On True Love

For some reason February 14th has been dubbed the day of love. Why this, over other days? I know, there was some guy a long time ago, and this is his birthday, or something... Honestly I think the whole concept of the day is skewed. We get all wrapped up in one day of gifts and treats and special favors, and somehow that is supposed to compensate for another 364 days of negligence. Flowers and dinners and chocolates and lingerie on February 14th mean nothing unless there is true love on the other days as well.

And what is true love?

It's not giving candy or balloons or flowers, although those things can be nice expressions of it.

It's not laying your coat in a puddle for her to walk on (does this really produce anything more than a wet coat?!)

It's not making wild declarations or performing daring deeds.

It's not kisses or hugs or long moonlit walks.

What is true love?

It is when Hubby took an hour every night with the colicy baby, singing Beatles and James Taylor songs to him, so that I could take a shower or even sleep for a few minutes.

It is when my 7 year old asked me to teach him how to wash dishes, because he wanted to help more around the house.

It is when my Hubby can look down at the mess where our baby was just born, and then look back up at my sweaty face and wild hair and say "I love you. You're beautiful."

It is pumping and freezing your breastmilk to share with mothers who don't have enough.

It is getting your wife the unscented lotion, not because you're not sure what scent to get, but because you know that perfumes make her queasy.

It is making your son's favorite cookies for him, even though you think they're gross.

It is being a doggie, and letting the baby climb on your back and sit on your head, because you know he's still learning to be gentle.

It is when my baby takes a break from running around the house to lay his head in my lap.

It is hearing the plaintive word "Nurn?" for the forty-third time today, and still smiling as your toddler climbs into your lap to nurse for six more seconds.

It is spending your whole day off helping someone move.

It is teaching someone a skill.

It is giving up the easy life for the good life as you welcome a child to the family. It is giving up the simple life for the concerned one when you send them out the door.

It is giving up Your Only Begotton Son to save the world.

Our children will view the world through the glasses we give them: what perception of love am I teaching my children?

As a culture, we have developed the idea that 'true love' is a romantic thing. Something that develops between couples. We are wrong. The truest kind of love is the kind that goes far beyond romantic, couples, or red hearts with lace. It is the love that gives.

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I would love to hear your thoughts on true love. I was inspired to do this in the first place by a series of "true love" posts that Nessa was doing (hopefully she doesn't mind my putting them here!) Please leave your link!

Own Up To The Odd

So, apparently great minds think alike, because just after I came up with Quirky Thursday, a friend of a friend came up with “Own up to the Odd” which is, essentially, a meme challenging people to confess to their special little quirks… along with it though, she’s setting up a link forum on her site, so you can go read about the weirdness of MANY people, and hopefully feel a little more confident in your own special oddities. Heeheehee!

Some more confessions of genuine weirdness from me:

I never thought this was unusual until other moms started telling me how weird I was…but laundry does not pile up at my house. Occasionally we’ve been known to run out of somebody’s socks (usually because he went through 2-3 pairs a day stomping in puddles or playing in snow). But in general, I do laundry one or two days a week. I do hate folding the clothes, but I don’t mind washing them.
I also don’t like anybody else to help with the laundry (except folding/putting away). I have my own little system and I have a really hard time not getting frustrated if somebody messes with it. I also get annoyed if someone drops an item into the wrong basket (we have separate baskets for the different loads).

I do not mind doing dishes or loading the dishwasher. I HATE unloading/putting them away. I do not know why this is, but it’s a big deal with me. One of the nicest things Hubby can do for me is put away the dishes, regardless of whether he washes the next batch.

My Hubby Loves Me

I should begin here by explaining a little something about love languages. For those not familiar with the book, or the concept, essentially the idea is that people tend to fall into one of five categories in terms of how they prefer to have love expressed. Some people like little gifts, some people need words of affection, some like physical touch, some prefer quality time, and some, like myself, speak the love language of "Acts of Service." This means that if you want to tell me you love me, don't say it, show it. Do the dishes for me. Cook dinner. Put the kids to bed. Clean the toilet (please!). Most especially, if I ask you to do something for me, and you say you will, then DO. Almost nothing makes me feel so unimportant as when somebody forgets to do something for me that they said they would do.
So, when Hubby had to go to Juneau, we put together a list of a few things for him to pick up. Then he ended up being stuck there, and we thought of more things we wanted, so the list grew...finally, when he came home on the ferry yesterday, he was bringing a LOT of things...a bunch of it I had asked for, but some of it he just got for me. A fridge (and freezer) very very full of fresh foods...veggies, meat...all the stuff that's hard to get here. And see that whole drawer full of yogurt? THAT is serious love. That is my favorite yogurt, and I can't get it here.

A Papa Murphy's pizza--not only did he 'make dinner' for me, he also got my favorite kind: veggie ranch (with tomatoes, onion, spinach, artichoke hearts, zucchini, and hey, with all that goodness, I don't mind the mushrooms!)

A new rug for our living room--which used to be cold and bare and cave-like. The rug is sooo soft and happy on my bare feet! And I really couldn't care less that it clashes with the couch (see upper right corner!). After all, the rug is ours and we'll take it when we move, but the couch goes with the apartment. (Also note that he got me new tennis shoes for aerobics--I haven't had a new pair of tennies in, erm, about 7 years I think. and the last pair has most definitely given up the ghost!)

The classic, red roses...not something I would ever ask for, but something that does make me feel special all the same...even if the only 'vase' i have here is a blue plastic pitcher!

And this is actually probably the sweetest thing of all: 4 seasons of a show.
When we were first married, we used to watch an episode of X-Files almost every night after W was in bed. It was shorter than a movie (so great for a weeknight), but didn't have the interruptions or lack of choice that comes with watching TV. After 10 seasons of X-files, we watched 10 seasons of Friends, then 7 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. We started The 4400 but it got dumb. I started watching Angel (Buffy spinoff) and he started watching 24, and neither of us could stand the other's show, so we didn't watch them together... So we've been without a show, and we've been missing that couch time together each night. So Hubby borrowed these from my second cousin (who lives in Juneau), and now we have months of "date nights in" ready to go! Yay!

I think my Hubby loves me.

Many Moods

My brother took these at Christmas, over the period of about one minute...(I don't know if I kept them in proper sequence or not)

Some Great Things About Alaska

I came across this post on another Alaskan Mama's Blog.
Now, she lives in Anchorage, which is up "in the interior" (or at least on the edge of it!) and has some differences from the islands of "southeast" where we live...additionally we are in such a teeny town that some things she mentioned (such as the great food) isn't so applicable here...but a lot of things are!
To her list, I want to add a couple of things we love about living in Alaska:
**At least out here in Pelican, it's a dog-friendly place. Dogs are part of the family, we know each others dogs' names the way we know each others kids' names. When invited to a friends house, the dog is usually welcome. Leashes are more or less optional (so long as the dog is reletively well-behaved).
**FRESH fish like I have never had before. And, since most of the town is fishermen, everybody has fish just laying around...I don't even know how many times somebody has dropped by to give us some (ie: 5lbs) of fish!
**Black Cod. All I gotta say is, if you've never had it, poor you. Salmon is common (and I don't love it); halibut is common (and I do love it); but black cod rocks my world.

Yes We Can

I have still not settled entirely on one candidate as my 'favorite' in the current electoral proceedings. I am inclined to agree with my friend Magical Mama that we need a composite candidate. But, in light of that impossibility, I continue to seek realistic options. I liked a lot of things about Romney (and his religion being the same as mine had nothing to do with it, I assure you). I see a lot of things I like in Ron Paul (and will likely be posting about him again, as I recently read something else I liked). Today, however, I want to share something I recently encountered about Barack Obama. In terms of realistic candidates, I feel pretty good about him, and this little clip just gave me warm fuzzies all over.

I was able to find a video of the original speech (in New Hampshire, on the night of their primaries). You can also read the full text of the speech, although this clip (the finale of course) is, obviously, the best part.
(and, if the video won't play correctly, here is where to go to see the original.)


This music video was created by Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas.

Because of the overlapping of the words on the clip, it can be difficult to hear all the words. However, I was so moved by this that I transcribed it so that I wouldn't miss anything.


It was a creed written into the founding documents that declared the destiny of a nation.
Yes we can.
It was whispered by slaves and abolitionists as they blazed a trail toward freedom.
Yes we can.
It was sung by immigrants as they struck out from distant shores and pioneers who pushed westward against an unforgiving wilderness.
Yes we can.
It was the call of workers who organized; women who reached for the ballots; a President who chose the moon as our new frontier; and a King who took us to the mountaintop and pointed the way to the Promised Land.
Yes we can to justice and equality.
Yes we can to opportunity and prosperity.
Yes we can heal this nation.
Yes we can repair this world.
Yes we can.
We know the battle ahead will be long, but always remember that no matter what obstacles stand in our way, nothing can stand in the way of the power of millions of voices calling for change.
We want change.
We have been told we cannot do this by a chorus of cynics...they will only grow louder and more dissonant. We've been asked to pause for a reality check. We've been warned against offering the people of this nation false hope. But in the unlikely story that is America, there has never been anything false about hope.
Now the hopes of the little girl who goes to a crumbling school in Dillon are the same as the dreams of the boy who learns on the streets of LA; we will remember that there is something happening in America; that we are not as divided as our politics suggests; that we are one people; we are one nation; and together, we will begin the next great chapter in the American story with three words that will ring from coast to coast; from sea to shining sea: Yes we can. Yes we can. Yes we can. Yes we can.

Yes.

We.

Can.

Ahoy STUFF!

I was just reading over at picklebums here where she talks about organizing and de-cluttering...
I have to say that moving 2000 miles with only 20 boxes and 6 suitcases (for a family of 4 for a year) was an amazing lesson in how little STUFF we really need! I had a fairly massive freesale on my front lawn the day before I moved, and got rid of literally a roomful of stuff. It is so freeing to get rid of things! It's a little hard at first, I know. I was a pack rat for most of my childhood and teen years...but I finally am learning to let go of STUFF. Have I missed a few thing? Yes. Many things? NOPE! And I love that my tiny little apartment is reletively clutter-free!
Now that we know that we're going to stay up here long term, we're going to drive back down to Utah this summer and empty out the garage full of stuff that we left there. We have decided to keep a couple of things (heirloom cherry wood dressers, various sizes of childrens clothing, most of the books), but we are going to get rid of about 80% of what we have there. It costs more to move it than to replace it... My goal is that when we are buying new things, we will be buying the things we truly want or need, not just trying to replace what we had, does that make sense?! For example, we had a dozen little mismatched bookshelves to hold all our books--books which were stuffed in sideways and two deep in places just to try to get them to fit. Our ideal is to have a large wall (one) of built-in shelves (or a large matched set if we buy a home rather than build), and to get rid of books we won't read over and over, and have things neat and sorted and organized...

So, I think the general idea here was to try to help inspire others in their own de-cluttering efforts. So here are a few stepping stones! (Please know that I share these ideas with full confession that I'm a work in progress too! But these are my guiding lights...)

1) Clothing
a) go through all your own (adult) clothing. If you have not worn it in the last year, get rid of it. I don't care how much you love it, how much you spent on it, or how much you believe you're going to fit into it again...if you don't get into it once in a year, you're almost certainly not going to in the coming year. (The exceptions to this rule are maternity clothing and the occasional non-nursing item). Ditto on shoes: I mean, how many pair do you REALLY need?
This could apply to jewelry too...I finally came to the realization that as much as I love earrings, I have worn the same diamond studs for over a year. I have actually not even removed them in that time. What is the point in owning 20 pair if I only wear one? So I gave a bunch to my sister, who is a teenager, and changes them twice in a day.
b) consider how often you do laundry--if you wash clothing once a week, then you need enough clothing for a week, plus a spare or two. For my kids, I have 5-6 short sleeve shirts, 5-6 long sleeved ones, plus something dressy (for church). 4-6 jeans/shorts. 8 pairs of socks, 7-8 undies. Spares are always a good idea with kids, as they have a knack for getting into things like mud and puddles, but really, does the average kid need 20 of anything? And with fewer, it's easier to afford higher quality. I pared down my childrens clothing in all sizes, not just the ones my kids currently wear. (I did keep more extras for infant sizes, to allow for blowouts and barf, of course!) For myself, I have even less, because I don't get dirty as often!
c) quality shoes are worth the cost. The damage you can do to your feet with used or overworn or lousey shoes can hurt you (literally) for years. Don't go for style so much as quality and support. Real leather is worth the money. And take the time to make sure you have a good fit!!!

2) Toys
Please realize that I do not just mean children's playthings. I mean grown up toys too--books, movies, board games, collectables, and, yes, even fabric and yarn. (It's ok my knitting friends, we're in this together!)
a) If it's broken or busted, toss it. Does Johnny really play with the one-armed dinosaur? If he does, fine, but if he doens't...bye bye T-Rex, ya know?! Get rid of duplicates--how many wire wisks do you really need?!
b) If it is useless, get rid of it. If you're not willing to get rid of it, then use it! My mother has some heirloom china and crystal...which she uses for serving sunday dinner every week. Do pieces get broken? Of course. But they weren't doing anyone any good just sitting on the shelf, so she uses them.
I know there are people who love to collect trinkets and knick-knacks...this isn't evil in and of itself, but consider your reasons and the results. Does the collection take up a lot of space? Is it difficult to keep clean? Does it serve an additional purpose? (For example, we get magnets as souveniers when we travel--our fridge not only shows where we've been, but also of course we always have plenty of magnets! My mother-in-law collects christmas tree ornaments on her travels.)
c) Evaluate what is actually being used on a regular basis. With fabrics and fibers, evaluate if it's actually in line for a project, or just sitting around because it was so pretty you couldn't say no... If it just sits in the drawer/box/bin/shelf and collects dust, get rid of it. No matter how much you like it, spent on it, or think it's lovely...move it out. Now, I'm willing to give fiber/fabric a longer shelf life than clothing, because I know creative projects take time...so lets say if you have had it for 3 years and not gotten to it, then get rid of it...seriously people, 1000+ days is enough time to get to something!
d) Get the kids on board with cleaning out toys--they will probably be nearly as ruthless as you would! After all, THEY have a pretty good idea of what they do or don't play with! Have a yard sale and let them earn the money from anything they contribute! W made several dollars last summer!

3) General Tips
a) if you get something new, get rid of something old. This applies to closets, toy chests, kitchen drawers, etc. Don't allow stuff to accumulate.
b) just because it's free (or cheap) doesn't mean it's a good idea to take it. Consider whether you will actually use it! We were given a queen size fouton set when our neighbors got a new bed. We set it in the spare room, and did use it twice for guests to sleep on, but mostly it served as a trampoline for our preschooler. And it took up a lot of room. So when we moved, we got rid of it.
c) recycle or pass on what you can, but if it's junk, don't be afraid to just THROW IT OUT!!! Obviously the ultimate goal is to not accumulate junk in the first place, but I suspect we all have it, so, detox! Get rid of it!

I know I am ruthless. But you'll feel better afterwards, trust me! Physical clutter is emotionally and spiritually draining, even when you're surrounded by stuff you love.

4) Moving Forward Intelligently
the goal, of course, is to not repeat the past, and to not accumulate so much clutter again.
a) seek multi-functional items and open-ended toys. Legos, lincoln logs, building blocks, art supplies, playsilks, dolls, dress-up clothing, kitchen/food sets and the like lead to hours of imaginative, interactive play. And, for all that Johnny thinks he wants that latest greatest electronic talking whatever-it-is, it's very likely that the infatuation would be short lived. Once the novelty wears off, there is nothing additional to do with the toy, and so it is set aside in favor of more exciting things. Get your kids on board with this philosophy--W now often comments about why this toy is better than that, and now asks for higher quality items.
b) seek quality--get stainless steel or cast iron cookware, wooden toys rather than plastic, etc. If you use cloth diapers, put in the resources to have good ones. Be willing to spend a little more now, with the knowlege that items will last longer and work better. I LOVE my front-loading energystar washing machine. One small set of cutco knives serves ALL my cutlary needs, and will last me decades.
c) That said, if you are completely content with your simple hand mixer, don't fork out the money for the cousinart or kitchenaid. You probably won't use it much. I didn't. (anybody in the market for a kitchenaid stand mixer?!)
d) a place for everything, and everything in its place. And, I would add, if you discover that your things no longer fit in their place, you should get rid of some of them!!!

Whew, so, that was long, I know. For those of you who actually read the whole thing, maybe you feel inspired! I know I feel inspired to jump back in!

Consider This...

Here are a few quotes I collected from this site. (I recommend the site for anyone not convinced on the circumcision issue--although I say this with the disclaimer that it has actual photos...) I believe these quotes can apply to a lot more than routine infant circumcision though...the cesarian epidemic, early weaning, separating babies from their parents, CIO (crying it out)...the list goes on and on.


"Tradition will accustom people to any atrocity." --George Bernard Shaw

"Habit and routine have an unbelievable power to waste and destroy." --Henri de Lubac

"As long as people believe in absurdities they will continue to commit atrocities." --Voltaire

"Often the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it." --Mark Twain

"What's done to children they will do to society." --Karl Menniger

"The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children." --Dietrich Bonhoeffer

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect." --Mark Twain

"Whenever a doctor cannot do good, he must be kept from doing harm." --Hippocrates

"We shall have to learn to refrain from doing things merely because we know how to do them." --Theodore Fox, Spech to Royal Physicians

"Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom." --Bertrand Russell

"Convictions are more dangerous enemies of truth than lies." --Friedrich Nietzsche

"What history teaches us is that men have never learned anything from it." --Georg Wilhelm Hegel

"It is never too late to give up your prejudices." --Henry David Thoreau

"All truth goes through three stages. First it is ridiculed. Then it is violently opposed. Finally, it is accepted as self-evident." --Arthur Schoepenhauer

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." --Margaret Mead

"Enlighten the people generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body and mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day." --Thomas Jefferson

"Each time a person stands up for an idea, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance." --Robert F. Kennedy

"[A] long habit of not thinking a thing wrong, gives it a superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defence of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." --Thomas Paine, Common Sense

"Whoever has overthrown an existing law of custom has always first been accounted a bad man: but when, as did happen, the law could not afterwards be reinstated and this fact was accepted, the predicate gradually changed; - history treats almost exclusively of these bad men who subsequently became good men!" --Frederich Nietzsche

"It's not the facts which guide the conduct of men, but their opinions about the facts; which may be entirely wrong. We can only make them right by discussion." --Sir Norman Angell

Foray into Felting

Here is the photographic evidence of my new addiction: knitting!
I started off with felting. Felting is very forgiving, since the wool yarn shrinks up and hides a multitude of little mistakes... So, my first project was to make a pair of felted socks, using the fuzzy feet pattern from knitty. I guess standard procedure is to also mention which yarn I used and all that...this is Caron's "Felt It" yarn in "Rose Garden." I found that it tore easily if, say, your infant grabbed the ball and pulled while you were trying to work. On the other hand, it is very soft and pretty easy to work with (it has substantial variation in width, so wouldn't be perfect for everything). In 4 balls of it, I did come across one splice where two pieces had been tied together mid-ball. Spit-splicing does NOT seem to work on this yarn.

Here they are before felting (winnie the pooh is there to show scale)

And here they are after felting!
I have concluded that this pattern is better when made with the short rolled cuff and worn like a slipper--just like it shows on the pattern. I lengthened the cuff to try to make them more sock-like, and they are kinda snug to get on and off, as well as being so thick that it is hard to zip up my boots. So I guess felting should stick to slippers, and not try to venture into socks. Ah well, I learned how to turn a heel!


And this sweet little hat was the product of having an extra ball of the yarn! Modeled here by S, I thought it had too much pink to be a boy hat, so it's now for sale in my store

More Movies

With Hubby out of town for more than half of the last month, I've been watching a lot of movies, so I thought I'd write a few more reviews...

Amazing Grace
PG for historical content (dealing with the slave trade)
This was such a fantastic movie, I can't say enough good about it. I'm not sure how tightly it follows the actual historical facts, but it is well worth watching regardless. The powerful, moving account follows the story of William Wilberforce and his endeavors to get the British House of Commons to end the slave trade.

The Holiday
PG-13 language and sexual content
It's funny and kinda fun, but at several characters are not terribly moral, and that always leaves a sour taste in my mouth. The previews are actually quite accurate--if you like them, you'll probably like it. If not, well, it's nothing spectacular.

Millions
PG for some scary moments and a brief scene which I'll explain
A 7 year old boy finds a duffle bag full of money, and believes it was sent from God. He tries to make the world a better place, but his brother wants to spend it all on toys...and then they learn where the money really came from. A charming little story about finding ones place in the world. That said, it's also a bit weird. It's British--let's just leave it at that, shall we?
In one scene (which doesn't have much to do with the rest of the movie) the little boy is with his pre-teen brother and they come across a picture of a woman in a lace bra. The woman's areola is visible, and the little brother asks what it is. The older says "that's her nipple." "What's it for?" "It's to feed babies. Mum fed us with hers." "How do you know, you can't remember being a baby." "I don't remember her doing it to me, but I remember her doing it to you." And that was the end of that...On the one hand, the scene is unnecessary, on the other hand, I was very pleased that they handled it the way they did...let's hear it for promoting breastfeeding in the movies!!!

The Nanny Diaries
PG-13 for language
It looked cute, and I like Scarlett Johansson...great acting, intriguing premise...but all in all the movie was kinda dumb. I am glad I saw it...but don't feel the need to see it again, ya know? It's depressing to see how dysfunctional some families are.

Stardust
PG-13 for intense situations, storytale combat, and a few scary moments
So, I guess I'm not the first to say it, but this movie reminded me of The Princess Bride or of Shrek. It's not that the story is even vagely similar, but that, like those others, it is a whole new kind of fairy tale. It's not quite little-kid-safe (just a little step up from Princess Bride though), but thoroughly enjoyable. It's full of those far-out things that normal people never think of--like a pirate who catches lightening to sell on the black market, or a kingdom where the heir to the throne is the one who can manage to kill off all his brothers, or an old stone wall which separates the magical world from the mundane...