Thursday, February 15, 2007

Why is "Modern Society" so backwards?!

It's strange how our western culture has complicated child raising...People have been having and raising babies for centuries, and it never used to be this complicated. In fact, bringing up babies was part of every day life. There was no need for birth control to try to time babies, because they were not a hassle...caring for babies was just another thing one did, like making dinner or sleeping at night.

First they decided we must put diapers on our children, thus causing the poo to get everywhere on the baby's bottom, and requiring lots of cleanup...if you hold the baby over a toilet (or some dirt) then one quick swipe with a cloth (if that) and they are clean and ready to go play again. Diaper rash was unknown before diapers.

Next they decided that babies must sleep in their own beds, maybe in their own rooms, and shouldn't drink their own mother's milk... I truly pity the mothers who try to do this! When my infant wakes up, I attach him to a nipple, and go back to sleep. Rarely does he keep me awake for more than a few minutes. I don't have to sit up very often, and I have never had to get out of bed for him, let alone go to other parts of the house.
During the day, when he is hungry, he opens his mouth wide, and I put milk in it...so simple. No hassle with bottles and heating and getting the proper temperature...he is quickly satisfied, and I have thing simple and easy.

Now they tell us to put our babies in little buckets (aka carseat carriers) and carry them around without touching them..this makes the babies sad and fussy, and said buckets are heavy and unweildy. It's so much easier to grab a wrap or sling and just wear the baby--he can sleep contentedly against my chest and I can get my work done.
Every time I wear my baby in public I get comments--they range from "oh, he looks so comfortable in there" to "I wish I'd had one for my baby" to "where can I get one?" I've never had a negative comment about my wrap. The other day someone said "I wish they'd had those when mine was a baby" (her child is 6). I smiled and said "native tribes have been wearing wraps for centuries, it's just that the rest of us took a while to catch on." I now think of myself as a walking billboard for babywearing--most folks know a good idea when they see one, they just need a chance to see it so that they can get on board! So, babywearers of the world, get out and get seen! Don't be shy about your slings and wraps--show them off! You're bound to influance someone for the better!

5 comments:

SoBeBabies.com, Inc said...

Amen, sistah!

Anonymous said...

okay, I have to tell you, I just talked to my sister yesterday and she was telling me about a meeting she had for church. The ladies got to chatting and were talking about who in the ward had their baby sleeping through the night at the youngest age. The mother that "won" starts at one month and puts the baby to bed and doesn't respond to cries or anything at all for the whole night! I couldn't believe it! Her baby is very, very small - as in she is not gaining weight well at all. It's her fourth baby and the first one she has breastfed. I thought it was great she decided to breastfeed...but she schedules feedings and obviously does no night feedings. Anyway, I keep thinking about it and want to go hug my baby because I feel so bad for hers! Just thought it fit with exactly what you were saying here. Why is getting a full nights sleep with no interruptions so important to the extent of ignoring your child at night at such a young age? It's so much easier to get up and take care of your baby. I love having TS right by me so I can respond to his needs. It's such a special time. They grow up so quickly too!

BTW, your baby is adorable! I love the professional pictures of him, as well as the cloth diaper picture;-)

teresa

Tracey said...

"... I truly pity the mothers who try to do this! When my infant wakes up, I attach him to a nipple, and go back to sleep. Rarely does he keep me awake for more than a few minutes. I don't have to sit up very often, and I have never had to get out of bed for him, let alone go to other parts of the house.
During the day, when he is hungry, he opens his mouth wide, and I put milk in it...so simple. No hassle with bottles and heating and getting the proper temperature...he is quickly satisfied, and I have thing simple and easy."

Nope, I am not sending you hate mail.. I have just checked out your blog for the very first time and was all excited at your enthusiasm for cloth diapering... I am a fellow cloth diaperer myself.

Then I got to this post and felt a little knife in my heart.

Some of us can't "attach him to a nipple" and go back to sleep. You probably hurt more people than you know by suggesting that modern advances in alternatives to breastmilk (formula) are what is 'wrong with society'. I think I know what you are getting at, but please bear in mind that most of us want to do what's right by our babies, and a lot of the time that involves heartwrenching decisions such as giving supplementation.

I don't love getting up and walking to the kitchen at 4 am, trying to get my eyes open wide enough to measure, mix, heat and test bottles of formula. But I do love my perfectly healthy baby, who is what she is as a result of my efforts.

You keep on rockin, breastfeeding mommy, but try to appreciate that while you have this blessing, some of us don't, and maybe don't need to be told we are inferior or have made poor choices.

Stop for a second and think of a baby you know who was given formula out of necessity. They wouldn't be here today if the world hadn't provided them with this option. Does that sound like a better world to you?

Oh, and I don't need your pity! My experiences as a formula giving mother are improving by the day, despite the judgments and condemnation by other mothers.

Tracey said...

So we both agree that bfing is a wonderful gift that a mother can choose to share with her child. And that formula is what some people have as a saving grace...

I just think the world is a hard enough place to raise a child without other mothers taking the time to go out of their way to publicly pass judgement on us. We should stick together and leave the JUDGING to higher powers (if you believe in that sort of thing)

Nope, I didn't CHOOSE formula, but if I did, that would be my choice to make and I am pretty sure it would still be in a very loving and supportive home for my child. I even know a few such mothers, and accept them in a 'to each their own' manner. I don't think it was selfishness or lack of caring that lead them down the paths they choose. It certainly is no crime.

I guess if I felt like it, I would just choose to write an opinionated blog about something that really matters, like say, domestic abuse, child neglect...

My mother didn't breastfeed. I think I'm one of the healthiest people I know! No allergies, no illnesses.. And I nearly went into ppd trying to bf my own baby... now the haze has lifted and i can see clearly that there are much much much more important things that she needs and that i give her everyday, like unconditional love and a safe and secure home.

Now I know you don't disagree with me on this. I just want to reiterate that I can tell you are a good person and an amazing mother, but that ranting about how inferior formula is might be hurting a lot of truly awesome women out there, and that there's hurt enough to go around already (mostly from us beating ourselves up when we fail)

Perhaps this blog and your strong feelings stem from a certain pride you take in what you've been able to accomplish and there's nothing wrong with that... you should be proud and grateful for what you've been blessed with.

Thanks for sending me the link to your other post. Those two women are lucky to have a supportive friend like you, and I hope they too have realized that they can be wonderful mothers in whatever way works for them, and that a birth is 'successful' if it ends with two healthy heartbeats. The rest, my friends, is ancient history by the time the first candle is lit on a first birthday cake...

Cheers.

Mallory said...

It is nice to know there are other women in the world who feel the same way that I do. I wish we were neighbors. (Maybe I should move to Alaska...it is beautiful!)

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