Sunday, March 14, 2010

Find nobility in motherhood and joy in womanhood

Anyone who has been reading my blog for long knows that this is a topic that is near and dear to me, with posts like The Feelin Feminine Challenge, Interfering with Nature and Bringing Down Women, or Why Birth Matters. I find it sad when women try to be men (or even to be androgynous), or when they despise their womanhood rather than rejoicing in it. Sure, hormones have their ups and downs, but in the long run womanhood is something unique and amazing. Motherhood has its (literal) pains as well, but it also can bring more joys and pleasures than a childless life. I have never looked at motherhood as something I was stuck with—it is something I always wanted and now find very fulfilling. It is far more fulfilling than my formal education or work ever was (in spite of the fact that I very much enjoyed college and teaching). I believe the women are meant to be mothers—it is hardwired into us. In the beginning God asked Adam what he would name the woman, and he said “I will call her Eve, because she is the mother of all living.” Eve had not yet borne a child, but motherhood was part of who she was, and so it is part of every woman. Motherhood is an integral part of womanhood. I believe that this is why staunchly single women are adopting children, and why career women are now choosing to have babies in their 30s and 40s--they are realizing that they’ve missed something important in bypassing having a family, and they try to get it in before it’s too late. (I have reservations about single women adopting, because I believe that every child is entitled to be raised by a mother AND a father, but that is another post.)
Women are not men, nor should we try to be, or want to be. We are called ‘the fair sex’ and ‘the gentle sex’ and so let us live up to those titles. Modest femininity is far more attractive than flaunted sexuality. Gentleness and patience are Godlike virtues. Women have great influence on their husbands, and mothers have great influence on their children. Truly, it can be said that behind every great man is a great woman—and it is ok for us to stand behind our men. Our calling is to keep the home and to make it a haven from the world. Our calling is to raise our children and teach them to live moral lives. Our calling is to support and sustain our husband in his roles as provider, protector, and presiding head in the family.
I can hear the comments now “what about being an individual?” “doesn’t a woman lose her own identity when she becomes a wife or mother?” To this I respond that wifehood and motherhood define womanhood. A woman (or a man) is not able to reach her (his) full potential alone. She may be great, but she will not reach the extent of the divine possibilities of womanhood without incorporating these integral aspects of it. I appreciate that some women genuinely do not have the opportunity to marry or to raise children in this life, but our loving God has promised that each worthy person will have an opportunity to fulfill these roles in the next life if they have not done so here. I know that doesn’t make it feel much easier right now, nor is it permission to stop caring about or seeking these things in the present, but it is some comfort to know that good intentions ARE worth something, and that sooner or later good things are in store for all those who truly seek them.
I invite you to check out my series on motherhood:
Part 1-Why Motherhood Can’t Wait
Part 2-Mother at Home
Part 3-Quiverfull


nicole said...

I love this post! I wholeheartedly agree.

SisuGirl said...

As a single women who would someday love to find a partner, have love, raise a family and generally do everything that you have mentioned in your post, I was with you whole heartedly in this post until our division of faith stepped in.

I believe that should I never marry and raise a family, its His plan for me and that it will make me no less a woman in His eyes than you are. Both of us are living His plan for us and both are equally wonderful as they are both from Him. For me, there isnt "an opportunity to fulfill these roles in the next life if they have not done so here" because I believe, that when you died, you are sleeping until Christ comes again and then I will be raised to be among the multitude who will praise God and that after Judgement, the world will be a place of life, love and learning with God forever. One human life is enough, especially since, if it is a heavenly life, there is no way it will hold the learning curve that this one has and therefore would be totally different. There would be no reason to make a haven from the world, teach children morality or sustain another person in a place with no sin or death.

My intentions for my planned path, in my experience, has so very rarely been what God intended for me so right now, I have stopped actively seeking a suitable man who I would marry and raise children with. What I want for myself and what God plans...not always in concert...but I have learned that if I "Let Go and Let God", I am a much happier, peaceful person knowing that, for right now, He wants me to be single and still create a haven for community members to relieve their burdens, a teacher for young men and women of morality and the outside world and over all support person for many different peoples hopes, dreams, wishes and daily struggles. In no way is this greater than mother or wife hood, just different; just his plan for me right now. As always, good things from Him, though I may struggle with merging my vision of my planned path with His :)

I very much loved reading your series thus far on Motherhood and I hope very much that somewhere along His plan for me that this is title is intended for me too. Until then, I just remind myself of Jeremiah 29:11...and hope that I don't have to complete 70 years in this place first!! :)

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