How We Met--Library

When we met, Hubby was living in Utah (going to school) and I was living in Washington (also going to school). There was no logical reason for our paths to cross, ever.
We met online.
That's the truth.
However, it's not exciting enough, so we tell stories.
It started one day when we were engaged, and attending a church gathering where most of the folks were the age of Hubby's parents. We knew the internet story would probably freak them out, so when it came up that we'd been in separate states, the inevitable question came up "oh, so how did you meet?!" Hubby, being the fast-thinking mastermind that he is, made up a story on the spot. Since then, it has been our tradition that whenever someone asks how we met, I defer to him, and he makes up a new story, on the spot. Some of the stories have been a whole lot of fun, so I thought I would share them with the world!
Today, I share the one he told that first night...

I was a student/teacher in Washington, but I was in Utah attending a conference at the college where Hubby was a student. He was working as an intern in the library. I came into the library during a break, and asked him if he could show me where to find the books on dating. He intentionally took me to the wrong part of the library, indicated an empty shelf, and then said that all the books were checked out, but would I go out with him instead...

(other stories will follow, I promise!)

Vaccines--Polio--update

In the interest of accuracy, I wanted to share that I recently learned that the US government (the FDA I suppose?) is no longer saying that they expect to see polio eradicated by 2010... eradication is (at this point) not in the forseeable future.
Of course, polio still exists almost exclusively in just a few small geographic areas (none of them in the western hemisphere)...but that whole eradication thing, yeah, no longer accurate...

Halloween Costumes

Wolf aka Harry Potter


Me and Bear, as kangaroos


Hubby as Adam Savage from Mythbusters. Yes, he bleached his hair...it's pretty wild.


And our pumpkins...the one on the left is Bear's--made to look like him with smiling eyes, one tooth, and dimples. The one on the right is Wolf's, his own design...I don't know what it is except that it has fangs.

Nine In, Nine Out, Now What?

Nine months gestating inside, nine months gestating outside...and now that my baby is nine months old, what does that mean?
Do I stop wearing him? He's certainly heavy enough at 20lbs that I can't carry him as easily as I used to. He loves to crawl and stand, and is trying to walk, so doesn't need me for mobility as much as he used to. But he's still such a baby! I still love to cuddle him and hold him, but he often wiggles and squirms out of my grasp. Of course, when he's tired, or hurt, or scared, he still wants to be with me. Inevitably, when I really need to set him down (to make dinner or go to the bathroom) he desperately wants to be held.
For halloween, we are going as kangaroo and joey...he likes being in my pouch, so might as well play that up, right? After all, it probably won't last much longer.
I guess he's done with his external gestation, but he's not done being my baby.

Houston, We Have a Tooth!

Last night we finally saw S’s first tooth! He’s acted like he was teething since he was about two months old…I was sure that he was going to get teeth early, but no, he’s 9 1/2 months old and has just now finally gotten a tooth. I suspect that others are close behind of course, but who knows! S has been standing unsupported for a couple of weeks now—the last few days he has stood for as much as 30 seconds, and once he was reaching for a chair and moved his foot before sitting back down…walking is in the very near future for this kid. I had honestly begun to wonder if he would walk before he got any teeth!
Of course, this is compared to my sister’s baby, a mere 10 weeks younger than S. He is 7 months, and not crawling yet, but he has 7 teeth! I wouldn’t trade though…apparently his precocious dental achievements have made for rough nights for him (and his parents), so I’ll stick to my gummy baby, thank you!

Me and the Hubby

Since I haven't done it before (and now I've posted a poll about it, and not all of my readers know us in person...)

Here is a picture of me




Here is Hubby (with W--on the way to school)
closer-up pic coming soon, but if you click on the photo itself, it will open a new page with a big version of this photo, and you can see better from there!

For what it's worth, most people tell me that S looks like me...except all my family, who say that he looks like Hubby.

What SIDS has Taught Me

Today my baby is 9 months and 3 days old. This is the age that my sister Amethyst was on the day that she died of SIDS. I realized this about a week ago, and it has helped me remember to treasure all the little moments with my baby. I certainly don't expect anything to happen to him...then again, we never expected anything to happen to Amy.
Some days motherhood can be so frustrating, and yet it is so precious. I need these little reminders to cherish my babies--at all their ages.
So hug your kids, look at your babies (even the big ones), and remember to show them your love--in the way that they need to be loved. (My older son needs me to spend TIME with him, whereas I feel loved through being served, and so I serve him and sometimes forget to just read to him and hug him.)
If Amy had lived, she would be starting college this fall. 18 years we did not get to spend with her...only 9 months to remember. You never know what life will bring, so don't forget to enjoy the here and now.

W at Play

W was "so tired" that he just had to rest "right now" on the way home from a walk. Yes, he was on the ground when he made the announcement...apparently hanging in the air allows one to rest more efficiently, as he recovered very quickly.



One front tooth gone! (W wiggles, thus the blurring)

S at Play

S keeps busy next to me while I sew...

I swear I only turned around for a minute!

Empty Bellies, Empty Arms

Today, October 15, is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. On the one hand, I think it's a bit corney that they make official remembrance days for just about everything...on the other hand, it's a good opportunity to talk about something I feel passionate about.
I believe that miscarriage is a largely unnoticed tragedy. Most miscarriages happen in the earlier parts of pregnancy--before the woman 'shows' and before many people know that she was even expecting. When the baby is lost, there is rarely a body to hold or bid farewell. Even if the mother sees her fetus, those beyond the family do not, and so, the baby is not real to them. As outsiders have no object for grief, they do not grieve...leaving the parents (especially the mother) very very alone. For some reason, our culture does not recognize a miscarriage as a valid loss (as they would with a stillbirth or especially an older child). Even the medical term "spontaneous abortion" is heartless. Our culture does not accept our grief, and so we are left to grieve alone. In silence.
That is wrong.
Statistically, one in four pregnancies results in miscarriage. With earlier and earlier pregnancy detection, that ratio is decreasing. If we could detect pregnancy at the moment of conception, I suspect that actually only about one in four pregnancies makes it past the first 5 weeks of gestation (3 weeks past ovulation). But let us just go with the "one in four" ratio. That means that 1 in 4 women that you pass on the street has suffered a miscarriage. If you have 3 sisters, then one of you probably has (or will) miscarry. If you have 4 members in your book club, playgroup, or carpool, one of you has (or will) miscarry. If you have more than three children, you will probably have a miscarriage. If you have 7 children, you will probably miscarry twice.
I have miscarried at least three times. Three times I reached at least 12 weeks gestation, only to lose my baby. The first time I had a spontaneous micarriage, at home, and held my tiny son's body in my hand. He was only a few inches long, and his tiny hands and perfect little feet could all four fit on my thumbnail together. My husband's wedding ring could have fit around his head like a crown.

(if you click on the picture you can see it larger)

So tiny, so perfect...and not ours to keep. My subsequent miscarriages, unfortunately, involved D&Cs, so there was no baby to hold, no one to bid adieu, and no closure. Holding my tiny baby was the hardest thing I had ever done...until I had to say goodbye to babies I couldn't even hold.
Miscarriage is overlooked the vast majority of the time, yet it is so common. Following my miscarriage(s), women 'came out of the woodwork' and shared their own miscarriage stories with me. My mother said that the same thing happened to her after she miscarried. Why is it that we do not tell our stories except to other women who miscarry? By doing so, we are promulgating the cycle of silence. Mothers, you who have suffered with empty bellies and empty arms, be silent no longer! Speak up! There is no shame in having miscarried, only in refusing to acknowledge how it changes us.