And then he will run around the house slashing/shooting at everything and everyone.
Even though mom has tried to encourage a peaceful home environment by not allowing 'violent' toys or games...
Top ten 'swords' or 'guns' in our house
- Mom's knitting needles, even the short DPNs
- pieces of wooden train track
- sticks
- plastic hotwheels track
- rulers
- duplos & legos
- marble run segments
- lincoln logs
- vacuum attachments
- his own hands
Accept the inevitable.
Wolf, age 4
Seriously!!!! My boy is such a stereotypical boy...and I didn't even think I was doing much to encourage those societal norms!! Amazing how innate a lot of that stuff is!
ReplyDeleteboys will be boys.
ReplyDeleteI've always found that no matter how much you try to "shelter" kids from violence, they still like to act it out and make believe such things. Of course, how you talk about violence and portray it in your own life will be shadowed by your children. It's your example that makes the difference.
Indeed. I don't have personal experience (my daughter is, well, a girl, and has yet to use anything as a weapon but she's only 18 months old afterall) but I was reading about how boys do seem to play with "weapons" even if they're not allowed to play with toy guns and the like. Whatever I was reading suggested that parents allow their sons to do so without trying to make them feel shame for what seems to be a natual outlet for boys. Also: denying the play altogether has that "don't you wish you could" siren song that might just aggrevate the situation, while left alone most boys grow out of the need to swashbuckle. Again, I don't know about it firsthand, but that makes sense to me.
ReplyDeleteWillow is the same way. She'll even eat her sandwiches into the shape of a gun or sword and then chase her brother with it. We don't buy violent toys but it's just so pervasive in our cultural environment. We've finally just made the rule that you can't shoot at real people, just pretend "bad guys." Sigh.
ReplyDeleteMy mom learned from play therapy with the youngest three that it's actually important to allow children that "violent" outlet. (In fact, she had to actually go buy a few toy swords and guns, which she hadn't previously allowed.) It's a safe and effective way children act out their aggression and face their fears, and parents need to just act along. I cut Styrofoam swimming noodle in half and my girls use those for their "swords." They can beat me as much as they want and it doesn't hurt, but they sure have fun and are able to act out any bad feelings they have, with me being the bad guy and them being victorious heroes in the end. There's something about it that is quite empowering to them. Play therapy is very interesting stuff...
ReplyDeleteWe've adopted a household policy of following the "law of the jungle" (which is that it is ok to kill if you are going to eat, or if it is in defense of your own life).
ReplyDeleteSo hunting is ok--so long as you intend to respect the animal by killing cleanly and using all the parts.
War games, while I don't allow them on computer/video games, are ok in play (such as legos, army men, etc). We just talk about scripture warriors, how they followed God's word about defending their family/home/freedom, but how if they took the offensive they lost His help.
I certainly get that a certain amount of aggressive (even violent) play is normal and natural and even a healthy release...but even in play, I hope to guide my children in healthy directions, so that as they get older those healthy contexts are implanted in their brains. :)