Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Oh yeah, we had a homebirth...

A couple of people commented that they thought I was planning a birth center birth, not a homebirth. It's true, at the beginning of this pregnancy I did talk about a birth center as my ideal. At the time it was. However, when we finally found out which city we were moving to, I discovered that the nearest birth center was 80 miles away (remember midwife K who arrived 10 minutes after the birth? She was from the birth center...) I actually considered going there but was hesitant about the distance particularly because my due date was in the wintertime and, well, this is Alaska! So I opted out of the birth center, which left me with either home or the hospital.
I didn't think that Hubby would be comfortable with home (since he wasn't last time), but I had heard such good things about the midwife here that I decided to meet her anyway. I also visited the L&D area of the local hospital, and actually it was quite nice: more birth center-like than I would have expected of a hospital, even in a pretty naturally-minded area. However I still just felt really good about midwife A. So I prayed about it--I told God that I liked the midwife and was feeling drawn to homebirth, but that I needed His go-ahead that this was an appropriate and safe choice for this birth. After all, the vast majority of births are safe at home, but occasionally one isn't, so I figured it made sense to get an ok from Someone who would know.
I continued to feel very peaceful about birthing at home, and as I started trying to visualize labor and birthing I always pictured myself at home (in the dark...see, I did know something!)
When I felt like I knew what I wanted, I talked with Hubby...I told him that I really liked the midwife, and that I wanted her to attend me at home, but that I needed him to be part of the choice, and to be comfortable with what we chose to do. He said that he "would be more comfortable at the hospital," but that he was "ok with home." So I started planning for a homebirth.
We basically adopted a "don't ask don't tell" policy about the homebirth plan though--we answered honestly if someone asked us (only a few people did), but otherwise we didn't volunteer the information. The reason for this was that we knew that some of our family members would worry a great deal over our choice, and we didn't want them to worry (nor to have to listen to their worries). So we simply waited until after Eagle was born and then called them and said "he's here, by the way, he was born at home...yes on purpose..." In the meantime, since we weren't telling our family our plans, it didn't seem appropriate to be telling the rest of the world either. So we didn't.
I used the term "midwife" here on my blog, but I guessed (and rightly) that many people would assume I was seeing a CNM who would attend me in a hospital or birth center. My mother and sister (both homebirthers themselves) saw the term "midwife" and assumed I was planning a homebirth, but I don't think anyone else did. ☺

At my 3-day postpartum home visit, Midwife A asked Hubby if he'd liked homebirth better than the hospital.
He said "yes."

6 comments:

Mallory said...

Until I read the birth story, I thought that maybe you had the baby before you could get to the birth center. I was thinking you had an accidental unassisted! I was surprised to see that you had a midwife attended home birth, because I remembered that you were planning on a birth center. I am so glad that you and your husband (and probably the kiddos, too) enjoyed the home birth! Were the midwives CNMs or DEMs?

Mommy Bee said...

You know, I'm actually not sure Mallory! A (my primary midwife) is a DEM, but state licensed. Her husband is a naturopathic doctor (he used to attend homebirths here before she certified, and actually she was about ready to call him when we realized that K wasn't going to be able to make it!) I'm not sure if K is a CNM or DEM...she works at a birth center, so I suspect she's a CNM, but DEMs can get birth center rights here too, so I'm not sure. :)

sara said...

Did you mention it on the email list? How did I know you were planning a homebirth?

Nadia said...

I noticed that there are A LOT of ads on your blog. Do you make money off of this blog?

Mommy Bee said...

Sara--I don't think I ever came out and said I was planning a homebirth anywhere except on my MDC DDC and the nLDS forum. I don't think I said anything on the yahoo group, but I guess I may have. Or you may have been one of those who saw 'midwife' and presumed from there. ;)

Mommy Bee said...

Nadia,
I am actually still trying to adjust the ad thing...I did originally set up to have some ads with the thought that it might bring in a little money. Income isn't my reason for blogging, but since I am blogging anyway, and I get quite a few hits on the page, I thought I'd try the ad thing.
I only seem to make a dollar or two in a month, and while I don't mind having a few ads, I don't really like the way they are showing up right now...

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