tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551466722529127235.post7432332155410862410..comments2023-05-19T01:13:38.607-08:00Comments on Mindful Serenity: "Punished by Rewards" by Alfie KohnJennihttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01279308378287322473noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551466722529127235.post-78218237328901969352011-03-02T14:00:40.207-09:002011-03-02T14:00:40.207-09:00This is probably horrible but you know, I can'...This is probably horrible but you know, I can't help thinking how this could be tied in to the Bible. Maybe it's due to the issues I'm having with my husband right now and his beliefs but as I was reading what the author wrote, it really came to mind.<br /><br />How many Christians focus more on "the law" than on anything else and use that to be judgmental and overbearing. I see many Christians who follow the "rules" only for the "reward" and don't really have much in the way of morals or even a moral character. They learn to do things for the reward and are actually very likely to stray from the church when they don't get that reward.<br /><br />The explain why part also hits home, so many "rules" are never explained. They are there and are expected to be followed and no one knows why! An example of this is my husband deciding not to shave his beard because the Bible says not to. Well, why? What reason is there for one to NOT shave? It makes no sense to me at all and therefore, it goes back to the whole he's doing it for the reward, he doesn't really know WHY, and it then in effect destroys OUR relationship because he focuses on the rewards he's going to get on not on our relationship, the fact that he did this without talking to me, and that the ends always justify the means even if that means he LIES to me in order to do what he's supposed to do.<br /><br />Is it any wonder that I have grown very frustrated with organized religion? *sigh*Janeenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12085755609836623027noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5551466722529127235.post-7836877607521192182011-03-02T11:39:31.445-09:002011-03-02T11:39:31.445-09:00I loved Unconditional Parenting. It made me uncomf...I loved Unconditional Parenting. It made me uncomfortable at the beginning and rang so true by the end I couldn't deny it. He's right. More people need to read his books. I am not perfect and I do sometimes find that I threaten and reward, but overall, he has changed how I parent.Morgan Hageyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04477753070828406848noreply@blogger.com