Weekend Fragments

Liz over at Eternal Lizdom does "Friday Fragments" where she publishes a post full of little things--events from her week or random thoughts that have been on her mind--not things that go together usually, just a bunch of stuff...
Today's post is something like that;
only not on a Friday.

~♥~☻~♥~☻~♥~☻~♥~

Tuesday night Wolf was horsing around with my exercise ball (aka birth ball) and tossed it through the air in my bedroom, resulting in a collision between ball and overhead light...light cover is shattered, ball is punctures, and he got a pretty good gash in his side (it bled a lot but was minor enough that a couple of bandaids sufficed).
I was admittedly more than a bit frustrated, partly because of standard rules like "you have a playroom and a bedroom, so don't play in mom and dad's room" and also "the exercise ball is not a toy," but most especially because he did almost exactly the same thing (tossed a basketball and busted a light) when he was 3, and THAT incident resulted in a trip to the emergency room and 8 stitches between his eyes. He seems determined to be a "school of hard knocks" kid though. I guess it's teaching me the virtue of patience.

~♥~☻~♥~☻~♥~☻~♥~

Thursday night Hubby was base jumping bowling goofing off with a couple of his players after basketball practice and he busted his ankle. At the time he thought it was just a twist or a sprain, so we iced it and he put it up...but Friday morning it was still extremely painful. The school athletic director taped it for him and lent him a pair of crutches and I took him in for an x-ray. It's a spiral fracture to the fibula (if you're like me and forget which is which, the fibula is the smaller bone on the back which facilitates movement of the ankle and foot). The break is just above the ankle, but thankfully all the ligaments and tendons in the actual ankle are intact, so it's not nearly as bad as it could have been. So now he's got crutches and an inflatable boot/cast thingie and he's going nuts. Our apartment is accessed via an exterior staircase, which is more than a little hassle for him. The doctor wants to see him back in just 2 weeks though, which is promising. Hopefully he'll be healed sooner rather than later. In the meantime he can't move very fast, and it's hard for him to drive so I'm doing a lot of shuttling.
Once again I am very thankful for insurance, and reaffirm my belief that everyone should have a right to free (or at least affordable) medical care.

~♥~☻~♥~☻~♥~☻~♥~

Friday we got paid. This always makes me happy, because it's a once-a-month thing, and so payday means that I get to get caught up on all the bills and go grocery shopping (which, yes, I do 80+% of my grocery shopping in a once-a-month trip). The last week or so it had really felt like I was "cookin somethin outta nuthin" every day...but no more! Hubby is particularly happy to have meat in the house again, as I tend to use a lot of beans and lentils when we get to the 'nuthin' stage.
I also have to boast just a little bit. Safeway has an endearing practice of putting how much you saved at the bottom of your reciept--both in dollar amount and in percentage. I aim for saving at least 20%. This week's reciept (remember this is most of my shopping for the month) I saved 32%. Oh yeah, that's how I like it to look!! ☺

~♥~☻~♥~☻~♥~☻~♥~

Eagle has sniffles and Bear has an ugly cough. Thursday night I was up with one or the other about 6 times, so it was no shock that by Friday afternoon I wasn't feeling well either. All the running around for Hubby's busted leg didn't help, but both the kiddos were great little troopers. (Wolf was at school through most of it, but has been a great help at home ☺)
Eagle has been nursing a lot so I'm a bit engorged again as my supply surges to keep up with his needs. Friday night I tucked blankets around his carseat (to make it stable) and put him in there to sleep so that he'd be more upright and be able to breathe better, but I still ended up needing to take him into the bathroom to steam him out around 1am and again around 6. The upside is that since we were up anyway, I gave him a chance over the toilet, and he had no hesitation putting something in on both occasions--and had an almost perfectly dry diaper in the morning! It seems that he doesn't like being wet any more than I like letting him be wet. I was pleased when Bear toilet-taught himself at 24 months, but if things continue like this Eagle may well be months ahead of his brother.

Frugal Friday--cleaning up

Household cleaning chemicals are expensive and (as research continues to verify) they may not all be as safe as we've been told! Here are some cheaper alternatives.

BAKING SODA

• I use an old parmesan cheese shaker to store/dispense the baking powder. I pretty much use it anywhere I want something 'scrubby' or mildly abrasive...tub, sink, oven, you name it. It does tend to leave some residue (as most powdered cleaners do) so you have to rinse really well.
• A great deodorizer/odor-absorber, I use it in my diaper pail, or sprinkle a little on musty carpet, let it sit a few minutes, then vacuum it up.
• Good for clogged drains (see below)
  
• Baking soda is also a main component of homemade laundry detergent.
  

VINEGAR

• I use a spray bottle for the vinegar (which I usually blend with water). This is what I use in place of most spray cleaners--in and on the fridge, the stove, and the microwave (when we used to have one). Sinks, counters, and the outside of the toilet.
• Pour a cup or so of straight vinegar into a stained toilet, let it sit for 30 minutes, then scrub and flush and it will get rid of most rings and stains.
• If you have a clogged drain, pack it with baking soda, then pour in vinegar...remember those elementary volcanos? Same thing in your drain...and yes it's effective as well as entertaining.
• Vinegar is a germ-buster and odor-killer too, so I use it in places where I want to disinfect, such as places that have developed mold or mildew.
  
• I am told that you can use vinegar in place of liquid fabric softener--just pour it into the dispenser in your washing machine where the fabric softener would go.
  
• Vinegar does not work so well for windows, just FYI.

SALT

• A great laundry enhancer, salt loosens the fibers of the fabric (without damaging them) allowing the water to flow through and clean them more thoroughly. Adding a little salt to each wash load allows you to use less soap.
• Abrasive, good for things that need to be scrubbed (put some in with your baking soda for scrubbing a grubby tub).
• Does great things for copper--see below
  

LEMON JUICE

• Pour a little lemon juice (with or without water) into a small microwave-safe dish and set it in the microwave on high for a couple of minutes. The humidity it produces will soften any stuck-on stuff so that it's easy to wipe out, plus the lemon scent will freshen it. Lemon juice can be used in place of vinegar for cleaning most things.
• If you have a copper-bottomed pan, sprinkle it with some salt, then a little lemon juice, and scrub with a cloth (the abrasive salt does the actual 'scrubbing) and it will shine that copper right up!

RUBBING ALCOHOL

• Put some on a soft cloth, and it will give you lovely streak-free mirrors and windows.

That's what I know...what do you know?!

History on Film

I saw three fantastic historical movies last year, and wanted to recommend them to you all.
I have to add the disclaimer that they are realistic depictions of the periods/situations in which they take place, and all have some disturbing content/images because of that. These are not children's movies, however, I thought they were excellent, and recommend them.

Glory is the true story of the first colored regiment in the Civil War. A young white officer was assigned to lead them, and he, unlike most of his contemporaries, treated the black soldiers the same as white soldiers. He insisted that his fellow white officers do the same, and also promoted some of the black men to be officers. The higher-ups seemed to see the regiment as laborers --better for clearing roads than for fighting--but the young officer diligently drilled his men and repeatedly requested that he be able to take his men into battle. In the end of course they finally do get to prove themselves in battle...but I won't tell you the ending because of course then you wouldn't need to see it for yourself.


I am not sure if The Great Debaters is a true story or not, but it's a good one regardless. It takes place 90 years later, in Texas, when racial tensions were high and lynchings were commonplace. A debate team from a black university is doing so well that they send a challenge to a local white school. The resulting debate sparks a lot of press--and a lot of tempers. Subsequent white schools refuse their challenges, all except one big school up north...Harvard. The final meeting of course is a thinly veiled debate about racial equality and rights, and presents some powerful, thoughtful arguments for civil disobedience.


Finally, Joyeux Noel (Merry Christmas) is a French-made film about Christmas Eve 1914, when troops from both sides of the warfront left their trenches and joined in 'no man's land' to sing carols and share cigarettes and whiskey. It's not strictly historical, but is based on the actual events, and is a heartwarming and inspiring film.

WFMW: baby cradle cap solution

A lot of babies get cradle cap, which is more or less the same thing as dandruff--flaky skin in their hair (my babies seem to get it in their eyebrows as much as the crown of their heads, go figure!) When Bear was little, I remember having a conversation with another mom who said that her pediatrician recommended a dandruff shampoo for her baby's cradle cap. Well, my husband has a dandruff shampoo, and do you know what the active ingredient is?

Yup, coal tar. I don't know if all of them use the same thing, but this is a pretty high end shampoo, so I'm guessing that most dandruff shampoos have something at least that nasty. I don't want to put that on my baby's head, let alone in his eyebrows!! Especially considering that I don't even use soap on my babies' sensitive skin, but just bathe them with warm water and a washcloth.
Then I remembered that my mom had had a soft plastic brush that she always used to loosen the crud off the baby's head (again just using the gentlness of warm water). So I went hunting for one...I looked in every store in town (and I lived in a big town at the time!) and I was not able to find anything appropriate, so finally I figured out something else:

A soft bristle toothbrush.
I even labeled it so that nobody accidentally scrubs a toilet with it ☺

So that's what works for me! See more "works for me wednesdays" by clicking the icon below.

Twilight--the Singles Ward Edition

one of the funniest things I've seen in ages. (Thanks Nessa!)

Twilight Years from Tom on Vimeo.

(as a note, this will not be nearly as funny if you are not familiar with Twilight and/or mormon culture.)

Two Birthday Cakes

As I mentioned in my goals at the beginning of the year, I decided to make a fun cake for each family member's birthday this year. Today you get to see the first two, since Hubby and Bear's birthdays are less than a week apart (Bear's due date was Hubby's birthday, but he came a few days earlier). ☺

Bear's 3rd Birthday
He requested a "brown cake that I can eat," I decided it should be a big lego:
(The front bumps actually had his name, but I edited it out here...)

Hubby's birthday
A green dragon (green is his favorite color, and his 'wild thing' designation in the family is 'daddy dragon'...also The Green Dragon is the pub that the hobbits always go to in Lord of the Rings, and if that is as significant to you as it is to him, well, then you must be a geek too ☺ )

face and front feet

from the back you can see the lines for the legs and tail...

see, I used a fancy pan so there were layers in the half-dome
mmm, more cream cheese frosting!

Bear said it looked like a turtle. I'm afraid I must concede the point. I had considered making a double batch of cake and doing the tail and legs in 3-D as well as the head, but I decided that an hour was long enough to spend on a cake right now...perhaps when I don't have an infant I will consider spending 4 hours on a cake.

The Wiggly Truth

I'm in a low with body image issues right now.
There, I said it.
In my pre-teens I hated my flat chest.
In my early teens I hated my hair (and the fact that curl + humidity = frizz).
In my later teens (having gained both a chest and some defrizzer and also a slender waist and really hot legs due to some pretty intense ballroom dancing) I finally was happy with my appearance. I stayed pretty happy into my mid 20s. I struggled with other things (like zero dating life and later on multiple miscarriages) but my body looked good even if it didn't seem to be working right. After Bear was born I had a few months of adjusting to my striped and ripply tummy, but I could still squeeze it into the same jeans as before the pregnancy, so I just kept it covered up and went on being happy. But for some reason this time is different.
Maybe it's that it's still less than 3 months since Eagle's birth. Maybe it's that I still have 5 extra lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight (they came off faster last time). Maybe it's that I have more stripes, or more jiggles in my middle than last time. Maybe it's that those breasts I once prayed for are really big and very droopy. Maybe it's that my face is starting to get lines. Maybe it's that I spend all my time being a mommy (changing diapers and doing laundry) and not so much time being a woman (going out with my Hubby or doing much of anything for me).
No, I'm not depressed like I was a year ago, truly I'm not. I'm just struggling with looking in the mirror right now... and because I'm not finding myself attractive, it's hard to believe that anyone else could find me attractive, and of course that opens up a whole other can of worms. But that's not what this post is about. The reason I'm writing this post is just to say yes, even the most confident and happy of women go through periods like this. I love being a mother, truly I do. I have no regrets over choosing motherhood, in spite of the things it does to my body, and I would (and probably will) do it again without hesitation. I know that this season of my life is one for giving--my youth was for me and my old age will be for me again, but right now is my time to create and give. It's just that on some days it's hard. And that's ok.

Dilemma

I believe that everyone has a right to eat the food that is best for them.
I believe that everyone has a right to eat without having to hide the fact that they are doing so.
Therefore, I breastfeed my baby and I don't put a blanket over his head. Blankets are hot and stuffy, and frankly Eagle is still young enough that I frequently need to see him so that I can adjust his latch on my breast (he likes to slide off halfway which leaves him improperly latched and can cause problems for both of us if I leave him that way).
I do make an effort to be discreet when I nurse in public--I typically dress in layers so that I can get out what I need without exposing anything extra. The baby's head and body usually cover most of my exposed parts from any perspective except mine. It's true that I may show a little more skin than I mean to while adjusting the baby or something, but it's not intentional. I really don't want to flash anybody, and as I said, I am trying to be as discreet as I can.

In addition, for those who do see a bit of something, well, I think it is healthy for people (especially young people) to see that a breast's primary purpose is to nourish children. The media is full of breasts, but rarely in as appropriate a context as breastfeeding. A relative once expressed to us that she was uncomfortable about my breastfeeding when her teenage son was in the room, and Hubby looked her in the eye and said "you let him go to PG-13 movies with his friends, trust me he's seen a lot more breast than this, and in less appropriate contexts."
It reminds me of this (double-click to see it larger):

(From Sunstone Magazine, Oct 2007 issue)

Well, a couple of weeks ago I got a phone call from a woman in my ward. She is a friend of mine, and someone whom I respect very much. Apparently some men and/or young men had expressed discomfort about my nursing in Sacrament Meeting. I don't know quite what channels the discussion had gone through (although I suspect that half the ward knows), but the Bishop had made a request (which was assigned to my friend to deliver) that I be given this message from him: "Breastfeeding is a great thing, my wife did it with all our kids, and we certainly don't mind your nursing in church. But some people are uncomfortable with it so could you please use a blanket." My friend went on to state that she was just the messenger, and that she wasn't going to tell me what I should or shouldn't do (she's quite pro-breastfeeding herself), but that she'd been asked to deliver the message and so was doing so.
My first thought was when is anyone seeing enough to be uncomfortable about?! But then it occurred to me that I typically sit on the outside edge of the pew (so that I can step out easily to change diapers etc). If I'm nursing during the administration of the sacrament (which I often have been, because it keeps the baby quiet) then the man/young man who brings the tray to our pew would be standing next to/over me and be privvy to my perspective of the nursing babe...ok, yes, I can see that that could make someone uncomfortable.
So now I have this dilemma.
On the one hand, I firmly believe in nursing in public, and I prefer to do it without a blanket or cover, for all the reasons explained above. I know that Alaskan law excludes nursing mothers from public indecency statutes. On the other hand, my leader has asked me to do something, and I have covenanted to sustain my leaders. He is not being obnoxioius either, he is trying to find a gentle way to resolve everyones concerns in the matter.

So Hubby and I discussed my options.
There is a room where mothers can go to change diapers and nurse their babies, however there is no speaker hooked up to that room, and I want to be able to hear the meeting. Bear nursed frequently but briefly, but Eagle likes to tank up for 30-40 minutes, so if I were to go out with him I would miss half the meeting. There is a classroom that has a speaker hooked up, but it is on the far side of the building (ie--one has to walk through the chapel to get from one room to the other), and there is nowhere to change a baby over there. If they would provide both a speaker and a changing space on the same side of the building I would be much more inclined to utilize them. (I shared this with the woman who initially called me, and she said that was a very good point and she passed the information back up to the leadership, so hopefully they will install a fold-away changing table on the other side or something, but thus far all they've done is make an announcement in church that the room over there has a speaker and that young mothers are welcome to utilize the room in caring for their little ones.)
A second reason why I do not want to leave the chapel is actually far bigger--it means leaving Hubby alone with the other boys. It's not that he can't handle two kids in church, but we are both able to get more out of the meeting when we tag-team on the parenting. And as I said, when nursing Eagle, it's not like I would just be gone for a few minutes.
I could pump milk and bring a bottle to use for feeding Eagle during the meeting. In a way that seems the simplest solution...but what if I don't bring enough? Then we are back where we started anyway! I don't have any problem with teaching my child to take a bottle, but if I use a bottle in church solely because someone felt uncomfortable about breastfeeding, then it seems counter-productive in the whole goal of normalizing breastfeeding and the primary purpose of breasts.
A final option--and the one we've decided to go with for now--is that I will continue to breastfeed in church (without a blanket) but that I will sit next to the wall. If I'm against the wall then I'll automatically be more discreet because there won't be anyone standing over me at the edge of the pew. If (as yesterday) there are no side pews available when we arrive at church, then I will probably step out.

Light and Love

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.

Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that."

~ Martin Luther King Jr.

Breastfeeding among Great Apes

Mother chimpanzee with baby
Originally uploaded by Frenzy McKenzie

I just read a fascinating post about great apes and when they wean.

Of course there is variation between the species, but they all nurse until at least 3 years, and some routinely nurse until 5 or 6 or even 7. Their biological development is similar to ours (how and how long it takes the brain to develop for example), so then logically humans' "natural" weaning time is probably in a similar time frame.
I'm not saying that we all need to nurse our kids until they start kindergarten, but I do think the oft-preached practice of weaning at 12 months does a great disservice to the average child (and mother). My plan was always for 2 years. I nursed Bear several months longer than that because he wanted it, but weaned him at about 2 1/2. At 12 months old he was actually still consuming more breastmilk than solid foods--it would have been hard on both of us to make him give up his primary source of nutrition. Besides which, the older a child is when he is introduced to a new food, the less likely it is that he will have an allergic reaction to it.
Eagle I will nurse until we reach some mutually agreeable age--it will probably be around 2 as well. There is a huge difference in the maturity of a child between age 1 and age 2, both physically and emotionally. So that is why I continue to believe in extended breastfeeding.