Things I ♥ about my Honey

• Seeing him read with the boys and snuggle them at bedtime
• He was excited to catch our babies as they were born
• He is supportive of me, even in my wilder ideas
• The way he insists on taking me out or getting me little presents, even though I tell him I don't really need it
• His teaching me to be more spontaneous
• His dimple (just one!) and the fact that he gave dimples to some of the kids
• His curly hair
• His gorgeous blue eyes
• He works hard to provide for the family
• He likes to tell other people how cool I am, or how neat something I made is
• He's a good cook too, and likes to take his turn in the kitchen
• He's a careful thinker, and has opened my eyes and gotten me thinking on a number of topics (political, social, moral, and philosophical) over the years.
• He loves me, even on the days when I'm not terribly lovable

 

I had to take digital photos of the prints in our wedding album because we didn't have any photos of just us together (we had a few family shots but that's it). 

♥ Happy Valentines Day Honey ♥

Little things I ♥ that make me happy

• The bubbles that show that my yeast/water mixture is growing and ready to be added to the bread dough.
• Putting a diaper on my baby and knowing that *I* made it.
• Watching any member of my family use or wear something that I made for them.
• Holding an armful of warm, clean, soft cloth diapers straight from the dryer.
• Baby smiles
• Toddler laughs
• Hugs from my kids
• Cuddles with my Honey
• When my Hubby says "It's your call, I'll support whatever you want to do" ♥
• The smell of bread baking, and eating freshly-baked bread
• The sense of accomplishment when I finish something--making a meal, baking bread, sewing or knitting something, etc.
• Hearing that someone loved something I made for them (whether it was a business transaction or a gift).
• Using my glass bowls & pans, bamboo cutting boards, stainless steel utensils, pans & measuring cups, wooden spoons, or other quality kitchen tools that my Hubby has been giving me at almost every birthday and Christmas since we got married.
• Using my bernina sewing machine. Having a good quality tool makes the work so much nicer.
• Using my knitpicks options knitting needles.
• Going to unload the dishwasher and discovering that someone else did it for me.
• Waking up and realizing that I've just slept for 4 continuous hours.
• Getting comments on my blog posts.

Some things I ♥ about living in Alaska

• The Permenant Fund Dividends 
• The way that most folks here walk to their own beat
• The way that most folks here are comfortable with everyone else walking to their own beat too
• Many of my 'hippie' ways (such as unmedicated childbirthing) are common
• That most everybody has a dog that's a member of the family, and therefore most hotels allow dogs
• The government here mostly has a 'hands-off' attitude
• The way that the rest of the country forgets we are here and leaves us alone
• No state income tax
• It's actually possible for a family to live on a teacher's income here
• Awesome berries
• Huge vegetables (thank you midnight sun!)
• The midnight sun
• The northern lights
• The wintertime sunrises (which aren't until 9am so I get to see every one of them) (photo taken from my porch)

• The way that people take care of each other
• Knitting is a worthwhile endeavor here because we can wear our nice wool sweaters 11 months of the year
• Living on the Last Frontier--one of those rare places that actually still has wilderness
• The views (first photo taken from my porch again, the other an hour from here)

What I ♥ about Breastfeeding

• It releases oxytocin which helps the uterus clamp down after birth, drastically reducing the likelihood of postpartum hemorrhage.
• Oxytocin is the 'love' hormone--it helps facilitate the bond between mother and child, as well as making her feel warm fuzzies.
• That it's convenient--always available, never left behind, always the right temperature, always enough.
• It's ready right now, no making a hungry baby wait.
• It's FREE!
• It's easy at night. 
• Breastfed babies don't have nasty or stinky diapers.
• That it's the perfect nourishment for a child. 
• The supply adjusts to the baby's suckling--so I have more when he's in a growth spurt, and less when he's not, and I don't have to try to figure out which phase we're in because it happens automatically.
• That the nutrients adjust to the needs of my child as he grows and changes. 
• That it bolsters the baby's immune system by sharing my antibodies.
• That it delays the resumption of my menstruation.
• It lowers my risk of breast cancer.
• It lowers my childrens' risk of breast cancer and other cancers, including leukemia.
• That 'nursing' is so much more than just feeding my child at my breast--it is developing a relationship of attachment and love.

Eagle at about a week old
See his little hand holding on? 
Even then he knew what the good stuff was!

You might also enjoy TopHat's "Top Ten Cool Things about Breastmilk"

What we ♥ about cloth diapering

In honor of Valentine's Day, this week I am posting a few "why I love ____" lists. Starting today is cloth diapers--this was collected from the mamas on the etsy cloth diaper team--a list of why we (as cloth diaper makers) love using cloth diapers for our little ones. ("LilBees" is me)

We love...

• Knowing that my baby is comfortable in soft fabric rather than rough paper or sticky plastic. (LilBees)
• How soft they are on my babies bum. (PudderPals) 
• Two words: "Bamboo velour." If you've ever touched it you understand! (LilBees)
• That they aren't made of paper products ☺(Suzanne'sSpecialKids) 
• That they are not crinkly or smell like fake baby powder (WinkyDinks)
• That they don't smell like chemicals when they pee in cloth diapers. (LittleMooseDiapers)
• That I can use the same diaper over and over, even for multiple kids. (LilBees)
• That they are a conversation starter (WinkyDinks)
• How cute they are - its another part of their outfit (WinkyDinks) 
• How cute and fluffy it makes my little one's bum. (PudderPals)
• Having something cute on their buns ☺ Disposables are not cute... (3MonkeysClothDiapers)
• That I get to be creative and make whatever I think is cute into a butt cover to use over and over and over...(Chelory Boutique)
• Having a favorite diaper, and getting to use it over and over and over... (LilBees)
• Being able to pick and choose which cute item they'll be wearing on their bum! (LittleMooseDiapers)
• That they like their diapers and choose which one they want to wear next. (3MonkeysClothDiapers)
• That even though my diapers are OSFM (one-size-fits-most) the absorbency isn't. I can have light absorbency one day and then bump it up the next. (PudderPals)
• That it doesn't matter if the baby pees/poops mere seconds after I put on a new dipe because I can just toss it in the wash, I'm not out 50cents for 5 seconds of use. (LilBees)
• That since I have twins, can I just tell you how much money I have saved by cloth diapering???? (3MonkeysClothDiapers)
• That since I've had one or another in diapers for the last 3 years, with another one coming soon...all the money we've saved has allowed me to stay home with the children! (LittleMooseDiapers)
• That I don't ever run out of diapers! (PudderPals)
  
• That I don't have to plan ahead to make sure that I never run out of diapers...if I'm running low I just throw them in the wash. ( LilBees)
• That they can be made to look like real undies (Suzanne'sSpecialKids)
• That they can be completely customized for my special needs child (Suzanne'sSpecialKids)
• That they add a bit of "typical" to a special child's life ☺(Suzanne'sSpecialKids)
• That I have made my children's diapers with my own hands...there is a sense of independence and accomplishment in that. (LittleMooseDiapers)
• I am always super proud to say, yes I made that!! (3MonkeysClothDiapers)

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

The most simple, most basic philosophy behind my parenting beliefs comes down to one word: respect.
I believe that every person, regardless of age, is a child of God and worthy of respect. My children have been sent to me for instruction and guidance and love, but not as pets. They are my equals as people, even if they are currently behind me in the progression of education (which, as many parents can tell you, is a questionable assumption anyway).
As John Holt said "be wary of saying or doing anything to a child that you would not do to another adult..."
So today I'm just sharing a little list of some specific ways that I try to practice respectful parenting.

• There are foods I don't like, so it should be ok that there are foods that my kids don't like. (They aren't allowed to have an opinion about a food until they have tried it, but once they have given it a chance, then it's ok to conclude that they don't like it, and I won't make them "eat just one bite" every time.)
  
• I try to avoid patronizing phrases like "What do you say dear" or "because I'm the mom that's why" (although I firmly believe in teaching my children manners, I do so by example or the occasional "please say 'please.'" Just now as I was typing my toddler asked me to kiss something better, then said "sank oo, sank oo, sank oo!")
  
• When applicable, I apologize to my child (eg: "I'm sorry that I yelled at you Wolf. I was very frustrated that you did XYZ, because it's not acceptable for you to do that, but I am sorry that I yelled. I will work on responding more gently, I need you to please work on XYZ...")
• I expect my child to respond when I call him, but "just a second, mom" is a valid response (after all, I say it to him too).
• It is always ok to ask "why" in our house. As in, "why do I have to brush my teeth every night?" or "why is my bedtime earlier than yours and dads?" or "why do I have to do ____ that you just asked me to?" Depending on what they were asked to do, they may need to hurry and get it done (taking the dog out for example) and THEN I will answer the question. But I think it is always valid for a child to ask a question. For one thing it helps him develop good habits for the right reasons (ie, we brush our teeth to keep them clean and to avoid cavities, not just because mom says so).
  
• Another reason that I like questions is that they help me to question myself--is this an unfair request/demand I am making of him? Is this something necessary, or is it just convenient for me, or is it just habit for me? For example Wolf dislikes the transition of having to change his clothing. So he rarely wears pajamas--most nights he just sleeps in the t-shirt (and sometimes even jeans) that he plans to wear the following day. He says he is comfortable, it spares him a bothersome transition, and hey, why should I really care what he sleeps in, so long as he is warm enough?

For what it's worth, I find that children are little sponges. Whatever kind of behavior they see and experience is the type of behavior that they then practice. Therefore I think that one of the best ways to have respectful kids is not treat them with Machiavellian domination, but rather to respect them first.

The Sound of Silence...and the Stillness of Noise

Last night after the bigger boys were in bed (and the baby was mellow), Hubby said "did you want to do something tonight? We like to get TV series' from netflix, and we often watch an episode or two of something together after the kids are in bed. However, last night we were in that in-between stage where we had finished our current disc but had not received the next one yet.
I glanced at the clock, and noted that it was just a little after 9pm. "We could go to bed I suppose," I said, "but I admit I like to sit up for a little while and enjoy the quiet of the kids being asleep."
Hubby started laughing. "Funny that you should say that you want to enjoy the quiet," he said, "when you just started that noisy dryer."

It got me to thinking about how "quiet" and "stillness" are not necessarily synonymous with "silence." The people who make those white noise CDs for sleeping have known this for a while. Sometimes true silence leaves our minds too busy as they try to fill the void with something--anything. But we can have internal calm and quiet amid quite a few decibels.
I think that God's command to "be still" does not necessarily require us to sit motionless. Sure, there is something to be gained from silent meditation, but even in the midst of busy kids and buzzing home appliances, I can have peace in my mind and my soul.

Friday Feel Up

First Friday of the month
Breast self exam time
Give yourself a good grope. ☺

Innocense...Lost (repost)

Originally published Feb 2, 2009
I recently ran across this post and decided it was worth a re-post.

Recently as I've been writing about my miscarriages again, it's gotten me to thinking about loss of innocence. Not in the dirty sense (geeze, what do you take me for?!), but in the sense of a specific event that was a turning point--a point at which you changed, and could never go back to who you had been before. An event that made you older in a way that the simple passage of time cannot.

For my mother it was losing her baby to SIDS. It's easy to pinpoint if you look at photographs--in that year her face aged. She began to get wrinkles. Her eyes showed that she knew something more. Her body lost it's youthful resilience. She looked more tired.
One might credit those changes to the fact that she had 4 other small children, or that she turned 30 that year, or that after a 5th pregnancy the body just doesn't bounce back so well anymore... but I can attest that it was not those things; it was the loss of innocence. I know, because my loss of innocence occurred when I was only 22; it was my first miscarriage.

What was yours?
Or are you still innocent?

Why I Nurse in Public

Since posting about my breastfeeding in church dilemma, I have been thinking a great deal about why I nurse in public, and about why I have always done so without a cover.

I nurse in public because I believe strongly that breastfeeding needs to be normal, and therefore needs to be accepted. I want to nurse in places where people will see me doing so, and will know what I am doing. I strongly believe in normalizing breastfeeding, and also in the good that I can do by being an example to other mothers and future mothers--and their husbands and sons.

With that said, I am a pretty modest person. I have never wanted to be flashing breast at anybody. I have always tried to keep my skin to myself when nursing in public, and used walls, layered clothing, and the baby's body as shields. I have used the tail of my sling a few times too. The reason I nurse without a blanket is that blankets are a hassle--they are heavy, stifling, and slip off.
On this topic, my dad shared this thought:
"I was always taught that modesty, and manners, are the art of making the next person comfortable. If the crowd is comfortable naked, then I guess naked is modest. But the principle is probably to do what the leaves the best taste in the audience's mouth, unless it contravenes God's commandments, and then to follow God."
 There is nothing like a blanket over your shoulder to shout "hey everybody, I'm nursing over here!" So in the interest of modesty (of not attracting undue attention), I felt that uncovered nursing was my best option.

I am now finding that perhaps my 'no cover' standard is in need of review. Bear loved nursing, held on with gusto, and was easy to nurse without much ongoing attention from me. I could get him latched on and then arrange my clothing so that nothing really showed. Eagle, on the other hand, is somewhat of a 'lazy' nurser--which is to say that he often loosens his latch on me, causing him to slip out to the end of the nipple. Sometimes he lets go altogether which generally results in a wild spray of milk in his face and/or down my shirt and/or across the room. Often he is distracted and tries to look around, sometimes he just seems bored with nursing. Regardless, I can't just hook him on and go, I usually need to make frequent re-adjustments, which requires me to use both hands and be able to see what I am doing. Even if I'd started with a blanket, and even if I tried really hard to pull it back into place regularly, it is quite inevitable that I'd still be flashing people. But even when I stick to my old standard--wearing layers and nursing without a blanket--I am finding that I'm not able to be so modest as I'd like to be.

So I am seriously considering purchasing a nursing cover. I am realizing that it fulfills both my goals--being very public about nursing, and keeping my skin to myself. Yes, it is one more thing to carry around, but who are we kidding, I already carry a diaper bag pretty much everywhere anyway. And as one of my always-used-to-nurse-uncovered-but-recently-converted-to-covers friends pointed out "I don't have to worry about pulling the whole breast out while I nurse...I use my cover now because it is convenient for ME. It is cool, covers me like a tent, and lets me nurse while enjoying sacrament and letting my baby get a nice little break. My stress level is lower. I can wear a wider variety of clothing. I don't have to layer as much. And, if I forget it, no big deal. I whip the boob out and no one is surprised."
There are several etsians who make nice covers with a stiff bit of boning around the top so that it stands out, allowing mom to see the baby while still keeping everybody covered. Sure, I could make something like that, but I'd have to buy special materials for it, so I'd just as soon get it from someone else.

<--- I kinda like this one. Nothing like a camo nursing cover to say "you can't see me, but you know I'm nursing over here!"

What do you think?



Dad did conclude with the comment "I guess you need to cover up, or move to Latin America or Eastern Europe, where folks are either more enlightened, or less inhibited."
Who's up for Norway?☺ heeheehee