At one point my dad left a message like this on our machine:
"Hello, if it's Sunday, we're at church. If it's Monday, we're having family night. If it's Tuesday or Thursday we have soccer. Wednesday is scouts. Friday is date night--you wouldn't possibly call then would you? Saturday we work in the yard. So that's why we didn't answer the phone, and why we may not be able to find time to call you back...but if you want to leave a message then go ahead and we'll probably listen to it."
Here was my favorite one he ever did (on our machine, if someone pressed a button it would just skip the rest of the outgoing message and go straight to the beep):
"If you'd like to leave a message for [dad], press one.
If you'd like to leave a message for [mom], press two.
If you'd like to leave a message for the kids, press three.
If you have a dog, press four.
If you have a rotary phone, press five.
If you'd like to press six, press seven.
So, how about you? What are some of the funnier messages you've heard? (or, alternatively, some really amusing phone conversations you've had?) Or even if you just really hate the phone. whatever, I just need some good laughs this week. ☺