"Darkness cannot drive out darkness;
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that."
~ Martin Luther King Jr.
only light can do that.
Hate cannot drive out hate;
only love can do that."
~ Martin Luther King Jr.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Friday, January 22, 2010
Breastfeeding among Great Apes
I just read a fascinating post about great apes and when they wean.
Of course there is variation between the species, but they all nurse until at least 3 years, and some routinely nurse until 5 or 6 or even 7. Their biological development is similar to ours (how and how long it takes the brain to develop for example), so then logically humans' "natural" weaning time is probably in a similar time frame.
I'm not saying that we all need to nurse our kids until they start kindergarten, but I do think the oft-preached practice of weaning at 12 months does a great disservice to the average child (and mother). My plan was always for 2 years. I nursed Bear several months longer than that because he wanted it, but weaned him at about 2 1/2. At 12 months old he was actually still consuming more breastmilk than solid foods--it would have been hard on both of us to make him give up his primary source of nutrition. Besides which, the older a child is when he is introduced to a new food, the less likely it is that he will have an allergic reaction to it.
Eagle I will nurse until we reach some mutually agreeable age--it will probably be around 2 as well. There is a huge difference in the maturity of a child between age 1 and age 2, both physically and emotionally. So that is why I continue to believe in extended breastfeeding.
Of course there is variation between the species, but they all nurse until at least 3 years, and some routinely nurse until 5 or 6 or even 7. Their biological development is similar to ours (how and how long it takes the brain to develop for example), so then logically humans' "natural" weaning time is probably in a similar time frame.
I'm not saying that we all need to nurse our kids until they start kindergarten, but I do think the oft-preached practice of weaning at 12 months does a great disservice to the average child (and mother). My plan was always for 2 years. I nursed Bear several months longer than that because he wanted it, but weaned him at about 2 1/2. At 12 months old he was actually still consuming more breastmilk than solid foods--it would have been hard on both of us to make him give up his primary source of nutrition. Besides which, the older a child is when he is introduced to a new food, the less likely it is that he will have an allergic reaction to it.
Eagle I will nurse until we reach some mutually agreeable age--it will probably be around 2 as well. There is a huge difference in the maturity of a child between age 1 and age 2, both physically and emotionally. So that is why I continue to believe in extended breastfeeding.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Human progress is not inevitable
Human progress is neither automatic nor inevitable...
Every step toward the goal of justice requires
sacrifice, suffering, and struggle;
the tireless exertions and passionate concern
of dedicated individuals.
~Martin Luther King, Jr
Every step toward the goal of justice requires
sacrifice, suffering, and struggle;
the tireless exertions and passionate concern
of dedicated individuals.
~Martin Luther King, Jr
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
High Five
Destiny from The Prudent Woman tagged me for this.
My High Five (5 highlights) from 2009:
1) Giving birth, especially at home and in the water... Giving birth is a remarkable thing regardless, but (as I've repeatedly mentioned) this qualifies as one of the highlights of my life, not just of the year.
2) Driving around the corner above our new town and seeing it for the first time. (Also our subsequent realization that it was Home.) Also leaving Pelican. I don't mean that to sound harsh, and moving to Pelican was a good thing because it brought us to Alaska...but I was oh so very ready to leave.
3) Watching my kids grow up...Wolf had his first canoe trip, got busy with cub scouts, learned to focus on his schoolwork and get things done (usually) in a timely manner, and is a wonderful helper with his little brothers. Bear has learned to use the toilet, speak like a grown-up, and gone from being a clingy-doesn't-even-want-to-stay-with-daddy kid to loving going to church nursery by himself. This summer they also got to see their maternal grandparents for the first time in a year, and their paternal grandparents for the first time in two years. For Bear that meant developing relationships, and for Wolf it was re-developing them...and that's another beautiful thing to see.
4) Seeing how much income I'd brought in via my etsy shop in 2008 (as I did the tax paperwork), and realizing that it was more than a hobby, it was actually a viable little business--making enough to pay not only for my supplies, but also for our internet service!
5) Getting our first PFDs (and knowing that we'll be getting them every year for as long as we stay in Alaska ☺ Oh how I ♥ living in this state!)
My High Five (5 highlights) from 2009:
1) Giving birth, especially at home and in the water... Giving birth is a remarkable thing regardless, but (as I've repeatedly mentioned) this qualifies as one of the highlights of my life, not just of the year.
2) Driving around the corner above our new town and seeing it for the first time. (Also our subsequent realization that it was Home.) Also leaving Pelican. I don't mean that to sound harsh, and moving to Pelican was a good thing because it brought us to Alaska...but I was oh so very ready to leave.
3) Watching my kids grow up...Wolf had his first canoe trip, got busy with cub scouts, learned to focus on his schoolwork and get things done (usually) in a timely manner, and is a wonderful helper with his little brothers. Bear has learned to use the toilet, speak like a grown-up, and gone from being a clingy-doesn't-even-want-to-stay-with-daddy kid to loving going to church nursery by himself. This summer they also got to see their maternal grandparents for the first time in a year, and their paternal grandparents for the first time in two years. For Bear that meant developing relationships, and for Wolf it was re-developing them...and that's another beautiful thing to see.
4) Seeing how much income I'd brought in via my etsy shop in 2008 (as I did the tax paperwork), and realizing that it was more than a hobby, it was actually a viable little business--making enough to pay not only for my supplies, but also for our internet service!
5) Getting our first PFDs (and knowing that we'll be getting them every year for as long as we stay in Alaska ☺ Oh how I ♥ living in this state!)
Refuse to Hate
"Nonviolence means avoiding not only external physical violence
but also internal violence of spirit.
You not only refuse to shoot a man,
but you refuse to hate him."
~Martin Luther King Jr.
but also internal violence of spirit.
You not only refuse to shoot a man,
but you refuse to hate him."
~Martin Luther King Jr.
Everything in life is a choice. Today, consider the power of refusing to hate!!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The ultimate measure of a man
"The ultimate measure of a man
is not
where he stands at times of comfort,
but
where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
is not
where he stands at times of comfort,
but
where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
Monday, January 18, 2010
The appalling silence
History will have to record that
the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition
was not the strident clamor of the bad people,
but the appalling silence of the good people.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
the greatest tragedy of this period of social transition
was not the strident clamor of the bad people,
but the appalling silence of the good people.
~Martin Luther King, Jr.
Is it Just Me?
...or is it sad that frozen turkeys now come with a gravy packet included? "Pour drippings and contents of gravy packet into a saucepan and mix well over medium heat."
Have we forgotten how to make a simple gravy? Um, meat drippings, flour, water, cornstarch if desired...maybe a little bullion (or a few cubes of frozen bone broth) to round it out...this is not a difficult thing to make...is it?
In the last couple of months I think I have seen a dozen facebook status updates that reference the person taking on some new and 'elaborate' cooking endeavor (often after watching "Julie and Julia"), and then I see what they are making: quiche, alfredo, a turkey... No, you're right, these are not necessarily beginner projects. But they are not terribly advanced either...most are more in the intermediate range. In and of itself there's nothing wrong with that, but some of these people are, well, a lot older than me. Women who have been stay-at-home-moms for a couple of decades, and yet have never attempted to cook anything complicated.
I am not suggesting that everyone needs to be a gourmet chef, but we all have to eat every day, so why would we not at least make quality food? And if you are already a pretty good cook, don't you get bored just making the same things over and over, no matter how good they may be? Don't you (and your family) deserve some variety? I chose to be a homemaker--shouldn't I care enough about my profession to be good at it??
So I'm issuing a challenge to all of you, my readers. It doesn't matter what level you are starting from; this coming week try something new. A new recipe, a new technique, a new something-that-will-make-you-a-little-better in the kitchen. After all, we could all try a little harder to be a little better. ☺
Have we forgotten how to make a simple gravy? Um, meat drippings, flour, water, cornstarch if desired...maybe a little bullion (or a few cubes of frozen bone broth) to round it out...this is not a difficult thing to make...is it?
In the last couple of months I think I have seen a dozen facebook status updates that reference the person taking on some new and 'elaborate' cooking endeavor (often after watching "Julie and Julia"), and then I see what they are making: quiche, alfredo, a turkey... No, you're right, these are not necessarily beginner projects. But they are not terribly advanced either...most are more in the intermediate range. In and of itself there's nothing wrong with that, but some of these people are, well, a lot older than me. Women who have been stay-at-home-moms for a couple of decades, and yet have never attempted to cook anything complicated.
I am not suggesting that everyone needs to be a gourmet chef, but we all have to eat every day, so why would we not at least make quality food? And if you are already a pretty good cook, don't you get bored just making the same things over and over, no matter how good they may be? Don't you (and your family) deserve some variety? I chose to be a homemaker--shouldn't I care enough about my profession to be good at it??
So I'm issuing a challenge to all of you, my readers. It doesn't matter what level you are starting from; this coming week try something new. A new recipe, a new technique, a new something-that-will-make-you-a-little-better in the kitchen. After all, we could all try a little harder to be a little better. ☺
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Accidental Abuse?
Disclaimer: I know domestic violence is a serious thing and I don't in any way mean to pretend that it's not. However these events the other day were so amusing that I had to share...
A few days ago I was doing some dishes. Hubby had just finished making himself some lunch, and I knew that he'd boiled some potstickers, so as I grabbed things from the sink I was careful of the pan that he had used because I knew it would be hot. I reached into another dish to grab a spoon and YEEOOWWWW! I burned all four fingers of my right hand. Even as I thrust them into the cold faucet water they still felt hot. What the...???
Apparently when he had drained the potstickers, Hubby didn't pour the water down the drain, it had gone into a pan already in the sink and he had just left it there. I had not thought that a pan from the prior night would have nearly-boiling water in it...obviously I mis-thought.
Hubby felt so bad, but I really wasn't mad at him, I was just frustrated at the pain and the situation in general. Being the strange people that we are, we started joking about it "well if you wanted to hurt me there are more direct ways to do it" "no, I wanted to do it in a sneaky way, plausible deniability you know..."
Well if that's how he wants to play, maybe I'll have to accidentally leave a strategically placed dirty diaper on the floor for him...
A few days ago I was doing some dishes. Hubby had just finished making himself some lunch, and I knew that he'd boiled some potstickers, so as I grabbed things from the sink I was careful of the pan that he had used because I knew it would be hot. I reached into another dish to grab a spoon and YEEOOWWWW! I burned all four fingers of my right hand. Even as I thrust them into the cold faucet water they still felt hot. What the...???
Apparently when he had drained the potstickers, Hubby didn't pour the water down the drain, it had gone into a pan already in the sink and he had just left it there. I had not thought that a pan from the prior night would have nearly-boiling water in it...obviously I mis-thought.
Hubby felt so bad, but I really wasn't mad at him, I was just frustrated at the pain and the situation in general. Being the strange people that we are, we started joking about it "well if you wanted to hurt me there are more direct ways to do it" "no, I wanted to do it in a sneaky way, plausible deniability you know..."
Well if that's how he wants to play, maybe I'll have to accidentally leave a strategically placed dirty diaper on the floor for him...
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Notes on Waterbirth
Waterbirths are touted as gentler than 'land births' because the baby emerges from a warm liquid to a warm liquid (rather than cold air). Water is also called 'the natural epidural' because it is so effective at relaxing and comforting the laboring woman. I have come to believe that the lubricative properties of the water help mother to stretch rather than tear, adding yet another aspect of gentleness.
Waterbirths have been practiced for years by tribes who routinely birthed in streams or lakes or even the ocean, however much of the western world has been scared to try them, fearing that the baby might drown, or, more especially, that it would be very inconvenient for the provider to try to assist a woman in a tub.
Let me begin by clearing up the 'drowning' myth. The baby has spent 9 months completely surrounded by fluid. He gets all his oxygen through the umbilical cord. So long as that cord is intact, he has no need to breathe air or use his lungs. Most midwives do bring the baby right to the surface of the water, but unless the cord has broken (which is rare), they don't really need to. Eagle's head emerged (underwater), and it was at least a full minute before the rest of him came out. During that time his head remained under water but he was fine because his cord did not break until the last moment, and the midwife brought him promptly to the surface and put him in my arms. He did not cough or sputter or anything. He just took a breath of air and stuck out his tongue at me. ☺
I very much hope to have all future babies in water as well. It was that awesome.
So, with that introduction, I thought I would share a few tips about waterbirthing.
THE POOL
First of all, you'll need a pool. Some women birth in their bathtub--this is ok, but tubs are narrow, and all the tub-birthing moms I've talked to have said that it was not very comfortable because it was just too crowded. Some women have a large jetted tub, or a hot tub to birth in. This works well, although the temperature of the hot tub should be lowered to something close to body temperature. It should be comfortably warm, but not hot. (Think about the temperature you use for a baby's bath, and go with that). The third--and most common--option is to rent or buy a birth pool. Some midwives bring the pool with them (and use disposable liners for each woman), some midwives require the mother to purchase her own pool. In my case, I needed to buy a pool.
There are a number of online stores that cater to waterbirth, and sell pools and accessories. There are several companies that manufacture pools specifically designed for birthing--they are large and have high sides. Some even have handles for the mother to hold on to, or a raised seat at one end (see below left). These official birth pools cost anywhere from $125-$450. Alternately, many mothers buy "fishy pools" which are regular inflatable wading pools that are relatively deep (though not quite as deep as the birth pools). The waterbirth stores carry these as well, and they usually cost $25-40. One downside is that pools are heavy, so in my case I picked out a $30 pool but then found that shipping was going to be another $25! A lot of people buy fishy pools from a local store, but that option was not available to me (especially in November!). I mentioned the dilemma to Hubby and he suggested I try amazon and their free shipping. Sure enough, I found the pool on the right for $38 and free shipping (photo is linked to the listing). I actually really liked the star shape, as it provided both flat spaces and 'corners' that I could lean into. It also has a padded floor, which most of the fishy pools do not. I highly recommend it as a birth pool!
One thing to keep in mind--many women want a larger pool so that daddy can get in the pool too, however if you get a pool that holds more than about 100 gallons, you may run out your hot water heater while filling it. So plan ahead and order something that will work with your space, your budget, and your water heater! (My pool held about 90 gallons and fit us both just fine, though it would have been nice to have about 4 more inches of water, Hubby used a pan to pour water over my back during contractions and it was fine.)
ACCESSORIES
http://waterbirthsolutions.com
http://inhishands.com
http://www.yourwaterbirth.com
TIPS
Waterbirths have been practiced for years by tribes who routinely birthed in streams or lakes or even the ocean, however much of the western world has been scared to try them, fearing that the baby might drown, or, more especially, that it would be very inconvenient for the provider to try to assist a woman in a tub.
Let me begin by clearing up the 'drowning' myth. The baby has spent 9 months completely surrounded by fluid. He gets all his oxygen through the umbilical cord. So long as that cord is intact, he has no need to breathe air or use his lungs. Most midwives do bring the baby right to the surface of the water, but unless the cord has broken (which is rare), they don't really need to. Eagle's head emerged (underwater), and it was at least a full minute before the rest of him came out. During that time his head remained under water but he was fine because his cord did not break until the last moment, and the midwife brought him promptly to the surface and put him in my arms. He did not cough or sputter or anything. He just took a breath of air and stuck out his tongue at me. ☺
I very much hope to have all future babies in water as well. It was that awesome.
So, with that introduction, I thought I would share a few tips about waterbirthing.
THE POOL
First of all, you'll need a pool. Some women birth in their bathtub--this is ok, but tubs are narrow, and all the tub-birthing moms I've talked to have said that it was not very comfortable because it was just too crowded. Some women have a large jetted tub, or a hot tub to birth in. This works well, although the temperature of the hot tub should be lowered to something close to body temperature. It should be comfortably warm, but not hot. (Think about the temperature you use for a baby's bath, and go with that). The third--and most common--option is to rent or buy a birth pool. Some midwives bring the pool with them (and use disposable liners for each woman), some midwives require the mother to purchase her own pool. In my case, I needed to buy a pool.
There are a number of online stores that cater to waterbirth, and sell pools and accessories. There are several companies that manufacture pools specifically designed for birthing--they are large and have high sides. Some even have handles for the mother to hold on to, or a raised seat at one end (see below left). These official birth pools cost anywhere from $125-$450. Alternately, many mothers buy "fishy pools" which are regular inflatable wading pools that are relatively deep (though not quite as deep as the birth pools). The waterbirth stores carry these as well, and they usually cost $25-40. One downside is that pools are heavy, so in my case I picked out a $30 pool but then found that shipping was going to be another $25! A lot of people buy fishy pools from a local store, but that option was not available to me (especially in November!). I mentioned the dilemma to Hubby and he suggested I try amazon and their free shipping. Sure enough, I found the pool on the right for $38 and free shipping (photo is linked to the listing). I actually really liked the star shape, as it provided both flat spaces and 'corners' that I could lean into. It also has a padded floor, which most of the fishy pools do not. I highly recommend it as a birth pool!
ACCESSORIES
- You will need a hose for filling your pool, and an adapter for attaching the hose to your sink faucet or shower head. The adapters cost just a few dollars, but the hose will be a little more. Some women are comfortable using a regular garden hose, but many prefer to buy a medical-grade (lead-free) hose from one of the waterbirth sites.
- It's worth investing in a good size pump for inflating the pool--a manual one is fine (if it's big) or an electric one might be nice if you have an especially big pool. You do not want to try to fill it by mouth!
I strongly recommend a debris net. It is very common for things besides the baby to be pushed out during birth *ahem* and having a little net to clear them away is very nice. The net only costs a couple of dollars, so if you don't use it it wasn't a huge investment...but if you do need it you'll be glad you had it!- A draining pump can be attached to the hose to siphon all the water back out of the pool (and down your tub or toilet) after the birth. I did not buy one of these because it was $50 and I had been told that it was easy to set up a manual siphon either into the tub or out the window...however we tried both those things and neither one worked so Hubby ended up having to empty the pool bucket-by-bucket, and got a very sore back in the process. He said next time we need to spring for the pump.
http://waterbirthsolutions.com
http://inhishands.com
http://www.yourwaterbirth.com
TIPS
- Lay a tarp or a plastic shower curtain on the floor under the pool (unless you have it in your kitchen or something). Make sure the plastic extends at least a foot beyond the pool on every side--I left about 6inches and we ended up with damp carpet in several places.
- Do a test run with your pool before your due date. Find out how long it takes to inflate the pool and make sure the space you have planned is large enough.
- After the test run, if you have the space to do so, leave the pool 80% inflated. Then when you are in labor it will be much faster to get it fully inflated and then filled.
- Usually very warm water feels best to the mother, but then there is potential for her to overheat. I did not encounter this myself, but my sister said she really recommends having an electric fan in the room in case mom is getting too hot, so that she doesn't have to get out of the water.
- If mom does get out of the water for a while, lay another shower curtain or tarp over the top of the pool. That will contain the steam so that the water will stay warm. If she is out for a while, the water may cool down and then she won't want to get back in, which more or less defeats the purpose of having the pool in the first place.
- Have a bunch of towels--ideally old ones that you don't mind leaving on the floor or getting dirty. Anytime mom (or anyone else) is in or out of the pool, water will get spread around...it's nice for mom to have a little path of towels to take to the toilet or the bed.
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