Celebrating Summer Solstice

 

Background:
Summer Solstice is also known as Litha. This is the time when the Sun God reaches his peak (literally the Sun's apex), and it is also a time when the Goddess shows the fullness and abundance of her pregnancy. It's not a fertility festival in that it's not about sex, but it IS about life, and fullness, and it is a time when we begin to gather the earliest harvest--usually herbs. This time of year is also fishing season.

While many handfastings (similar to betrothals or 'trial marriages') are performed at Beltane, the more serious, permanent marriages are commonly entered into at Litha. As put by one author, the playfulness of Beltane escalates into passion at Midsummer [source]. Thus the Honey Moon, newlywed honeymoons (and mead) are traditional parts of this festival.

In Christian tradition, midsummer (usually June 24) is St John's Day (John the Baptist, Jesus' cousin who was six months older). This is a great time to celebrate baptism, committing oneself to God, or a renewal of those covenants. For those who are LDS and believe that the Aaronic Priesthood was restored through John, then this could be a good time to celebrate the priesthood, including the priesthood holders in our lives (convenient how it's so close to Father's Day huh?).

The God in his wild form (as the Greenman or Horned God) is actually strikingly similar to John the Baptist in some ways, both living in the wilderness, at one with nature, and subsisting on wild foods.

Fairies are also abroad at Litha.



Symbols:

• Sun colors--red, orange, and yellow
• The Greenman, Horned God, Pan (god of nature), satyrs, fairies
• firebird/phoenix, dragon

Foods:

• early harvest berries, vegetables, or fruits
• food cooked outside--grilled or cooked in a fire
• herbs 
• herbal teas
• honey or mead
• fish (the salmon are running here)
• bread or cookies in sun shapes
• anything yellow, orange, round, or otherwise sun-like

Activities:

• gather and dry herbs
• hold a BBQ or bonfire with friends
• go camping
• go on a picnic
• talk about baptism
• swim or play in water (particularly rivers) in mindfulness of baptism
• talk about priesthood
• give priesthood blessings to each family member
• go wildcrafting (collecting wild plants for domestic use, whether as food, medicine, or decoration). For example, collect dandelions and make chains from the blossoms, and/or make medicinal tea from the roots.
• get up at sunrise and stay up till sunset, enjoying the longest day of the year

Resources:

• Asiya's Shadows article (extremely informational)
• Witchvox article (long and dense, but lots of info also)
• Celtic Connection article (brief and basic)

Letters

The earliest letter I had from my cousin was when she was in second grade, so I must have been about 6 myself. Those early exchanges consisted of so few sentences that they probably scarcely justified a stamp (even though it was only 25cents!).
When I was 7, her family visited ours, and I remember spending half the week creating a secret language together which we subsequently used in our letters.
We wrote regularly--usually exchanging every month or so--until we both got to college. During high school our letters regularly reached 2-3 full pages (mine handwritten on college-ruled paper, hers typed). In college the letters slowed, and gradually transferred to sporadic emailing. But for over a decade we had written regularly.


By middle school I had two other pen-pals as well, and while the letter exchanges with them were never as frequent as with my cousin, we still wrote for years.


In high school I began corresponding with another cousin. He was my first male correspondent, and I don't know if it was a product of age or maturity or what, but we were both shy and writing to each other not only gave us a source for mutual encouragement in that matter (and a resource for trying to begin to understand the opposite sex!), but also gave us a chance to get to know each other. We had always lived several states apart, and had never really gotten to know each other. Those letters continued sporadically though his foreign mission (those 80 cent stamps got expensive, not to mention the slow transit time for international mail).

Through high school and college I kept a journal too. A lengthy, rambling, emotionally volatile thing. I still have those volumes, though I'm not certain what good they are doing me. I shared them with my husband when we were engaged, but he didn't get very far through them...they are just too loooong.


While I was in college I wrote faithfully for over a year to a dear friend on his mission. He was serving within the United States, and we exchanged letters weekly. The letters were long, often several typewritten pages. I remember perfuming one so that he could brag to his companion about it. My roommate was also writing to a missionary, but he did not write nearly so often, and I often hid my letters from her to spare here feelings because she always got depressed that I got more (and better) letters than she did. This missionary and I had started as just friends, but over the months and letter by letter we became very close. The timing was such that I ended up getting engaged before he came home, but had I not, I am sure I'd have dated him when he got home, and I would likely have married him.

My husband and I met online, and for 8 or 9 months we had a long-distance relationship. Even the first two months of our engagement were long-distance. We had lots of late night phone calls and instant-messaging conversations, but we also wrote emails. 


I don't maintain very regular correspondence with anyone now. My family all emails each other fairly regularly. Each of my siblings has served foreign missions and been allowed the use of email, so there's a weekly email from whomever is on a mission, and both of my parents write most weeks. One of my sisters (or her husband) still sends a family email every week, just like when she was on the mission.


A lot of my thoughts end up on my blog now, rather than in personal letters or in a journal. But writing continues to be a regular part of my life. I am glad that it is so.☺

Daughters of Mormonism

I made my podcast debut this week
over at

My introductory interview is here (it's about an hour long).

In the interest of full disclosure, the interview does include my talking about my good girl syndrome, my miscarriages, and my integrated pagan-flavored mormonism. So if those topics trouble you, or if you don't want your kids to hear me talking about sex (albeit non-graphically), then get out headphones or something.

Moving to the Bush (again)

These plans have been in the works for a while, but since nothing was set in stone I didn't want to broadcast too much or too early. However, Hubby has a job for this fall and we will be moving to Kotzebue this summer. Yes, I am now again revealing the actual city we live in. If you go look at the map, you will see why I am comfortable telling the world where we're going: if someone wants to steal a kid they don't go do it in Koztebue!

So, first things first. It's pronounced "cots-ih-biew" (rhymes with 'view'), but most folks seem to call it "Kotz." There are about 3500 people, so it is similar in size to where we've been the last two years. I have had mixed feelings about returning to the bush, but I know that this will not be like living in Pelican. Kotz has 3 planes a day (jets!), so the hit-or-miss seaplanes will not be an issue. There will be mail in and out every day. There is a grocery store (which is open regularly, and well-stocked, in spite of milk being $11/gallon). We initially found it difficult to find a place to rent that was large enough for us (3 bedrooms) and also would allow us to bring our dog--for a while we thought we might have to leave her with a foster family for the year--but we did finally find a little house and we're very excited about it. We hope to be getting things signed on that soon.

In the meantime, as we've made our plans for moving, we ended up deciding to all drive 'down south' (the lower 48) to replace the roof on our house in Utah, and then to take our van to my folks in Washington. We won't be taking the van to Kotz, and leaving it with my folks seemed like the best option because they can get some use out of it. But we have to get it down there! It will be a very fast trip, considering the milage involved, but that's how the schedule had to play out. SO instead of having two months to get everything together and ready to go, we have  closer to one, AND in addition to packing for moving, I also need to do the sorting of packing for a family trip. We're getting rid of lots of things as well...plus for some reason I'm expected to continue to feed everybody and keep up with laundry during all of this. Whose idea was that anyway?!
Furthermore, once we get to Kotz it will likely be a couple of weeks before we have things like internet all set up...because that's just how life goes, you know?
So if I don't post much over the coming couple of months, now you know why.☺

Delayed/Selective Vaccination and Mormon Missions

After the school question, this is usually the next one (at least from LDS parents):

So I'm homeschooling, or filing an exemption for my child to attend public school...but what about going on a mission? The church wants missionaries to have a bunch of vaccinations too...

Again there are a couple of options.

Firstly, there are some people who truly cannot be vaccinated. If they have certain allergies (dairy or eggs for example) then they are healthy enough to serve a mission, but cannot receive vaccinations because there is dairy and/or egg in most vaccines. For these individuals, they can still serve missions, but will most likely stay in the USA for their mission. A non-allergic individual who has simply opted-out of vaccinations would have this same option--to just stay 'stateside.' Many people are entirely comfortable with this.

If you are comfortable with vaccination, and simply didn't want to inject too much into a small child, then you have the option to get the vaccines at an older age. This is the route I intend to go with my children. I think that getting a whole bunch of shots in the last 6 months before a mission is equally inappropriate to getting a whole bunch of shots at once with an infant, so I would again spread it across a few years. When each child is in their mid-teens, I will discuss with them about missions and vaccines and inquire as to how they want to proceed. If they are comfortable with being limited in where they might go, I'm ok with that. If they want to keep the foreign/third world country door open, then we would set up a schedule to get the remaining 'required' vaccinations over the high school years. (And another reminder--keep your own records of all the vaccines your kids get and when they get them!)

Delayed/Selective Vaccination and Public School Attendance

Recently I got this comment on my Hep B post:

We avoided this one with our newborn, and I want to continue to avoid it. But if it's required for school entrance, at what point should we have it done so we won't have issues with the school nurse in five years? 

(image source)

Well, there are two answers to that question, and it depends on what your longer-term vaccination plans are. Are you a delayed vaccinator? Or are you a selective vaccinator?

If you are simply a delayed vaccinator, and plan to get all the shots but on a delayed schedule, then you simply spread the vaccines across 5 years rather than doing them all in 2 years (which is what the recommended schedule says). You have twice as long, so you can spread them out easily. Utilize a public health clinic to get the 'off-schedule' shots, or you can do what I do and take multiple children every time one of them has a doctor's appointment, and get shots for everybody even if it's not "their" appointment. (My doctor has been great about this.)
In this case, of course, by the time the child is school-aged, they have had all the 'required' shots for school, and there are no hassles.

Please note--keep your own records of your kids' vaccinations.  Many medical offices will give you a little card to track them, and that works fine, but if you don't have a card then make some kind of chart. You should have your own records and not just rely on what the doctor has in their office. For one thing, the 'recommended schedule' has more injections than what is actually required by the state or school (for example, for polio the CDC says that a child needs 3 injections, with the final one being after age 4. However the typical state schedule says to do 3 injections plus an additional one after age 4. I choose to spare my kids that extra shot!) You need to have your own records so that you can determine which shots to get for your child and when to get them. If you leave it up to your doctor, they will likely try to pressure you into getting "caught up" and/or getting more shots than you truly need.
So I'll repeat myself: keep your own records, make your own choices about what to get and when to get it. Take responsibility for your child(ren)'s health, don't leave it up to someone else. ☺

In the United States, if you are a selective vaccinator or a non-vaccinator, then you will have a different issue if you want your children to attend public school. It depends a little on how selective you are. The list of "recommended" vaccinations is far longer than the list of "required for school" vaccinations. If you get the required ones then you'll still be fine. But, if you opt out of some of those (such as the Hep B), then you will need to do a little extra paperwork in order to keep out of fights with the school nurse.
That extra paperwork comes in the form of claiming an exemption and putting it on file with the school.
The exemption filing process varies from state to state, however you can look it up online. You can also ask at your doctor's office or your local public health office, but they may not be very friendly about it...I recommend starting online (and the Mothering.com forums are a great place to start, I would go to "find your tribe" and find your region and then ask there for pointers about what to do for your area).
In some places you can just do it once, I believe in other places you may need to re-file for each school year. There should not be a fee associated with it, but I think I heard that in some places there is. I've never had to pay one so I'm not sure.
And how does an exemption work? Simple, you put it on file with your school, and your kids attend. IF (and only if) there is an outbreak of something your child hasn't been vaccinated for (measles, pertussis, etc), then you will be asked to keep your child home from school for the duration of the outbreak. That's all.

There are three types of exemptions: medical, religious, and personal/philosophical, but not all are available in all states. Every state has to allow medical exemptions for children who have certain allergies or who are immuno-compromised. A medical exemption has to be signed by your doctor, stating why the child is exempted. I believe that all states also have to allow the religious exemption, because otherwise it would be discrimination. This is just a matter of printing off the form and signing it and turning in a copy to the school. The personal or philosophical exemption is only available in some states, but essentially it says "we don't believe in or don't want vaccinations [for whatever reason, we don't have to tell anybody why]" and, like the religious exemption, you just fill out the form, sign it, and turn it in to the school. In some states you may need to have it notarized.
For those who are choosing selective vaccination (or non-vaccination) for personal reasons rather than medical, this can become sticky if you are in a state which only allows medical or religious exemptions. I, personally, still feel comfortable with claiming a religious exemption. My religion is not opposed to vaccination, but it does teach that we should "search, ponder, and pray" when making decisions. My research, thought, and prayer over my family's health has led me to the decision to vaccinate selectively. I suppose not everyone would feel comfortable with that reasoning, but I do.

So that's how we work it out with delayed/selective vaccination and public school attendance. Of course, a lot of folks who opt out of mainstream vaccination practices also opt out of mainstream educational practices, and homeschooling doesn't have any vaccination requirements either way. ☺

Thoughts

"The truth will set you free, but first it will shatter the safe, sweet way you live."

~Sue Monk Kidd (Dance of the Dissident Daughter, 15)

"I think my soul knows some things that my mind is still grappling with"

~Dryad (yes, she's a real person and a dear friend of mine)

New Designs

So, I've updated the look of my blog. For those of you who read via google reader or emails, come on over and take a look. I really like it. :)

Myth and Truth

I associate with a number of people who are intellectuals, questioners, or who are involved in the field of theology in general or mormon studies in specific. Some of these people are deeply committed to the LDS church, and others find their faith wavering or changing. There is (so they tell me) archaeological and DNA evidence that indicates that the Book of Mormon isn't a historical document. There are contemporary accounts that conflict with the way Joseph Smith said things happened during his visions, translations, and revelations. There is also a whole lot in the Bible that seems pretty far fetched if we're supposed to accept every word of that as historical fact too. These incongruities cause a trial of faith for many and a loss of faith for some.

But not for me.

The reason why is simple: I have come to the conclusion that it doesn't matter if these things are factual, or if they are stories (myths), because they can still be true.

Yes, you read that correctly:  fact =/= truth

A myth is not true because it is factual, but because it is meaningful.

Take Job. Do you really think that God and Satan made a bet? Really? I can go along with someone being faithful through enormous difficulty, but the betting part? That never sat very well with me. (And did Satan visit Heaven or did God visit hell do you suppose? Or did they have a bookie somewhere in the middle?)
What about Jonah? Swallowed by a fish? How about the post-fish part, where he was sitting on the hilltop waiting for Ninevah to be destroyed, and the vine grew to shade him (in one afternoon?), and then a worm (one worm?!) came and ate the whole vine (in the same afternoon?)  Yes, I believe in miracles...but I'm inclined to say that this one is probably a myth. There is a valuable lesson in the story of Jonah, and actually, because of the unbelievability of it, I think it might be better if taken as a parable. Because if we take it as a parable, then we stop saying "oh that poor guy, stuck in a fish" and instead we say "what is my fish? What is catching my attention to point me toward what I should be doing?" In other words, when we hear parables, we skip the "history lesson" part and move right into the "liken it to myself" part. Which I think is the more important part anyway.

I found an excerpt from CS Lewis and JRR Tolkien that I think expresses this best:

Myths, Lewis told Tolkien, were "lies and therefore worthless."

"No," Tolkien replied. "They are not lies." Far from being lies they are the best way — sometimes the only way — of conveying truths that would otherwise remain inexpressible. We have come from God, and inevitably the myths woven by us, though they contain error, reflect a splintered fragment of the true light, the eternal truth that is with God. Myths may be misguided, but they steer however shakily toward the true harbor.

And so I am comfortable with following in a faith, even though there are some things that may appear problematic. In many things I am a literal believer, but I'm also ok with  trusting that some things might just be parables, and that they are still useful and valuable and, in fact, TRUTHful, even if they are not factual.
That has been very freeing, and helped me maintain faith in the midst of the many conflicting and confusing messages out there.




(My thanks to the several friends, particularly Jared and Genevieve, who helped me sort all this out.)

25 Manners Every Kid Should Know by Age 9?

I saw this link shared on facebook recently:
25 Manners Every Kid Should Know by Age 9
I thought oh cool, someone out there saying that our kids should actually have manners! My husband and I both are regularly upset by the rudeness that we see among young people toward their teachers, parents, and friends. It's disgusting.
But then I went and actually read the list at the link.
And I was not happy folks.

Some of the manners are good:  
When asking for something, say "Please." (#1)
When receiving something, say "Thank you." (#2)
Knock on closed doors -- and wait to see if there's a response -- before entering (#10) (I  have a couple of kids who need to work on this one...then again, daddy and mommy need to work on this one too, so it's no wonder is it?!)

Others of the manners were also good in theory, but were a little overdone, such as #19 (As you walk through a door, look to see if you can hold it open for someone else.) Sure, that's nice, but is it essential? I don't really think so.
Or #16 (Even if a play or an assembly is boring, sit through it quietly and pretend that you are interested. The performers and presenters are doing their best.) I would have said that you should sit still and quiet and not be disruptive of others, but if you're bored, I honestly don't care if you pretend to pay attention. Just don't distract anyone else, and don't say anything rude afterward.
And how about #24 (Keep a napkin on your lap; use it to wipe your mouth when necessary.) Um, I don't put a napkin in my lap unless I'm at a restaurant. Actually, I keep a damp washcloth at the table--I use it for the baby, and anyone else is welcome to use it for messy fingers too. At the end of dinner, we wash our hands in the sink when we clear our plates. Honestly? Napkins in laps for children under 9? Who wrote this?!

Finally, though, were a few items on the list that I found deeply troubling. It's not because the advice was bad per se, but it was either patronizing to the child, or didn't give the child respect equal to an adult. As my readers know, I have a real problem with both of those things. Here are the two that most particularly bothered me:
#3 Do not interrupt grown-ups who are speaking with each other unless there is an emergency. They will notice you and respond when they are finished talking.

Do I like interrupting? No. But this is something that needs to be taught by example. The wording of "do not interrupt grown-ups" makes it very clear that grown-ups conversations get precedent over young people's conversations. They should not. They should be equal. I think it's appropriate for an adult to say "just a minute" and I think it's appropriate for a child to wait a minute for the adult to finish what they are saying...but it is plain old rude for an adult to ramble on and ignore a child who is standing there clearly wanting to say something. AND, it's equally appropriate for an adult to wait a minute for a child to finish what they are saying, and so on.
#6 The world is not interested in what you dislike. Keep negative opinions to yourself, or between you and your friends, and out of earshot of adults.
Pardon me, I just threw up a little bit. (Oh, wait, was that a negative opinion?!) Just that first sentence gives one message loud and clear "the world is not interested in you or what you think." I find that deeply offensive. Do we or do we not want to teach our children to respect others? Do we or do we not want our children to develop confidence in themselves? Trust of their own abilities and feelings? Don't ever tell my kid that the world is not interested in him! Go ahead and tell him that you have different preferences, or even that you're not interested in a specific topic. That's ok. That's opinion. But don't tell him that his interests and opinions are invalid!  And as for the negativity, I always start by telling my kids that you can't have an opinion about a thing unless you are educated about it. If it's a food, you can't dislike it until you've eaten some. If it's a book, you can't be uninterested until you've read a few chapters. If it's an activity, try it before you decide to hate it. I don't generally force them to try things, incidentally (I do encourage, but not force), they're just not allowed to voice an opinion if they haven't tried it. I also ask my kids to not speak negative opinions in front of siblings who might be influenced by it (ie, Bear learns to hate tomatoes because Wolf says they're gross). But if my son wants to come to me privately and express his frustration or dislike about something, he is entitled to do that. Everyone is entitled to an (informed) opinion, and if my kids can't share with me, who can they share with?!


To end on a better note, I also read a great parenting blog post this week: Ten Ways to Confuse a Child. Go check it out. ☺
Also, I've added a section to my "my parenting philosophy" index page, so now as well as linking to the many posts that I have written, it also has links to outside posts and articles that I thought were particularly good.