Thursday, February 14, 2008

On True Love

For some reason February 14th has been dubbed the day of love. Why this, over other days? I know, there was some guy a long time ago, and this is his birthday, or something... Honestly I think the whole concept of the day is skewed. We get all wrapped up in one day of gifts and treats and special favors, and somehow that is supposed to compensate for another 364 days of negligence. Flowers and dinners and chocolates and lingerie on February 14th mean nothing unless there is true love on the other days as well.

And what is true love?

It's not giving candy or balloons or flowers, although those things can be nice expressions of it.
It's not laying your coat in a puddle for her to walk on (does this really produce anything more than a wet coat?!)
It's not making wild declarations or performing daring deeds.
It's not kisses or hugs or long moonlit walks.


What is true love?
It is when Hubby took an hour every night with the colicy baby, singing Beatles and James Taylor songs to him, so that I could take a shower or even sleep for a few minutes.

It is when my 7 year old asked me to teach him how to wash dishes, because he wanted to help more around the house.

It is when my Hubby can look down at the mess where our baby was just born, and then look back up at my sweaty face and wild hair and say "I love you. You're beautiful."

It is pumping and freezing your breastmilk to share with mothers who don't have enough.

It is getting your wife the unscented lotion, not because you're not sure what scent to get, but because you know that perfumes make her queasy.

It is making your son's favorite cookies for him, even though you think they're gross.

It is being a doggie, and letting the baby climb on your back and sit on your head, because you know he's still learning to be gentle.

It is when my baby takes a break from running around the house to lay his head in my lap.

It is hearing the plaintive word "Nurn?" for the forty-third time today, and still smiling as your toddler climbs into your lap to nurse for six more seconds.

It is spending your whole day off helping someone move.

It is teaching someone a skill.

It is giving up the easy life for the good life as you welcome a child to the family. It is giving up the simple life for the concerned one when you send them out the door.

It is giving up Your Only Begotton Son to save the world.


Our children will view the world through the glasses we give them: what perception of love am I teaching my children?
As a culture, we have developed the idea that 'true love' is a romantic thing. Something that develops between couples. We are wrong. The truest kind of love is the kind that goes far beyond romantic, couples, or red hearts with lace. It is the love that gives.



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I would love to hear your thoughts on true love. I was inspired to do this in the first place by a series of "true love" posts that Nessa was doing (hopefully she doesn't mind my putting them here!) Please leave your link!

2 comments:

Mae said...

I agree about the entire year thing. This past 12 months I've really been turned off by the commercilization of holidays. Christmas decorations were up before Halloween this year! And when I walked into WalMart last month and saw the tower of Valentines (useless) stuffed animals I wanted to vomit. I even had coworkers asking me what I got for Christmas! Are we in kindergarten still?! I told them I had a wonderful Christmas because I got to visit with my whole family.

It hurts me to see stores pushing holidays to sell useless junk and that people either feel guilted into buying it. Or they actually think that stupid pink bear that says "I love you Beary Much" shows affection somehow. To quote my favorite band, Queen: "Is this the world we created? What did we do it for?"

I think I am more touched when my 4 year old nephew randomly says, "Aunty, thanks for cuddling with me" than the expected dozen roses on February 14th. Now, a dozen roses (or any flowers) on an unexpected day would please me because I love flowers...and just because he thought of me.

Brightonwoman said...

So, I realized that my list of what is 'true love' is, is more indicative of MY love language than anything else...everything on the list is an act of service!
LOL!

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