Tuesday, July 10, 2007

You Know You're A Breastfeeding Mom If...

I collected this list from MDC and thought I would share, as it has had me in stitches over and over again...

* you hear the doorbell and look down to make sure you're not hanging out.
* you hear the doorbell and forget to look down and make sure that you're not hanging out (and end up giving the UPS man the surprise of his life).
* you buy clothing based on how well you can nurse in it.
* you feel the almost irresistable urge to nurse other people's crying (or formula fed) babies.
* you think nothing of grabbing and groping yourself in public to figure out which side to nurse on first.
* you wake up with a breast hanging out of your nighty, but can't remember taking it out.
* you are really good at one-handed typing because you are always NAK (nursing at keyboard).
* you blame your typos on NAK.
* your children--female AND MALE nurse their baby dolls.
* your three year old picks up a bottle at playgroup and says "what's this?"
* your five year old loves the new kitten so much she nurses it.
* you don't bother latching up your bra (or wearing a shirt) because you know you'll be nursing again in a few minutes.
* you wake up with hickies on your breast because the baby tried to latch on himself and it took a few tries to find the right spot.
* when your six year old (loudly) announces to a stranger in the store that they need to nurse their crying baby.
* when you nurse while walking around shopping...
* even without a sling!
* you are starving all the time.
* your husband has to cut up your meat for you because you're always eating one-handed (because the baby likes to eat when you do).
* you're not lactating, but still want to nurse sad babies (or grandbabies).
* you squirt things (or people) with your milk. On purpose.
* you take family pictures and don't realize that you have a breast hanging out.
* you have breast pads laying all over the house.

* you get out of the shower and are drying your legs and your toddler runs in and latches on...
* when your toddler sees you changing clothes and always want to nurse (because of the sight of the almighty milky maker!)
* you are in a public place and your toddler announces (loudly) "I want booby" or something of that nature...
* your toddler points to the bras in the store and exclaims "milk! milk!"
* your toddler points to busty women and yells "milk!"

* you feel sorry for women who feel like they have to hide under huge blankets or covers when nursing in public.
* you feel sorry for bottle-fed babies.
* you know your wife's nursing bra size.
* you know how to disassemble, clean, and reassemble your wife's nursing pump.
* the baby cries so you bring it to your wife to nurse.


Heidi said...

those are fantastic!!! LOL

Anonymous said...

"* you feel sorry for bottle-fed babies."

Most of them are funny, I saw them on MDC. But this one disparages all bottle-fed babies and there are legitimate reasons why some mom's have to bottle feed.

brightonwoman said...

I know that there are some (rare) cases where a baby must be bottle fed. That doesn't change the fact that I do feel sorry for those babies. That is why I pump almost daily to donate my milk to one such baby.

Anonymous said...

"* you're not lactating, but still want to nurse sad babies (or grandbabies)"
My mother (MY MOTHER) has wondered if she should nurse my baby just to keep them happy for a bit.

Heather Louise said...

My guy always wanted to latch on during diaper changes. I have to remember to put a shirt on to change his diaper ( becAUSE I usually am topless). And I did want to.nurse my friend's newborn lately. She is adopted, so gets bottles. But it was weird, I still wanted to try it. Of course, I didn't say anything. But I'm due in October with #2 so might be tandem nursing soon! My son is going to be a year old soon.

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