Friday, February 24, 2012

Lenten Thoughts #1--help thou mine unblief

Today, while the children were napping, I took my two minutes to sit in stillness and quietness to ponder. I did not have a mantra or particular concept in mind when I sat down, but almost immediately a scripture verse came to mind:
Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief  
(Mark 9:24)
The dichotomy is striking. I pondered on what it meant (since there is no conjunction in the sentence).
"I believe, but help mine unbelief?"
"I believe, and help mine unbelief?"
And then I was struck with "I believe, so help mine unbelief."

I think that belief is a choice, and that it is one we must make constantly, even daily. Belief may inherently mean daily looking unbelief in the face and saying "I still choose to believe." Some days, at least for me, it is more of "I want to believe," but the result is the same.

Lehi taught his son that "there must needs be opposition in all things," and so it is with belief. If you really care about your faith, about your spirituality, then you will have to face a certain amount of conflict over it. Sometimes that conflict comes from outside yourself, and sometimes from within. Sometimes it comes both directions.

So choosing belief can also mean accepting unbelief as something that you'll have to face repeatedly.
And that's ok.
Because when your doubts cause you to question your faith, you can also use your faith to question your doubts.

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