Friday, April 17, 2009

5 years ago

This year the dates of the year happen to fall on the same days of the week as they did five years ago in 2004. So April 7 was a Wednesday again, and Sunday, April 12, was Easter again.
I suppose for most people this is no big deal, but for me this Resurrection Day was a sharp reminder of the poignant Easter I had five years ago.
Five years ago, on Wednesday April 7, my first pregnancy ended in my first miscarriage. I held my first angel baby in my hand and mourned his departure.
Five years ago, on Sunday April 12, I went to church and listened to the choir (with whom I had rehearsed but with whom I was too weak to perform) sing about resurrection and sacrifice and perfect love.

We parents of angels often refer to ourselves as being "in the club that nobody wants to join," and while it's true that I wish I'd never had to join, I must say that if you do have to join, there is no time like right before Easter.


Mallory said...

I admire your faith. I know that Heavenly Father loves all of His children, but I think that He is especially fond of those who bear trials, like miscarriage, with a total reliance on Him.

Stacy Smith said...

I had an experience very similar to that. A week or so after my first miscarriage, I ended up singing (and bawling) with my ward choir as we sang "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing.) I'll never forget it.

Kelly said...

God bless you. {{HUGS}}}

Christa said...

Our bishopric did the Easter talks this year, and one of them was talking about when the Savior was in te garden and how the disciples fell asleep. The Savior asked could you not wait one hour with me?
There is a song (it's on my blog) by a christian artist Natalie Grant called "Held"...I had never thought about that question in a personal sense until I heard that song. It's about loosing someone, and how Heavenly Father has promised us that when everything else falls we will be held. I know that is true. But I had never thought that when the Savior said "Could you not wait one hour with me?" that he was talking to me, he was saying "I am baring your burdens, just wait one more hour with me, and I will see you through." Not wait for me, not wait on me, Wait WITH me, because he is always WITH us, and he has already felt our pain, so that he can comfort our hearts.
You are right, I don't want to be in this club we are in, but being in this club lead me to being a blog friend with you, it also opened a door to share the gospel with many people who didn't undestand my peace that I would see my child again, and that if I am faithful I will be able to raise my child.
Lots of mommy loves!

Josie said...

Hugs mama!

Sanity said...

*hugs* You're right, it's the club no one wants to join

Future Mama said...

Oh man, it's a club I don't want to join.. It must be such a hard club to be in. I'm so glad thought that through your experience and strength you can comfort others :)

Janeen said...

Actually, the days are off by one. I know this because five years ago back in March were some rough days for me. My mom's trial was in March 2004. That year was a leap year so February and March did not share the same days. Her trial started the 8th and the verdict came back on the 11th, a Thursday. This year, on March 11th, a Wednesday (no Leap day this year), I was on an airplane heading for South Korea to join my husband who had already been here for 4 months without us. It was hard to believe that so much happened in those five years but they did. I will say that the day of my BIL's murder and the five year anniversary of it did fall on the same day last summer as did my five year wedding anniversary from the day I originally got married (which was also the same day of the week I was born--I got married on my 23rd birthday). But having my BIL's death fall on the same day made us all a little nervous. Saturday the 28th of a month was already a bad omen, for the fifth anniversary to fall on the same day was even worse.

So sorry for what you went through, the idea of what could have been I'm sure is never far from your mind. (((HUGS)))

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