Pause to Think...

Last night Hubby and I were sitting up watching a movie. I'd had some pretty good contractions earlier in the evening (the kind I had to pay attention to) so we were hopeful that baby might finally be on his way. (He apparently wasn't.)
It was just a little past 11 (I'd been timing contractions so I'd been looking at the clock a lot) when I saw a fire truck come down the next street over. As you may recall, we have large picture windows in our living room, and we are on the second story. It happens that the two houses across the street from us are both single-story homes, as are the houses behind them facing the other street. So I had a pretty good view of this big truck with lights aglow. As always happens when I see an emergency vehicle, I got a little lump in my stomach, and sent up a quick thought for whomever had called for help... I said something to Hubby about wow, we're on a little dead-end street without all that many people on it and that was a big fire truck. He surmised that it had been an EMT call since we couldn't see it anymore...and just then we saw the truck return and stop almost directly even with us (on that next street over). We only know some of our neighbors at this point, but we do know someone who lives right there, so we started watching out the window to see if we could tell which house they were going to.
Perhaps a minute later I was focusing on a contraction when Hubby said "oh my gosh" and I looked out the window just in time to see massive flames burst out of the upstairs window of a house on the far side of that next street (we didn't know those residents). There was very little smoke (at least that we could see) but within seconds we could tell that the house was a total loss--the flames were massive. (No, this is not the actual house we saw, this photo is from an insurance website...but this is similar to what it looked like.)
A second fire truck arrived as the roof went up and we heard the house collapse. Hubby said he kept feeling like he should try to go over there and help, except what would he really do but be in the way...the firefighters were doing all they could to contain the fire and we knew that anything still in that house was lost.
I was grateful that there was snow on the ground--if only a little--and that the air was cold and damp. Regardless, two neighboring evergreen trees burst into flame one after the other, sending sparks high into the dark sky. We stood there frozen, watching out the window with a strange mix of horror and awe at the magnitude and power of the thing. Both of us had fleeting thoughts of hurriedly grabbing some clothes and blankets and putting them in the van in case the wind changed and we had to run ourselves, but everything went so quickly that there was not much time to think it let alone respond to the thought. When the flames disappeared, and nothing was left but the enormous cloud of steam rising where the firefighters' streams hit the pile of embers, I thought to glance at the clock again. It was 11:24. I don't know exactly what time we saw those first tongues of flame, but the whole thing was at most 15 minutes, and probably closer to 10.

As we got ready for bed Hubby posed the question: If we had to get out of our house, and had gotten the kids, but had just one minute to grab one other thing, what would you want?
One thought came instantly to my mind, and as I voiced it he agreed that it was the first thing he had thought of too: we would grab the laptop computer, because it has years worth of photos on it, and photos are irreplaceable. Yes, we have scrapbooks and I have a couple of boxes of print photos that I am slowly getting into albums...but those would be hard to grab, and the computer has the most so with limited time that is what I'd grab.
Hubby asked what I'd grab if I had enough time for two things...I thought for a while...I have some beautiful things, some things I love, some heirlooms or things I've spent hours and hours creating...but they are all just things. The honest truth is that I'd probably grab the file folder with everyone's birth certificates and passports and our house deed, and if I still had time I'd try to grab some blankets and/or extra clothing for everybody, because yeah, I'm practical like that. Hubby said he'd grab his journals.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This morning I found out from my neighbor some more details about the family whose house burned. They were in bed but woke up and were all able to get out unhurt. They are a young couple with a toddler and she is 7 months pregnant. They have nothing but the clothes on their backs--he was not even able to grab his glasses, without which he cannot see. I am so thankful that they are ok, and am talking with my neighbor (since she knows them) to see if there is anything I can do to help.
I do not know how the fire started.
ETA--on my morning walk with Bear we walked past what remains...I was slightly mistaken in that it was two streets over, not one, and a one-story house, not two--the hill made it look closer/bigger than it was I guess. Also it's not quite gone--there is a bit of a burned-out shell left...but nothing salvageable.


It is all a very timely reminder though--obviously to think about what is really important to us, but also to remember about fire safety: The fires that usually kill are hot and fast, not slow and smokey. Don't expect to have time to grab stuff if your house catches on fire, you will probably have to just run as you are (so don't sleep in your underwear!!). Hold your family fire drills! Never leave a fireplace or candle unattended.

Thoughts on Inductions and Encouraging Labor

As you can probably tell from some of my recent posts (particularly my facebook friday one) I'm getting ancy for this kiddo to be born. Ironically I'm not even to my due date yet, but my body keeps giving signs of labor, and I'm past the date where I delivered Bear, so I'm feeling overcooked even if I'm not really. I confess this last week I've given some thought to inductions, and feel like I have some understanding for why women choose that route. (I confess I even had a dream wherein I got one of my crochet needles and broke my own water!!) I never felt this way with Bear, first because I was prepared to go past 40 weeks because I know that's common for first-time moms, but secondly because I didn't have ongoing prodromal labor as I have this time. When labor started with Bear, it started and it continued until he was born. This time has, obviously, been very different!

There are two types of "induction," but they're not really the same at all, so I prefer to think of them as "inductions" verses "encouragements." The former will stimulate labor forcefully, the latter will simply encourage it to move along if (and only if) it is ready to happen anyway.

Standard inductions include administering synthetic hormones (such as pitocin) via IV, or via vaginal suppository (such as cytotec, which by the way, commonly causes birth defects, uterine rupture, and maternal death--if you don't look at any other links in this post at least look at this third one here!).  Inductions of this sort are commonly done because the woman is "overdue," or because either the woman or her doctor had a schedule to keep and just wanted to get the baby out already. A friend of mine put together an excellent post on why "Overdue is NOT an Emergency" and she cites many references to back up that stance.

Dangers of Induction
In my opinion, one of the biggest problems with having an induction based on dating is that estimated due dates (EDDs) are just that--estimates--and are wrong at least as often as they are right. A woman who has anything other than a 28 day cycle (or who ovulates on any day other than day 14) will have an inaccurate EDD if she bases it on her last menstrual period--which is what most providers do.
Secondly, EDDs are based on average gestations, but some women gestate for 38 weeks and some gestate for 42, and there are differences from one child to the next as well as from one woman to the next. So even if you know that your dates are correct (because you know your date of ovulation) you still can't really know how long your baby needs.
Inductions do not always work--particularly if the mother's body was not showing signs of readiness (dilation and effacement) prior to the induction. As mentioned in the post I linked above, when first time moms with no dilation and no effacement are induced at 41wks (merely because of the date), they have about a 50% chance of ending up with a c-section for failure to progress. In other words, half of them will not go into labor in spite of the induction, so their babies will have to be delivered surgically.
Finally, there is evidence to support the idea that every week (even every day) that a baby spends in utero prepares him for life outside the womb. It is true that medical science has found ways to save the lives of babies born very very prematurely, but ask any of those premie's moms and they will tell you that they would have preferred that the babies be full-term. Just because the babies are able to live does not mean that it is in any way desireable for them to have been born so early! Babies who are even just a couple of weeks premature often have under-developed lungs, insufficient fat stores, eating problems, immature livers (leading to jaundice), and underdeveloped/undersized brains. But don't we also need to worry about the baby getting too big? Nope, we really don't.
I believe that inductions are terribly overused, and not nearly as appropriate (or as safe) as we are led to believe.


Encouragements are quite different from inductions, in that they will stimulate contractions, help ripen the cervix, or facilitate the baby's head engaging with the cervix, but they will not really force labor to start. I am comfortable with encouraging labor--particularly when the woman's body has already been giving signals that it's about ready.
Here is a short list of labor encouragements and how they work:

1. Walking--being upright and in motion can encourage the baby to descend into the pelvis and engage his head with mama's cervix, thus stimulating dilation. Many women find that physical activity brings on contractions as well.  (Safety feature--if mama's body isn't ready for labor, the contractions will usually stop once she stops walking.)
2. Doin' the Deed--yep, you got it, the same thing that got the baby in can encourage the baby to come out. This actually works in four ways: A--daddy's semen contains prostoglandins (the hormone that softens the cervix), B--if mama orgasms then those contractions can stimulate labor contractions, C--nipple stimulation releases oxytocin (which is explained more fully below), and D--getting mama relaxed and increasing her blood flow to her pelvic area can be helpful as well. There is really a lot more in common between getting babies in and getting babies out than what most of us have been told, but all the organs and muscles are the same, and many of the sensations are comparable, so it's only logical that they should work together so nicely.
   
3. Nipple Stimulation--I've heard a few mothers say that nursing their toddler got labor up and rolling, or of course daddy can help out, or mama can do it herself with a breast pump (it does need to be a sucking type of motion). The reason it works is that it releases oxytocin, as mentioned above, and oxytocin causes uterine contracting--this is exactly why immediate breastfeeding helps to get the placenta out and reduces the risk of postpartum hemmorage (because it causes the uterus to clamp down).
   
4. Consuming Castor Oil--basically castor oil will stimulate the bowels, and since the bowels and uterine muscles are ajacent, stimulating one often stimulates the other. (Loose bowels is a common symptom of early labor, as the body tries to get everything out of the way to make as much room as possible for the baby to get through.) Theoretically any laxative could cause this result, but obviously laxatives also carry the potential danger for dehydration, and castor oil is sufficiently nasty that I doubt the average mama would take enough of it to overdose! Incidentally, on top of castor oil being nasty, it doesn't always work, so you may be taking a dose of nasty for no reason...just something to keep in mind. ☺ (If you do want to try it, I'm told it can be chugged in a glass of orange juice to cover the taste, or try mixing it with some scrambled eggs (before frying them), and you'll get greasy eggs but they won't taste too bad.)
   
5. Eating Spicy Foods--these can stimulate the digestive system, which may stimulate contractions. Of course, spicy foods may also stimulate heartburn, so attempt this at your own risk! I have heard that garlic may work this way too.
   
6. Squatting--my midwife recommends spending time in a deep squat (like a yoga squat--lean against the front of a couch or hang on an exercise ball if you need some support). Essentially this position can help encourage the baby's head to engage with the cervix.
7. Dance--get your hips moving in as wide a range as you can, especially in circles (like belly dancing or hula). The wide stance opens your pelvis, and the movement can encourage the baby to descend...sortof like a combination of the walking and squatting. Whether or not you utilize this to encourage labor, it is also a very helpful thing to do during labor.  (edited to add: this is what got this baby to engage and come out. After 2 1/2 weeks of solid "early labor" every night, but no progress, literally a day and a half of hip circles every 30-60 minutes got his head engaged and moved him right down. I did hip circles during almost every contraction in labor too, and he was out in less than 5 hours. Your mileage may vary of course, but I have become a BIG proponent of hip circles!)
8. Evening Primrose Oil--this can be consumed in capsule form or applied to the cervix directly. Either way, many midwives advise it during the final month or so of pregnancy, and it is supposed to help soften the cervix, which in turn should facilitate dilation when labor does start.
   
9. Acupuncture or acupressure--it's important to do this with someone who is trained specifically for it, but some women report rapid results. Of course some women also report that nothing happened.
10. Chiropractic Adjustment, Massage, or Reflexology--some women say it works, some say it doesn't... rubbing the lower half of mamas calves (in the back) is supposed to get things going...
    
11. Consuming Red Raspberry Leaf--RRL is a uterine toner, so consuming it throughout pregnancy is a good idea anyway. Consuming increased amounts of it in the final weeks will not generally stimulate contractions, but can help the uterus prepare to work effectively when labor does start.
12. Consuming Blue & Black Cohosh--these herbs are commonly touted in the naturopathic world as a "natural induction" but they do carry risks. I am not comfortable with them myself at this point, but if you are inclined to try them make sure you read up on them first!
13. Get busy doing something else. Really. Stop focusing on being not in labor, and go find something productive to do--once the baby comes you'll be too busy to do anything else for a while, so use your time now to clean the house, play with your other kids, spend time with your spouse, pamper yourself, or change the world. ☺
14. This site also has a great list of suggestions (with additional links with additional info) http://wrylilt.hubpages.com/hub/Ways-to-induce-Labour-Naturally
    

If any of my readers know of other methods (or references) that I have neglected here, please leave them in the comments and I'll edit them into the post!!

Facebook Friday (with bonus comments!)

(quick review of the end of last week...)
Friday 10/30
Jenni thinks that if last night is anything to go by, we're on babywatch proper now. The moon is full, I keep having contractions, and this little one may decide to be an October baby instead of a November one. [Also I lost my plug, which, you know, may mean 2 hours or 2 weeks...With Bear it happened at the beginning of labor...]

Most of my status updates this week involve being on babywatch...that is, that final few days of wondering and waiting and obsessing over every little thing that just might be a sign that labor is beginning. So I've included not just the status updates, but also some excerpts from the comments (the bullet points). Most of them are me answering questions from other commenters... there are also a couple of general comments from me, as usual...

Saturday 10/31
...FINALLY has a middle name for the kiddo. Now he can come out!


Sunday 11/1
... isn't in labor, and wishes her body wouldn't imply things and then back out. Just follow through already!!

• I didn't have nearly so hard a time waiting last time...I think because I didn't get these crazy false starts. When labor started it was slow and long, but it was the real thing...this time I've had twice now with intense contractions right on top of each other...and then they just quit.
• The name thing may have been holding me up mentally, along with not wanting him to come on halloween...but I'm particularly frustrated now because those are over/resolved, and still nothin. I think the big issue is that I don't contract when the kids are up--so I figure i'll go into labor after their bedtime, fine, but it seems the *entire* family is conspiring against me on that one.
  I know it's not false labor, but it's definitely false starts, and I'm so burned out (and miserable--physically and otherwise) right now that I had a massive breakdown this morning already and I haven't even been up for 2 hours. It's going to be a looooong day.
• I've been napping with Bear every day, so that's something. I've stayed up a little bit with hubby the last few nights watching movies but I'm not going to do that anymore. If he wants to skip the sleep that's fine I'll go to bed without him.
  I do have a couple of people I can call to help out, but if I can labor at night then they'll just sleep and it should be easier on everybody to not have the extra people around...The way these mid-night contractions have been (and also my midwife's prediction based on how soft I am) I think this labor may be a hard fast one, so if that works out then hopefully I won't need to call anybody in.

One of the most frustrating things has been that I've had lots of other labor symptoms, including lack of appetite, nausea and/or heartburn if I do eat, feeling generally cranky and a bit spaced out. All of these things are fine in labor, but since I'm not having contractions and am therefore NOT in labor, it's really difficult to do things like, oh, maintain my nutrition!!


Monday 11/2
...has nested until it seems there's nothing left to do...laundry is done, kitchen is clean, bathrooms glisten...I guess I'll make some bread. Nothing like getting involved in a time-consuming project to make sure you get interrupted, right?!

• [a couple of commenters asked if I'd come to their houses next ☺]
• [JV] Aww, baby bread! I wonder if there's a recipe out there anywhere called that because it's "guaranteed" to make you go into labor either in making or eating it. Then again, that sounds a little... morbid. Never mind. Have fun with the breadmaking!

Tuesday 11/3
7:59am
...made bread (both regular and banana), plus zuppa de tuscana for dinner, and managed to get some nice contractions going around bedtime...but they didn't stick. Today we'll try hands and knees scrubbing floors...
1:06pm
...just found out that my midwife is catching another baby today, so I guess I'm glad I'm not in labor at the moment...


Wednesday 11/4 (My sister's birthday, 39wks, and the gestational date at which in went into labor with Bear)
6:44am
...will let you know when there's a baby to announce...until then, I'm still feeling crabby, my appetite is screwed up, my hips hurt, and I keep walking around chanting "down and out baby, down and out."

• [DR] Sleep while you can woman!
• oh I am D__. I nap with Bear every day and I've been trying to head to bed early. One of these nights I'd just like to be awakened by the baby coming out instead of the toddler coming in. ;)

8:49pm
...made homemade sesame chicken for dinner tonight--it's the first food that's actually appealed in a week, so I ate lots. Mmm, protein...

Thursday 11/5 (The gestational date at which Bear was born--yeah, he held off till after midnight)
9:18am
...sees the midwife this morning...Since Bear had been born by this gestational date, I'd kinda hoped to not make it to this appointment. Oh well, every day is one day closer to meeting Eagle.
10:03am
...is officially waddling. I guess the babe did move down last night, even if he didn't manage to get *all* the way down!
At my midwife appointment today we found that I'm still 1cm dilated and not at all effaced, and baby is still at a -2 station (meaning 2 cm above the pelvic bone)...no change from last week. She thinks I "look done" though...sortof like when you peek at the cookies in the oven and can tell that they are done even though the timer hasn't gone off yet. Neither of us expects me to make it to next week's appointment...
Tonight for the second night in a row I've had pretty decent contractions going through the afternoon/evening, and really thought we were probably going to see a baby out of it...but in both cases once I'd taken the time off to put the older kids to bed the contractions stopped. I think--and my midwife agrees--that my body won't labor when I'm in mommy-mode. She anticipates that I'll go into labor after bedtime one of these nights, and while that's possible, I'm noticing that the bedtime routine seems to be the end of my contractions...so maybe next time I'll have hubby put the kids to bed and I'll do other stuff and see if the contractions will keep going...


Friday 11/6
...has decided to take it upon herself to create/organize a breastfeeding support group here in Homer. There doesn't seem to be one, and the nearest LLL is 90 min away. For all my friends who are involved with such things, do you recommend joining LLL or just striking out solo?

• (yes, I am actively seeking ways to stay busy/distracted right now...but this is something I believe in and want to see happen anyway, so I'm not gonna ditch it when labor starts LOL!!)
  

Why Birthing Matters

A few months ago I was talking with Hubby about birth options, and he asked why women make such a big deal of where and how they give birth. After all, if the point is to get the baby out and have everybody healthy, then isn’t one place or method as good as another? (He really didn’t ask in a heartless way like that, he just genuinely wanted to understand.) This is an issue that is raised frequently, so here is my attempt to explain why birthing matters.

There are two parts to this in my opinion. First it’s about safety and respect, and secondly it’s about personal accomplishment.

Many women report feeling like they had no choices, no control, and/or no rights when they were laboring and birthing. Schedules had to be kept, this or that intervention came up, and lady you’d better be quiet because you don’t know anything anyway and we are trying to save your baby here. This sort of experience is often referred to as “birth rape” and (given the power-play involved) that seems to me an accurate term. During labor a woman is at her most vulnerable—not only is she without clothing and (commonly) laying down, but her body is doing things which are beyond her control, and in the midst of all that SHE HAS TO RELAX! After decades of being pushed around and told how we should labor and birth our babies, is it any wonder that women are becoming assertive about birth and insisting on different providers, locations, or methods for their births? A woman should to be able to choose the things which allow her to be comfortable. If there is anything that inhibits labor it is feeling uncomfortable! I don’t know anyone who can relax and let their body do its thing when they are stressed…it’s a little like trying to have a bowel movement with half the neighborhood watching.

There is a second reason why birthing choices matter though, and in some ways I think this one may even be bigger than the first, and that is that birthing a baby is the ultimate expression of femaleness. We in the western world live in a culture that has spent the last century de-feminizing women. Some of these changes are the result of technology, and many have come at the behest of the women themselves, but the result is the same: women are becoming more and more like men. They dress like men. They talk like men. They work in the same offices at the same kinds of jobs. They take medications so that their hormonal swings over the course of their menstrual cycle are minimalised. They can even limit or stop the menstruation itself. Many do not marry. Many do not have children (or if they do, they hand them off to be raised by nannies or daycare and school systems so that they can continue to work). They are out of touch with the natural cycles of the world: they live in a climate-controlled home that is the same temperature year-round. They work in a climate-controlled office. They drive in a climate-controlled car. They eat the same imported foods year-round and probably don’t even know what foods are in season when. As mentioned before, they control (or do away with) their menstrual cycles so that not even that bit of nature is allowed to occur naturally. But birth, that is an exclusively female domain. No man can do it. In other words, for many women, giving birth is the one time in her life when she is being true to what she is--when she is actually doing something as nature intended--and that can be a powerful (and empowering) experience. It is her chance to be a WOMAN rather than another androgynous clone. Is it any wonder that many women spend so much time and emotion planning for their births? Especially given that most women in our culture will only do it once or twice, is it any wonder that birthing matters?

Guessing...

Neither I nor any of my siblings have any dimples.
Hubby has one dimple.
Wolf has two (or three, if you get a really really big grin from him).
Bear has three dimples--which he obligingly shared with us within minutes of his birth.

Any bets on the baby?

I'm hoping for the dimples. They're just too cute.

I'm also harboring a tiny hope for red hair, although I know it's not terribly likely...but my mother has red hair, as does one of her sisters, and one of my brothers, and I have (natural) red accents, and they tell me that if grandpa grew his beard that was red...so there's a tiny chance and I can hope, right?!
OK, fine, so I can't realistically hope for red hair. But maybe I can hope that he's got a big mop of hair (like Wolf) rather than being more or less bald for a year (like Bear)? C'mon, Hubby has really thick hair, so that should balance out how thin mine is, right?!

I have a sneaking suspicion that he has big feet. Both the other boys do (I noticed Bear's within the first day), and based on the size of the lumps that protrude from my belly when this kiddo kicks, well, yeah, I think he has big feet. That's ok for a boy though, I'll just hope that someday I'll have a girl with nice little feet like mine. ☺

Musings on Contentment

Why is it that so few people are content? Why does it seem that the grass is always greener elsewhere? Some other job, some other house, some other city, some other partner... Why are we always saying "I would be happy if only I had _____"? How is it that we become so fixated on what we don't have that we forget what we do have?
It's something of an epidemic I think, and it's not a healthy one. Yes, it is good to make progress in life, to make changes and improvements, and to "move up in the world." BUT, most often the changes and improvements that need to be made are not in our environment but in ourselves.
The truth is that no thing, no person, no job, no house, no place will ever be perfectly perfect. I know people who spent vast quantities of money building their dream home, and almost as soon as it was finished they found aspects of it to dislike. Couples who are "totally in love" have divorced within a year of the wedding. The ideal job inevitably loses some of its excitement , and the perfect city reveals itself to have rainy days, cranky people, and bad traffic just like anywhere else.

I am convinced that contentment is not something that happens to us, but rather it is something that we choose. Contentment is an attitude. Life will always have imperfections, but scripture teaches us that "man is that he might have joy" and I take God at His word on that. If we are meant to be happy, but circumstances will never be perfect, then clearly we can--and should--make the choice to be happy regardless of our circumstances.
I know that is usually easier said than done. I have to frequently remind myself to notice the little things that are good and right in my life and world. Sometimes they seem elusive, but the more I practice finding them the easier they become to find. Last year this month I issued a Thanksgiving Challenge to myself and to any readers who cared to join me--on Thanksgiving Day I posted 365 things I was thankful for (one for each day of the year). When I started writing the list it felt slow, laborious even, to come up with so many things...but as I progressed through the list it became easier and easier. When I reached #365 I realized that I could think of a half dozen more things to boot.

There is always something to be discontent about...but there is always something to be content about too. The real difference between contentment and discontentment is not what kind of life you have, but which things you choose to focus on.

So no, this year I'm not issuing a formal Thanksgiving Challenge like I did last year, however I am issuing an informal one: Take a good look at yourself and your level of personal contentment. If you are happy, then good for you! If you are not happy, then step up to the plate and make the choice to get happy--to make contentment yours. Because it's there available to all of us, if we'll just make the choice to have it.

Facebook Friday

Sunday 10/18
Jenni's toddler has a new toy, a "pu-la-la-la-la-la-lice car" (we don't know why he puts the tongue wiggle in the middle...maybe he's adding a siren?! In any case, it's adorable.)

[also posting new belly pics--36wks] ------>

Tuesday 10/20
...just found out that my best friend may not be able to come after the baby (even though we've been planning this for months) because her work won't let her off. In moments like this I have to question whether employment isn't a bit overrated...

Wednesday 10/21
...has finalized plans for Saturday's "estre-fest" aka henna party. Oh yes, I need some estrogen in this house to gear me up for this baby!!

Thursday 10/22
... notices her boys putting syrup AND whipped cream on their pancakes (I had the whipped cream out cuz I had my pancakes with berries) and wonders if the fact that they are whole wheat pancakes is enough to justify still calling it 'breakfast' rather than 'dessert'?

Friday 10/23
...discovered that if I am willing to drive 6 miles I can go to a post office where there are no lines and the clerks are nice. Given that the PO in town involved 10+ person lines and cranky clerks every time I went, I don't mind the drive--my time... spent is the same and I don't come away hating anybody.

Saturday 10/24
...has henna on her belly...spirals and sunbursts and some personal touches. :) [photos posted last wednesday]

Monday 10/26
...has cute--and geeky--kids.

Tuesday 10/27
...is contemplating *just* how naughty it would be if she made candy corn cookies this afternoon...

Wednesday 10/28 [38 weeks] --------->
... is taking bets on when the baby will come...(no prize for the winner, except, you know, winning!!) Stats: *official due date is 11/11 *last baby came at 39w1d (labor started at 39w, but he was born after midnight) *my gut says this one will come on the earlier side as well *as of tuesday I'm 1cm, "very soft" and baby is at -2 station [I got bets for 11/3, 11/4, 11/6, 11/7 (two of them), and 11/8]

Thursday 10/29
... is amused that all her Utah friends who thought that "Alaska is so cold" now have enough snow to go sledding...and we had a bright sunny day with no snow yet this season!

Friday 10/30
...thinks that if last night is anything to go by, we're on babywatch proper now. The moon is full, I keep having contractions, and this little one may decide to be an October baby instead of a November one. [Also I lost my plug, which, you know, may mean 2 hours or 2 weeks...With Bear it happened at the beginning of labor...]

Birth Contingency Plans

I think that one of the healthiest things a woman can do as she prepares for labor and birthing is to go ahead and think about the what-ifs, including the ugly ones. The majority of births happen relatively smoothly, but, for the few that don’t, I believe in being prepared. What if this or that goes wrong and this intervention or that change has to happen? What will she do in that moment when her ideal birth plan is blown out of the water? I know there are several birthing methods (most notably hypnosis-based ones) which insist on thinking only happy thoughts. They don’t want mommy-to-be to even THINK a word like ‘pain’ or to contemplate what she would do if she suddenly had to have an emergency c-section, let alone to consider what her preferences would be if (heaven forbid) her infant died. Honestly I think that’s sadly naive and can do a great disservice to the women involved. While I agree that thinking happy thoughts is good, and avoiding negative influences is also good, there is still something to be said for making thoughtful contingency plans. For those who write up birth plans, I think it’s wise to include a short version of these contingency plans at the end.

When I was expecting Bear, he spent the majority of the pregnancy in a head-up position. The earliest kicks I felt were low and led me to wonder about his positioning, the ultrasound verified that he was breech, and the location of his kicks in subsequent weeks (all in my pelvis) indicated that he seemed inclined to stay that way. As the pregnancy progressed and he got bigger (with less extra room to change position) I started to think a lot about what would happen if he remained breech on his birth day. I researched vaginal breech deliveries, including talking with my provider about whether he was comfortable or experienced with them (he was). That was of some comfort, but I was still troubled at the possibility of needing a c-section.
In my childbirth education class we spent some time visualizing our greatest birth worries—with the intent that we could work through them in class so that they would not haunt us in labor. When I was honest with myself I had to admit that my greatest fear was for things to go wrong, for the baby’s life to be in danger, and to culminate in needing a c-section. Perhaps that sounds quaint to someone who has had one, but I had lost 3 babies in the prior 2 years and was terrified of losing another baby. Having to have a c-section was, for me, a variation of the complete loss of control that I had felt during my miscarriages, and so it terrified me. In class we worked through the emotional side of our fears: visualizing ourselves in the situation, then accepting the facts, trusting my OB to provide appropriate and competent care, and focusing on the good things in the situation rather than on the negative ones. It was a hard day of class to say the least, but I came out of it feeling stronger and more prepared to deal with whatever may come.
In the subsequent weeks I did some studying on c-sections and made decisions about which kind of anesthesia I would prefer and who I wanted present if that was the path we had to follow. At the end of my 2-page birth plan I wrote the following:

If the baby is breech

• I would like to try to deliver vaginally, regardless of presentation
• Even if a cesarean seems necessary, I wish to go into labor on my own, rather than scheduling the surgery in advance.

If a Cesarean become necessary

• I prefer to have a spinal rather than a general anesthesia
• Give the baby immediate skin-to-skin contact—with me or with dad.
• Please ensure that [dad] is able to remain with baby while I am recovering, and let me be with my baby again as soon as is practical.
• Stitch the layers of my uterus separately. [Believe it or not this is an issue, as some OBs prefer to do it in one step, which can increase the risk of uterine rupture for future deliveries.]
• Please adhere as closely as possible to our other ‘after the birth’ wishes.

Thankfully, around 34 weeks Bear decided to flip over into the standard vertex (head-down) position, and I was able to remove the “if the baby is breech” portion from my birth plan before giving it to the hospital staff. I left the cesarean part though. It was not an issue for that birth, but I felt better knowing that it was there, and I have written something similar for this time around.

Of course I hope that my contingency plans never have to be realized, but in case they do, I feel better knowing that I have educated myself about the options. More even than that, I am glad that I have dared to think about the possibilities. I think that one of the most traumatic aspects of a traumatic birth is the shock of it all, but if the mother (and hopefully father too) have emotionally prepared for variations from the ideal plan, then the element of shock is lessened, and thus the trauma can be too.

38 Weeks -- "Full Term" and the henna

Estimated due dates are just that--estimates. For years a baby has still been considered "on time" if it was born anywhere between 38-42 weeks. The formulas uses to estimate due dates are not always reliable, and some babies just seem to need a little longer in the oven than others. ☺ In more recent years, some providers have begun to consider 37 weeks as full term, or at least close enough to full-term that the baby will not likely have complications as a result of prematurity, however 38 weeks is still pretty standard, at least in my book.
So, today makes me full term.

And just as a note, the third trimester (particularly this last month) is the one time in my life when I don't feel like a large-busted lady...somehow the belly manages to overwhelm even my generous endowment for a few weeks. Of course, as soon as the kiddo arrives my belly will shrink and my milk will come in and I will be more top-heavy than ever. Ahh the irony!

It’s the calm before the storm. Changes in your baby's weight have leveled off with only a few ounces of fat added this week. At this point your baby should weigh in at around 7 lbs and 20 inches (with boys somewhat heavier and longer than girls). Happily, as far as internal organs go, they are now developed enough to function in the outside world although the oh-so-important immune system is still developing and will continue to do so after birth. With a large boost of antibodies provided by breast milk when nursing begins. Fighting infection and staying healthy should be well within their physical capacity when your little fighter is born.

Your health care provider will assess the likelihood of where you are relative to your upcoming birthing process—seeing as you’ve now arrived at that waiting phase that could turn into labor at any time. Various charming indicators such as loose stools, expelling your mucus plus (along with the bloody show), a dilated cervix and increased Braxton-Hicks contractions are all signs that labor is only a few days away. The infamous water breaking may or may not be your first true indicator that labor has commenced. However, water breaks for only 15% of mothers and despite what Hollywood would have us believe, is more frequently just a slow leak rather than a large gush.
(But I have a plastic sheet on my bed under the sheet just in case, so that I don't ruin our new mattress!! ☺)

Yesterday I saw my midwife and asked her if she'd do an internal check (she doesn't do them until ~39 weeks unless the mother asks). The baby's head is at a -2 station (2 cm above the pelvic bone) and I'm 1 cm dilated but very very soft. That means that once he comes down enough to engage (put pressure on my cervix) things will probably move right along, but for the moment nothing much is going on. I've had a few pretty good contractions (Sunday night I had several strong ones quite close together and started to wonder if labor was starting) but they have never continued more than half an hour. So I know we're getting close, but 'close' could mean two days or two weeks. It's normal to dilate a cm or two (or four) in the weeks preceding labor, and it doesn't mean that labor is imminent.

Be patient: if labor doesn’t start this week, or even next, keep in mind that only 4-5% of women actual deliver on their predicted due date. What’s more if this is your first pregnancy, you can expect to be anywhere from two days to two weeks late. You can distract yourself by keeping track of fetal movements, mostly to reassure yourself that all is well with your little miracle. In the off chance that movements do start to decrease substantially, try not to freak out and instead, call your doctor of midwife and discuss it with them.
If you're having trouble sleeping (which about 100% of women in this phase of pregnancy are), try to take little catnaps during the day, get one of those neato full-body pregnancy pillows, or at least lots of pillows that you can shove between your legs and under your belly to support your awkward shape more comfortably. Also, if you're feeling weird electrical tingles in your legs and inside your vagina, this would be none other than your not-so-little baby hitting various nerves as they settle into the pelvic area.

~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~♥~

Last weekend I gathered some women in my home and we put henna on my belly. Some of you may remember that I did this last time I was pregnant, but I am much happier with the results this time--I like the design better, and the stain is much darker and should last better as well.
(Yes, I have managed to acquire a few new stretch marks this time--they didn't start coming out until these last couple of weeks, but all along the top there is a new little row...yet another reason for me to think that Eagle is bigger than his brother Bear was...)

(with the paste on--including the glitter dust)

Here's a short breakdown of the reasons behind the design:
The spiral is a symbol of eternity (significant in that this baby is being born into an eternal family)
The sunburst is a symbol of birth or new beginnings
Each of the little symbols within the spiral were either drawn by my friends/family who attended, or represent those that could not attend.
♥Dragon (lower left) is Hubby
♥Car (center) drawn by Bear (he made some little circles then told me it was a car and asked me to "fix it better" so I did)
♥Mountains (lower right) drawn by Wolf. He said they weren't very good (applying henna takes a little practice) but I can see mountains, can't you?
♥Flower (bottom center), pink butterfly (just above flower), and baby with aura (upper left) were drawn by my friends who attended.
♥Forget-Me-Not (blue flower--upper right) is for my mother. Horseshoe, (purple) celtic knot, and the heart are for my sisters.
♥The leaf (for new life), the concentric circles (for birthing), and star (for light) round out the design, with a few little artistic dot trios to fill in the empty spaces.

(after the paste was off--the actual stain of the henna)

I love this picture...we used glitter dust on parts of the wet henna, and the boys were blowing off the excess so we could take the photos...

On Birth Plans

Some people love them, some people hate them, and some doctors even post notices in their offices that they won’t allow them; but one way or the other most pregnant women have probably heard of writing a birth plan.
What is a birth plan? Most simply put, it is a way for the mother/parents to make her/their preferences known to the birth providers. The typical care provider has many patients at any given time, and can’t really be expected to remember every little thing that you want for your labor and delivery. Some attendants (such as hospital nurses) don’t usually meet the mother until she is already in labor, and have no way of differentiating her from any other laboring woman. Particularly if you want something that breaks from the routine of your chosen provider or location, it’s good to have it written down so that everyone knows.
I have heard some mothers say “oh, well, I’ve had babies with this provider before and everything was great last time” or “but I’m having a homebirth” and they assume that this means they don’t need to write anything down. As I said before though, I think it’s always worth writing things down. YOU may remember your last birth with clarity, but I suspect that Dr Fantastic has attended a few hundred deliveries since then, and he may or may not remember yours very well. Likewise, your adored midwife may have to send her partner if you go into labor at the same time as another mother, and she can’t very well be aware of your contingency plan preferences if you never tell her about them!

Every birth plan is a little different, but here are some basic suggestions for what might be included on one:

• Your name (and—in a hospital—your provider’s name) should be right at the top. You don’t want your plan getting mixed up with someone elses!
• Vital medical information such as allergies, high-risk status, or special concerns about yourself or the baby.
• Who you want present for the birth (or if there are certain people that you want kept out).
• Your preferences for labor—lighting, noise/music, privacy, eating, IVs, internal/external/intermittent fetal monitoring, movement, medication, attendants, etc.
• Your preferences for birth—episiotomy, birthing positions and locations, watching with a mirror, touching the baby’s head during crowning, who will catch the baby, etc
• Your preferences for immediately after the birth—cutting the cord, announcing the sex of the baby, skin-to-skin contact with the newborn, breastfeeding, and standard newborn routines (such as bathing, medications, tests, and shots).
• Your preferences from birth until discharge—rooming with the baby vs the nursery, visitors, binkie-usage, circumcision, or early discharge.
• Your contingency plans/preferences (more on that in a coming post)

Here are a few tips about writing birth plans:

• Keep it simple & short ~ I used bullet points. The version I gave to my doula and doctor was 2 pages, and I went over the items with them each at prenatal appointments. I made a 1 page version for the hospital staff because a nurse had told me that they don’t ever have time to look at multiple pages, and rarely even finish the first one!
• Keep it positive & polite ~ Try to word things with “I prefer____” rather than “Don’t do ____” because the last thing you need is for your attendants to feel defensive. I used phrases like “If possible” “I would prefer” and “Please.”
• Keep it practical ~ Realize that your choice of provider and location is going to dictate a few things, so if you’re birthing at a hospital try saying “I prefer minimal vaginal exams” rather than “Don’t do internal exams unless I ask for them”
• Bold or underline the vital things ~ Remember how they won’t have time to read the whole thing? If you have any drug allergies, put them top, center, and underlined. If you can sum up your other desires in one sentence, put that top, center, underlined, and boldfaced! (Mine was “Please discuss with us the benefits, risks, and alternatives of any procedure before doing it to me or the baby.”)