(I know the captions are too small to read here on the blog, but if you click on the image then you'll be able to see it full size)
Enjoy!
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
What I Really Do...
These have been flying around facebook the last few days. A few applied to me (more or less), and I found them amusing.
(I know the captions are too small to read here on the blog, but if you click on the image then you'll be able to see it full size)
Enjoy!
(I know the captions are too small to read here on the blog, but if you click on the image then you'll be able to see it full size)
Enjoy!
Monday, February 13, 2012
In Which I Worry People...Again...
I seem to have a knack for worrying people. This isn't the first time, and I'm sure it won't be the last. But I thought I'd take a few moments to explain a couple of things.
Without question, I am in a transition, a spiritual journey, perhaps even a faith crisis. I know that family and friends are worried over me, and praying for me. I appreciate the prayers. I am sure I need them. Please trust that I am studying, pondering, praying, meditating, and wrestling with these matters. I write about these things here because I would rather be honest about my journey, about my struggles, and about the light where I find it fitting together.
But I am definitely struggling, in no small part because simple obedience and following the commandment checklist has left me out in the cold so very much, and I need something more. I have been unsustained. I finally stopped relying on the church for my spirituality--perhaps I had been too passive in that way. When I opened up to that option though, I realized that holiness was everywhere, and that I could tap into it. I probably should have learned to demand spiritual experiences years ago, but I never did. But I'm finding them now (both in and out of 'church' contexts), and the complication is that now I don't feel so dependent on the church structure. I like it, but it's very simple, and between scriptures and words of prophets like Joseph Smith and David O McKay I'm seeing that the current organization focuses on a very narrow part of the gospel (which is no shock for a church that is half new converts), but that doesn't make the rest of the gospel any less valid. And so I struggle to reconcile the gospel that I am understanding with the organization that I am part of.
I'm not trying to be 'beyond' commandments, I think it would be more accurate to say that I'm in a place where I can't do a thing simply for obedience's sake. I need to understand it. I need to be able to see where it fits into the bigger picture. I was raised me to do that--to ask questions, to seek to understand, to question the mainstream way of doing things.
The iron rod/liahona dichotomy is a flawed metaphor, certainly (although if you look at the comments on that post, I did have a chance to broaden/improve it a bit). But it was a step in the process for me, and something that is useful for me in this moment. Liahona trumps rod for me, because neither the scriptures nor the modern leadership have answers for everything unless we filter them with the spirit. I spent 5 years and 7 miscarriages learning that.
And you know what I learned?
To be still. To meditate. To ponder. To think.
So I am trying to follow the voice that told me almost 7 years ago to "be still and know that I am God." And in the stillness, I have moments of stunning clarity.
In one of them I was taught of Mother, and my connection to Her. In one of them I was impressed that my children are the most important thing that I have, and that teaching them to find the spirit is the most important thing I can give them. I've learned that holiness and miracles are everywhere if I will only acknowledge them.
I know I don't have it all figured out. Perhaps part of the reason I need to find this on my own right now is that church is never a quiet or still affair...my children are small and I'm in primary. The way they are and the way they need to learn is not compatible with the conditions that I need for spiritual growth or enlightenment right now.
It's a like being on a hike perhaps. And I know the standard advice is to "lengthen my stride," to just hike a little faster; but my legs are short, and there's fog everywhere so I can't see the view right now anyway. I know the fog will clear with time though, and right now I just need to sit down and rest a little, and appreciate the trees and flowers and rocks and holiness and miracles and magic right here for a while before I'll have the energy to keep hiking. And I know some hikers like to just keep moving, and that's fine. But I always did hike with the slower group, with the little kiddos and the flower-lookers. I don't hike fast. I can't. But I still get there.
Without question, I am in a transition, a spiritual journey, perhaps even a faith crisis. I know that family and friends are worried over me, and praying for me. I appreciate the prayers. I am sure I need them. Please trust that I am studying, pondering, praying, meditating, and wrestling with these matters. I write about these things here because I would rather be honest about my journey, about my struggles, and about the light where I find it fitting together.
But I am definitely struggling, in no small part because simple obedience and following the commandment checklist has left me out in the cold so very much, and I need something more. I have been unsustained. I finally stopped relying on the church for my spirituality--perhaps I had been too passive in that way. When I opened up to that option though, I realized that holiness was everywhere, and that I could tap into it. I probably should have learned to demand spiritual experiences years ago, but I never did. But I'm finding them now (both in and out of 'church' contexts), and the complication is that now I don't feel so dependent on the church structure. I like it, but it's very simple, and between scriptures and words of prophets like Joseph Smith and David O McKay I'm seeing that the current organization focuses on a very narrow part of the gospel (which is no shock for a church that is half new converts), but that doesn't make the rest of the gospel any less valid. And so I struggle to reconcile the gospel that I am understanding with the organization that I am part of.
I'm not trying to be 'beyond' commandments, I think it would be more accurate to say that I'm in a place where I can't do a thing simply for obedience's sake. I need to understand it. I need to be able to see where it fits into the bigger picture. I was raised me to do that--to ask questions, to seek to understand, to question the mainstream way of doing things.
The iron rod/liahona dichotomy is a flawed metaphor, certainly (although if you look at the comments on that post, I did have a chance to broaden/improve it a bit). But it was a step in the process for me, and something that is useful for me in this moment. Liahona trumps rod for me, because neither the scriptures nor the modern leadership have answers for everything unless we filter them with the spirit. I spent 5 years and 7 miscarriages learning that.
And you know what I learned?
To be still. To meditate. To ponder. To think.
So I am trying to follow the voice that told me almost 7 years ago to "be still and know that I am God." And in the stillness, I have moments of stunning clarity.
In one of them I was taught of Mother, and my connection to Her. In one of them I was impressed that my children are the most important thing that I have, and that teaching them to find the spirit is the most important thing I can give them. I've learned that holiness and miracles are everywhere if I will only acknowledge them.
I know I don't have it all figured out. Perhaps part of the reason I need to find this on my own right now is that church is never a quiet or still affair...my children are small and I'm in primary. The way they are and the way they need to learn is not compatible with the conditions that I need for spiritual growth or enlightenment right now.
It's a like being on a hike perhaps. And I know the standard advice is to "lengthen my stride," to just hike a little faster; but my legs are short, and there's fog everywhere so I can't see the view right now anyway. I know the fog will clear with time though, and right now I just need to sit down and rest a little, and appreciate the trees and flowers and rocks and holiness and miracles and magic right here for a while before I'll have the energy to keep hiking. And I know some hikers like to just keep moving, and that's fine. But I always did hike with the slower group, with the little kiddos and the flower-lookers. I don't hike fast. I can't. But I still get there.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Of Iron Rods and Liahonas
In the Book of Mormon, Nephi tells of two ways of following God's direction.
In the early chapters of his book (1 Nephi 8 and 11), he writes of a dream about an iron rod. The rod was alongside a "straight and narrow" path, and led to a tree which offered the fruit of eternal life. The rod is interpreted as being the word of God. All about the rod and path were "mists of darkness" and those who did not hold fast to the rod "lost their way" and "wandered off and were lost."
Later, (in chapter 16), Nephi and his family are given a Liahona, or director. It is something like a compass, being a ball with spindles, but rather than pointing just north instead it points the way they should go. It does not make a path for them, but points in a general direction and then they must choose their specific route. The ball works according to their faithfulness and responsiveness to it, and will give new directions in response to prayer.
In the early books of the Bible, the Mosaic law is laid out. It is elaborate, with minute details about which punishments should be doled out for each of the numerous infractions listed.
When Christ came, He fulfilled the law of Moses and replaced it with a new law. A much simpler and yet equally encompassing law: love one another. It is a law which requires personal interpretation (because the individual must determine which behaviors constitute "love" and which do not, rather than simply relying on a checklist as the Mosaic law had given).
Little children need detailed and specific rules. They need constant oversight and frequent direction. As they get older, the parent can step back and be less directive. Fewer rules and more self-guidence helps the young person develop their own internal ethical system. They learn to make independent decisions (and experience the consequences), rather than merely to follow orders. Direction is good for someone just starting, but ultimately "it is not meet that [anyone] should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant" (Doctrine & Covenants 58:26).
As a child, I remember learning that certain movie ratings were unacceptable. When I was in college, new guidelines were issued by the church with a different guideline: rather than draw a line for us, they asked us to use our own wisdom and perceptions about things ("if there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, seek after these things" cited in For the Strength of Youth). I believe this is the higher law.
Checklists and many specific rules can be helpful in the beginning, but ultimately they will restrain a person from developing to their full potential. As children, we are taught to fold our hands, bow our heads, and close our eyes when we pray. As we age, hopefully we learn to commune with God, regardless of our physical position, and we realize that prayers do not have to be verbalized to be real.
I have sometimes heard people talk about "Iron Rod Mormons" and "Liahona Mormons," meaning those who are strict rule-adherents as opposed to those who take things as general guidelines; the letter of the law folks and the spirit of the law folks; 'checklisters' or 'intuition-followers.' One group may refer to the other as 'stodgy,' while the others may refer back to them as 'lax.' I think that neither is true.
They are simply stages in the development of discipleship.
I was very much an Iron Rodder in my younger years, and I'm not any more. I've become a Liahona Mormon.The one naturally precedes the other. We all develop and change in our own ways and on our own timetables, so the differences in our faith styles should not be a reason for anyone to look down their noses at anyone else. But I would be lying if I didn't say that, based on scriptural examples as well as the study of human development, I believe that the liahona method is a later stage of development.
I realize that while holding to the security of that rod of iron, it can be intimidating to let go of it in order to trust tiny spindles on a little ball...to set out knowing only a general direction, but without a marked path. It is overwhelming, truly. However, I have come to the conclusion that letting go of the rod to follow the ball is NOT a form of getting lost, but rather a natural and totally appropriate form of development.
I don't think there is necessarily something wrong with staying with the Rod if it is working for you...but it must be acknowledged that it is a childlike form of discipleship. Yes, Christ called us to be like a little child...but then He also called us to be like Him. And Christ was no checklister. He broke the letter of the law left and right while teaching the spirit of the law. Jesus lived a Liahona life, and I'm trying to do the same.
In the early chapters of his book (1 Nephi 8 and 11), he writes of a dream about an iron rod. The rod was alongside a "straight and narrow" path, and led to a tree which offered the fruit of eternal life. The rod is interpreted as being the word of God. All about the rod and path were "mists of darkness" and those who did not hold fast to the rod "lost their way" and "wandered off and were lost."
 |
| art by Jerry Thompson [source link] |
Later, (in chapter 16), Nephi and his family are given a Liahona, or director. It is something like a compass, being a ball with spindles, but rather than pointing just north instead it points the way they should go. It does not make a path for them, but points in a general direction and then they must choose their specific route. The ball works according to their faithfulness and responsiveness to it, and will give new directions in response to prayer.
~♥~
In the early books of the Bible, the Mosaic law is laid out. It is elaborate, with minute details about which punishments should be doled out for each of the numerous infractions listed.
When Christ came, He fulfilled the law of Moses and replaced it with a new law. A much simpler and yet equally encompassing law: love one another. It is a law which requires personal interpretation (because the individual must determine which behaviors constitute "love" and which do not, rather than simply relying on a checklist as the Mosaic law had given).
~♥~
Little children need detailed and specific rules. They need constant oversight and frequent direction. As they get older, the parent can step back and be less directive. Fewer rules and more self-guidence helps the young person develop their own internal ethical system. They learn to make independent decisions (and experience the consequences), rather than merely to follow orders. Direction is good for someone just starting, but ultimately "it is not meet that [anyone] should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant" (Doctrine & Covenants 58:26).
~♥~
As a child, I remember learning that certain movie ratings were unacceptable. When I was in college, new guidelines were issued by the church with a different guideline: rather than draw a line for us, they asked us to use our own wisdom and perceptions about things ("if there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report, or praiseworthy, seek after these things" cited in For the Strength of Youth). I believe this is the higher law.
Checklists and many specific rules can be helpful in the beginning, but ultimately they will restrain a person from developing to their full potential. As children, we are taught to fold our hands, bow our heads, and close our eyes when we pray. As we age, hopefully we learn to commune with God, regardless of our physical position, and we realize that prayers do not have to be verbalized to be real.
~♥~
I have sometimes heard people talk about "Iron Rod Mormons" and "Liahona Mormons," meaning those who are strict rule-adherents as opposed to those who take things as general guidelines; the letter of the law folks and the spirit of the law folks; 'checklisters' or 'intuition-followers.' One group may refer to the other as 'stodgy,' while the others may refer back to them as 'lax.' I think that neither is true.
They are simply stages in the development of discipleship.
I was very much an Iron Rodder in my younger years, and I'm not any more. I've become a Liahona Mormon.The one naturally precedes the other. We all develop and change in our own ways and on our own timetables, so the differences in our faith styles should not be a reason for anyone to look down their noses at anyone else. But I would be lying if I didn't say that, based on scriptural examples as well as the study of human development, I believe that the liahona method is a later stage of development.
I realize that while holding to the security of that rod of iron, it can be intimidating to let go of it in order to trust tiny spindles on a little ball...to set out knowing only a general direction, but without a marked path. It is overwhelming, truly. However, I have come to the conclusion that letting go of the rod to follow the ball is NOT a form of getting lost, but rather a natural and totally appropriate form of development.
I don't think there is necessarily something wrong with staying with the Rod if it is working for you...but it must be acknowledged that it is a childlike form of discipleship. Yes, Christ called us to be like a little child...but then He also called us to be like Him. And Christ was no checklister. He broke the letter of the law left and right while teaching the spirit of the law. Jesus lived a Liahona life, and I'm trying to do the same.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Interview with a Wolf
(with thanks to The Road Less Traveled for coming up with the question list)
1. What is something mom always says to do?
get up off my duff
2. What makes mom happy?
when I do [get up off my duff]
3. What makes mom sad?
when I don't [get up off my duff]
4. How does your mom make you laugh?
she tells me the joke about the guy and the oscar meyer weiner truck
(what, you don't know that joke? A guy finds a genie. It gives him three wishes. He wishes for a fancy car *poof* there is a porche. He wishes for a million dollars *poof* there is a deposit slip in his hand. Then, as he sits there thinking of what he wants for his final wish, the oscar meyer truck drives by in the distance, and he begins to sing along "Oh I wish I were an oscar meyer weiner!")
5. What was your mom like as a child?
explorational (His word, I swear)
6. How old is your mom?
30
7. How tall is your mom?
6 ft (*snort!*)
8. What is her favorite thing to do?
knit
9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?
watch movies with dad
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
cuz of your knitting
11. What is your mom really good at?
knitting
12. What is your mom not very good at?
making me mad
13. What does your mom do for a job?
babysit
14.What is your mom’s favorite food?
strawberry cake (he said he meant strawberry shortcake)
15.What makes you proud of your mom?
her knitting (wow, I had no idea he cared so much!)
16. What do you and your mom do together?
talk about stuff
17. How are you and your mom the same?
we like science
18. How are you and your mom different?
she can stand the kids all yelling at the same time
19. How do you know your mom loves you?
she gives me stuff
20. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?
the hotel restaurant (it is the nicest place in town, there are only about 4 options)
1. What is something mom always says to do?
get up off my duff
2. What makes mom happy?
when I do [get up off my duff]
3. What makes mom sad?
when I don't [get up off my duff]
4. How does your mom make you laugh?
she tells me the joke about the guy and the oscar meyer weiner truck
(what, you don't know that joke? A guy finds a genie. It gives him three wishes. He wishes for a fancy car *poof* there is a porche. He wishes for a million dollars *poof* there is a deposit slip in his hand. Then, as he sits there thinking of what he wants for his final wish, the oscar meyer truck drives by in the distance, and he begins to sing along "Oh I wish I were an oscar meyer weiner!")
5. What was your mom like as a child?
explorational (His word, I swear)
6. How old is your mom?
30
7. How tall is your mom?
6 ft (*snort!*)
8. What is her favorite thing to do?
knit
9. What does your mom do when you’re not around?
watch movies with dad
10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
cuz of your knitting
11. What is your mom really good at?
knitting
12. What is your mom not very good at?
making me mad
13. What does your mom do for a job?
babysit
14.What is your mom’s favorite food?
strawberry cake (he said he meant strawberry shortcake)
15.What makes you proud of your mom?
her knitting (wow, I had no idea he cared so much!)
16. What do you and your mom do together?
talk about stuff
17. How are you and your mom the same?
we like science
18. How are you and your mom different?
she can stand the kids all yelling at the same time
19. How do you know your mom loves you?
she gives me stuff
20. Where is your mom’s favorite place to go?
the hotel restaurant (it is the nicest place in town, there are only about 4 options)
Friday, February 3, 2012
Hand of Love
I have a bracelet, custom made by a friend of mine, with charms of specific symbols that are meaningful to me. I have shared here about some of those symbols, such as the bee and the ruby, and I thought I would share about the other symbols, so that when I share the bracelet itself you'll be able to appreciate just how cool (and incredibly personal) it is. ☺
The spiral is a symbol of eternity (found both in Native American cave art and also in ancient Celtic carvings, such as at Newgrange). In some traditions, it is a symbol for "Spirit" (or Deity).
When the spiral is placed within a hand shape, as is found in many places in the southwestern USA, it is believed to be emitting energy, and is called a Shaman's Hand, or Healer's Hand. The hand with a spiral on the palm is now most often seen as a symbol of reiki, or energy healing. [source]
A similar symbol, the Jain hand, represents nonviolence (the main tenant of the religion). Jains strive to "halt the cycle of reincarnation through the practice of Jain asceticism, the avoidance of harm to any living creature."
In fact, another symbol I have seen in recent years is a hand with a heart in it being used to represent gentle discipline or nonviolent parenting. (I first saw it in conjunction with mention of the book "Hands are Not for Hitting.")
When I was looking for charms for my bracelet, I found myself drawn to this bead. I first liked it because it reminded me of henna--the drawing on the hand--but as I see the other things this symbol relates to I feel it is even more fitting. I strive to live a nonviolent life. I try to use my hands for healing, in giving care to my children, in holding them while I pray for them, and soon beyond my home as a doula.
This charm on my bracelet symbolizes peace, healing, gentleness, and using my hands (or taking physical action) to spread those things to the world around me.
The spiral is a symbol of eternity (found both in Native American cave art and also in ancient Celtic carvings, such as at Newgrange). In some traditions, it is a symbol for "Spirit" (or Deity).
A similar symbol, the Jain hand, represents nonviolence (the main tenant of the religion). Jains strive to "halt the cycle of reincarnation through the practice of Jain asceticism, the avoidance of harm to any living creature."
When I was looking for charms for my bracelet, I found myself drawn to this bead. I first liked it because it reminded me of henna--the drawing on the hand--but as I see the other things this symbol relates to I feel it is even more fitting. I strive to live a nonviolent life. I try to use my hands for healing, in giving care to my children, in holding them while I pray for them, and soon beyond my home as a doula.
This charm on my bracelet symbolizes peace, healing, gentleness, and using my hands (or taking physical action) to spread those things to the world around me.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Now I'm a Homeschooling Mom
I'm an eclectic homeschooler, as I was raised to be. I use some professional resources, but I don't let anyone dictate curriculum to me. I use a wide variety of things, and if something isn't working I don't' hesitate to drop it on its ear. I make up a lot of things too. I trust my gut, and I observe my child and adapt on the fly on a regular basis.
I get bored with doing the same thing every day. The first thing Wolf learned about homeschooling was that he had a list of assignments for the day, but that he could do them in any order--he was delighted. On the second day of homeschool he commented that they should give public school kids that option, and they might do better.
Yes dear, they might. But academic freedom doesn't work very well when you've got 30 kids per teacher...
So he has been reviewing times tables by skip counting on the trampoline (miss a beat/bounce and you have to start the set over). He also does math with a dry-erase marker on various windows or mirrors around the house...(after showing it to me) he washes the mirror/window when he's done, and he's just done school work AND one of his chores in one go.
We made a 1 1/2 batch of muffins the other day. Multiplying fractions. (Hubby, as a special ed teacher, works part of the day in the math classroom where Wolf used to be, and he said that all the kids there are struggling with multiplying fractions right now. Wolf started off slow, but he's not struggling, especially when he knows muffins are coming.)
We measured the basketball court next door (at the church building) and then calculated how many times he would need to run around it to get 1/4 mile (because he needs to do timed 1/4 mile runs for boy scouts).
We calculated the external area of a grain silo, so that we could paint it neon green. We also calculated the volume of the freezer, so we know how much food will fit in it. We also calculated what size of cylinder it would take to hold his little brother.
Apparently math can be interesting, and word problems don't have to involve buying 32 watermelons...
He has been reading The Hunger Games trilogy (and this next bit won't make sense unless you're familiar with them). For his writing assignments, he has been detailing new arena concepts, or strategies that he would employ if he were a tribute in one of those arenas. He comes up with some pretty intense things, and he seems to like it a lot more than "what I did over christmas break..."
He's been practicing handwriting by copying hymns and other songs (the ones he's supposed to be learning at church this year). He's practicing typing by being email pen-pals with his grandparents.
His math mixes with his social studies. His history mixes with his reading. His occupational education overlaps with his physical education which overlaps with his math. His writing mixes with his science. We watch documentaries. We read historical fiction. We cook. We clean. We talk about things...
We live real life.
And we learn.
I don't know how long Wolf will be homeschooling, but it is definitely the right thing right now.
(Bear is still going to preschool. He loves it. He has an entirely different personality from Wolf, and thrives in the sociality of school, so he may well continue there. Who knows. We evaluate each child each year. There is no default for education. We just do what works.)
I get bored with doing the same thing every day. The first thing Wolf learned about homeschooling was that he had a list of assignments for the day, but that he could do them in any order--he was delighted. On the second day of homeschool he commented that they should give public school kids that option, and they might do better.
Yes dear, they might. But academic freedom doesn't work very well when you've got 30 kids per teacher...
So he has been reviewing times tables by skip counting on the trampoline (miss a beat/bounce and you have to start the set over). He also does math with a dry-erase marker on various windows or mirrors around the house...(after showing it to me) he washes the mirror/window when he's done, and he's just done school work AND one of his chores in one go.
We made a 1 1/2 batch of muffins the other day. Multiplying fractions. (Hubby, as a special ed teacher, works part of the day in the math classroom where Wolf used to be, and he said that all the kids there are struggling with multiplying fractions right now. Wolf started off slow, but he's not struggling, especially when he knows muffins are coming.)
We measured the basketball court next door (at the church building) and then calculated how many times he would need to run around it to get 1/4 mile (because he needs to do timed 1/4 mile runs for boy scouts).
We calculated the external area of a grain silo, so that we could paint it neon green. We also calculated the volume of the freezer, so we know how much food will fit in it. We also calculated what size of cylinder it would take to hold his little brother.
Apparently math can be interesting, and word problems don't have to involve buying 32 watermelons...
He has been reading The Hunger Games trilogy (and this next bit won't make sense unless you're familiar with them). For his writing assignments, he has been detailing new arena concepts, or strategies that he would employ if he were a tribute in one of those arenas. He comes up with some pretty intense things, and he seems to like it a lot more than "what I did over christmas break..."
He's been practicing handwriting by copying hymns and other songs (the ones he's supposed to be learning at church this year). He's practicing typing by being email pen-pals with his grandparents.
His math mixes with his social studies. His history mixes with his reading. His occupational education overlaps with his physical education which overlaps with his math. His writing mixes with his science. We watch documentaries. We read historical fiction. We cook. We clean. We talk about things...
We live real life.
And we learn.
I don't know how long Wolf will be homeschooling, but it is definitely the right thing right now.
(Bear is still going to preschool. He loves it. He has an entirely different personality from Wolf, and thrives in the sociality of school, so he may well continue there. Who knows. We evaluate each child each year. There is no default for education. We just do what works.)
Friday, January 27, 2012
Introducing...
Shortly after we moved to Kotzebue, I was asked to be the leader for primary (the children's sunday school). In the LDS church, these things are not volunteer positions, they are assigned by the local leadership. I was not surprised that they called me to do this, because in this tiny congregation there are 5 children of primary age, and three of them are my own sons.
The first week that I taught a primary lesson, I had the thought that I wished there were a place where primary teachers could share resources--not the kind with cute clip-art and fluff--but real, scripture-based, substantive support and ideas. I knew it was too big an undertaking for me to do alone (especially considering my mental/physical/emotional state lately), but the idea still nagged at me. I knew I wanted to help make it happen.
Apparently, the idea was growing in other minds as well. And around new years, we found each other (oh how the internet can be a tool for wonderful things!). So we have created this blog "It's Time for Sharing" (incidentally, there was already a similar one for Young Womens, it's called Beginnings New).
I am very excited about this project. I am grateful for the other people involved with it, and also for the 'guest contributors' who thus far include my mother and sister (who are both involved in primary in their respective congregations, and who frankly have more experience with it than I do!)
This week the regular contributors of the blog were chatting about our purpose and desire for this blog. I thought I would share here what I wrote for them.
So there you have it, It's Time for Sharing, my latest endeavor to "Be the change [I] want to see in the world."-Gandhi
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| 'like' our facebook page for updates each time we post |
Apparently, the idea was growing in other minds as well. And around new years, we found each other (oh how the internet can be a tool for wonderful things!). So we have created this blog "It's Time for Sharing" (incidentally, there was already a similar one for Young Womens, it's called Beginnings New).
I am very excited about this project. I am grateful for the other people involved with it, and also for the 'guest contributors' who thus far include my mother and sister (who are both involved in primary in their respective congregations, and who frankly have more experience with it than I do!)
This week the regular contributors of the blog were chatting about our purpose and desire for this blog. I thought I would share here what I wrote for them.
I feel like a lot of teachers (not just in primary, at other levels too, but especially in primary) try to dumb down the doctrine. In their minds, they are making it 'simple' or 'accessible for the kids' or things like that. They believe that children can't understand. But I believe that children can understand, and that they WANT to KNOW! I believe that teaching truth and inspiring faith is worth more than following manuals or teaching obedience. I would rather teach a child how to seek personal revelation than teach him how to just always follow the leader. So my first purpose is to teach straight doctrine, without fluffing things up or leaving things out.
A second consideration for me is that I don't want them to learn things one way now, and then in 10 or 20 years be blindsided by the bigger picture. There are some issues in doctrine and history that are complicated and confusing. In the old testament God told people to kill people when they sinned--it's pretty harsh stuff. There is more than one first vision story, and they have significant differences between them. Joseph Smith married over 30 women, some of whom who were married to other men already... (not that I would bring this up to a 4 year old--it's not in their manuals anyway--but I would not shy away from explaining the basics of polygamy to an 8 or 9 year old, and I would explain the full polyandry to a teenager). I think it's appropriate to introduce the complex stuff line by line, as we introduce everything else. I look on it as inoculation. I first learned about polyandry when I was 12, and when I learned more about it as an adult, it did not trouble me to the degree that it does so many others. I already knew the basics, so the details didn't shake my testimony. So my second purpose is to be de-correlated enough to inoculate the children.
My third desire is to share my testimony. I have a testimony of a balanced theology, and a gospel of love. So I will teach the children that they have a Father AND Mother in Heaven, and that we can grow up to be like our heavenly parents, just as we can grow up to be like our earthly parents. I will teach the balance of men and women in God's eyes and god's plan (even though people don't always remember to treat each other equally, God does). I will teach love for everyone, including--or especially--those who are different from ourselves.
I feel that an unfortunate portion of primary materials focus on obey, obey, obey, follow, follow, follow...and basically discount a child's ability to receive revelation. Following is a good way to practice righteousness, but it is also necessary to gain skills in discernment, because for each person the day will come when there is no one to follow, and they have to make their own choices. I would rather teach a child to consider the options and make a choice (and live with the consequences), rather than to simply blindly obey. I have taught my children this way, and they are definitely capable of doing this at 3 and 4.
Finally, I have some experience with teaching, and with children. I've trained in education and studied psychology and development, and I feel like I have something to offer in the way of practical teaching suggestions. I hope that perhaps I can offer some ideas to those who do not have the training/experience in these areas, and who might feel overwhelmed or lost with a primary calling.
The way we approach all of this is important. "You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar" and so on... I very much want to be constructive, positive, and helpful. I don't want to be negative, bashing (on manuals or people), or raise conflict. As I have pondered the best way to do this, I think we need to consider why we are teaching/posting things (ie, am I teaching about Heavenly Mother because I think she's important, or because I want to ruffle feathers). Be genuine, don't make waves solely for the purpose of making waves. But don't hide your light under a bushel either--if something is really important in your testimony, don't gloss over it just because it's not in the manual. Finally, I think we need to be unapologetic and non-defensive when we post. That ties into why we post these things, but is an important note. I'm not going to say "I know the lesson was about obedience, but I'm going to adapt it and talk about choices instead..." I will simply say "I have adapted this lesson to talk about choices, rather than solely about obedience, because even obedience is a choice we make..."
So there you have it, It's Time for Sharing, my latest endeavor to "Be the change [I] want to see in the world."-Gandhi
Monday, January 23, 2012
Romantical little things
I was chatting with a friend recently. She and her husband have been struggling a bit, and she was trying to find ways to draw closer together again. Life can get in the way for anyone, and I think we each have periods where we feel distance between our self and our spouse. So, with that in mind, here are a list of things I have done or seen to help make sparks when the embers are burning low.
- Celebrate your "monthiversaries" every month. If you were married on the 8th, then every month on the 8th have a little celebration, whether it's a gift, getting flowers, going out to dinner, making a cake, or sending the kids to a babysitter's house so you can have a romantic evening together.
- Create and share a "couple's journal"--a notebook with a question at the top of each page. Maybe put a fancy pen with it. Then take turns writing answers back and forth to each other in the book.
- Buy a pad of post-it notes. Write a note to your spouse on every single one, and leave them all over the house: in their sock drawer, on the steering wheel, in the glove compartment, in kitchen drawers and cupboards, in a briefcase or backpack, in the book they are reading, on the mirror, on the wall, on their pillow... The notes may be as short as "♥" or maybe fill it up with a tiny love letter.
- Write the alphabet down one side of the page, and for each letter, write a word or phrase that is a reason why you love your spouse. (This is also fun to do as a series of 26 notes or emails, one at a time, letter by letter...)
- The same as the alphabet one, only with their name, or your names combined.
- Tell your spouse a list of things you love about them (or ask them to tell you). Don't worry how big or small each thing is, just start talking, and keep going as long as you can think of things. Especially if you've been struggling, this might be hard at first, but just do it...the more you say, the more come to mind, and it gets easier as you list more things. ☺ (If you think this sounds goofy, just TRY IT, I promise, it's pretty awesome.)
- Never underestimate the value of conversation. Pillow talk; discuss your dreams, concerns, and fears; talk about recent news topics, political issues, spiritual ideas, or philosophies; debate with each other; make plans; make dreams.
- For those on tight budgets or with very small children, date nights may be rare or non-existent. Try some of these ideas.
Friday, January 20, 2012
Frugal Friday: Dates for under $10
Spending time with your spouse is good for the relationship, but sometimes the budget makes it hard to go on dates very often. We spent about 5 years where, no matter how cheap a date we went on, the babysitter was cost-prohibitive! So here are a bunch of ideas of dates that are under about $10 (many are free), and also a few ideas for how to afford a babysitter.
BABYSITTING
GO OUT
STAY HOME
BABYSITTING
- find a free sitter--grandmas are famous for this, but they're not the only ones!
- barter--perhaps a neighbor or friend would be willing to watch your kids periodically in exchange for something...Last year a friend babysat for us in exchange for some of the fish Hubby had caught that summer. This year, our neighbor has agreed to babysit once a week in exchange for us letting her dog out to potty (since she is not able to come home midday and she is usually gone for 9-10 hours).
- create a co-op with other parents. Once a month you have all the kids at your house on a friday night, but the other weeks of the month you take your kids to one of their houses, and they babysit for you. It's especially workable if you have it just with one other family (ideally neighbors), and maybe one parent stays home with their kids and one comes over to be with yours. Alternate weeks.
GO OUT
- go on a picnic
- go on a hike
- go for a walk
- go to a matinee of a movie (if you live in Utah you can catch the dollar theater and do an evening movie for cheap)
- go give blood at a blood drive. Chat for an hour over the sandwiches and cookies and juice.
- go somewhere local and get ice cream or milkshakes or malts
- go to a cafe or restaurant, order one item, and share it
- get happy meals, take them to the park and have a picnic. Swing on the swings, play on the teeter-totter, go down the slides
- volunteer at a soup kitchen
- if your kids are a little older, set up a baby monitor and go to the neighbor's house (next door) and just bring the receiver end with you. Most of them are good for across the street or one house over. Play board games or watch a movie with the other couple
- go stargazing
- if you live near a college, go to a lecture or special event of some sort (they are often free or cheap)
STAY HOME
- have a picnic dinner in the living room
- have a picnic in the backyard
- play games together (board games, card games, question/guessing games about each other, etc)
- have another couple over, and play games with them
- borrow a new movie from a friend or neighbor or the library and watch it together
- bake something scrumptious together and feed it to each other
- stargaze from your own yard
- once the kids are in bed, watch a movie together. Make popcorn, make it a special night
- listen to a podcast, broadcast, or other audio something together (we like listening to the Intelligence Squared debates for example)
- give each other massages
- take a bath together
- talk
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Art Imitates Life (as we know it)
Remember how all the buildings in Kotzebue are built on stilts, rather than on foundations (so that the snow can blow through under them rather than piling up)?
Bear has reached the stage where he likes to draw pictures. LOTS of pictures. And he always draws houses on stilts.
He also makes people with ears--they look a bit like monkeys. It's very cute.
Bear has reached the stage where he likes to draw pictures. LOTS of pictures. And he always draws houses on stilts.
He also makes people with ears--they look a bit like monkeys. It's very cute.
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