Thanksgiving Week 6--Taikuu

So I missed a couple of weeks, but I'll catch them up.☺

 Taikuu ("tay-koo") is the Inupaq word for thanks. It is pretty standard usage up here. I even see it on otherwise-English signs in businesses and such. I like it. I think it's pretty, and also I have a geekish fascination with words that have a double-u.

1. I'm thankful for the gift of literacy, and for all the doors it opens.
2. I'm thankful for the gift of writing, for the fulfillment it brings, for the things I am able to accomplish with it.
3. I'm thankful for the gift of travel, and for many places I have been able to go in the world at various points in my life.
4. I'm thankful for teamwork, and for the fantastic people I work with at The Amethyst Network and other organizations I am part of.
5. I'm so SO thankful for the technology of the internet. That I can communicate with people from around the world, even in real time. I'm thrilled to be able to have video chats with multiple family members at the same time, so we can have a monthly sisters' book club even though we are spread across 4 states and 4 time zones, and so that I can see my grandparents on thanksgiving even though they are 3000 miles away
6. I'm thankful for my family far away. For the phone calls and emails and letters and texts.
7. I'm thankful for my family right here. For the hugs and cuddles and "Honey I'll make dinner tonight"s and "Mommy I'm happy"s. I sure love my crazy boys.

Learning Place Value

Place value is a difficult concept for many kids. Bear has been regularly mixing up places, usually just guessing at whether "41" is fourteen or forty-one. I've tried to help him see the patterns in the hundreds chart, and help him hear that "four" comes before "one" in forty-one, but in the long run he has mostly still been guessing.

Today the math lesson (we are using Horizons kindergarten math) was about place value. I read the teachers manual which said to make a big visual aid showing two columns, and then to put different numbers in them and talk about it... Matching color-coordinated columns were in his workbook. (I do want to note that I have really liked this math curriculum, today is the first time that I have felt like I needed to come up with something additional of my own.)

He has already been learning about pennies and dimes for several weeks. This includes counting them up and writing the total amount of cents (dimes and/or pennies). So, rather than use numbers in the columns demonstration, I used coins. (These happen to be plastic coins from the Horizon's manipulatives set, but obviously real coins would work!)

I made the two columns and labeled and color-coordinated them like his book. Then I got out ten pennies and a few dimes. I made nine spots in the 'ones' place column, so that he could visually see when it was 'filled up.'

Currently he is practicing writing numbers and using number lines up to the 40s, so basically I just counted with him. I put on one penny at a time, and we counted. When we got to nine, I said "uh-oh, I don't have any more places for pennies, I will need to use a dime instead to make the ten cents." I slid all the pennies off the page and put on a dime. I showed him how there was one coin in the first column and zero coins in the second column ("10"). Then we started adding pennies again and counting till we got to 19, when he gleefully swiped the pennies off and plunked down a dime. We continued counting up to 40, and several times I stopped and had him take note of how many coins were in each column, and what number we were on, so that he could see the correlation between place value and numbers.

He seems to get it. ☺

I suspect that somewhere down the road we will revisit this, only adding dollar coins (or dollar bills) to a third column. 

Thanksgiving week 5: Fresh Beginnings

This morning there is a fresh layer of snow on the ground. We had a slight dusting a few weeks ago, but this is the first real snow of the season.
As is the case with many bush towns, Kotzebue has a lot of STUFF around. People save everything (usually in their yards) because you never know when you might need it, and it's expensive to ship things out, so if it's already here you definitely don't want to throw it away. In addition, many houses are made with plywood, sheet metal and tar paper. I joked to my husband last spring that you know you might be in a bush town if you look at a house and can't tell whether it's occupied or set for demolition... A significant number of houses really do look that way.
In short, this is not a pretty town.
Until it snows.
Snow covers all the ugly things with a gentle blanket of white, and suddenly my neighbor's front yard junk heap is just a white mound... the ugliness is gone. (Well, it's not all gone, but it's going, and a little more snow will finish the job...if the mess is big enough, these things can take time.)

This is 1 of our 4 wood piles. The green shed there is also full (about 2 more piles worth).

As I looked out the window this morning I thought of the election results last night. Months of intensity, anger, and even sheer hatred all led up to one night of high emotions: elation for some, depression or resignation for others...I suspect it's some kind of mix for most. All the ugliness--theoretically--is over now. The results are what they are, and whether we like it or not, the decisions have been made. Now we all have a chance to start over fresh, with a new congress, a newly (re)chosen president, and a variety of new laws chosen by the will of the people. I hope we can move forward gracefully and kindly, in spite of whatever personal feelings might be hiding under the snow.

Today I am grateful

1. that the election is over. I hope that the hatred and anger will calm now as well.
2. to have the right to vote. It's only been 90 years that women have had that right in this country.
3. that all the candidates who made significant rape-accepting comments during this campaign (such as that "some girls rape so easy" or that "if it's a legitimate rape the female body can shut [conception] down" or that "having a baby out of wedlock is similar to rape") were DEFEATED. As Stephen Colbert said, yes, abortion is a complex issue and we don't all agree on it. But I thought we agreed on rape. Yes indeed, the people have spoken. We DO agree on rape.
4. for New Hamshire making another first: they were first to ratify the constitution (earning their slogan as "the first state"), 4 years ago they were the first state to have a female majority in their state senate, and last night they were the first ever state to elect a completely female federal delegation and governor.
5. that we have the highest ever percentage of women in congress. 17% was our prior high. As of today, there are 19 women in the senate (with two more races still too close to call). As I explained to a friend, I have never made a political decision based on the candidates sex or race. I have always looked at issues and voting records. I'm not saying that women are superior either. I'm not saying they should run it all... I'm saying they have not been equally represented, and I think it *affects how our legislature functions, so I am happy to see an increasing percentage of women in these roles.
6. that Elizabeth Warren got into the Senate. She is awesome. She is one of the few people I've ever seen that I think may be able to remain unsullied by politics. She has a beautiful track record of truthfulness and wisdom (she's a big proponent of fiscal responsibility, and warned the last administration of the impending financial crisis before it happened but they ignored her). It's just encouraging to see somebody honest slide in from behind and win a big race.
7. and in my one partisan statement of the week, I am very very glad that Barack Obama won.

*How does the number of women in congress affect legislative function? In two ways:
Firstly, 51% of the population is female, but less than 20% of congress is, and obviously that's seriously skewed. Now I grant that either sex could represent either sex, but I think there is still something to women being SO underrepresented. It means that women's concerns (such as maternity leave or maternal mortality rates) are essentially ignored by our congress. Because there are not enough people there who care enough to do anything about them. (The USA has a pathetic record on maternity leave compared to all other first world countries, and our maternal mortality rate is next in line with Albania and other eastern European countries...not what it should be for a country with the most money and the best doctors...)
Secondly--I know this is a stereotype but there IS something to it--men tend to want to win, women tend to be willing to compromise for the common good. In other words, a higher percentage of women in congress may help with bipartisanship and help do away with this gridlock...
So that is why I care about there being more women in congress.

Getting Down with my Bento Self

Last fall, when Bear started going to pre-school, he often wanted to pack a lunch. (My kids sometimes like getting the school lunch, but often complain that it's not as good as leftovers from home!) I admit I've been fascinated by bento box meals for some time, and this was a perfect chance to try it out.

I bought a Goodbyn lunchbox with sections. It's not a true bento box, but we had some fun with it. (Later in the year he opted for more school lunches and fewer from-home ones, so I don't have a lot of photos, but here are a few.)

I collected lots of ideas for lunch components and contents on a pinterest board Spiffy Packed Lunches. I also bought some small picks, tiny forks, and condiment containers to use in the lunches (you'll see those in the photos). They were very cheap at www.allthingsforsale.com (you can see them on the pinterest board too)
And although most of mine here do not look as exciting as most of the ones on the board, but in all cases, the contents of the lunches were chosen by the child... he didn't think that peanut butter and jelly rolled up into 'sushi' was cool. Oh well.

Before the lunchbox arrived, I just used several small containers in a lunchbag. Here: grapes, olives, water, and a hamburger patty cut into two pieces for easier dipping in the ketchup.

applesauce, milk, peanut butter sandwich

grapes, some chocolate chips (dessert, in the pink container), orange juice, turkey wraps

the turkey wraps are secured with the picks. The kids liked picking whether they got a rocket, robot, or truck on their wrap

milk, a hot dog, and two containers of ketchup (just in case!)

chocolate cake, orange juice, polish sausage (with no ketchup, his choice)

Although I never made it into much of an art form, I do think that having several finger foods in their own little sections is a great way to do packed lunches for kids. Although I don't seem to have any pictures with the tiny forks, they are popular at home too for eating olives, grapes, and other tiny foods. ☺

Thanksgiving week 4: Safe and Secure

In the midst of the news about an earthquake in Canada, tsunamis in parts of Alaska (smallish ones, but still related to the earthquake), and of course the massive destruction of Storm Sandy in the eastern parts of the USA, today I am grateful for many things.

1. To have a wood stove, and a huge wood pile that we spent several months building, so that my house can always be warm, even in the absence of electricity or fuel.
2. My gas cook stove (because cooking on the wood stove is not really that hard, but the baking is terrible!)
3. I have food stored in my house. It's not a year's supply, but we could live exclusively on it for a few weeks at least (still rebuilding it after being gone all summer).
4. That I live in not-hurricane country. Because earthquakes and tsunamis don't scare me half as much, I admit. (And maybe that's a matter of habit, but it's true!) I'm also glad to live in not-tornado country. Blizzards don't worry me because of #1, 2 and 3.
5. That my parents taught me frugality and self-sufficiency. Have I said that before? Probably. But I'm very serious about it. As I go through life I keep meeting people who don't know how to cook from scratch, budget, or otherwise be economical...and I am SO grateful that I was taught these things.
6. That all my family and friends in Sandy's path are ok. 
7. For the many people who have worked and are working to help take care of those who are not ok.

My prayers go up for the many people who are suffering right now.

Between Worlds

Samhain

All Hallows Eve

All Saints Day and All Souls Day

the Day of the Dead

A time when the veil between worlds is believed to be thin, when those on the other side and those on this side can reach out toward one another, maybe even touch, and exist in the mindful space of knowing that life is eternal, relationships are eternal, and that these cycles will go on and on for always.

One heart inside another, one generation inside another

Many things are on my mind today...
Miscarriage and infant loss awareness month is just behind us and I have been working on projects for The Amethyst Network all month.
A friend who recently passed a due date for a baby who was stillborn two months ago
A friend who just found out she is pregnant (after multiple miscarriages)
A friend who is expecting a baby any day (after a difficult miscarriage almost exactly a year ago) 
My own children who are not with me here, but who sometimes seem to reach out to hold my hand or pat my shoulder
My great great grandmother Juliette who made eye contact with me through a photo this summer and whom I have been trying to learn more about ever since
Many others who have crossed over to that side, whether prematurely or very maturely, and others who are on their way to this side...
Do they see us from their side as rarely as we see them from ours? Or is the veil a one-sided mirror, where they can see us easily, but except in fleeting moments we see only ourselves?

I do not know the ins and outs of life and death.One thing I do know is that the universe and the eternities are bigger than our little minds can know in this human form. I believe in a larger interconnectedness between all generations, all times, all eternities. I believe because of times like now, where the veil is thin and we catch a glimpse between the worlds.

Interconnectedness

I was thinking about jack o lanterns this morning. A very ordinary squash, but once a year we poke through the crust so that we can see what is inside. We carve a variety of shapes and for a variety of reasons, and then we set a light inside and behold, a simple squash becomes a lantern. When I look at one now I cannot help but think of looking through to a world beyond. I just got to like them a whole lot more.

Thanksgiving week 3--Feminism Strikes Again

I'm a few days late on this... but we'll all politely ignore that, ok? It's still the first half of the week. That's close enough!

This week I have been reading a book about the women's movement in the United States from 1960-2008. I was fairly uneducated on all of this, having heard snippets of "bra burning" and "ERA marches" but not really knowing the details of any of it. When Everything Changed by Gail Collins is 400 pages long and I have devoured it in a week. It is fascinating.
As I gain a better understanding of the status quo in 1960, I sympathize with why those feminists were so radical. They had to be. Women fought for 100 years to get the right to vote, but even after that they were limited in many ways. For example, a woman (even a single woman) could not get a credit card or loan unless she had her spouse (or father) to co-sign with her. One principal proudly explained that he loved hiring women teachers because they were just as good as the men "but I can pay them half as much!" As late as 1972, a woman senator was literally forced to share a chair (with a black male senator) in committee, because the committee chairman considered them each to be "only half a person."


Wow we have come a long way. And yet in some areas we continue to fight exactly the same problems. Although I love being a stay at home mom, I recognize that not everyone wants to do that, or is able to do that. While the economy struggles, more and more women feel that they need to work, even if they want to be home with their children. Most women in this country (and certainly teachers) now get paid more than half of men's wages...but the national average is 78%, so the gender gap is still there. Women are half the population, but only 17% of the US congress. Is this because fewer women run for office? Or because the citizenry believe that men are more capable? Regardless, it does mean that most of women's concerns are underrepresented in federal legislation. In households where both parents work, usually the woman is still expected to handle the majority of the housekeeping and cooking. In broken families, women usually keep the children, but about a third of fathers do not contribute financial or other child support. Only 3 of every 100 rapists ever spends even one day behind bars. In other words, we still have a long way to go.

And so in that spirit, I would like to share a list of things that this feminist is grateful for this week

1. That my husband (both financially and otherwise) supports my desire to be a stay at home parent.
2. That my parents (especially my mother) taught me frugality and sustainability as a way of life, so that I have the skills to live modestly and within our means.
3. That I have sufficient education (and in an appropriate field) that I could support my family if I needed too.
4. That I and my family have been able to take advantage of programs such as WIC and medicaid to help us make ends meet when we were struggling.
5. That, in spite of how notoriously low teacher's pay is, that it also comes with good medical benefits.
6. For the many women--and men--who went before me, fighting battles for women (such as getting the right to vote, or to get loans, or own property, or escape abusive marriages) so that there is a little less left to fight for now.
7. For the many women--and men--who are still fighting the good fight, in their many ways. Whether they are teaching their daughters that they are equally important with their sons, or giving them the skills and education to go somewhere in the world. Whether they are making laws or catching babies or counseling victims. And for the many who will continue to do these things in the future.

Why this Pro-Lifer Votes 'Pro-Choice' (for now)

I hope you don't mind if I share a thought on an issue (which is a realization that led me to shift my political stances significantly a few years ago).

I am heartily pro-life. In the past I had sometimes let that issue be the single issue that determined who I voted for. After all, killing babies is evil, so anyone who doesn't fight abortion must also be evil. But in light of the facts I've changed my mind.

I appreciate that there are a GREAT many arguments about when a baby becomes a baby...certainly in the first few hours or days after the sperm meets the egg it doesn't seem like much of a baby. A significant number of these joinings don't manage to implant in the uterus and are miscarried...sometimes this is the result of a birth control pill or an IUD or something like a morning-after-pill, and probably just as often it just happens naturally. I, personally, do not consider this to be an abortion. I think that morning after pills should be readily available to victims of rape and incest, and you know what, frankly, probably to anyone who wants them. A morning after pill taken the day after sex works the same way as a birth control pill taken the day before.
Once we get past implantation though, things change. Human babies have a heartbeat by about 5 weeks gestation (this is 1 week after mom has missed her period, or within a few days of when she gets a positive pregnancy test). I know plenty of people who will argue about whether the spirit/soul of the child is in there yet at this stage--the baby certainly doesn't look very human yet. [see image]
But a heartbeat seems to me to be a fair designation of "life." In other words, I think a baby is a baby by the time that mommy knows it is there.

Without equivocation, I affirm that I want to protect the lives of babies before they are born. I also state, equally vehemently, that I want to protect the lives of people of all ages after they are born. I think that someone who values life needs to value comprehensive healthcare and welfare programs for the impoverished, because every year far more people die preventable deaths outside of wombs than in them.

I really hate abortion, personally. I cannot imagine a circumstance where I would ever have one, nor would I ever advise a friend to do so.  BUT, currently our society has SO LITTLE support for poor parents, single parents, working mothers, etc that I have sympathy for why some women feel that they simply cannot have a(nother) baby. They can't afford the child, the diapers, the food, the clothes, the childcare, etc etc. Giving up babies to adoption is stigmatized, keeping a baby and raising it alone is stigmatized... it's a lose-lose-lose situation. Some of these women are married and simply feel they cannot afford another baby, or are afraid to bring a child into an abusive situation. I know we sensationalize stories about abortions for gender-selection and things like that, but those are such a small minority. The one person I have personally known who got an abortion did so because she had been drinking and using drugs at the time she conceived and she feared that her actions would harm the child for a lifetime. She considered abortion the humane choice. Whether anyone else agrees with her is not the point. The point is that she took the matter seriously, and was trying to make a moral choice from her perspective.

If we make abortion illegal, then women are still going to do it, but instead of going to doctors in clean offices they will be doing it with coat hangers in basements...that's what they were doing before 1972 and I have no hesitation in thinking they will do it again. Women used to die from those abortions. Yes, babies are dying now, but the death toll was twice as high when both baby and mother died. Making something illegal doesn't make it stop. Consider marijuana! Or the speakeasies during prohibition!

I would love to see the abortion rates go down in this country, but I don't think that overturning Roe vs Wade is the solution. In order to reduce the abortion rate, the first step is to reduce those unwanted pregnancies. This requires easy and affordable access to contraceptives for any woman who wants them. It requires reducing the cultural stigma that surrounds rape, so that women who are raped will not be afraid to go to the hospital (and get the morning after pill). It should include reducing rape--a good first step there would be to prosecute and punish more than 3 of every 100 rapists, or to even report more than the half that get reported currently. It also requires more comprehensive sex education for every young person in the country. I love the idea of having parents do this teaching, but since most of them don't, then it should be available in schools. (Abstinence is a great part of sex ed, but should never be the only thing taught, because there will always be kids who simply are not going to do it.)
Once we've reduced the number of unplanned pregnancies, there remains the question of how to address the ones that do happen. Here again, society needs to step up. These women and girls need to be supported. They need to know that if they have this baby, they will be able to afford those diapers and clothes, that food, that childcare. They need people around them who will help them through the pregnancy, birth, and parenting processes. If they choose to give the child up for adoption, they need to have the option of choosing the adoptive parents, having an open or closed adoption, or whatever else feels most comfortable to them. AND they need to be supported before, during, and after the adoptive process (I hear that giving up a child for adoption can feel very much like losing a child, and that intense grieving is normal, even for a mother who felt sure in her choice. If she felt pressured into it at all, I'm sure it is much worse.)

I am pro-life, but I believe that abortion needs to remain legal in this country, at least for now. I certainly support there being some limitations and restrictions, but until the social structure and support is in place for these women and girls, I find it counter-productive to try to make abortion entirely illegal. There is a letter here which provides an excellent example of someone who is trying to work on that social support (I know it's long, but it is really really good). It is one tiny step and we have so much further to go, but it is heading in the right direction. My hope (and my vote) go toward supporting the social policies that will reduce the unplanned pregnancies, and support those who have them: it is the most pro-life option I can think of.

Paper plate eyeball experiment

This semester we are studying the human body. I remembered doing this experiment as a kid, and my kids (kindergarten and 7th grade) both enjoyed it.
This is something that is easy to do, you probably have all the materials on hand already.  It's a really good visual aid for how our eyes work. I had seen diagrams of this in books, but it never made as much sense as when we did this experiment.

(My apologies that the photos aren't great, the angles and lighting were not conducive to good photography, as that was somewhat of an afterthought to this project!)

Materials:
a large eye lens (made with a paper plate or cardstock)
several yards of string or yarn
tape
a piece of butcher paper
2 or more volunteers

1. First, make an eyeball. Color the iris if you like. Cut out the middle.
2. Secure the eyeball about 2 1/2-3 ft from the floor (depending on the height of your volunteers). You can tape it to the top of a yardstick and have someone hold it, or tape it to a chair. The important thing is just that it stays still.
3. Have someone pose in an interesting way (something non-symmetrical) a few feet on one side of the eyeball. You may want to have them on a chair, because they will need to remain in the pose for several minutes without moving.
4. Hang the butcher paper on the wall on the opposite side of the eyeball from the poser, at approximately the same distance from the eyeball.
5. Tape one end of a piece of string to the posing volunteer, pass it through the center of the eye, and tape it to the butcher paper (wherever it ends up after being put through the CENTER of the eye). 
6. Repeat step 5 with 2 or more other locations on the body. (I recommend head for one, and then try elbows, knees, shoulders, or other joints).
7. Using the strings as guides, sketch a rough outline of the person on the butcher paper. As you do this, you will notice that the person is upside down on the drawing. This is because our eyes take things in upside down, and it is then our brain that flips them back up.

our model

the eye (and strings)

the 'back of the eyeball' upside down picture

Thanksgiving week 2, "Committed" and "The Vow"

I don't know if this will continue for all the weeks of thanksgiving this year, but this week as I think over my list of things I'm grateful for, I again find myself pondering over things I have read and seen in recent days.

This week I began reading "Committed: A Love Story" by Elizabeth Gilbert. It was recommended by a friend, and I didn't realize when I got it that it was a memoir (I thought it was more of a marriage advice book). Ms Gilbert had been through a really rough divorce, and swore she would never marry again...but then her boyfriend got deported and they realized that the only way they could be together was to get married... and so she spent a year researching marriage (via both reading and doing interviews around the world), to try to warm up to the idea. In the book she contemplates the religious and social functions of marriage, the purpose of it, and the implications. In many ways she gained a more mature view of marriage, and learned a great deal about what makes marriages work (or not), and how to have a healthier marriage for herself on her second time around. One of the major things she discussed was being responsible for her own happiness, rather than expecting marriage to automatically make her life into a "happily ever after," and she went on at some length about accepting each other as whole people, with our grubby parts as well as our shiny ones.

Last night I watched the movie "The Vow" which is based on a Nicholas Sparks book. In the story, a young married couple got in a car accident and she suffered a serious head injury. After she woke up, she had no memory of her husband or their courtship. She had previously cut off contact with her parents, but after the accident she had no memory of that either, and they were only too happy to have her back--and to cut him out. The husband patiently works to court her and try to get her to fall in love with him all over again. What I loved most about the story was not the (perhaps inevitable) happy Nicholas Sparks ending, but that the whole thing is based (I don't know how loosely) on a true story, and that the real couple is currently married with two kids, even though she never did regain her memory.

So, with those things on my mind, here are the things I am grateful for this week:

1. My husband
2. That my spouse knows my faults not only likes me anyway, but also helps make up the slack with his own strengths. (We both tend to take up the slack for the other.)
3. My egalitarian marriage.
4. The opportunity to be (and support from my spouse in being) a stay at home parent
5. The opportunity to birth and raise children
6. My children themselves, both for the fulfillment they bring me, and for the lessons they teach me.
7. The repeated validation that the most important and worthwhile thing I can be doing with my time and energies right now is to be present with my children, and teach them to love.