Monday, January 23, 2012

Romantical little things

I was chatting with a friend recently. She and her husband have been struggling a bit, and she was trying to find ways to draw closer together again. Life can get in the way for anyone, and I think we each have periods where we feel distance between our self and our spouse. So, with that in mind, here are a list of things I have done or seen to help make sparks when the embers are burning low.
  • Celebrate your "monthiversaries" every month. If you were married on the 8th, then every month on the 8th have a little celebration, whether it's a gift, getting flowers, going out to dinner, making a cake, or sending the kids to a babysitter's house so you can have a romantic evening together.
  • Create and share a "couple's journal"--a notebook with a question at the top of each page. Maybe put a fancy pen with it. Then take turns writing answers back and forth to each other in the book.
  • Buy a pad of post-it notes.  Write a note to your spouse on every single one, and leave them all over the house: in their sock drawer, on the steering wheel, in the glove compartment, in kitchen drawers and cupboards, in a briefcase or backpack, in the book they are reading, on the mirror, on the wall, on their pillow... The notes may be as short as "♥" or maybe fill it up with a tiny love letter. 
  • Write the alphabet down one side of the page, and for each letter, write a word or phrase that is a reason why you love your spouse. (This is also fun to do as a series of 26 notes or emails, one at a time, letter by letter...)
  • The same as the alphabet one, only with their name, or your names combined.
  • Tell your spouse a list of things you love about them (or ask them to tell you). Don't worry how big or small each thing is, just start talking, and keep going as long as you can think of things. Especially if you've been struggling, this might be hard at first, but just do it...the more you say, the more come to mind, and it gets easier as you list more things. ☺ (If you think this sounds goofy, just TRY IT, I promise, it's pretty awesome.)
  • Never underestimate the value of conversation. Pillow talk; discuss your dreams, concerns, and fears; talk about recent news topics, political issues, spiritual ideas, or philosophies; debate with each other; make plans; make dreams.
  • For those on tight budgets or with very small children, date nights may be rare or non-existent. Try some of these ideas.
What have you thought of or done? Please share!


Thomasin said...

I like your list! My husband used to email me every morning, to say he loved me. At first he used iCards but then (after using up all the 'romantic' templates) he started emailing me "non-iCards," were just little emails from him. One of my favorites is here with me at work (all the way from Sept 2008). Since he's been working at home (AK didn't work out for us) he hasn't had much time (he's with our girls), and I think you've inspired me to take the notes back up myself. He did it for so long for me, I should give back to him. After all, he's my love! :-)

Mallory said...

My husband and I do a couple's question journal whenever he has to go out of town for work. We each have a journal with a question each day apart. Then after he gets back, we have a date night and go over all the questions and answers.

Mae said...

Two of the biggest things my husband does that makes me melt all over again is being grateful and praising me. I married an amazing, mature man! Every time i cook something or clean something, he thanks me. When i haven't felt up to cleaning or cooking, he does it instead to thank me and give me a break "because you do so much for us". Nothing is too little to thank me for. It's amazing how great this makes me feel. It energizes me (and i struggle with energy levels due to anxiety & depression) and makes me want to do more for him, which in turn makes me feel better about myself because i'm actually accomplishing things.

Another of his amazing strengths is that we talk about everything. We always have from Day 1 so i feel comfortable and safe sharing if something is off or if i want something that feels silly. So telling each other all the big amd little ways we love each other and appreciate about each other comes easily. I think we tell each other a few things each day. It doesn't feel goofy at all. And we're always dumbfounded that someone we think it so great thinks we're so amazing too!

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