into a status symbol (because of course the poor had neither the time nor money for such things).

In modern times we have running water, and (at least in most places) bathing is readily accessible. We can all be nice and clean and un-stinky all the time. In other words, the time for perfuming oneself is past!
And yet, instead of laying off, we have taken it to the next level. Now, along with the perfume, we have scented shampoos, soaps, deodorant, hair products, lotions...oh yes, and the perfume. Even our laundry detergent and fabric softener are scented (probably with two different scents) so even our clothing has its own smell. The average person walking past me on the street is a veritable battlefield of conflicting odors. Sure, each may smell nice on its own, but does anyone really think that they all smell good together? And does anyone bother to coordinate? (The only people I know who pay any real attention to this are the ones who are allergic to the perfumes, and stick to unscented everything...or the occasional anosmiac who sticks to unscented for practical reasons!)

The truth is that a lot of people ARE sensitive to perfumes (whether it's an actual allergy or just a sensitivity). It is the height of rudeness to wear perfume of any kind or in any amount if you will be in close quarters with other people (in a vehicle, in a theater, frankly even at church). I can't tell you how many times I have sat next to someone and then realized I needed to move on because if I stayed next to them I was going to get a headache. (I don't mean to be rude madam, but I must get away from your smell as I am about to be sick!)

I hate magazines that have perfume samples in them. One sample might not be too bad, but when there are 3 or 4 and they all mix up.... it gives me a terrible headache. I am not allergic to perfume, but good grief, do people really think that some of these smell good?! There are people paying to smell like this? Really?!
Wow.
And as I said before, multiple synthetic scents all mixed up...it's just not a good thing.

Smells, even a multitude of smells, can be a wonderful thing (walking through a flower garden comes to mind, or the wafting odors of dinner being prepared...) but synthetic scents are a whole other ballgame. And it's a bad ballgame.

What happened to the idea that "smelling clean" meant that the person/clothing didn't smell like anything at all?! Really, those were the days!

Equasions of Travel

Exhibit A:
Mt Redoubt (near Anchorage, but over 800 miles from me) decides to blow some ash around this week.

Exhibit B:
The route which was (for some reason) on Hubby's itinerary for coming home from his 12-day European trip with his students. (They begin in Rome [A] and then fly to Atlanta [B] and then Salt Lake City [C]...so far so good...but then the route sends them 800 miles out of their way to Anchorage [D] before bringing them back down to Juneau [E].)

If A, then C
C = the Anchorage airport being closed
C + B = why Hubby got stuck in Salt Lake on Saturday night, and why he did not get home to me on Sunday morning as planned
C = why every flight to Juneau is booked for the next four days, and why Hubby is still stuck in Salt Lake City.
#$^&*(&^%$#$R%^$ = My thoughts about the fact that, even though he left on March 17, I still don't get to see my husband until April 2nd (at best) and maybe April 3rd (depending on when they can catch the seaplane).

*deep breaths*

The only silver lining of which I am aware is that while down there Hubby will (hopefully) be able to pick up my maternity clothing, which will mean that my mother-in-law won't have to go spelunking through our stuff to get them out and mail them up to me. I tried to pack them on top, but another row of boxes ended up in front of them, and I hate to ask her to dig them out if I don't have to.

The Importance of Feet

The other night Hubby and I were talking, and the subject turned to a particular relative of ours whom I'll call Marge (because that is not her name). ☺ She's the spouse of one of his cousins, so we don't see her terribly often, but sometimes at extended family gatherings she's there. She has a daughter near Wolf's age, and a son just a couple of months older than Bear, and she seems to have concluded that she and I clearly have a lot in common.
The first time I met her was right before Bear was born, (when she had a newborn), she was asking me how the pregnancy was going, and I said it was great--because it was. She told me about she hated being pregnant but it was nice to have the kids, although she was definitely done because three was her MAX (here was me who had been praying to be able to have a baby at all but hey, she didn't know that), and then she concluded "I have just one thing to say about birth: drugs drugs DRUGS!"
Um, I don't feel that way. ☺
But it was one of those casual social situations and she was getting ready to go so I said nothing.
A few months later she was again present at the gathering when we announced that we were looking at taking a job in rural Alaska. She rolled her eyes at Hubby and then turned to me and said "you're ok with that? If my husband took a job like that he would be going alone!" Her tone left no doubt about the finality of her feeling.
This summer we saw her again. She asked how my etsy shop was going, and announced that she had a fabulous idea for a product I could sell "they're super easy to make and sell for, like, $20!" Suffice it to say that the item she described was something I can only define as 'froo-froo,' something I do not have (or want) the supplies for, something I would never use myself, and good grief why would I put it in my store, you know? Again, I smiled and nodded and said well, that's not really my thing and went to find someone else to talk to.
She-who-is-not-really-named-Marge is a very nice woman, but she just makes me a little crazy, you know? So it was this craziness that Hubby and I were discussing...
I said "I really have nothing in common with her," to which Hubby replied "sure you do, you both have feet."
Clearly, this is an important point upon which to base a friendship.

Inside My Weird Little Mind

What's the first thing you check on the computer after you turn it on?
I open several windows at once: usually blogger, email, and the NaturalLDSLiving forums. Sometimes etsy too, especially if I'm in the middle of a custom order or something like that. It's very rare for me to only have one window open at a time.

What are 3 of your pet peeves?
*Rude smokers
*People who complain a lot, or who ask for advice but then refuse to follow it
*Calling the facilities "the bathroom." Really, I'm not going in there to take a bath and we all know it! In Canada they call it a "washroom." I guess that's a step up, because I will be washing in there...but first I'm going to relieve myself. I appreciate that calling it "the pooroom" feels rude, even if it's accurate, but surely there must be a better option than BATHroom?! The British sensibly call it a "Loo" and I'm partial to that term myself--it's short and simple without any hoity toity pretences. In France and most of the rest of Europe they just face facts and call it "The Toilet." (Hey Kate or Lynnette, what do they call it Down Under?)

What's your favorite thing to splurge on?
Define 'splurge.' In college it was buying myself a $2 bottle of nail polish. Until we moved out here it was getting a (virgin) daquari and dessert when we went out to dinner. Right now it's probably making (and eating) far too many of my favorite brownies. There's not much to buy here!

What's your least favorite chore?
Oh man, that's so easy: cleaning the toilet. I HATE cleaning the toilet. Is there anyone who doesn't hate cleaning the toilet?! I also dispise dusting. I get tired of doing dishes and sometimes of doing laundry, but I don't hate them the way I do dusting and toilets.
I'm surprised you didn't ask my favorite chore! That's at least as interesting! I love sweeping! I like it because I can see the pile of dirt (and dog hair) and I can see that I'm accomplishing something. I also may or may not have been known to enjoy certain mending projects...

Own up to it!

If you want to leave a comment, be willing to say who you are, ok?
I am no longer going to publish anonymous comments. I think it's annoying and rude to leave a comment without even being willing to say who you are.

Junk Mail

Yesterday we got home from six weeks on the road; last night I tackled the pile of mail. Oh boy. I always knew junk mail was annoying, but let me tell you, six weeks worth of it is a great indicator of just how MUCH junk gets mailed to me.
Here's the thing: much of it isn't default 'junk' (you know, advertising and that sort of thing), but it is stuff that I don't need mailed to me, and I think at least one or two trees died needlessly for me to get all this paper in my box.
I don't need catalogs sent to me--everybody has an online catalog, and since I'll almost certainly order there (if I order), I might as well browse there too. On the other hand, just because I once ordered something from a company does not mean that I want to continue receiving their catalog for the rest of eternity.
I don't need coupons sent to me. Just put stuff on sale (or don't) but what is it with this whole stupid coupon thing. If we could eradicate the world of coupons I think we'd all be a little happier...the people and the trees (and the landfills!)
I don't need paper bills sent to me--I pay online (don't need return slips) and I check balances online as well, so there again, no need for paper.
I don't need bank statements sent to me--the internet is marvelous.
I don't need checks--please send me money, but direct deposit saves time, trouble, effort, and, oh yes, does a little bit to save the world.

So, today's STW tip is to make an effort to reduce the paper in your life! Sign up for paperless billing wherever possible. Get yourself on the 'no contact' or 'opt-out' lists so that you won't get all the pre-approved offers for credit cards and car insurance. Contact the companies who are sending you catalogs you don't want and get OFF their mailing lists rather than on them. Sign this petition to support creation of a 'do not mail' service in the USA (much like the 'do not call' one we already have).
Pay your bills online. Use a debit card instead of a check. Send emails--not lame forwards (and trust me, forwards are always lame)--but send real letters, personal missives, via email. Or just call people! Make your life a little more about people, and a little less about paper and stuff. (Eww, stuff!)

Intervening With Nature and Bringing Down Women

I am a woman. Yup, female. When one is female, there are certain things that go along with the territory...cycles of hormones: menstruation, pregnancy, childbirth, lactation...

Frankly I am insulted and offended by the way our modern culture tries to squelch these natural parts of femininity.

For starters, they tell us that having a period is dirty. It should be hidden, covered with perfumes and flushed or thrown away. Furthermore, a menstruating woman should behave exactly the same on those days as she does on any other day of the month--never mind that her body is letting go of blood, iron, and energy. What?! What idiot came up with these ideas?! It was either a man or a woman who wanted to be a man. A period is a symbol of fertility, not weakness! It should be observed, not ignored. No, I don't save my menstrual blood and use it to water my houseplants (although I hear that such plants thrive). On the other hand, I don't try to pretend that it doesn't exist. On the first day of my period I take a day off--I don't worry about trying to get much done. I make a simple dinner (often one I've frozen ahead of time). I accept that my body is taking a day off. It's all part of the cycle.

We have pills and drugs to counteract PMS. PreMenstrual Syndrome is partly caused by hormones, but actually mostly because of poor nutrition and lousy self-care. Take a nap, drink more water, lay off the sugar, avoid caffeine, and consider taking a little red raspberry leaf. You will most likely find that PMS is not inevitable, but is actually like most other pains--a sign that something is wrong!

Pregnancy is part of being a woman. If you are not willing to be pregnant, do not participate in pregnancy-causing activities. I feel very strongly about that. I am generally disgusted with birth control hormones and the havoc they wreck on women's bodies. Hormones fluctuate in a delicate balance, and 'the pill' (any of them) interferes with that. Most pills advertise shorter, lighter periods (I can tell you a safer way to get that!). One pill claims to 'beat' PMS with a commercial singing "We're not gonna take it" (take what, healthy fertility?!) One pill boasts of interfering so much that a period only comes every third month. Does that scare anyone else?!

Once pregnant, many women grieve their condition. Even if they are excited about having a baby join the family, they complain about the process. I've been pregnant: I know about the morning sickness, aches, pains, and exhaustion. It's part of the package deal. They schedule inductions and plan cesarean sections for the convenience of predictability, rather than out of any medical need. Even those who wait for nature's timing for labor are likely to demand medications which will numb their bodies and interfere with the natural process (and likely lead to other interventions). Giving birth is a rite of passage! I don't enjoy pain, and I'm certainly no martyr. I did not choose unmedicated birth out of machismo or a desire to boast to my children about how hard I worked to get them here. I chose it because it is how birth is meant to be. It is how our bodies are meant to work. It is what our Creator intended. And yes it is HARD work, but it is not bad. Sure, sometimes something goes amiss, and in those cases inductions, epidurals, and cesareans can work wonders...but they should not be routine. Intervening with nature should never be routine.

And when we do give birth to that tiny, helpless, baby, our amazing bodies know just what to do: they make nourishment for it. First colostrum, then milk. Milk which changes as the baby ages. Milk which has a high fat content and helps to mylenize the baby's rapidly developing brain cells. Milk which contains stem cells. How amazing and perfect is this?! And yet many women choose to take drugs to dry up their supply, or else wean the child long before he is ready. Instead they offer the child milk from another mammal--one whose genetic makeup (and milk) is very dissimilar to our own. Are we mad?! Where is the logic in this?

Why do women think they should be men? No periods. No hormones. No pregnancies. No labor. No baby at the breast... Is androgeny really so desirable? Throughout history men have always found a particular body shape more attractive than any other: a sort of an hourglass shape...a shape which indicates fertility. In other words, the most attractive woman is one who is not afraid of her body and what it can do.
Stand up! Don't be ashamed of your body and its processes. Be aware, and be proud! You are a Phenomenal Woman!

On Fire

You know what really really bugs me? Offends me to my very core?
Rude Smokers.
Do people have a right to smoke? Sure. I think it's gross but if they want to do it, the law says they can, so ok, go ahead.
BUT, the law also says you're not supposed to do it in public buildings, nor in the doorways of such... In other words, when I walk to the store, and hang my raincoat on the outside hook before going in (as per the request on the sign), then I should be able to come back outside and put my coat on again without having to be subject to a cloud of smoke. To say nothing of the smoke of THREE people like happened to me last week.
I am offended by the people who choose to smoke in doorways like that. It is against the law in a lot of places--it may not be here in Alaska, I'm not sure, but it is rude regardless.
And if you don't mind forcing your secondhand smoke on me, can you at least respect my baby and not force it on him?!
Seriously, do what you want to yourself, but don't touch my kid. One of these days I'll go all 'mama bear' and smack you.

My 7yo son always coughs loudly and says things like "He's smoking mom, that's bad for you," or "smoking is yukky" when we walk past a smoker. I never shush him. I don't often have the guts to speak up about it, but I should, and I'm glad that he does!

Just Be Nice Already

This may turn into a series...things that bug me...
but life is just too short to be nasty to folks all the time.

I recently met someone whom my husband had discribed as 'crusty.' When I actually met this person, I realized that 'crusty' didn't even begin to discribe it. This person was rude, vulgar, and just plain mean--to everyone. Family members, utter strangers, it didn't matter--this person was terrible.
I typically try to be polite and civil to everyone, although I fall into curt with those who are rude. But with this person, I was about ready to start shouting...I don't think I've ever been so glad to see someone walk away.

Really now, I understand that everyone has days when they feel down, or something upsetting is going on in their life, or they're hurting... Sometimes events or other people are making life difficult. I appreciate that we all have moments or days when we're not the sweetest of company...but to be that way all the time? That's just pathetic.
Grow up! Realize that life is only 10% what happens to you, and is 90% what you do with it! Take responsiblity for your choices, behaviors, and mood. Being crusty and crabby all the time is immature and unacceptable. Furthermore, being cranky doesn't even bring any satisfaction to the crankpot--but being happy does.
So be happy! You might live longer...and even if you don't, you'll certainly live better!