Baby Smiles

7 weeks old
Somebody has a new skill!

Kids Do the Darndest Things

Today's kiddo moment is from the archives so to speak...I wasn't blogging yet when Wolf was doing goofy toddler/preschooler things, but he was as amusing as Bear has ever been (even though he hasn't gotten as much print space), so this post is devoted to him.

When Wolf was about 4, there was some kind of disturbance up the street that involved a police car being parked in front of the house for an hour or so. Wolf was fascinated of course (he was in the "I want to be a policeman when I grow up" stage). He and daddy stood outside for a while and looked over at the car and talked about how police officers help keep us safe. A little later that evening as Wolf was saying his prayers at bedtime, I heard the following from his room:
"Thank you for policemen, for keeping us safe, and for helping us...BJOOOOO! BJOOOO! BJOOOO!"
[yes, he was making shooting noises mid-prayer!]
Daddy had been sitting with him as he prayed, and he told me afterward that it was all he could do to not laugh out loud...but thankfully he kept his cool and Wolf went on to finish his prayer without realizing just how much he'd entertained his parents.

Comment Issues

A long time ago I disabled anonymous comments on this blog because I find it annoying for someone to say something without telling who they are...I mean either own up to your comment or keep your mouth shut, you know? However not everyone has a google account, so some people (nice people) who wanted to comment were unable to do so. So a couple of weeks ago I switched the setting to allow anonymous comments, but just added a note saying that if you use that setting please indicate who you are.
I have never seen so much spam in my life. Fully half the comments I have gotten in the last two weeks has been spam (some of it isn't even in English, good grief!). No way is this going to continue.
So I have essentially two options: return to the "no anonymous comments" setting, or activate the word verification. Now I really hate word verification--I just think it's a pain--so I've never had it and never wanted to have it...however maybe it's the lesser of two evils in this case. I don't know. What do you think?

Facebook Weekend (holiday edition)

Saturday
12/19
Jenni and the kids just got back from sledding...now the dough has chilled (and so have we!) so we're making Christmas cookies!

Sunday
12/20
Happy 6th Anniversary to me!

Monday
12/21
Winter Solstice
Here comes the sun little darlin'...and the Son too. I love this season of celebrating light from many sources.
See my posts Season of Light and Celebrating Solstice
...FOUND THE DPNS!!! They were under the couch

Tuesday
12/22
...finished sewing the kids' christmas eve jammies...they're wrapped and under the tree. :)
...really really really really really dislikes knitting with DPNs (double pointed needles). But this sleeve is at an awkward size right now where it's too big to magic loop it on my 40" circulars and too small to use my 16" circulars...so DPNs it is... *sigh*

(This week Wednesday was the off-computer day)

Thursday
12/24
... is hoping that the last two packages of presents (one from each grandma) arrive today...both were mailed early, but somehow neither one has made it here yet.
(they did make it, whew!)
...finds it a little depressing that so many people have switched to digital holiday greetings (or ditched them altogether). I'm usually all in favor of going green, but once a year I want to see all those cards/pictures taped up on my wall. It makes me feel loved...and when I look at my wall on Christmas eve and see only 7 cards, well, WTHeck people?!

Saturday
12/26
...loves seeing the kids' eyes light up when they get something perfect...or give it.

Merry CHRISTmas folks. ☺

Grinchy Musings

I like Christmas, I really do. But after a whole month of love and light I confess I definitely have my moments of relating to Scrooge or the Grinch. Of course, the best things about those characters is that in the end they learn to love, and they cease to be "Scroogelike" and "Grinchy" respectively...but for the moment (in lighthearted fun of course) I thought I'd share a few of my Grinchier holiday thoughts:
(did I just make up that word, grinchier? hmm, nice!)

• All the twinkle lights shining on my tree, window, and front porch stairs are a little less lovely when I consider how they will shine through my electric bill next month.
• I hate people spending money they don't have for stuff they don't need. The only thing that's worse is people spending money (whether they have it or not) to give me stuff that I don't need/have nowhere to put.
  
• Really bad commercials. Need I say more? (Of course there are a few funny ones too, like this one, or this one.)
  
• Some of the worst "traditional, must-see movies" seem to be official holiday fare. It's often difficult to escape...even if I manage to avoid seeing the actual film (which I usually do), I frequently have to hear it mentioned or even quoted, and then come the memories...and the pain...
  
• Ditto on some of the worst songs ever...(and I'm not the only one who thinks so!) oh, excuse me, did you just say "snow" or "bell" or "winter" or "santa" or "tree" in that lame love song? Well, nobody would listen to it otherwise, but we'll call it a Christmas Song and give it airtime anyway! (everybody pardon me while I go barf for a minute).
  
• Having a newborn baby is a good excuse to not take goody plates to anyone else this year...and to eat more than my share of the goodies on the plates that are brought to us. (Hey, I need those extra 1000 calories a day for the nursling, I'm required to eat them, I have to get them in wherever I can!)
• It's a bit lame that some of the best foods are somehow 'reserved' for Christmas. Who decided that anyway? Can I take my post-pregnancy hormonal self on a little shooting spree in said persons' vicinity? I mean, really, we should eat homemade truffles and cardamom bread and peppermint pie all year long. Duh.
• It seems to be a law of the universe that my biggest sewing/knitting failures (you know, the "EPIC FAIL" ones) always happen when I'm trying to work too fast to get something finished up in time to slip it under the tree...Nothing stresses me out like a project on a timeline gone horribly horribly wrong.
  
• And finally, I get grinchy over the growing trend of not bothering to send holiday greeting cards/letters/photos (or with going digital--yes, this may be the only anti-green sentiment you ever hear from me, write it down someplace quick!). I know stamps are expensive (I have three international addresses on my list--that's 98cents now!) I know not everybody has the time or money every year...but really truly I think the thought counts for something, and I like hearing from people and seeing all those pretty cards taped up on the wall.
  

So Merry Christmas! You survived another year, and if you eat enough sugar cookies in the next few days you will probably survive the next one. Probably. (You may have to jumpstart with another batch of cookies around Valentines or Easter.)

Just Call me Elastigirl

After our family saw “The Incredibles” in the theater we were talking about the movie, and someone commented that Elastigirl’s powers had a nice side-benefit when it came to the childbirth department. After all, she can streeeeeetch with ease!

As I mentioned in the birth story, after Eagle’s birth (with his big head, nuchal hand, stuck shoulders, and even the midwife’s hands in there with him working him loose) my midwife anticipated that I would have torn a lot and that she would have “a big sewing job.” Although I had not thought about it at all as I was actually giving birth, as soon as she mentioned it I realized that, since I’d had 5 stitches after Bear (who was smaller), I probably did need some stitching up. And yet, as you know if you’ve read the story, I didn’t have any tearing at all. Not even one of the tiny tears commonly referred to as a “skidmark.” I have spent some time pondering over why this was.
I don’t know the answers of course, but I thought I would share some of my speculations, and perhaps they will be helpful for others mamas preparing for birth.

Belief in the possible
In her book “Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth,” Ina May Gaskin tells the story of a first time mom who was nervous about labor and how a baby could fit through. Ina May taught her the physiology of birth, and explained “you’re going to get huge.” During labor Ina May noted that this woman dilated well and had plenty of room for her large baby to come through. Afterward she congratulated the new mother, who said, “I just repeated that mantra you told me ‘you’re going to get huge.’” Perhaps it’s a little easier to believe in your body’s stretchiness if you’ve done it before, or if you’ve seen it happen (especially in person). Perhaps simple affirmations are sufficient. In any case, I believe that a genuine belief that my body could do this—was made to be able to stretch this way without incurring damage—was an integral part of its doing so.

Fear --> Tension --> Pain...or not
If you have read any natural childbirth books then you are almost certainly familiar with the concept of the “fear-tension-pain cycle,” which states that a woman who feels fear will tense up, being tense (rather than relaxed) will make her pain more intense, and of course intense pain will increase her fear. The solution then is to break the cycle—many methods promote relaxation with the idea of breaking the cycle at the ‘tension’ point, but what if you could break the cycle at ‘fear’? If a woman can go into labor feeling comfort and love and support rather than fear, might not that reduce (or remove) the tension and thus the pain? In my experience, yes it can. It’s not that labor wasn’t intense (it was) or even hard (parts of it were), but I felt sufficiently comfortable with my environment and supporting team that I felt no fear, and felt no tension, and (depending I guess on your definition of the word) felt no pain. I’m not saying it was an orgasmic birth—it wasn’t—but it was genuinely fearless, and thus my body was loose and able to stretch as far as it needed to.
Fearless labor and birth may sound lovely but figuring out how to actually do it is another question of course. I think that being able to choose a birthing location and provider that made me comfortable was vital. I happened to choose to be at home with a hands-off midwife, but I don’t believe that there is a universal ideal: some women will be most comfortable with a hospital setting and OB, some will want to be alone in the woods. The people present at the birthing matter too. Many women want to have their mother and/or spouse present, but some do not. Some invite a friend or sister or hire a doula or have their other children there. Many women feel safer and more relaxed with low light, music, massage, water, or aromatherapy. The point is not to do any one certain thing, but rather to know yourself well enough to choose what makes you feel safe and comfortable.

Gentle, supported birthing
Gentle birthing in the physical sense means that the baby is able to descend gently through the birth canal and vaginal opening. When the mother is coached in “purple pushing’ (the chin-to-chest-and-hold-your-breath-while-we-count-to-ten kind of pushing) the results tend to be not so gentle. At a postpartum visit my midwife commented that I had brought him down very gently, which I think is accurate, but I can honestly say that I wasn’t doing it consciously; I was just going with instinct. Some labor techniques talk about “breathing the baby down” rather than pushing, and I can say that that is definitely not what I did. I pushed and I pushed hard. I put my chin on my chest. I probably even held my breath a little—though if I did it was of my own volition and not because I was told to do so. BUT I pushed when I felt the urge and not when I didn’t. I let the baby come down, then retreat a little, then come down some more, then another small retreat…two steps forward, one step back. That back and forth motion helps things stretch more gradually and therefore more gently. I knew he was coming, and while I was eager to have him out, I also knew that he WAS coming and that there wasn’t a point in trying to force him to come any faster. Basically I just went with the flow.
When I say ‘supported’ I mean it in two ways: first, the emotional support that comes from having the right people (and none of the wrong people) present. I already went into that. Second, the physical support of the vaginal opening as the baby (especially the head or presenting part) emerges. Most providers who promote natural birth will use their hand(s) to put gentle pressure on the perineum, however when Eagle was crowning there was more than one set of hands supporting me. I know her hands were there, and I believe Hubby’s were too, and I instinctively reached down as well, so I was supported all the way around rather than just at the back. Since tearing can occur in any direction, I think that the all-around support definitely helped. I’m glad that my environment and birth team were comfortable enough that I was able to be uninhibited enough to do that.

Water
The final thing that I think contributed to my stretching rather than tearing is that I labored and birthed in warm water. The warmth during labor definitely helped my body relax, and as I explained already being relaxed and loose increases stretchiness. I think that the water also provided some gentle lubrication for the baby as he came down the canal. We all know that a little lube can facilitate and increase the comfort of other vaginal activities, and I don’t see why birth should be any different. Many midwives use KY Jelly or olive oil on the perineum during birth, but being immersed in water provides a more, shall we say, complete lubrication.
For what it’s worth, while I loved birthing in water and hope to do it that way in the future, not everyone likes waterbirth, and many providers do not allow it. Don’t for a moment think that delivering “on land” precludes a tear-free-birth. Water is just one contributor of many, and it is my belief that while all of them may help, probably any of them is sufficient.


So there you have it: my thoughts on why I didn’t tear during Eagle’s birth (and why I did with Bear’s). I’m interested to hear your thoughts (or experiences) as well.

Sunday Inspiration

Never let a problem
to be solved
become more important
than a person
to be loved.

~Thomas S Monson

♥
Happy 6th Anniversary to me and Hubby!
♥

Facebook Friday

Saturday 12/12
Jenni has a houseful of sickies :(


Sunday 12/13
... got the tree up and decorated and put a few presents under it... Bear immediately wanted to open one. He's young enough that he didn't remember the difference between "Christmas time" and "Christmas Day" and he was pretty disappointed. Oh well, I guess it's good we got the tree late this year--even Wolf says now that now it's up he can't wait.


Monday 12/14
... has to frog almost half of the body of a sweater because the stranding pulled too tight. So much for being able to give Wolf the sweater for Christmas :( I can't even look at it right now...I gotta go a sleeve or two before I can think about that body again.

The word is that as of today, Facebook will automatically index all your info on Google, which allows everyone to view it. To change this option, go to Settings --> Privacy Settings --> Search --> then UN-CLICK the box that says 'Allow indexing'. Facebook kept this one quiet. (I went to do it and mine was not checked,... but some of my friends' have been, so it's worth taking a second to make sure!!)


Tuesday 12/15
...has dealt with altogether too much snot in the last few days


Wednesday 12/16
...was letting the toddler play with my biggest DPNs (metal 7s) while I knitted last night, and now I need them and can't find 2 of the 5. I have a sneaking suspicion they may be in the Christmas tree...


Thursday 12/17
...needs more hours in the day...or at least, more hours in which children are sleeping and/or no one is screaming

Further notice of changes for Facebook: If you don't know, as of today, Facebook will automatically start plunging the Earth into the Sun. To change this option, go to Settings --> Planetary Settings --> Trajectory then UN-CLICK the box that says 'Apocalypse.' Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy and paste onto your status for all to see.
KS--I tried that and got an error message reading "Resistance is futile."
☺

...has the coolest midwife
She has a headlamp that she uses at births (so mama can have the lights off but midwife can still see). When she got hers out Wolf got his out, so Bear wanted one too and borrowed daddy's...fastforward a couple of weeks and we can't find daddy's headlamp anywhere. We finally hit on the idea that it might have ended up in midwife's birth stuff...
It took me several days to remember to call her, and when I did I just got the voicemail so I left a message. A couple of days later I had an appointment with her but we both forgot about the headlamp. A couple of days ago I called her again--another message. I knew she was heading out of town for the holidays and thought maybe I'd missed her. Tonight she called me back--FROM VACATION!!--yep, the headlamp was in her bag, she found it at a birth which was literally hours before she left on her trip, BUT she took the time to take the headlamp to her office so I can pick it up even though she's gone for three weeks.
See, she's cool. :)


Friday 12/18
...loves the way all the snow looks

...knows too many people with birthdays today, therefore nobody will get a personalized "happy birthday" and everyone will have to be content with a general shoutout.

...SO MANY URGENT FACEBOOK UPDATES!! Starting today, Facebook will be sending out Stormtroopers to do a search for two stolen droids. To ensure they do not expose your properties, go to Settings -> Jedi Mind Tricks. Select the box labeled "These are not the droids you are looking for." Copy this to your status and warn your friends!

Just a little thing...

...one of these days I really want to meet some of these people who comment on my blog all the time, and those whose blogs I read.
Or the people with whom I so often chat (and feel I know so well) in forums or email groups.
My husband doesn't make fun of me for having more friends online than in person--after all, we met online!
But it would be nice to meet you all in person anyway...just because, well, it's more personal.

So who wants to take a vacation to Alaska in 2010?! We've got world-class fishing, spectacular views, and me!!

Checking in on my 2009 Goals

In January I listed a few goals for myself for the year, so I thought I'd check in and see how I did with them...

I got off to a really good start on all my etsy-oriented ones, although I didn't maintain them very well through the move (sewing machine in storage + all materials in storage = not a lot of sewing/listing going on for a few months there!) plus the end of the pregnancy and newborn stage are not great times for focusing on my shop either. In the early months though I did keep up with the sewing/listing things every week as planned, and introduced a couple of new products (just not 6 as I'd hoped.) BUT even through the summer downtime, I didn't let the shop entirely die, I didn't spend anything on new materials, I did get a lot of new things sewn/listed/sold, and all in all I'm happy about it.

As for my personal goals:

Pay off credit card
Unfortunately moving was expensive enough that we didn't quite get the thing paid off (had to use it again to get through the paycheck gap) but we made a LOT of progress, so I can't feel too badly about it. Come tax return time I hope to finally get the last bit paid off. (Another kid = another deduction, so that will help!!)

Knit a sweater for Wolf
I've made a lot of progress...I was up to the shoulders (just needed to do the sleeves) but it's a stranded sweater and I discovered that some of my stranding had pulled too tight so I'm having to frog (undo) almost half of the body...I could just cry. I had high hopes of getting it done for Christmas, but I tried the body on Wolf and it's pretty snug and I know it wouldn't fit him long if I don't redo that stranding. So I'm redoing it, and I guess it won't be his Christmas present after all. But if something is worth doing, it's worth doing right. I'm dozens of hours into this project, and I would hate to finish it and have him not be able to wear it...better to back up and fix it now. *sigh*

(see how pulled it is through the ships?At least the lower stranding is ok!)

Get pregnant ☺
I'd say this one went pretty well. I actually did it twice, and managed to do so early enough to see the results within the year as well!

Spend less time on the internet
This has its ups and downs. Sometimes I do really well, sometimes not so well...but I have gotten back to reading more which has me off the computer, and with an additional kid in the house that keeps me busier too. I have designated Tuesdays as my no-net (no-computer) day, so I'm trying to be really good about that. Three weeks down so far...

Get Bear night-weaned and sleeping through the night
Well, he's weaned...some nights he sleeps through the night but not all the time yet. It's a work in process I suppose, and one of these days he'll get it down!
Here's a bonus though--he's learned to use the potty, and does so quite independently! Well, except for the part about putting clothing back on after he's pulled it off to go...but you can't have everything, right?!

Be supportive of my Hubby in his weight loss goal by providing appropriate and helpful foods (and not too many unhelpful ones!)
I wasn't perfect, but I think I stuck to my end of it pretty well. He got off to a great start but over the summer things kinda petered out and it took a while for him to get up and going again...however there's visible progress, and here's to continued progress in the coming year!