Monday, October 27, 2008

Fun Times on the Phone

At one point my dad left a message like this on our machine:
"Hello, if it's Sunday, we're at church. If it's Monday, we're having family night. If it's Tuesday or Thursday we have soccer. Wednesday is scouts. Friday is date night--you wouldn't possibly call then would you? Saturday we work in the yard. So that's why we didn't answer the phone, and why we may not be able to find time to call you back...but if you want to leave a message then go ahead and we'll probably listen to it."

Here was my favorite one he ever did (on our machine, if someone pressed a button it would just skip the rest of the outgoing message and go straight to the beep):
"If you'd like to leave a message for [dad], press one.
If you'd like to leave a message for [mom], press two.
If you'd like to leave a message for the kids, press three.
If you have a dog, press four.
If you have a rotary phone, press five.
If you'd like to press six, press seven.
Thank you."

So, how about you? What are some of the funnier messages you've heard? (or, alternatively, some really amusing phone conversations you've had?) Or even if you just really hate the phone. whatever, I just need some good laughs this week. ☺


Emily said...

Oops, I left a link for no apparent reason LOL. Well, I guess I don't mind generating a little traffic.

I don't mind using the phone. What absolutely irritates me beyond anything else is people who do not answer their phone, then subsequently do not return their messages (like the blogger in your second link.) It's a complete waste of everybody's time. I refuse to call people who won't answer their phone. I feel disrespected if I've been relegated to the screened masses.

Also, I hate leaving messages. I feel like such a dweeb. I only leave messages if a) it's a business call, or b) it's a person I know won't answer their phone, but I must let them know somehow that I did my social duty in calling them.

Cathryn said...

In college there was an apartment of girls who's message started with the song, "If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life, never make a pretty woman your wife, so from my personal point of view, get an ugly girl to marry you." and then it was followed by one of them said, "You've reached an apartment with 4 UGLY girls . . . " I can't remember what else, but I loved that.

I don't mind talking on the phone to friends, but I hate talking for business stuff, even things like turning on utilities. Also not a fan of making calls to people I don't know really want me to call them, but I need to for some reason.

And I'm one of those people who feels no obligation whatsoever to run bumbling to the phone every time it rings. I never was like this growing up, and neither is any of my family of origin, but I somehow have gotten to the point that I just don't mind letting the answering maching get it. I don't think just because someone decided they were ready to talk to me at that moment, I have to hurry and get ready to talk to them, even if it means interrupting story time, or rearranging a just-got-settled-nursing baby, book, and toddler . . . or whatever.

Not that I make it a point not to answer my phone--I usually do. And it's nothing personal--there are people who call me that I really look forward to talking to. But a ringing phone is just a ringing phone to me, and sometimes it's too much of a distraction/disturbance to bother about. If they need to talk to me, they can leave a message or call me back later. And so frequently it's a business-type call that can tell me everything I need to know in an answering machine, which I can check when I have time and pen and paper ready, or it's a survey/sales type call, which I just don't have time for at all.

I guess I just want to have more say over when I do things, rather than letting all our modern "conveniences" run my life. In the old days, I'm sure people didn't feel the pressure to write a response the moment they got a letter out of the mailbox. I guess that's why I prefer email--it's the perfect mix: instant, but also something I can get to at my own time.

Haha, sorry for taking over your blog. Maybe I should try posting on my blog once in awhile.. I obviously have a lot to say ;)

The Thalman's said...

My old message on my cell phone said, "You have been redirected to the voicemail message system for the Supreme Commander of the Universe, [My first and last name]. The commander is a busy woman, if you leave your name, number and a message concerning your call, she will try to attend to your needs when she has the time. If you are calling to complain about the Universal Governmant, please hang up now, and don't call back"
I have also had my message say this little rhyme, "The connection was made, the phone DID ring. But I'm busy doing some other thing. So leave a message, and we'll see, if you ever hear back from me!"
I love funny messages!

Sanity said...

My current voicemail message (because I don't have a house phone, only a cell) says "You've reached the number you dialed" completely tells the person who calls absolutely NOTHING about who they've called. ANd the ones who know me, leave a message. the ones who don't, or don't have anything important to say, dont

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